“No, really—I’m honestly truly happy you make me homemade dishes,” Saito replied. Akane was known as a model-level beauty—at least when she kept quiet—and her cooking skills really did go far beyond those of an ordinary high school girl. Turning down her homemade lunch would leave Saito just asking for punishment from the heavens.
“O-okay… Well, as long as that’s how you really feel.” Akane averted her gaze and mumbled softly, shifting her hips slightly and fidgeting. “I worked really hard to make it for you…so you’d better eat every last bite—got it?”
Seeing the faint blush of pink spread across Akane’s cheeks, Saito found himself thinking she looks kind of cute. Frustrating as it was for Saito to admit, there were times when the expressions she showed had such overwhelming charm, it completely overshadowed the fact that she was supposed to be his mortal enemy.
“You could have stored them in the fridge for me to eat after I came home from school,” said Saito.
“It won’t taste as good if you wait that long! I want you to eat it when it’s at its very best!” Akane exclaimed.
“You wanted me to…?”
“N-not that I specifically meant you or anything! It’s just that—whoever it happens to be, I absolutely won’t allow anyone to ruin the deliciousness of something I made! At worst, they’ll end up in hell!”
“That’s harsh…” Saito mumbled. He didn’t believe in an afterlife, but if given the choice, he definitely preferred heaven over hell. And if it came down to it, he’d much rather have one of Akane’s carefully prepared lunches than a dry, store-bought sandwich from the school canteen.
As they walked down the empty hallway, Akane spoke up again. “There’s a special sale on eggs at the supermarket today.”
“We don’t have to keep chasing those sales. Our per diem from Grandpa is plenty generous.”
So much money was being deposited into Saito’s account that even he was a little freaked out by it. It was possible that his Grandpa Tenryu, the head of the Houjou Group, simply didn’t understand what the standard of living for regular folks was like. Akane raised her index finger and spoke.
“When we’re adults, we’ll be living off of our income alone. It’s not good to get used to luxury.”
“You’re such a goody-two-shoes,” said Saito.
“And?”
“I’m impressed,” Saito sincerely told Akane, who flinched in surprise.
“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, you know!”
“Good that I didn’t ask for anything, then.”
“I-I mean…if you really insist, I guess I could go whip up one more dish for you in the home economics room…” muttered Akane.
“You’re giving out rewards now? You truly don’t need to go that far.”
“Then, what…? What did you want…? If you asked for, like…my body or something, that’s obviously out of the question…” said Akane.
Akane stepped back, guarding herself with both arms, and glared up at him like a frightened little animal.
“Who the hell would even want that?!” exclaimed Saito. He broke into a cold sweat, worried that other students might have overheard their conversation.
“Anyway, I’m going to that sale. I’ve got to redeem myself after the humiliation last time.”
“Yeah, we were beaten half to death,” added Saito, remembering.
The passion of housewives vying for supermarket sales was terrifying—no student couple could hope to compete. That said, things between Saito and Akane really had improved since then, so maybe that shared defeat hadn’t been all bad.
Crimson flames lit up in Akane’s eyes. “This time, no matter what it takes, I will win.”
“Let’s at least strategize wisely,” offered Saito.
“Of course, don’t worry about it. I wonder which would be more effective—pine resin or a beehive,” said Akane.
“Don’t go planning guerrilla warfare in a residential area!”
Now Saito was actually worried. It was probably just a figure of speech, but there was no telling what Akane might actually do when she lost her cool.
“You’re helping too, Saito. We’re meeting after school at the back gate.”
“You’re asking me out after school? I never thought the day would come!”
Akane panicked. “Don’t say it like that! We’re just shopping. For essen-thiall supplies.”
“You didn’t even pronounce ‘essential’ correctly,” Saito quipped.
“Shut up, I just bit my tongue a little!” Akane exclaimed.
“It sounded more like you bit your tongue completely off.”
As they were talking, the two of them had arrived near the classroom of 3-A. Akane placed her hand on the door and turned to look at Saito.
“Okay, from here on out, we’re strangers. No one can know we’re married. Got it?” said Akane, impudently sticking out her tongue and squaring her shoulders before walking into the classroom.
She was still like a stray cat that refused to warm up to people. And yet, Saito had started to realize in recent days that life wasn’t so bad spent with the girl he once couldn’t stand.
Lunchtime had come, and as Saito was opening his bento at his desk, his cousin Shisei came running over.
“Ani-kun, I’m hungry. Gimme your whole lunch!”
“You really can go from zero to outrageous in no time,” said Saito, exasperated. “There wasn’t a shred of hesitation.”
“Why would there be?” Shisei nodded in agreement.
“Nor was there any guilt,” added Saito.
“Of course not.”
As Shisei reached for his rolled egg omelet, Saito grabbed both her hands, blocking her from getting any closer to his lunchbox. Two beasts, locked in a primal struggle. The classroom was suddenly a battlefield.
“If you don’t let me take your lunch, I’ll starve to death! As my Ani-kun, it’s your duty to supply your family with food!” exclaimed Shisei.
“Shise, you already stuffed yourself to death at breakfast, correct?”
“I had three bowls of rice.”
“See? You eat even more than I do,” said Saito.
“That was then, this is now.”
“No, it’s not! You brought your own lunch from home too, right?”
Shisei’s parents understood her outrageous appetite. To prevent the unlikely-but-not-impossible chance of her being lured away with food by a stranger, they always made sure she had proper meals.
“I did. But what I, Shise, want to try is…that lovingly made lunch your wif— mmggh!”
Just as Shisei was about to blurt out “wife,” Saito swiftly clamped his hand over her mouth and, in one fluid motion, locked her in a wrestling hold from behind. Shisei plopped herself down on Saito’s lap, letting out a satisfied sigh through her nose. Saito leaned in and whispered in her ear.
“I told you not to say stuff like that.”
“Whatever do you mean? I, Shise, have a terrible memory.”
“Liar…” said Saito.
Nobody from the Houjou family could ever have a bad memory. Shisei always got perfect scores on math tests—and finished them in five minutes before taking a nap. Saito still remembered the time when she started eating a melon bread during the test, and he didn’t know how to react.
Seated on his lap, Shisei turned to face Saito, bringing her small hands to her mouth, eyes glistening like jewels. She whispered sweetly, in an unbearably adorable tone.
“Annniiii-kuuuuun, Shise wants to eat.”
It was Shisei’s ultimate begging pose.
“Gah…”
Even Saito, who was used to his cousin’s otherworldly charm, couldn’t help but flinch. Their classmates, who had no immunity to her wiles, had their spirits shattered in an instant.
“Poor Shisei-chan.”
“Come on, let her have a bite at least.”
“Just give her the whole thing already.”
“Hogging it all for yourself—Saito-kun, you’re a monster!”
Criticism rained down on Saito from every corner of the classroom from boys and girls alike. Saito couldn’t understand it—all he was doing was trying to protect his own lunch. What infuriated him even more was the sight of Shisei flashing him a victory hand sign that no one else could see. Usually, Saito wouldn’t have minded sharing his food with Shisei. But this lunch was special—it had been made by Akane specifically for him, hand-delivered to boot. On top of that, Akane kept glancing over at him from her seat. If he were to give her this homemade lunch to Shisei, who knew what kind of war zone would await him at home? He wanted to maintain peace in the household as much as possible.