Just one bite… That should be okay, right? With that thought in mind, Saito shot Akane a meaningful look. Akane tilted her head in confusion. Clearly, his message had not gotten across at all. Even between husband and wife, there was no such thing as telepathy.
As Saito struggled with what to do, Himari peeked into his lunchbox.
“Hmm? Saito-kun’s lunch…is the same as Akane’s, isn’t it?”
Saito and Akane froze. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch as he forced himself to stay calm.
“Wh-what are you talking about? No way that’s true. It’s just an optical illusion. Like…you know, when you see a mirage in the desert. That kind of thing,” explained Saito.
“It’s not a mirage,” said Himari. “The way the food’s arranged and the size of the lunch boxes may be different, but the food inside is exactly the same.” Himari placed both hands on Saito’s desk and stared intently at his lunch.
Their classmates buzzed with excitement.
“Whoa, she’s right! Nice catch, Himarin!”
“What’s going on here?”
“Don’t tell me it’s homemade…by Sakuramori-san?”
“Are they, like, dating?”
Dozens of eyes darted toward Saito and Akane. Akane’s face flushed all the way to her neck as she shouted, “We’re not dating!”
“Really? But your face is bright red,” said Himari, looking genuinely puzzled.
The rest of the class was abuzz with curiosity.
“This is what my face normally looks like,” insisted Akane.
“If you were born that red, that’d be a serious condition. And besides, it’s not even true,” said Himari.
“O-oh, actually, it’s blood… I just…committed a crime,” said Akane.
“Let’s turn yourself in. If you do it now, the sentence will be lighter.”
“I’ll go with you,” said Himari, taking Akane’s hand with determination. Saito couldn’t help but think she really was the perfect best friend for Akane, but this was no time to be impressed. Akane had been backed into a corner, and there was no telling what she might do in her panicked state.
“In any case, we are absolutely not dating!” declared Akane, slamming her hands on the desk.
“Yes, yes, that much is completely true,” added Saito, backing her up.
Technically, we’re already married!
There wasn’t a shred of romance between them, nothing they needed to hide. They hadn’t even kissed, let alone anything more intimate. Akane and Saito were just two students who happened to be married.
“Still, it’s kinda suspicious.”
“Saito and Akane always kinda seemed like a married couple.”
“And matching lunches? That’s the smoking gun!”
Their classmates showed no signs of easing their interrogation.
“Well, you see…” Saito, preparing to show the class the kind of brilliant argument only the top intellect in the grade could make, suddenly noticed something odd—the bento box in his hand felt unusually light.
He looked inside. It was completely empty.
On his lap, Shisei sat with her cheeks puffed up like a squirrel, quietly chewing away. Saito was now certain—the culprit hadn’t gotten far.
“Didn’t I say you could have just one bite?”
“Nom nom? Om nom, om nom nom.” Shisei was mumbling with her mouth full.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full. Wait until you’re done eating,” scolded Saito.
“Nom,” said Shisei, gulping down the food that had filled her cheeks to the brim. Then, she took Saito’s thermos bottle, drank all the tea, and let out a big sigh.
“Aaah! I said that was one bite,” said Shisei.
“Are you some kind of monster?” asked Saito.
“I won’t deny being beyond human comprehension.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me…”
Saito, having grown up with Shisei, knew full well she was an ordinary human.
Shisei leaned in and whispered to him. “You should be grateful. I destroyed the evidence for your sake, Ani-kun.”
“Really?”
“Nah. I just wanted to eat it,” said Shisei.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Saito let out a sigh.
Still, Shisei had technically saved him, so Saito gave her a pat on her head.
After lunch, Saito and Akane slipped away from the prying eyes of their classmates and snuck into an empty classroom for a two-person emergency meeting. Unless they came up with a countermeasure fast, their school life could be in jeopardy. Akane leaned her elbow on the teacher’s desk and held her head in her hands.
“I was careless. I even rearranged the side dishes just in case, but to think they’d still figure it out… Himari’s intuition has always been oddly sharp,” said Akane.
“Surprisingly sharp… I guess it makes sense since she’s always hanging around with a bookworm like you,” quipped Saito.
“Don’t call me a bookworm!” Akane protested with teary eyes.
“Point is, it’d be really bad if people found out we’re living together,” said Saito.
“If they found out we’re married on top of that, it’d be total chaos. Who knows what’d happen with our school reports.”
“The upshot is that it’s not like we’re in some kind of inappropriate situation or anything. If our families officially explain, we might be able to smooth things over,” said Saito.
Akane slammed her forehead down on the teacher’s desk. “No way. They’ll say it sets a bad example for the other students. I might even get expelled. Besides, my pride could never handle people knowing I’m married to you,” cried Akane.
“You really know how to hit where it hurts…” Saito picked up the shattered pieces of his pride and continued. “As for the lunchboxes, let’s just say we happened to eat the same frozen food, so we ended up with similar lunches. That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.”
“I don’t cut corners like that, though,” said Akane, lips pursed in a pout.
“Do you have a better excuse?”
“How about saying you snuck into my house and stole my lunch?” suggested Akane.
“No! I’d get arrested!”
“Just think of it as gaining life experience.”
“Like hell! If I get a criminal record, I could get expelled!” shot back Saito. “On top of that, the charge is so lame it’d be even more embarrassing.”
“How about saying that you and I went to the same cooking school?” suggested Akane.
“Cooking school? I’ve never done anything that legit. What kind of school are you talking about, anyway?”
“The Sakuramori Akane School of Culinary Arts,” she said proudly.
“The name literally gives it away. Everyone would know you taught me.”
Akane’s eyes sparkled with delight. “Ah, so you’re my disciple—basically beneath me. How about that?” said Akane with a smug grin.
“Not okay,” shot back Saito. “Don’t let your lust for power make you lose sight of the goal.”
Excuses work best when they’re simple. The more elaborate the setup, the harder it is to keep the story straight, Saito thought.
“Putting that aside, I think we should start eating lunch in the cafeteria for a while,” suggested Saito.
“You’re saying you don’t want to eat my lunch anymore?” fired back Akane, full offense taken.
“No, it’s just that after today, people will definitely be paying closer attention to our lunches. If we have the same side dishes again and again, they’ll catch on.”
“Then how about you just mess up your lunch so it looks totally different?”
“Would you be okay with that?” Saito asked, raising an eyebrow.
“If my cooking gets disrespected, I’ll be furious,” said Akane flatly.
“If it’s going to make you mad, don’t suggest it in the first place,” said Saito. “Anyway, the cafeteria’s the safest bet.”
“Fine.” Akane sighed. She raised her index finger, lecturing him. “But no junk food, okay? Even in the cafeteria, make sure you pick a proper set with soup and three side dishes. Don’t get yourself sick.”
“What are you, my mom?” Saito replied with a wry smile.