Part 58:
The Lady Knight Saves the Fake Princess
AT AROUND THE SAME TIME as the miner and the princess shared a Shovel Kiss, Catria sat on a bench near the Merry-Go-Shovel.
“Asleep, I see…”
Next to her, Lucy clung to Catria’s waist and breathed quietly. With a single touch of the Sacred Scabbard Arcadia’s Anti-Shovel Power, Catria had cleaned away the “shovel” words scrawled over Lucy’s face, allowing her lovely features to breathe. That one touch had purified Lucy of all traces of Shovel Corruption.
“Ah… Ahhh! If you ever get another one like this, please give it to me!” Lucy had sobbed, clinging to the light of hope.
Catria didn’t have the heart to tell Lucy about what it took to recharge the scabbard’s Anti-Shovel Power, as it would only have driven Lucy into deeper despair. Making little angels sad was antithetical to the duty of a knight.
“I didn’t know this scabbard could affect others too.”
Might she be able to erase Lithisia’s corruption with the scabbard? Catria momentarily considered the idea before judging it too dangerous. Lithisia’s inability to use the orbs meant she was no longer truly human; she was closer to being a shovel. If the princess touched the scabbard, she might very well disappear.
Am I now cursed to forever serve a shovel-esque princess? Catria gazed into the distance, her eyes filled with despair.
“Huh? Princess?”
Catria saw a familiar-looking blonde girl in a dress strolling down the Shovel Path. From a distance, she was most certainly Lithisia, but something was off. She kind of wobbled, as if unwell, but on top of that, at the moment, she should’ve been riding the Ferrshovel Wheel.
“Wait, then that means—”
Catria left Lucy on the bench and dashed toward the figure, only to be met with a grim truth.
“Aaaah… Shovel… No, shovel… No! Silence, me!”
“It’s you, Elise.”
Just as Catria thought, it was the fake princess, Elise of the Reflection, who had earlier escaped them. Her present condition was tragic.
“Shovel… Shovel… Nngh, aaah, you can do it! You can do it, Eliiiise!!!”
With tears flowing from her eyes, Elise pushed against some invisible force.
It was clear as day that she’d been corrupted by the shovel. Every few seconds, her eyes sparkled like shovels, and to make matters worse, she kept making Shovel Signs (quite skillfully) with her fingers and sucking on Shandies (Shovel Candies.)
“This is terrible.”
It really was.
Had Elise doomed herself when she peered into the depths of Lithisia’s shovel obsession? She had done her best to resist at the moment, but it had been only a matter of time before she fell into the dark, dark shovel hole. With that in mind, Catria couldn’t help but frown sympathetically at the demon.
“Wait…” Catria glanced down at the scabbard on her hip. It would be too dangerous to cleanse the real princess’s corruption, but what about Elise? Let’s just call it an experiment.
“Please work.”
Catria touched her scabbard to Elise’s unguarded chest.
“Nnnnnnnngh?!”
Elise vibrated as if a jolt of electricity ran through her body. The shandy fell from her mouth and her eyes regained their humanity. She hadn’t really been human to begin with so that probably wasn’t accurate, but the important bit here was that she was no longer careening toward shovelhood.
“Where…am I?” Elise was totally lost. If nothing else, she’d managed to return to her normal evil demon self. She glanced about her surroundings, her gaze landing on Catria. “Ngh! How dare you, Knight Catria! I never asked for your help!”
She seemed disappointed with herself more than anything.
“Er, excuse me?”
“I was just about to break that self-proclaimed miner’s brainwashing all on my own!”
“Actually, that was all the princess. Also, it was super obvious you were nowhere close to doing that.”
Especially given the way Elise had been sucking on shandies. She had been basically full-on Lithisia (shovel) at that point.
“I don’t care! I would’ve made it work!” Elise screamed, tears of true frustration in her eyes. “I wasn’t even brainwashed by Alan himself, just one of his followers… Ugh!”
Elise angrily stomped on the Shovel Path. By “follower,” she no doubt meant Lithisia.
“Who cares about shovels?! I, Elise of the Reflection, will never lose against a joke like that!”
“Yeah, no, totally.”
Catria realized with faint surprise that she was smiling. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of kinship with Elise’s attempts to resist the shovel.
“Hrmph, but after going through this brainwashing, I think I’ve finally gotten a handle on things,” said Elise.
“Define ‘things.’”
“Alan. His true identity is that of a greater God-class entity who governs over spirit.” Once again, Elise found herself saying something rather sad without realizing it.
“Not so much.”
“Yes so much.”
“Nope,” Catria stated definitively.
While she agreed that Alan’s humanity was up for debate, after traveling with him over the last few months, Catria knew better. He really was just a jewel miner who used his shovel to dig into the ground. That was what made it all so absurd. He was no “God-class entity” or whatever. The proof lay in Alan’s dedication to the concept of common sense. His thinking wasn’t abnormal, just his power.
The princess, on the other hand, absolutely lacked anything resembling basic logical principle.
Catria tried to explain this, but Elise shook her head.
“You’re naïve, Catria. That too is part of his brainwashing.”
“What am I supposed to say to that?”
“Think about it really carefully. Seriously.” Elise’s gaze was super serious. “There’s simply no way that a human could live three hundred years or whatever and suddenly learn how to fire a Wave Motion Blast just from digging with a shovel!”
Catria had no reply because, frankly, that made sense. But the theory that Alan somehow qualified as a deity was even more ridiculous.
“And then there’s his follower and her awful way of thinking. Ah, aaah! Just thinking about it makes me so angry!”
Elise began to tremble and whisper the word “shovel,” so Catria panicked and pressed her scabbard against the demon girl again.
“That…thing next to Alan! What the hell is that thing?!” Elise wailed.
“I know, right?” Catria agreed with Elise on a deep level. That “thing” was indeed something else entirely, taking the form of a princess.
“So you understand at least that much? Yes… You really are the perfect fit.” Elise adjusted her dress, which was in a bit of disarray. “I remember now why I came here. For you.”
“Say wha?”
Elise extended her hand. “Come with me. Together, we shall fight that dreadful creature.”
“I already told you, I refuse.”
“I’m even more serious than last time. I mean…” Elise smiled faintly. “I took the liberty of peeking into your past with my power.”
“You did what?”
Elise giggled. “At your very core lies resentment, Catria. No wonder I love you so much. You resented yourself for being an inferior knight. For not being born a man. For not being a natural-born genius with a blade. You resented every form of yourself for lacking self-confidence.”
Catria stared deep into Elise’s eyes. If she were still the same person she had been when she set out on this journey, she might have lost herself in a rage. But she wasn’t that person now. Catria had spent the whole journey resisting Alan and Princess Lithisia’s fierce shovel attacks. She would not be swayed by the words of some demon.
“You know, I resented things too.” A grin formed on Elise’s lips. “I hated being insulted and looked down upon. I didn’t want to spend my days being toyed with by some unknown force. That’s why I decided to join the side of those pursuing greater power. No matter how many tens of thousands of years it takes, I’ll make that cursed God-class entity feel the same as I did!”
Elise pointed at Catria.
“You feel the same as I! You bitterly hate that your life has been overtaken by something as stupid as a shovel, do you not? You’ll never forgive that man for turning something you treasured into something worthless. I understand. You’re just like me. That’s why—” Elise took a deep breath, and, just as she was about to make her declaration to Catria—
Beeeep!
The park’s Shovelcom system went off.
“You should sing ‘The park is now sholosed!’ with me!”
Multiple seconds passed as the announcement echoed.
Catria’s cold expression read: “I knew this would happen.”
On the other end, Elise stood in silent shock. She turned her gaze to one of the Shovelcoms (at the top of a Shovel Pole), and her cheeks grew red like she had just exploded.
“THIS IS WHY! THIS IS WHY I’LL NEVER LET SHOVELS HAVE THEIR WAY!!!” she howled, stomping.
“Yeah, well, good luck. I’ll be cheering for you.”
“Wait, Catria! Fight by my side against them!”
“Sorry, but nah,” Catria said without giving it any thought.
“But why?!”
Honestly, Catria could not see a future in which she and Elise would win against the shovel. But more importantly, Elise was technically an evil demon. And even more importantly…
“You’re right. I’m bitter and resentful about all manner of things the shovel has done to me.”
Even so, in her mind’s eye, Catria saw the image of a man and a woman holding a shovel. These two were massive threats to humanity and undoubtedly the source of a great deal of chaos in the world. However, Catria could not say they were anything much like Elise. That didn’t just come from a place of loyalty.
“I never want to have their power,” said Catria.
Elise wanted to become like Lithisia. But Catria would never ever think that way. She couldn’t. I want to be a human, and that’s why I resist.
“Hmph.” This declaration clearly disappointed Elise. “I’ll be on my way for now. But Catria, one day, you too will understand.”
“Understand what exactly?”
“That in order to fight an overwhelming power from a higher dimension…” Elise’s body began to disappear, likely a result of her teleportation spell. “One must ‘It’s sholosing time! Praise be the shovel!’ a higher being—wait a minute—”
The teleport did not in fact wait, and Elise vanished.
Catria was left whispering to herself. “I knew it, you’re no good.”
Elise had likely tried to say something like “One must become a higher being as well,” but in this case, that would just mean becoming a shovel. No matter what, Catria could see naught but a sad future awaiting Elise.