“Whew, what a day...”
Kotobuki, now back in her room on her bed, buried her face in the pillow and talked to herself. She was fresh out of a hot bath and the cold mattress felt nice through the sheets. Now that she was completely drained, she reflected on everything that happened after school.
It was her first time going over to Kai’s house and she played her heart out. Together with Jun, the three of them played games and watched some recorded anime. The Nakamuras even fed her dinner. Like Kai said, his family was very laid-back; they welcomed Kotobuki with all smiles to help her break out of her shy shell. They were all a warm, pleasant bunch. Since Kotobuki stayed over so late, Kai’s mom even drove her all the way home.
She’d be lying if she said she didn’t have fun. She spent the whole night with the boy she liked, after all. But she couldn’t pretend that she was particularly reassured now that it was all over.
Uuuuugh, jeeeez, what’s with them? Why are they so friendlyyyyyy...
Kotobuki groaned as she pulled out her smartphone and looked again at the photo of the three of them sitting together. She created a copy where she cropped out the part with Jun, but she kept the original just in case. When Jun took that photo, she didn’t think twice about clinging to Kai, and closely at that. It made Kotobuki’s competitive spirit flare up enough to endure the embarrassment and cling to Kai as well.
And what was Kai’s reaction?
It’s true what they say. A picture’s worth a thousand words. That’s what makes them scary...
Kotobuki glared at her phone screen in displeasure. In the photo, Kai had a bashful look on his face as she and Jun clung to his arms. Next, she looked lower to analyze his body language. His right side was tensed in anxiety as she clung to him, while his left side that Jun clung to looked completely relaxed.
Ugggh, why does she get such different treatment? Nakamura, you jeeeeeerk! Kotobuki buried her face in her pillow once again and kicked her legs up and down.
On further reflection, maybe the self-consciousness Kai showed towards her was proof that he viewed her as the romantic interest of the two. Wouldn’t that make her the winner? Could she call the race so easily? Could she say for certain that he didn’t view Jun romantically?
She spent all night observing them, but Kotobuki still couldn’t say for sure. It wasn’t just the incident with the photo; every time Kai and Jun needed to have a conversation Kotobuki couldn’t hear, they made eye contact. They managed to communicate with just their eyes as if it were the simplest thing in the world. That was hard to pull off even with family members you’ve lived with for years, but did these two really reach that level after just a year of friendship?
Gaaaaah, uuuuugh, I’m jealoooooous. I wanna do that with Nakamuraaaaaaaaa! She hugged her pillow close (since she couldn’t hug a certain someone at the moment) and wriggled on her bed.
The real kicker happened after they had finished gaming. Since they were tired and needed a break, it was only natural for them to switch to watching anime. The three of them—Kotobuki, Kai, and Jun, in that order—sat on the edge of the bed. And right when the opening started, Kotobuki saw something outrageous: Jun suddenly lay down, with her head right on Kai’s lap! And Kai treated this act of pure anarchy as perfectly natural!
It was a lap pillow! A lap pillow! Who does that?! And right in front of someone else?! Does that mean she wasn’t even aware that she was showing off?! Is she all, ‘We’re always like this, what’s the big deal’?! Aaaaaargh, jeeeeeez, that’s beyond confidence, that’s being cocky!
Kotobuki gripped her skull and writhed around on top of her bed.
Are they seriously not dating?! They’ve gotta be kidding! They’re joined at the freakin’ hip! I bet they’re spending those five days a week flirting! I bet they’re going on stay-in dates!
Kotobuki sat up and whacked her pillow around out of frustration, but she soon settled down. She lay spread-eagled on her bed as she caught her breath. Then, she looked at her smartphone once again. At the photo of the two of them that she set as her lock screen. There was a part of Jun’s arm that she couldn’t cut out, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. She liked it. But it would only stay as her lock screen for tonight; by tomorrow, she would change it to some other picture. It’d be too embarrassing if anyone saw.
“I’m just a garbage insect,” sighed Kotobuki. She never had any confidence in her physical strength, but her mental strength was absolutely nonexistent.
And despite all that...I still don’t want to give up on Nakamura. I don’t want to back off just because I’ve got a tough rival.
As she stared at the ceiling, Kotobuki understood.
This was what it was like to love someone.
The realization made her so embarrassed that she turned beet-red, buried her face in her pillow, and rolled around like mad. She contorted her body and kicked against her mattress.
After a while, she started thinking anew. She reconsidered the evidence concerning Kai and Jun’s relationship. Could it be that they simply didn’t realize they were basically an item? Or could it be that Jun had realized it and was just good at hiding it? Or maybe they actually were just friends who were so close that they looked like lovers?
There was one thing she did know. Whether the feelings between them were that of friendship or romance, Kai and Jun had a relationship that was far from ordinary. As long as he had Jun, Kai wouldn’t be wooed by Kotobuki. Which meant that if nothing changed, her feelings wouldn’t bear fruit. Absolutely not.
“Then...what should I...”