Chapter 1:
Homemade
AKANE’S HOMEMADE DISHES WERE LINED UP on the living room table, bathed in the morning sunlight.
Salmon grilled in tinfoil, mushroom miso soup, and Japanese seasoned rice pilaf with a variety of ingredients. It was a genuine meal, so it was hard to believe it was made in the short time between waking up and leaving for school. As Houjou Saito unwrapped the foil with the tip of his chopsticks, a wave of trapped steam escaped with a sizzle, carrying a rich aroma that signaled an authentic, high-quality dish. In Saito’s mouth, a juicy richness spread—different from the familiar taste of simple grilled salmon. The miso soup contained various mushrooms—enoki, shimeji, and nameko, offering a multitude of textures to enjoy. Every grain of white rice in the seasoned rice pilaf was infused with dashi stock, while the burdock root and carrots provided a pleasantly crisp bite.
“How do you like it? I’d like to hear your honest opinion,” Akane, wearing an apron over her school uniform, asked with a proud look on her face.
“The level of effort put into this is way too much for a simple breakfast,” responded Saito.
“In other words, it’s the most delicious thing in the world, right? Which means you admit defeat to me and will obey me completely, right?” said Akane.
“Why does eating a good meal mean I lose?” Saito mused.
“Isn’t it obvious? Even the dog that ate those millet dumplings became Momotaro’s servant.”
“I’m not a dog.”
“Sorry, my mistake. You’re clearly the monkey in that story!” Akane retorted.
“You little…!”
Even this early in the morning, she showed no signs of losing her sharp tongue. Her utterly condescending expression infuriated Saito.
Lately, she’d been showing a slightly more endearing side, but right now, that side of herself felt like nothing more than a dream or an illusion. As that thought crossed his mind, Saito asked Akane a question.
“The other day, you said it’s not okay for me to get too close to other girls when I already have a wife. What did you mean by that?”
Akane startled and dropped the miso soup bowl, but Saito caught it just in time before it hit the table. The carefully prepared meal had almost ended up drenched in miso soup, but disaster had been averted.
“Wh-what did I mean by that?! What do you mean by that?” Akane responded, her eyes spinning in confusion and sweat dripping down her face.
“Exactly what I said…I just want to know what you truly meant when you said that.”
“Th-there’s no hidden meaning or anything! I don’t even know why I said it…! What did you think I meant by that remark?!”
“I-I don’t know…” Saito blurted, realizing he had asked an embarrassing question.
“I just, um…right. I…must have meant that if Grandma and the others saw you getting too close with other girls, we’d lose the reward for our marriage. That’s gotta be what I meant. Right!” said Akane.
“Ah, I see… I’ll have to be careful, then…” said Saito.
“You better be! You can be such an idiot sometimes.”
Akane crossed her arms and turned away, her earlobes burning red.
After all, the two of them had only gotten married for their own personal reasons, not for love. While their household environment had greatly improved through constant discussion and compromise, their relationship still wasn’t exactly romantic. Saito, feeling despondent, reflected on how he had overanalyzed Akane’s trivial words.
Akane suddenly smacked the table with a sense of urgency. “Actually! There was something I needed to interrogate you about!”
“Interrogate…?” Saito knew whatever was coming wasn’t going to be a simple question—the atmosphere suddenly felt more like the setup for some kind of medieval torture session.
“So, the parsley I was carefully growing in the garden…? This morning, it was gone… You didn’t mistake it for a weed and pull it out, did you?”
“Oh, you planted that? I saw something growing, figured it was nutritious, and ate it,” answered Saito.
“You…ate it?! When?! How?!”
“Just last night. Raw.”
Akane was stunned.
“Raw? Are you a rabbit? A cow? I was growing the parsley so I could use it for some Italian dishes!”
“Once it’s in your stomach, it’s all the same, right?” said Saito.
“Not at all!” exclaimed Akane.
“It was pretty bitter…”
“Of course it was! Speaking of which, the green onions and herbs I was growing have also gone missing… Don’t tell me you ate those too?”
Saito put his hands together in a prayer-like gesture. “They were delicious. Forgive me.”
“You’re basically a wild animal!” Akane held her head in her hands.
Believing that attentiveness to one’s partner was crucial in married life, Saito spoke up, concerned. “Is your head hurting? If you’re not feeling well, perhaps you should rest a bit more before going to school…”
“My head hurts because of you! This is why geniuses are so troublesome…you don’t understand food at all…come to think of it, even the rice porridge you made for me back when I was bedridden tasted strange…”
“I didn’t put anything unusual in it. I did add plenty of supplements to help you recover faster, though,” said Saito.
Akane looked at Saito, her eyes lifeless.
“I figured as much. It had been a while since someone made porridge for me, so I didn’t complain at the time…”
“But did it taste good?” asked Saito.
“I just told you it tasted strange,” replied Akane.
“You’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t want to get used to it,” said Akane.
“Soon, with a calm mind, you’ll come to accept it,” responded Saito.
“I don’t want to accept it! Chill out with your weird innovations! Just stick to cleaning up after meals!”
“Not possible. We agreed to share the housework.”
Akane tried to plead her case. “We should each handle what we’re good at, though.”
“Yeah, and I’m really good at cooking,” said Saito, giving a thumbs-up.
“Are you serious?”
“Absolutely. While you had a cold, I memorized about ten specialized books on nutrition. I have all the elements necessary for human transmutation in my head.”
“I’m not talking about nutrition.” Akane sighed in frustration.
Just as it seemed like the distance between them had lessened a bit, that day’s argument was as relentless as ever. Saito shoveled down his breakfast and made a hasty retreat from the living room.
As Saito walked down the hallway after arriving at school, the sound of loud footsteps thundered behind him. When he turned around, he saw Akane approaching, a furious expression plastered on her face. That was her “I’m going to kill Saito” face. Maybe she hadn’t aired all of her grievances that morning after all. Threatened, Saito quickened his pace to put some distance between them. But Akane picked up speed too, closing in on him. Soon, both of them broke into a light run, and a chase scene suddenly began to unfold in the school building.
“Wait! Wait!” yelled Akane.
“The heck I will! I’m not going to let you kill me!”
“I’m not going to kill you! But if you don’t stop, I’ll shoot you!”
“Shoot me? With what?!”
It was the first time Saito had ever received such a Hollywood-style threat. Knowing how serious Akane was, she probably hadn’t violated any firearms laws—but there was a distinct possibility that she had developed a weapon on her own.
Akane slammed a block-shaped object against Saito’s chest and he came to a stop.
“Argh… I’ve been… No, wait—I haven’t.”
Saito had braced himself for a heavy impact, but the attack turned out to be surprisingly gentle. What had been slammed against him wasn’t a blunt weapon, but a bento lunch box wrapped in a stylish handkerchief.
“Why didn’t you take your lunch with you like you’re supposed to? You left it sitting on the table!” Akane exclaimed.
“Oh…sorry, I must have forgotten.”
During the argument with Akane that morning, the bento lunch box had completely slipped Saito’s mind. He had an incredible memory, but when it came to everyday tasks, his precision was rather lacking.
“You forgot? Really? You just didn’t want to eat my homemade lunch, right?” said Akane, furrowing her brows.