Part 57:
Lithisia’s First Shovel Kiss
THE FERRSHOVEL WHEEL was designed to be a popular ride for couples. In the center of the gondola for two, a magic video stone dug up and projected the pair’s “Shovel” Memories onto the glass windows. But what exactly were Shovel Memories? Even Alan didn’t know the answer to that question.
As such, Alan had Shovel Copied part of Lithisia’s soul and used it to create the device that determined and selected Shovel Memories. One could say this particular ride was a part of Lithisia herself.
Aaahhh…
And so Lithisia sat together with Alan inside the Ferrshovel Wheel, their shoulders nestled side by side like lovers. She couldn’t dig up the words to speak. Basically, she was beyond embarrassed.
Badump, badump, badump.
Lithisia struggled to muster the courage to look Alan in the eyes. After all, not only were their shoulders touching, she could feel his body heat. Alan was next to her. That alone was nearly enough to make her melt in shovelly joy. His proximity made her feel like she didn’t care about the whole Zeleburg Assashovenation Plan or her Shovel Messiah Plan. Who could have thought she could be so happy without ever needing to confess?
“Lithisia,” said Alan.
“GERFLASHOVEL?!”
Alan’s mouth opened as if he were about to actually interject with regards to her bizarre scream. Instead, he said, “It’s about time for the playback of our Shovel Memories. I assume I can go first?”
“Ah, y-yeah, that’s fine.” Lithisia abruptly stopped speaking; her nerves were too powerful.
Would she even be in Alan’s Shovel Memories?
For many years, Lithisia had been said to be the most beautiful girl in all the land. But those who had said so had based their assessment on human standards. Did human standards mean anything to shovels? Lithisia had tried so very hard to become a shovel, but in the end, she had failed.
Right now, she was neither human nor shovel, just a middling halfling shovel girl. If anything, Catria was more like a shovel of late. She had shot a Wave Motion Shovel Blast before Lithisia did too (quite frankly, Lithisia was extshovelly jealous).
But even then…
Sir Miner, please… Lithisia put her hands together and prayed. I won’t ask to be your number one, but I’d be so happy if you kept at least a tiny spot for me in your Shovel Memories… Please, shovel…
Holding those feelings close to her chest, Lithisia peeked at the video projected by the magic stone. It displayed the image of a blonde girl in a risqué white bikini. Her breasts swelled as she brought her arms together and looked up at Alan, asking if she was “shovel enough.”
In other words, it was Lithisia—specifically, as she had appeared when they sought the Green Orb in the seas of Lactia.
“EEEEEEK, SHOVEL?!” Lithisia panicked and stood up in the gondola, hiding the video with her body.
Surprisingly, Alan raised his voice in a slight panic as well. “Sh-shovel?! Shovel?!”
The princess’s eyes spun. “S-Sir Miner, this is your shovelest memory of me?!”
“I don’t even know what that means, but…” Given that it was being projected on the glass, that had to be the case. This was, in fact, the first time Alan really seemed to understand the use of “shovel” as an adjective.
As Alan explained as much, smoke seemed to rise from the top of Lithisia’s head; she felt small. Truth be told, she had actually been pretty focused at the time. Back during the search for the Green Orb, she had been excited by all the water and worn that crazy bikini, but now that she thought about it, that was ridiculous! It really didn’t cover up, like, anything… And since this was Alan’s memory, he had evidently noticed.
“Huh? Ah? Er, aaaaaagh.” Lithisia was simultaneously embarrassed and happy beyond her wildest dreams. She clenched her fists, clutching her dress as she fidgeted. That was when she realized she was wearing a long skirt—her usual princess dress. Would Alan have been happier if she wore her miniskirt? Actually—“U-um, sh-should I wear a bikini from here on out?”
“Why?! No, don’t. Please.”
“Shovel?!” Lithisia had put her everything into that offer, yet he turned it down at Mach speed. How could she not feel bad?
“Lithisia, you must never dress like that in front of anyone but the person you love.”
“Huh? But… Urgh…”
“It’s true that I recognized your beauty, but I wish you’d show a little more restraint.”
“Um! Sir Miner, I!”
“Hrm?”
Lithisia stopped in her tracks. The words that came after “I”… If she said them, there’d be no turning back. Would she say them? Would she actually say them? Would Alan accept those words? Would he think of her only as a failshovel (a girl who failed to become a shovel)? What if he abandoned her?
But even then.
“Sir Miner, I-I’ve always…” Her tears flowed freely, but the words didn’t stop coming. This, Lithisia wouldn’t fail to do. “I’ve always…!”
Since the day they met. She clenched her fists and found the words of her confession.
“I’ve always…shoveled you!”
The video had long since stopped.
Lithisia stared at Alan, breathing heavily. Her lips pressed tight together, the expression on her face that of someone who had just finished the hardest job of their entire life (or shovelife).
On the flip side, Alan focused all his brain power into pondering a single thing: What did “shovel” mean in this instance?
“…”
Truth be told, Alan didn’t understand approximately 90 percent of the shovel things Lithisia said. He believed it pointless to ask for clarification, considering the answer would undoubtedly be something along the lines of, “shovelly shovel the shovel of shovels!” That was why Alan usually let her words fly over his head.
But not this time.
Lithisia was entirely earnest. She was stiff and staring, trembling with tension, like a maiden waiting for a response to her wedding proposal. (Honestly, that’s exactly what this was.)
The miner had to meet her head-on. In Hell, Alan had said he’d take full responsibility for Lithisia, so even if he didn’t understand her feelings, he would accept them.
“You…shovel me?”
Lithisia nodded furiously. “I do! I shovel you so very very much!”
“I see. You shovel me. I’m…shoveled.”
“I shovel you with all of my shovel!” Lithisia gazed at Alan, tears in her eyes as her heart raced. They were the eyes of someone hoping for something in return.
It wouldn’t be enough to just accept her feelings.
“So what would you have me do…?” Alan asked.
“?!”
“I understand that you shovel me (whatever that means.) So what do you want from me?”
“Ah, um, er, I!” Lithisia hesitated.
This was not the response she had expected, but now that she thought about it, what did people do after confessing? Lithisia had no idea. Marriage? Baby-making? No, those would have to wait until after they reclaimed her country. Then should she ask him to do something with her? No! She could never say something so embarrassing! At the end of the day, her heart was that of a pure shovel maiden.
“Shovel… Shovel…” Lithisia came upon an answer. “Kiss…”
“Hrm?”
“I want you to shovel…kiss me.” Her cheeks were on fire. Lithisia had let her emotions take the wheel and actually requested a kiss!
“All right, I understand.”
“Shovel?!”
Alan held Lithisia at the waist and pulled her close, then brought his face near hers. The princess’s heartbeat drummed in her ears; this was the moment she had always dreamed of, all she had to do was wait for Alan’s lips and—
Clank.
She heard the sound of something rubbing against metal.
“Shovel…?” When Lithisia opened her eyes, she found Alan’s adamantine shovel near her lips. The miner had put his shovel before her and smiled kindly.
“A Shovel Kiss. In other words, you want to kiss a shovel, yeah?”
“…”
“If you’re fine with my shovel, feel free to use it as much as you’d like.”
“?!”
Apparently, Alan had confused her “kiss” request with a “Shovel Kiss.” Lithisia tried to summon the courage to tell him that wasn’t quite what she’d had in mind, but she couldn’t.
As for why, well, she also wanted to kiss his shovel. Its glowing metal head was so sturdy. Being able to kiss the tip of the shovel from which Alan fired his Wave Motion Shovel Blast would also make her extremely happy.
Consequently, Lithisia’s eyes sparkled when faced with the shovel. “Shovel…!”
In all senses of the phrase, it was too late for Lithisia. Just as she brought her lips to the metal head—
Peck!
Lithisia felt something hard against her lips.
“?!?!?!”
“Mm…”
It was Alan. His kiss was that of a man with willpower made of steel. Just like Lithisia, he too had brought his lips close to the shovel and he kissed the opposite side. This was his earnest attempt to translate her request to Shovel Kiss him; the two of them would kiss the shovel at the same time. One could describe it as a form of indirect kiss.
“…!”
It was burning hot. That was Lithisia’s first impression. She could feel Alan’s warmth through the shovel, and she almost passed out from the tremendous sensation. The Shovel Kiss felt like it dug everything out of her head.
“Whew… How was that?”
Tens of seconds later, Alan pulled away from the shovel and Lithisia gazed at him. Her lids drooped, and she could only muster out a single sound.
“Sho…”
“Huh?”
“I shovel you, Sir Miner.” Her body trembled with glee as her impressions of the moment bubbled over. “My first Shovel Kiss… Amazing!”
She collapsed. Even her reactions befit her status as a Shovel Princess.
✦ ✦ ✦
“She’s asleep…”
Lithisia fell fast asleep after being overwhelmed by her emotions. Alan rested her head on his lap as he gently caressed her golden hair and sighed. He had no idea what had just transpired, but there was one thing he knew: after that Shovel Kiss with Lithisia, he was filled with a warm feeling, a profound desire to hold the princess in his arms.
“That was an incredible kiss, Lithisia…” Perhaps what he felt at that moment was the feeling Lithisia described as “shovel.”
Alan continued to caress Lithisia’s head as he thought about this, thinking and thinking back on their kiss.
“So that’s what kisses taste like.”
On that day, Alan discovered that first kisses taste like adamantine.