In the evening, arriving at school, Lin Li walked toward the classroom.
"—Let me tell you, I was originally supposed to fail."
Walking up to the stairwell, Lin Li hadn't even heard Bai Bufan’s unofficial history yet, but he instead caught Wang Ze’s smug voice.
"I thought Senior Qian liked me, but in reality, she didn't like me at all."
"After I finished confessing, Senior Qian said, 'Wang Ze, why don't you take a piss and look at your own reflection?'"
"I was very heartbroken, but wanting to find out where exactly the problem lay, I prepared to do just that. In the end, my pants were down and I hadn't even pissed yet when Senior Qian suddenly changed her tune with a flushed face and agreed.
"Tell me, why exactly did I succeed?"
"?"
Zhou Baowei, who had been listening very seriously, instantly couldn't hold it in upon hearing this line. He stepped forward and choked Wang Ze's neck:
"You absolute moron! Wasting my emotions! Wang Ze, do you dare say these bullshit words in front of Qian Ying?"
"Delusion again, pure delusion. People always fantasize about things they don't have."
Zhang Haoyang also adjusted his glasses, nodding with disgust.
"Later on, I figured it out. The secret of my success is exactly the same as Naruto's." Ignoring his audience's slander, Wang Ze remained completely immersed in his own artistic world.
"Naruto? What the hell does this have to do with Naruto?" Zhou Baowei and Zhang Haoyang were stunned for a moment.
"Right."
"Right your mom!"
"It seems you saying 'right' just now was purely hitting the mark by blind luck." Wang Ze's voice carried an immense sense of superiority, along with a disdain for their ignorance, but he still lowered his tone:
"Let me give you guys a hint. All the girls in the Konoha Ninja Academy liked Sasuke, while only Hinata, who possesses the Byakugan's X-ray vision, liked Naruto, blushing and fainting the moment they met.
"Meanwhile, Neji, who similarly possesses X-ray vision, absolutely detested Naruto. Now think about Naruto's nickname, the dead-last, bottom-of-the-barrel. I can only say this much. Those who get it, get it. For those who don't, I can't say much more, it involves industry sec—"
Zhou Baowei, Lin Li, Zhang Haoyang: "?"
So it was actually a dangling rear trunk all along?
"Holy crap, what kind of Hokage Lao Ai is this?" Lin Li chuckled.
"No, but how come I remember that in the anime, during the hot spring episode, it was said that Naruto's was tiny and cute too?" Zhou Baowei raised a doubt.
"Not just that, I'm a manga reader. How come I remember that the one Hinata liked was the Raikage?" Zhang Haoyang also raised a doubt.
Wang Ze, Lin Li, Zhou Baowei: "(；☉_☉)?"
"What the hell kind of manga are you reading! The ones on forbidden doujin sites, right!" Lin Li laughed and cursed.
"Quick, give me six digits, it'll be useful for the weekend."
"Wang Ze," while the group here began debating which Raikage doujin was the most intense and powerful, Lin Li looked toward Wang Ze and teased:
"So you guys actually got together like that? Let me verify this with Senior Qian tonight."
"Whoa, don't, are you even human?" Wang Ze laughed and cursed, then lifted his head to look at the sky, the corner of his mouth curving into a Nike swoosh. The sour stench of romance was practically overflowing from his armpits:
"In reality, last night when I presented the flowers, Senior Qian immediately responded directly.
"The moment I pulled the flowers from behind my back, she instantly covered her mouth.
"When I handed them to her, she hugged me!
"Holy crap, she hugged me first, ME! She didn't hug the flowers, understand my meaning! Brothers, my soul straight up climaxed at that moment!"
It was plain to see that it felt incredibly good; Wang Ze was still closing his eyes and relishing the memory.
Lin Li's eyes widened.
Holy crap, so Wang Ze actually managed to secure it too.
Beside them, Zhou Baowei and Zhang Haoyang's expressions grew so twisted with "blessings" that their facial features were completely warped and ferocious.
As Qian Zhongshu once said:
> "The heart of an eighteen or nineteen-year-old boy probably contains more women than an emperor's three palaces and six courtyards, and his thoughts about women are filthier than a toilet. Yet at the same time, he is yearning for the purest, most beautiful love."
>
This was practically the true portrayal of these low-class spawn in Class 4.
Each spoke in a more mood-killing way than the last, but in reality, when they truly encountered pure love, they cheered "long live" louder than anyone else.
"Autumn really is a beautiful time. Long live, long live!"
Opening his eyes to admire the expressions of the trio, Wang Ze leisurely blew on the autumn evening wind, enjoying the colorful clouds on the horizon, feeling incredibly smug in his heart.
"Yeah, autumn is great. Just like romance, it's cool morning and night." Hearing this, Zhang Haoyang nodded, chiming in.
Wang Ze and the collaterally damaged Lin Li: "(；☉_☉)?"
The two exchanged a glance, nodding.
"You take the head! I'll take the legs!"
"OK!"
Zhang Haoyang: "?"
Following Lin Li and Wang Ze, Zhang Haoyang also left the single life.
His partner was the load-bearing wall of the Nansang Middle School Class 1 building. A very reliable partner; the neighbors all said it was dependable and stable.
"—Yamete! Baowei! We are supposed to be on the same united front, why are you messing with me too! It's breaking! It's about to break!"
"Haoyang, I only swing my fists toward the strong. Romance makes people lose their minds; they are no longer worthy of me taking action."
"Damn it!!"
After ramming him for a bit, they let the trio continue playing while Lin Li walked into the classroom first.
Having long heard the sounds outside from Lin Li executing an "Aluba" on Zhang Haoyang, Chen Yuying's gaze had been fixed on the doorway.
Normally, she would slightly conceal her gaze, but today she simply propped up her cheek, carrying an expectant smile, just watching him obediently like that.
After Lin Li walked in, he also headed straight toward Chen Yuying. As he drew close, he made a grand sweeping motion, then slapped his hand down onto Chen Yuying's desk.
The movement was incredibly fast as it swept through the air, but he killed the momentum right before landing on the desk, so it didn't make much of a sound.
Seeing this, Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan next to her both looked at Lin Li's palm with faces full of confusion.
"Flexing a ring? Ying-bao gave it to you?" Ding Sihan noticed the ring on Lin Li's hand and inquired.
"I didn't give it to him." Chen Yuying blinked, slightly pursing her lips as she looked up at Lin Li.
Then who gave it to him?
This ring was actually given to me by a master named System, sorry...
"I'm just a poser. I bought this myself because it looks cool. The school doesn't allow wearing them, so I'll take it off in a bit," Lin Li waved his left hand. "That's not the important part. Watch closely."
After Lin Li finished speaking, his right hand began rubbing left and right against the desktop.
"What are you doing?" Chen Yuying inquired with curiosity.
"Rolling a 'Stretch-Leg Blink-Eye Pill.'"
"My desk isn't dirty at all; you can't roll any grime out of it." Chen Yuying grumbled in dissatisfaction.
The "Stretch-Leg Blink-Eye Pill" was a medicinal pill rolled out of the bodily grime of Jigong the Living Buddha, capable of curing a hundred diseases.
This beautifully exemplified that old adage: When one person attains the Dao, even their feces and urine ascend to heaven—once you become an immortal, even the dirt on your body becomes a treasure.
Lin Li's palm gradually arched up, as if there really was something beneath it.
"Monitor, pry open my thumb and see what's inside?" Finally, Lin Li stopped his movements, tilting his chin to signal her.
Thinking about it, Lin Li felt it was necessary to give a guarantee: "It's not a prank."
There was no helping it; his credibility was simply too low.
Only after hearing the guarantee did Chen Yuying reach out to pry open Lin Li's fingers, subsequently letting out a soft "ah."
A tiny rose flower vase ornament.
It was very small, otherwise it wouldn't have been able to hide beneath his palm, but it was crafted very exquisitely.
It would never wither, and it was perfect for placing at school.
"You can pour a bit of perfume inside, treat it like a mini aroma diffuser." Lin Li said with a smile.
Although Chen Yuying had said she didn't need anything, it was very obvious that now that he had given it, she still liked it very much.
Humph, woman, your name is tsundere.
"Ooh ooh ooh—" Ding Sihan's teasing caused her cells to practically separate.
"Alright, Ding-zi, stop barking, you have one too." Lin Li's hand swept another large circle, then pressed onto the desktop to rub, rub, rub. Under Ding Sihan's expectant yet doubtful gaze, he opened it—two lollipops.
—Naturally, he couldn't give the exact same thing; this was respect for his girlfriend.
Tossing one to Ding Sihan, he tossed another toward Qu Wanqiu's position.
A direct hit to the head.
Lin Li analyzed Qu Wanqiu's mouth shape; she seemed to be asking him, "Are you working a shift?
He was attending school, what shift was he working.
"Only the two of you get candy, this is my favoritism toward you two." Lin Li said lovingly.
After speaking, Lin Li bent down, forming brackets at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, whispering to Chen Yuying: "Parenthesis, it's paternal love, so you don't get one. If you want one later, I'll conjure it for you again."
Ding Sihan: "I heard that!"
"No need, I still have plenty myself." Chen Yuying was currently pinching her little vase and tiny flower, answering with a smile.
Chen Yuying indeed had quite a lot of candy; normally, she was the one feeding Lin Li.
"How did you conjure it? Hidden in your sleeve?" What Chen Yuying was more curious about now was how this magic trick was performed.
Just the Master's ring, that's all.
"The Yu-Gi-Oh Wildshifter never takes off his mask, and a magician never reveals his magic." Lin Li wagged his index finger left and right, then used it to tap against the desktop rhythmically, changing the subject:
"When it's time to go to class later, remember to remind me."
"Understood." Chen Yuying nodded.
—Tonight's evening self-study wasn't purely self-study; Lin Li and Chen Yuying had to attend the first remedial session for the competition.
Having finished all the flirting that needed to be done, Lin Li returned to his seat.
Bai Bufan was slumped over his desk. Seeing Lin Li's arrival, he swallowed a mouthful of saliva, scanned the surroundings to ensure no one was eavesdropping, and lowered his voice creepily:
"Lin Li, don't you feel that going to school (shang xue) carries a massive sexual innuendo?……"
"The pronunciation of 'xue' sounds exactly like 'cunt' (xue), and there's also the verb 'shang' (to mount/ride). What the hell is this? The vast majority of us are still minors, so terrifying. This wouldn't happen to be a compliance test conducted on us by capitalists, right? I feel like this needs a strict investigation……
"Because I thought about the implications behind this, my hands are still shaking until now. No wonder I'm becoming more and more perverted, more and more unlike a human being. Capitalism, you guys won……"
Bai Bufan acted as if someone had moved his cheese.
"Dumbass." Lin Li decided to empathize with capitalism, delivering a sharp evaluation of Bai Bufan.
"I don't want to go to school!!"
Bai Bufan let out a decadent and dejected wail.
To be honest, Lin Li was already used to it; almost every Sunday evening and Monday morning, he could hear similar dog barking from Bai Bufan.
One could only say it was basic human nature.
"I only went to sleep this morning and set an alarm for noon, but it didn't wake me up. The moment I woke up, I discovered that I f—ing had to attend evening self-study. My weekend was robbed of a whole half-day for absolutely nothing. After seeing the time clearly, my sky completely collapsed, damn it!!"
"Then that really is despairing," Lin Li smiled upon hearing this. "But who told you to pull another all-nighter? Rounding it off, you merely shifted the afternoon to the nighttime."
However, upon hearing this, the originally decadent Bai Bufan abruptly bolted upright, grabbed Lin Li's collar, and slammed him against the wall.
"Screw your mother! Lin Li! You still have the face to speak!" Bai Bufan descended like a bungee zombie, furious and ferocious.
"Wang Ze and I had almost finished coaxing Chen Tianming last night!"
"And I don't know why this bastard Tianming couldn't look on the bright side! He actually wanted to seek you out for some advice!
"In the end, because of those two sentences and one image of yours, his defense collapsed again!!"
"Wang Ze is an animal too; he found an excuse to return to his own dorm later, leaving only me in the end! Do you understand my pain! Do you know how many floors a bag of rice has to carry (Shinra Tensei meme)! How do you still have the face to speak!"
Bai Bufan's voice filtered out from between his gritted teeth.
Lin Li's expression grew solemn: "Bufan, there's food stuck on your teeth."
"Right next to that left incisor. Dumbass, it's my left, your right. Yes, yes, a bit higher, OK, it's gone."
"Don't change the subject!" Bai Bufan also tossed Lin Li away after utilizing him. "I accompanied Chen Tianming to drink six bottles of hard liquor and two bottles of red wine last night! My stomach still feels uncomfortable right now!"
"The hard liquor was AD Calcium Milk?" Lin Li sneered.
"Hehe, no, it was Wangzai Milk. I hoped he would flourish (wang) and lose that kid (zai). The red wine was Wong Lo Kat." Bai Bufan instantly wiped the anger off his face and smiled, rubbing his stomach. "Damn it, milk tea, milk tea, how can mixing milk and tea cause diarrhea—hey, screw your mother, don't change the subject!!"
Seeing Bai Bufan circle back to it, Lin Li scratched his head with a somewhat guilty conscience.
Regarding last night's matter, he was indeed a tiny bit underhanded.
"I thought Tianming came to flex, who knew he came to seek comfort……" Lin Li defended himself weakly. "You know, one of the reasons my win rate in gaming is high is that I predict and seize opportunities. I won't let others get the first strike……"
"A 'there?' opening line is bound to be a clown! You don't even understand that! What kind of prediction were you predicting!" But Bai Bufan refused to let Lin Li off the hook.
"I don't understand, yeah. I've never been a clown, you have?" Lin Li immediately shook his head innocently.
Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"
"Uh…… actually, I haven't been one either." Bai Bufan didn't dare make eye contact with Lin Li.
"However, that kid doesn't feel like he's in too severe a state?"
Lin Li's gaze bypassed Bai Bufan, looking toward Chen Tianming's position by the back door. He was currently sitting in his seat writing.
High probability he was writing homework, low probability he was writing a suicide note.
"Hey, Bufan, don't you feel that 'Since the confession failed, I'll jump down to give you guys a half-day off' is a very Chinese-style youth sentence?
"It aggregates friendship, romance, campus, carefreeness, pain, throbbing, puberty, destructive desires, Chinese-style education, and the search for value all in one."
Therefore, without waiting for Bai Bufan's answer, Lin Li suddenly spoke up again.
Bai Bufan: "……"
Occasionally, even he couldn't keep up with Lin Li's train of thought.
Lin Li would truly say absolutely anything just to get a vacation.
However, 111, Brother Tianming, are you really jumping? That way, his lost half-day of afternoon off would be compensated back.
"To be honest, I'm not sure either," Bai Bufan also glanced back at Chen Tianming, then shook his head:
"After I woke up, I discovered that his state seemed much better. Maybe Yao Qiaoqiao sent him some words again; anyway, he said he was fine himself.
"But, damn it, that makes me even angrier! By comparison, what did Wang Ze and I wracking our brains to comfort him last night count as?"
"Counts as you guys talking too much."
Bai Bufan raised a middle finger, then seeing Zhou Baowei return, he inquired: "Baowei, is there any leftover stomach medicine Lin Li bought for you? Give me a pack."
"Oh, there are a few packs left, I'll grab it for you."
Zhou Baowei nodded, unlocked his locker, pulled out the medicine he hadn't finished drinking previously, and handed it to Bai Bufan.
As for why Zhou Baowei's locker also had a lock, don't worry about it.
The hot water had presumably been poured beforehand; Bai Bufan began brewing the stomach-nourishing granules.
Hope it really nourishes the stomach, Lin Li prayed in his heart.
After praying, Lin Li stretched, preparing the few assignments that needed to be resolved tonight.
The evening self-study wasn't entirely gone, there was still a small half-period left. The only assignments Lin Li hadn't finished were the ones assigned on Friday—not many, and generally, assignments for days without classes on Monday were collected during Tuesday's evening self-study at the earliest.
Therefore, for Lin Li, assignments wouldn't become difficult to complete due to the remedial session; it was still very relaxed.
"Bufan." Suddenly, Lin Li looked toward Bai Bufan.
"Spit it out if you have to fart." Bai Bufan blew on the steam rising from his water cup, looking at Lin Li alertly.
"Do you think when you're twenty-three years old, you can earn six thousand a month?"
The question Lin Li inquired about seemed a bit nonsensical.
"Earning six thousand a month? Who the hell are you looking down on here! I will definitely have attained financial freedom by then!" Bai Bufan said disdainfully.
"The money has all run away, so it's financial freedom, right?" Lin Li chuckled.
Bai Bufan: "……Hey holy crap, Lin Li, your words are truly a bit hurtful."
"Hehe."
"So why are you asking about this?" Seeing no follow-up, Bai Bufan frowned.
"Nothing, just asking." Lin Li waved his hand.
Bai Bufan's gaze didn't shift; he boundlessly felt an ominous premonition.
Lin Li gave a reassuringly dismissive smile.
Right now, for the 23-year-old Bai Bufan persona out there, his monthly income was indeed set at six thousand.
When registering the information this afternoon, Lin Li had given it some thought. Setting it too high would look too fake—with this income and this level of looks, why the hell would he need to go matchmaking? Setting it too low probably wouldn't have any allure. Therefore, under the agent's suggestion, he fabricated a figure of six thousand.
After all the information and everything had been fabricated, the agent had actually said she could try to contact matches for Lin Li right then, but she was refused by Lin Li.
The prioritized method to complete the mission was naturally prioritizing the group activities; activities involved fewer hassles and were easier.
Moreover, contacting matches now meant they couldn't exactly arrange to meet up for dinner. Arranging it in advance was meaningless, and it might even require adding contact information to chat, which was a hassle.
Anyway, the mission had no time limit, so there was no rush.
Lin Li had also asked if he could bring people to the matchmaking activities, and the agent had said that as long as they paid, it was no problem.
Once that side confirmed when the activity would be held, she would notify him immediately.
When the time came, he would ask "Three People and a Dog" to see their opinions.
As for the remaining time this afternoon, Lin Li had gone to the Nansang Sports Center to swim for a bit, grinding a bit of the mission progress, and then came to school.
……
Evening self-study.
"Let's go." His shoulder was patted. Lin Li jolted slightly, turned his head, and saw Chen Yuying.
It was currently six-twenty, evening self-study had started twenty minutes ago, and six-forty was the time the competition remedial session began.
Walking over would only take a few minutes, but for the first day, they could indeed head over a bit earlier to check out the situation.
"Coward~" Noticing Lin Li's startled reaction, Chen Yuying laughed.
Lin Li remained silent.
Hehe, babe, I'm an immortal cultivator. The moment you stood up, I noticed. I deliberately pretended not to notice just to play with you.
"~~Cow~~ard~" Hearing this, Bai Bufan also slightly turned his head, letting Lin Li see his face while the Chen Yuying behind him couldn't, then scrambled his facial features randomly as he repeated.
Ignoring this kid's disgusting behavior, Lin Li began rummaging for paper and a pen.
"Help me hold my water cup, I'm going to wash my hands. Wait for me at the stairwell in a bit." Chen Yuying displayed the ink stain on her palm, then without waiting for Lin Li, quickly walked outside first.
"Okay."
Lin Li stood up along with Wang Yuezhi and Zhuo Yongfei, walking outside.
"Huh?" Lin Li frowned.
Because Zhang Haoyang, carrying a face as miserable as a dead horse, had also stood up after hearing the sound and turning back to see who it was.
"Haoyang, weren't you not coming?" Lin Li paused his steps, inquiring with curiosity.
"My mom." Zhang Haoyang's two words spoke volumes of his bitter grievances, letting out a sigh after speaking.
It seemed his will had been forcefully modified.
Therefore, Lin Li inquired: "Did your mom force you (ni ma bi de)?"
"Yeah." Zhang Haoyang nodded, "Said I must participate. Sigh, whatever, if I have to participate, so be it. It'll just be a one-round elimination anyway, at most wasting a bit of time."
Lin Li: "Your mom is too wicked for forcing you (ni ma bi ye tai huai le)."
Zhang Haoyang was just about to continue nodding in agreement, but subsequently stared fixedly at Lin Li: "……Lin Li, hiss—how come I feel like you're looking for an opportunity to curse at me?"
"Yeah." Lin Li nodded calmly, otherwise what else.
"Screw your mom!"
"No, all of my moms are very open-minded and respect my personal opinions." Lin Li smiled mischievously.
"How many moms do you even have?"
"Met more than twenty while playing Valorant."
"Deplorable retard."
"What about it, what about it, what about it."
"Is it time? So fast, you two wait for me a bit."
But subsequently, what the two individuals exchanging ancestral sentiments didn't expect was that when they reached the back door, Chen Tianming took a look at the clock hanging at the front of the classroom, and also packed his paper and pen to stand up.
"Tianming? What are you doing?" Zhang Haoyang and Lin Li paused their steps, simultaneously somewhat bewildered.
"I'm also going to attend the competition remedial session." Chen Tianming answered, concise and to the point.
"Huh?"
"I signed up too." He supplemented.
"When did that happen?" But the two grew even more bewildered.
Chen Tianming's mathematics was neither good nor bad, scoring just over a hundred and twenty during the last exam. But participating in a competition was actually a bit of a stretch for him.
"Over the weekend," Chen Tianming walked out the door, saying faintly: "Qiaoqiao is also participating in this competition. So after I found out, I looked for Old Man Jian over WeChat to sign up. He agreed, and even said my attitude is pretty good, it's the taking part that counts."
Holy crap, talk about double collateral damage.
Lin Li and Zhang Haoyang chose to maintain silence, looking at each other.
—This matter involved Yao Qiaoqiao; they had to speak with extreme caution, terrified that any random wording might cause Chen Tianming to drop little pearls and then jump off the building.
Originally, jumping off a building would only yield an extra half-day of vacation, but if it happened during a time when there were no classes in the evening anyway, wouldn't it be a wasted vacation.
Seemingly noticing that the atmospheric pressure had suddenly dropped, Chen Tianming smiled and waved his hand:
"Rest assured, say whatever you want to say, I've already seen through it.
"After reading a book at noon today, I am currently completely suddenly enlightened."
Chen Tianming pumped his fist to psych himself up, the smile on his face sunny, his spirit completely refreshed.
"Holy crap, what book? The chicken soup effect is this good?" Seeing Chen Tianming speak like this, the atmosphere instantly livened up a bit again. Lin Li and Zhang Haoyang were both somewhat curious.
Chen Tianming: "The instruction manual for an enema (Kaisailu)."
(End of Chapter)