Although he’d hurried because he thought he’d be late, Kaneki actually arrived before they were supposed to meet. He grabbed a seat on a bench, took a book out of his bag and started reading.
“Hey, you’re here early.”
Unusually, Hide got there early too.
“You too.”
“I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time! Did you read those magazines like I told you?”
Kaneki nodded at Hide, who was out of breath.
“Yeah, I read them. Over and over. I guess you’d like them back now …”
“Hold up, dude, they’re too heavy for me to take them back now!”
“Which is what I thought, which is why I didn’t bring them.”
“Smart as always, man!” said Hide. Relieved that his judgment had not been wrong, Kaneki put away his book and stood up.
Next, the two of them got on the train and headed to the music store where Hide wanted to go.
“Fully stocked as always.”
“Totally!”
Kaneki occasionally went to this music store with Hide. It was a small place but it had a huge range of CDs of all kinds, and you could tell they had a lot of love for artists.
Hide made a beeline to the CD he was after.
“Whoa, I finally got it!”
As he watched Hide, who was so excited about the CD and the bonus poster that came with it, Kaneki felt quietly envious. Hide’s emotions were very clear-cut and he seemed to take a lot of enjoyment from life. Kaneki wondered what life would be like if he were like Hide.
“Man, I want to open it now!”
“Huh? No, wait until we get home.”
“But I’ve waited so long already!”
Eventually Hide dragged him into a nearby café, where he sat down without ordering anything and gleefully tore at the plastic wrap like a child. Not knowing what else to do, Kaneki ordered a black coffee for himself and a cappuccino for Hide, then looked up at the TV hanging on the wall of the café. Hide was busy reading the lyrics from the CD’s insert.
“Do they give a Japanese translation for the lyrics?”
“No, just English.”
He squinted at the lyric sheet. Their coffees arrived, and Hide drank his cappuccino in one gulp before looking back at the insert.
“Do you understand the lyrics?”
“Mm, sort of.”
Hide’s better at English than he seems. He loves music in English so much that he started studying so he could understand the lyrics, but now his hobby is all-consuming.
Kaneki took a sip of his coffee and pulled his book out of his bag, so as not to disturb Hide.
“I think I’m gonna cry …” Hide said, a few minutes later, putting his hands to his eyes. He seemed to have finished doing the Japanese translation.
“Are the lyrics that good?”
“Yeah, but I just realized again that the album’s finally here, and it got me all emotional again …”
“Right …”
I’ve never seen him look this happy, Kaneki thought. A fleeting glance at the TV caught his attention.
“ … ward is also thought to be a Ghoul-related incident, but …”
“Ghouls are at it again, huh?” Hide muttered.
There are creatures in this world that eat humans, and we call them Ghouls, but despite the nonstop news about them, I’ve never gotten the chance to see one.
“There are guys whose job is to exterminate Ghouls, right? So what happens when they put themselves out of work?”
“But these Ghouls are superstrong, man. And they’re supposed to be pretty hard to track.”
“I guess that’s why they need pros.”
When he thought about the victims, a spark of anger ran through him. The world would be better off without such dangerous creatures.
“You never know, man, there could be 500-foot-tall Ghoul and humanoid robots battling it out somewhere every night for all we know.”
Hide’s thoughts were, as usual, on their own track.
“Hide, you’re too old to be watching that kind of crap.”
“I don’t anymore! I mean, I used to … I just think giant robots are really cool!”
“Sure, dude,” Kaneki laughed.
Hide bit his lip, hesitating. “I mean, you’re one to talk.”
“Me?”
“That book. Takatsuki whoever, that writer you like.”
Kaneki loved reading, but his favorite author by far was Sen Takatsuki, who was often called a genius of the horror-mystery world for her masterful writing and the precision of psychological detail in her works.
“I mean, there are monsters in those books, right?”
“No. Takatsuki depicts the ugly side of humanity in a vivid, realistic way, and although there are some characters called ‘monsters’, they are still humans, not …”
“All right, all right! I’m sorry I said anything!”
Hide stopped Kaneki just as he got started. I guess he thought I was going to go on for a while.
“You should try reading one,” Kaneki said, but Hide refused.
“No, man, the books you like just go over my head. Manga’s better than books anyway.”
“O tempora, o mores! The youth of today, honestly …”
“Honestly what? You’re a youth of today, too, you know! I mean, when I think about how I threw out even my favorite manga, it makes me wanna sob.”
“But you didn’t sob when you threw it away, did you?”
“Shut up, dude.”
As they bantered back and forth, Kaneki looked back up at the TV. The news anchor was saying that this incident seemed to be the work of a Ghoul with a big appetite. Ghouls are terrifying, even beyond what they do to their victims, Kaneki thought.
“Takatsuki’s novels make me realize that humanity is full of sin.”
Hide sighed and rested his head on his hands.
When they finished hanging out at the café, they headed back to their neighborhood.
“Oh, I meant to ask, can I come over to pick up those magazines I lent you?”
“Now?”
“Yeah, I think I’m just going to go home in a bit. I’m seeing Yu later.”
“Right.”
Kaneki sighed. They walked to the Asaokas’ house together.
“Hey, man.” Once they got close to the house, Hide seemed to have something he wanted to say. “You didn’t, like, try to memorize those articles in the magazines I lent you, right?”
“Uh, no? Why would …”
“You just seemed a little out of it this week.”
A sense of relief washed over him instantly. The cause, of course, was not the magazines. It’s because my aunt is ignoring me and I’m drowning in melancholy.
Kaneki didn’t know what expression his face should have, and he looked down.
“You’re so serious, man. You know, you don’t have to give everything your all,” Hide said, mock playfully, trying to lighten the mood. Kaneki gave a vague smile.
“You’re right,” he said, eventually.
“Memorization burns you out …”
Suddenly the mood did feel a little lighter. Just sharing this moment, this feeling with someone else, instead of dealing with it alone …
“Just wait here, I’ll go get the magazines,” Kaneki said, feeling embarrassed as they approached the door to the Asaokas’ house. But when he opened the door, something unbelievable happened.
“Welcome home.”
He’d never heard those words come out of his aunt’s mouth before. He had taken off his shoes and started heading for his room when she emerged from the living room. Confused by her clearly changed attitude, he stuttered. “I just got home …”
“I tidied your room.”
“What?”
She did not grin or say anything else. She simply returned to the living room. Although he didn’t understand what she meant, Kaneki said, “All right” and went to his room.
Maybe she’s changed her mind and she’s trying to reach out to me now. Mom always said, if we refrain from blaming others and remain sincere, understanding will eventually come.
But he couldn’t see anything that convenient happening any time soon. Still uncomprehending, he opened the door to his room and went inside.
He exclaimed in surprise.
And he froze on the spot. His bookshelf, which had been filled with all his favorite books, was now empty.
He was stunned into silence. He looked, disbelievingly, at where his books should be, but there was nothing there. Before he understood what had happened, he began to tremble. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead.
“Why?”
Kaneki moved like a shot. He felt around in the corners of the room and looked under the shelf, thinking they must be somewhere, but they were not.
He remembered what his aunt had said.
“Hey!”
He ran out of the room and rushed to the living room, where his aunt was. She looked annoyed.
“Where are my books?”
“I put them out with the recycling.”
The words were like a blow to him. With each pound of his heart the terrible pain in his head grew.
“There were magazines practically bursting out of your room, you know. So I put everything together. There were so many books I had to be careful not to leave marks on the floor when I dragged the bag out of there,” she said, turning back to the TV.
“But those books were important to me …”
“Oh, were they? I’m sorry.”
No matter how pained his voice got, his aunt would not give him a second glance. It was like his voice didn’t reach her. No matter what I do, it’s useless.
Kaneki, who had to walk on eggshells just to be able to live in this house, was in so much pain he wanted to cry.
When Kaneki came out of the house, the look on his face made Hide raise his eyebrows.
“Kaneki? What happened, man, you’re pale as a ghost!”
He wiped the sweat from his brow and began to explain what had happened.