The smiles on Lin Li and Zhang Haoyang’s faces instantly stiffened.
So what this guy was reading at noon was the instruction manual for an enema?
Well, reading that certainly could count as a profound revelation, a true opening of the mind, and other things.
After all, as everyone knows, an enema is a type of eye drop, and at the same time, it can be considered karaoke.
—As long as you’re backed up, using it makes everything OK.
Therefore, if a guy invites you to karaoke, he might not necessarily be asking you to sing. He might be trying to show you his luminous watch. Extreme caution is advised.
Lin Li and Zhang Haoyang exchanged a tacit look, their gazes slowly drifting down toward Chen Tianming’s lower half.
"Damn it, I’ve heard of people having a broken heart that feels heavy, but how does someone end up with a blocked large intestine?! Lin Li, how the hell do I comfort him? I really don’t know how to handle this!!" Zhang Haoyang stared for a moment, completely out of his depth. He lowered his voice, frantically calling for Lin Li's backup.
What kind of normal person uses an enema after a heartbreak? He must be sick in the head!
"Useless trash," Lin Li cursed under his breath. Zhang Haoyang couldn’t be counted on; it looked like he would have to handle this himself.
Fortunately, he had always been excellent at comforting others.
So, Lin Li reached out, patted Chen Tianming on the shoulder, and with a gentle smile on his face, spoke softly and warmly, "Tianming, forget about her. One day, she will leave your memory, just like the stuff that finally cleared out of you at noon. You will eventually cultivate new stuff, just like your heart will eventually hold another person you love."
"Tomorrow’s stuff will be smoother, without the need for an enema. Tomorrow’s girl will be more perfect, without the need for you to feel sad for her."
Lin Li’s expression was incredibly tender, his voice remarkably soothing.
Zhang Haoyang’s pupils dilated in pure shock: Holy crap, what a genius! Is this the charm of language? A true poet!
Chen Tianming’s pupils also dilated in pure shock: Holy crap, what a dumbass! Is this Lin Li's inner beast? Is he even human?!
Chen Tianming instantly snapped out of his funk. Feeling cursed, he smacked Lin Li’s hand away and laughed, cursing, "What the hell are you spouting? Knock it off. Rest assured, I only mentioned this to make a joke and let you guys know I’m really fine. Who in our dorm needs that stuff anyway? If someone is actually constipated, we can just go find Wang Ze."
"When I woke up today, I saw a message Qiaoqiao sent me, so I chatted with her for a bit."
"I realized that I really was pushing things too hard."
Chen Tianming was in the middle of his emotional reflection when he suddenly noticed the highly bizarre expressions on Lin Li and Zhang Haoyang’s faces. He froze for a second before realizing what they were thinking, frantically lowering his voice to protest, "Wait a minute! It’s not that kind of pushing too hard!"
Damn it, how many idioms in this world could still be used normally?
Why was everyone’s mind so incredibly filthy?
"Anyway, after talking, I feel like things haven’t reached a hopeless point yet. There’s still a chance for everything, so there’s no need for me to be depressed and miserable. Thanks for the concern, boys. Tonight I’ll treat you all to dinner, thanks." Chen Tianming continued once their gazes returned to normal.
Lin Li and Zhang Haoyang exchanged a glance. Since Chen Tianming could say something like this, he might really be back to normal.
"So what did you guys talk about at noon? Uh, also, what happened last night? Care to share? If you can’t, then forget it," Lin Li asked curiously. The three of them had already walked out into the corridor, so they could speak a little louder.
"There’s nothing I can’t say," Chen Tianming shrugged, having regained his confidence. "The summarized version is..."
"Don’t give us the summarized version," Zhang Haoyang interrupted. "Tonight, I had to listen to Wang Ze analyze his successful confession frame-by-frame, which completely disgusted me. It wasn't easy for you to fail, so I want to hear all the details."
—"If you have something unhappy to share, let’s hear it so everyone can have a good laugh."
Chen Tianming: "..."
Class Four was exactly like this.
When you were sad, everyone would truly comfort you. But the moment you started getting better, not a single one of them could maintain their human form.
"I really can’t be bothered with someone like you who takes pleasure in others’ misfortunes," Lin Li gave Zhang Haoyang a look of utter disdain. Then, hooking his arm around Chen Tianming’s shoulder, he used his butt to shove Zhang Haoyang aside. "Tianming, let’s keep talking."
He was going to find the Class Monitor in a bit anyway, so he wouldn’t even be able to finish listening to the detailed version. Zhang Haoyang really was selfish, what a scrub.
Couldn’t he just ask Wang Ze in the dorm tonight for the full version? What a blockhead!
"It wasn’t anything special. Last night, I prepared a surprise using a similar process to Wang Ze’s. But Qiaoqiao felt it was a bit too sudden, she wasn’t prepared, so she rejected me. After the rejection, it was too awkward for the two of us to keep walking around, so we came back to school early."
"I was a bit depressed, but with Wang Ze and Bai Bufan comforting me, I felt a lot better."
"Then I wanted to find... forget it, I won’t bring up an unlucky jinx like you."
Lin Li: "..."
"Then, when I woke up at noon, I thought about how I really was a bit out of line last night and planned to apologize to Qiaoqiao. To my surprise, when I opened my phone, Qiaoqiao had actually apologized to me first."
"She said she really doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now and isn’t prepared for that kind of thing..."
After saying this, Chen Tianming pumped his fist to cheer himself on, chuckling, "She also said that I’m actually a really good guy..."
"She hopes I get better and better, and said I could also go after someone more suitable for me."
"And just like that, I instantly revived. If she doesn’t want to right now, she will eventually want to in the future, right? So, I don’t think I can be considered a failure. This can only be counted as halftime. The future is still promising."
"I can afford to wait."
"I know what you guys want to say. Even if she only said I’m a good guy to comfort me, it doesn’t matter. Stand up from wherever you fall down. Failure isn’t scary; giving up after a failure is what’s truly scary!"
After finishing his slightly passionate speech, Chen Tianming noticed that neither Lin Li nor Zhang Haoyang was saying anything. He looked at them with some surprise, "Why aren’t you guys talking?"
"How am I supposed to comment on this kind of thing? I don’t understand it at all," Zhang Haoyang spread his hands.
He only wanted to hear about Chen Tianming’s utter despair last night. Who wanted to hear about how he picked himself up? Boring.
Chen Tianming looked at Lin Li.
"Well, since you’re really fine now, then brother will give you some heartfelt, soul-baring words," Lin Li patted Chen Tianming’s shoulder.
Chen Tianming’s pupils shrank slightly: Not good! A bad premonition!
But it was already too late. Lin Li began his lecture: "Tianming, do you know that in English, there are certain sentence structures and letters that are silent? Reading them requires technique. For example, 'hour'—its phonetic notation is /aʊər/, the 'h' is silent. Another example is 'I don’t know'—sometimes the 't' isn’t pronounced, and it just becomes 'I dunno'."
"Chinese is actually the same. Generally speaking, when a girl says 'I don’t want to be in a relationship,' the words 'with you' are silent."
Chen Tianming: "..."
Brother, you said you were going to give me some 'soul-baring' words, but you didn’t clarify that the soul you were going to bare was mine...
"Lin Li, how about you just pretend I’m still in a bad place and haven’t moved on yet." His lips twitching slightly, Chen Tianming then broke into a laugh and cursed, "Thinking about it now, I really was a cheap bastard last night. To think I actually wanted to talk to you. What was I thinking?"
"If it weren’t for you, I would have made it through a long time ago."
"Tianming, my personal suggestion is for you to follow what Yao Qiaoqiao said and switch targets," Lin Li also smiled. "But I figure you probably won’t listen, so just keep fighting. Keep it up. Your own happiness is what matters most."
Anyway, Yao Qiaoqiao didn’t seem like a particularly bad girl.
If Chen Tianming wanted to like her, let him keep simping. It was a mutual agreement of giving and receiving. With Bai Bufan and the others around, they would always keep an eye on Chen Tianming’s emotional state, so nothing major would happen.
Constantly being a doomsayer would only make him look like he had bad intentions, so Lin Li chose to motivate him: "Failure is the mother of success. You’ve already obtained failure. As long as you screw failure over, your success will arrive immediately."
"You finally spoke like a human being." The words were crude but the logic was sound, so Chen Tianming acknowledged it.
"Keep it up. Hey, look, my success is already waiting for me up ahead. I’ll head over first, bye-bye." Lin Li pointed at Chen Yuying, who was standing obediently at the corner looking at him, and then jogged over.
Chen Tianming and Zhang Haoyang exchanged a look: "...☉_☉"
Your mom! He did it just to flex!
They were going to stick voodoo needles in a Lin Li doll the moment they got back!
"What were you guys talking about?" Chen Yuying asked curiously as Lin Li approached.
"Talking about Tianming’s experience last night. But I haven’t asked him if it’s okay to share yet, so I can’t directly tell you for now. I’ll ask him another day, and once he agrees, I’ll tell you," Lin Li explained.
Although Lin Li felt Chen Tianming wouldn’t mind, this wasn’t something that could be decided by 'I felt.'
A simper was also a creature, a creature was also a part of the Earth, so the necessary respect still had to be given.
For a degenerate like Lin Li to have so many close bros he could joke around with recklessly, aside from his bros also being degenerates, there was another reason: everyone still held onto these boundaries.
"Oh, okay." Hearing this, Chen Yuying nodded and immediately dropped the subject.
They arrived at the multi-function hall.
Nansang High School had a lecture hall capable of seating an entire grade, but the number of students taking competition tutoring wasn't that large, so there was naturally no need for that.
The multi-function hall had less than two hundred seats, but whether it was the screen or the sound system, the configuration was much higher than the lecture hall. The seats were also cushioned chairs, which would be much more comfortable to sit in.
The chairs in the classrooms weren't even worth mentioning.
If a youth ended up with hemorrhoids, those terrible chairs definitely played a part.
The six students from Class Four automatically split into pairs and arrived at the multi-function hall one after another.
They arrived fairly early. The teacher hadn't come yet, and only about twenty to thirty students had scattered around.
A few desks were already piled with books and exercises completely unrelated to mathematics, looking like they had come straight here to start their self-study the moment evening self-study began.
"Class Monitor, doing self-study here feels pretty good too. We can try it out another day," Lin Li whispered to Chen Yuying.
Chen Yuying nodded first, then asked Lin Li, "Lin Li, should we sit in the front or the back?"
—Zhang Haoyang had dragged Chen Tianming toward the very back row without a single shred of hesitation, acting out of pure instinct without any brain activity whatsoever.
He was just here to slack off.
Because Chen Tianming didn't see Yao Qiaoqiao, he didn't struggle either and simply followed along.
Meanwhile, Wang Yuezhi had pulled Zhuo Yongfei to stay outside the door to discuss some study-related issues. In order not to disturb everyone in the classroom, they weren't in a hurry to take their seats.
Lin Li listened for a bit using his super hearing. The questions being asked were all basic problems.
With these two still researching this kind of stuff, their competition run was basically doomed.
"I’m fine with anything, up to you. If you don’t mind either, should we flip a coin?" While answering, Lin Li pulled out a coin and asked casually.
"Let’s sit in the front then," Chen Yuying straight up gave her thoughts. "If we sit in the back, I’m afraid you’ll pull some perverted move. If that happens, I’d be too embarrassed to call out, and no one would be able to handle you."
Lin Li: "?"
Lin Li looked at Chen Yuying, and Chen Yuying looked back with full confidence, showing absolutely no intention of modifying her description.
"You really have a sharp eye for reading people." Lin Li had no choice but to accept it.
The center positions of the first row were already scattered with studious types, and there weren't two consecutive seats available. Sitting on the side seats was unnecessary, so the two of them sat on the side of the second row.
Wang Yuezhi and Zhuo Yongfei just happened to finish their hearty academic research at this time. They walked into the hall and sat in the third row, right behind and to the side of the two, after which Wang Yuezhi stood up to get some water.
"Lin Li, you came too."
A boy who had just entered the multi-function hall automatically locked his target onto the best-looking girl in the classroom, Chen Yuying. However, after noticing Lin Li beside her, he immediately stepped forward to approach and greet him.
"Yo, Li Fen. Yeah, I came to join the competition too." Lin Li looked up, smiling after recognizing the guy.
"Tsk, how did you score first in the grade? Did you turn on cheats?"
"My Earth Online account hasn't even been banned, so how could I have turned on cheats? If it wasn't turned off, it doesn't count as cheating." Lin Li shrugged.
The anti-cheat system of Earth Online really was getting worse and worse nowadays.
Lin Li remembered that in ancient times, many existences who were born with cheats had their accounts banned.
For example, Huo Qubing, who definitely used cheats, had his 'Champion Marquis' account banned.
The Child of Destiny, Liu Xiu, also had his account banned multiple times.
"Damn it." Seeing Lin Li looking so smug, Song Lifen laughed and cursed, then waved his hand and went to find a seat with his classmate.
"Who’s that?" Chen Yuying asked curiously only after their conversation ended.
"Junior high classmate," Lin Li replied with a smile.
"Oh, okay, got it."
"Lin Li, I haven't really heard you mention your junior high before. Which junior high did you go to?" Chen Yuying nodded, feeling a bit curious.
"Sigh," hearing this, Lin Li’s eyes suddenly grew dim. "Because I was unwilling, I was despised, insulted, and hated by people during junior high. It’s a tragic past that I can’t bear to bring up. My memories hold nothing but darkness."
Hearing this, Chen Yuying propped her left cheek up with her palm, looking at Lin Li with a smile.
She would absolutely never believe this kind of talk, let alone show 'concern.'
Lin Li played the melancholy prince for a long while. Seeing no reaction, he gently nudged Chen Yuying with his elbow and urged in a lowered voice, "Quick, baby, ask me what happened. Don’t leave my punchline hanging."
"Fine, fine, fine," Chen Yuying nodded. "Then what happened during your junior high that made you so despised?"
"It’s all my mom’s fault," Lin Li slandered Wu Min once again. "My mom said that the wisdom of our ancestors warned us that you must absolutely never wash your hair on the first day of the new year, otherwise it brings bad luck."
"Class Monitor, you also know that I couldn't afford to take baths since I was a kid. With the two factors stacked together, it resulted in me being completely smelly throughout my entire first year of junior high. No one wanted to play with me. Although I could wash during the second and third years, I had already been isolated. There was no saving me."
Chen Yuying: "..."
"Then you really were quite filthy, you Filthy King." Chen Yuying couldn't help but burst into laughter, then said.
"Alright, the reason I don't mention it is because there's nothing much to mention," Lin Li spread his hands, revealing the real reason. "My junior high was called Mingshan. You've probably heard of it too. It belongs to the more average private junior highs. Not many people manage to test into Nansang from there."
"I only know two or three people, and it’s basically very hard to run into them normally. Class Monitor, speaking of which, what about you?"
"I was just at First Middle School."
"Tsk, a school I couldn't get into," Lin Li joked.
The reason Lin Li went to a private school was because the public school he could enter was Ninth Middle School. Generally speaking for public schools, the larger the number, the worse the quality. Parents with a longer-term vision would generally have their children test into private schools.
In fact, Lin Li could have gone to a better private school. Choosing Mingshan was because Lin Li had scored a half-exemption on the entrance exam—half of the three-year tuition fee was waived.
It could only be said that Mingshan got their money's worth out of it, since Lin Li really did test into Nansang High School three years later, becoming part of their track record.
And First Middle School truly lived up to its name. Among the people who kept trickling in, Chen Yuying really did recognize quite a lot of them.
Connections!
Lin Li felt a bit envious. After all, connections were truly important; if you severed them, you'd die.
"That girl is walking straight toward you. She should know you too." Lin Li, who was chatting with Chen Yuying, jerked his chin toward the door again.
This was already the fourth or fifth person she knew.
"Yuying, you came to join the competition too?" Sure enough, when Chen Yuying turned her head, the other party waved and exchanged pleasantries with a smiling face.
"Yeah, Tingbai." Chen Yuying nodded.
"Is there anyone next to you? If not, can I sit here?"
But different from the previous people, after finishing the pleasantries, Xiao Tingbai asked.
Lin Li’s eyes widened.
Accursed third wheel!
You should be like Song Lifen, a sensible classmate who goes to sit somewhere else! Don't you have your own classmates!
But since this was a public classroom after all, Lin Li could only complain about it in his heart.
"No one's here, go ahead and sit."
Naturally, it wasn't very appropriate for Chen Yuying to refuse.
As it turned out, Xiao Tingbai did have classmates, but she could drag her classmate to sit right next to her too.
"Yuying, is this guy your classmate?" After placing her paper and pen neatly on the desk, Xiao Tingbai noticed Lin Li and asked curiously.
"Yes," Chen Yuying nodded.
Hearing this, Lin Li cooperated by waving his palm at Xiao Tingbai.
"He's also my boyfriend." Before his hand could even complete a single wave back and forth, he heard Chen Yuying continue her introduction with a smile, "But don't go around telling others blindly~"
Lin Li: OVO!
Holy crap, could he actually be a simp? Otherwise, why did he feel completely thrilled from head to toe just from Chen Yuying introducing him like this?
Damn it, he really was a scrub. How could he be so weak-willed?
For Chen Yuying to tell this Xiao Tingbai, their relationship must be the pretty good kind.
"Hello, I'm Lin Li." So Lin Li introduced himself.
"Oh, hello, hello! My name is Xiao Tingbai!!" Xiao Tingbai froze for a moment before hurriedly responding.
"Yuying, when did this happen..."
Following that, Xiao Tingbai transformed into a gossip-monger and began to interrogate Chen Yuying.
...
"Excuse me, let me through, excuse me..."
"Whew—"
With classmates already sitting on the outer side, Wang Yuezhi spent a bit of effort before finally returning to Zhuo Yongfei's side with his water cup.
After glancing forward, he immediately knit his brows.
"Yongfei, look at this. Isn't this Lin Li going too far? His arm is extended so far over onto the Class Monitor's desk. Does he have any concept of personal space at all?"
"Also, just to chat with that girl, he straight up squeezed himself right against the Class Monitor! Did he do it on purpose or is he just sick in the head?"
"It’s really going too far! He completely lacks any sense of boundaries."
"If people didn't know better, they'd misunderstand what kind of relationship those two have..."
Listening to Wang Yuezhi’s lowered, bitterly jealous murmurs, Zhuo Yongfei remained completely silent.
"Why aren't you talking?"
Finally, Zhuo Yongfei reacted. He let out a long sigh first, nodded to Wang Yuezhi, and then took another deep breath, patting his shoulder.
Only then did Wang Yuezhi notice that Zhuo Yongfei’s expression looked very off, so he asked out of concern, "Hmm? Yongfei? What's wrong with you? Why did your expression suddenly turn like this, so sad?"
"Constipated?"
Hearing this, Zhuo Yongfei looked up at Wang Yuezhi, his eyebrows furrowing downward as he forced out a smile, carrying a slight vibe of absolute despair.
He took yet another deep breath—
"Yuezhi, I... I have a friend. He might... he might be about to experience a heartbreak."
Wang Yuezhi froze upon hearing this. The water cup in his hand hit the desktop with a clatter. Fortunately, the lid was screwed tight, so it wasn't a big deal, just a bit loud.
In this single instant, he understood. He understood everything. Old Wang understood it all.
When he snapped out of it, his eyes filled with kindness and care. Moving with extreme gentleness, he lightly patted Zhuo Yongfei’s shoulder:
"Yongfei, it’s fine. You will definitely... your friend will definitely make it through."
Zhuo Yongfei: "?"
(End of Chapter)