“I’ve got it!”
“Okay, I’m all ears.”
“We’ll ask Royalteach for advice!”
“How about you stop making my brothers do all the work?”
Kai paid no mind to Jun’s potshot. Right beside him was a girl in tears, so he’d do whatever it took to help her.
Mr. Prince, aka Royalteach, was a gamer so hardcore that he earned even Kai’s respect. He wasn’t just a Monster Hunter Let’s Player known online as jyunjyun1203 (shortened to JJ), he was a longtime expert in games from every genre and system under the sun. A youngster like Kai might not have the answer they needed, but Royalteach certainly would.
“Let’s see...” Kai started typing on his phone. “My apologies for bothering you when you’re certainly busy, but I have a question I wish to ask...”
Kai gave it a shot by sending several messages in the LINE group shared between the two of them and Jun. Not soon after, his messages were marked as read. That was a good sign; Royalteach was paying attention to his phone.
A good sign, but it didn’t seem to lead to a response.
“Um, is Royalteach actually busy today?”
“Now that you mention it, I think he said his staff meeting would last a while...”
“Then tell me that beforehand!”
Well, that was bad timing. Kai couldn’t blame Royalteach for leaving him on read if he was still on the clock.
“Apologies for the bother, I’ll ask another time,” typed Kai. But before he could hit send, a message from Jun popped up.
“Broyalty, pretty please?”
“Hmm, I recommend Ultimate Chicken Horse,” responded Royalteach immediately.
Kai wished Royalteach had just answered in the first place, but either way, he got the info he needed. For that, he was grateful.
“But I’ve never heard of that one before...”
“Looks like it’s a Switch game.”
“1480 yen?! Damn, that’s cheap!”
The two of them did their research on their smartphones before Kai quickly purchased a digital copy. He might have called it cheap, but 1500 yen for a single party game still hurt. Then again, games had replay value, so it certainly beat out something like a karaoke trip for the price.
“Don’t sweat the price. We’re both treating her, so I’ll go dutch with you later.”
“Don’t call it a ‘treat.’”
“We’re both whaling for Hotey.”
“You’re making it worse!”
That was enough whispering for now, so Kai and Jun returned their voices to their normal volumes.
“Pardon, Kotobuki, but would you perhaps like to try this game? I’ve yet to try it myself, but it appears fun.”
“My bro said it’s super good!”
The two invited her to play with full, warm smiles.
“...My apologies for causing you concern.” Kotobuki still sounded a bit glum, but she was mature enough to not spend all night pouting and throwing a tantrum. Each person took a Joy-Con separated from the main console and played while referencing the online manual.
Ultimate Chicken Horse was a party platform game for up to four players. You could play as either a chicken, a horse, a raccoon, or a sheep. The designs for the critters were all charming, but still somewhat goofy, making them a hit with girls who love cute things. The gameplay was simple: players raced each other to the goal within a stage small enough to fit on one screen, making it a good fit for Kotobuki.
The twist was that after each round, every player could choose one obstacle, trap, or platform to add to the level. Then the race began anew, with the difficulty of reaching the goal rapidly rising each round. Eventually, players wound up with a stage so unfairly hard you’d think they were only beatable in a TAS. It puts players in the dilemma where they need to block their opponents from reaching the goal, but can’t score any points if they themselves can’t reach it either. You could say that the key to victory was to strategically place objects to create a difficulty that you could overcome but your opponents couldn’t. But as a party game where the best-laid plans of chickens and horses clashed, things often went awry. In the end, it was about being a nuisance to other players while occasionally making it to the goal through sheer dumb luck; it was an undeniably silly game, but in a good way.
“Quit it, Jun! Pointing a crossbow at that angle is just cruel! I’ll die!”
“I don’t wanna hear it from the guy who put a chainsaw right in front of the goal!”
“You two are monsters. This stage descends ever further into madness...”
“Bwa ha ha, all according to plan. I have the most points, so if none of you can reach the goal, I will be crowned the victor!”
“My, Miyakawa, did you hear what I heard? If we cooperate and create a level we can complete, we can stage a comeback ourselves!”
“Well, how could I say no to my dear Hotey?”
“My thanks for your placement of the staircase. Now I can avoid the chainsaw.”
“...So you say, Kotobuki, but might I ask why you elected to place spikes on said staircase?”
“Because I must exact my vengeance on Miyakawa after being eaten alive by that mysterious flower of hers.”
“Waahh, I’m sowwy, Hotey... I jusht wanted to kill Kaaaaai...”
If nothing else, it was a lively experience. There was so much unfair nonsense that they could only laugh at it. Once they looked at their trap-laden level, Kai started shouting.
“Okay, quit screwing around! We can’t even get to the goal anymore!”
“Forget that! Kai, you don’t get to blame us when you put traps everywhere!”
They all roared with laughter.
“Miyakawa,” asked Kotobuki in response to Jun’s brutal trap placement, “can you even reach the goal through these?”
“No way in hell!”
They all roared with laughter.
“Hey!” yelled Jun after getting ensnared by her own trick. “Who’s the jerk who put a trap in a sneaky spot like this?!”
“Told ya. Glad you’re getting a taste of your own medicine.”
They all roared with laughter. They laughed when they triggered their own traps. They laughed harder when their opponents did. They laughed when they worked together only to betray their partner moments later. They laughed even when they were the betrayed partner. Their laughter knew no limits. Even the smug and reserved Kotobuki found herself bursting into laughter every time she opened her mouth. Everyone enjoyed it together because the game was both absurd and absurdly difficult; one’s skill at action games had almost no effect on the outcome.
Kai was right to trust Royalteach. This was how a genius player welcomed a beginner into the fold.