Several police cars drove through the night.
Although they received a report of a robbery, Yan Aosong was very unprofessional, driving slowly all the way, not in a hurry at all.
Even, in order not to disturb the residents late at night, even though he was out on a case, he didn't turn on the siren.
And he strictly obeyed traffic rules. Even though it was the middle of the night, as long as the road ahead showed a red light, he strictly stopped at the red light and went at the green light, even if the road was empty.
It's hard to imagine how many poor people would suffer unwarranted hardships because of this perfunctory attitude if Yan Aosong always handled life-and-death cases with this attitude.
If Lin Li saw this scene, he would definitely sigh, this is also a bad Demon Suppression Envoy corrupted by evil forces.
Finally, the leisurely Yan Aosong arrived at the destination, got out of the car, walked to the alley entrance the victim told him about, shone his flashlight inside, and asked perfunctorily: "Oi, is anyone there?"
"Yes! Yes! Sorry police! We know we were wrong! We surrender! We will never rob again! Arrest us, come and arrest us quickly!"
Hearing Yan Aosong's voice, five people immediately rushed out from the darkness of the alley.
The five people had dilated pupils, miserable expressions, and some were even crying.
As if they had suffered some huge psychological impact, covered in half-dry unknown liquid, seeing Yan Aosong's appearance was like seeing a savior. They rushed up one by one, hands together, hoping Yan Aosong would handcuff them away.
Yan Aosong sighed.
Very classic.
No longer shocked.
Meeting Lin Li was their bad luck.
To be honest, he originally thought Lin Li wasn't as persevering as Yang Liang said, thinking it was just a one-day novelty. But now, obviously, his 'thought' was wrong.
And, why exactly? How on earth did Lin Li manage to make these robbers look like they were robbed or even raped every time?
Wait a minute.
Yan Aosong frowned slightly. He suddenly noticed that the shape of the mark on the face of the leader, Huang Shan, was so strange?
So he leaned over and looked carefully for a while.
This is Yan Aosong: o.o?
This is also Yan Aosong: O.O!
Fuck, there's a dick!
That kid fucking actually put it into practice!
"Sigh, sigh. Sigh! Eh..." Yan Aosong covered his forehead, looked up in despair and sighed repeatedly, then looked at the few people resignedly: "Why are there only five of you, where is the person you robbed?"
"He already left. Oh right, sir, he asked us to give this to you. He said after you see this, you will know his identity."
Huang Shan hurriedly leaned in front of Yan Aosong, using his already handcuffed hands to take something out of his pocket and hand it to Yan Aosong.
Seeing this, Yan Aosong's colleagues couldn't help but turn their heads away to hold back their laughter.
Because, it was a pair of black silk stockings, but at least it was brand new, the plastic packaging was still there, not used.
Yan Aosong: "..."
This could indeed prove the identity of the Black Silk Hero.
But you motherfucker.
Lin Li.
You originally contacted me directly on WeChat to call the police, what the fuck are you doing this for?
Yan Aosong directly took out his phone.
[Yan Aosong: Cut the crap, hurry the fuck back here to make a statement!! Dongda does not allow anonymous heroes to appear!]
[Lin Li: Oh oh, bro, I'm in the bushes opposite you, coming.]
Yan Aosong: "..."
He suddenly understood a saying: the murderer always returns to the scene of the crime to admire his masterpiece.
Yan Aosong looked across, and sure enough, Lin Li trotted over.
He seemed to be running too anxiously, a stick fell out of his hoodie with a 'clang'.
Colorful, right now like a KTV disco ball, spinning and shooting colorful lights in all directions, very eye-catching in the night.
Yan Aosong: "..."
The joys and sorrows of people are not connected. The other Demon Suppression Envoys besides Yan Aosong turned their heads away and started holding back their laughter, while Yan Aosong and the five robbers seemed to recall the fear of being dominated in their memories, completely unable to laugh.
Taking a deep breath, Yan Aosong looked up.
Looking up at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle, just to keep the tears from flowing down.
"Uncle Yan, I'm here."
Lin Li hurriedly picked up the holy sword, stuffed it back into his arms, and ran over with much smaller steps.
Yan Aosong closed his eyes, pinched his brow with his fingers, and didn't respond immediately.
Waiting until the criminals were all detained in the car, he seemed to have recovered, swallowed a mouthful of saliva, and stared solemnly at Lin Li:
"Lin Li, the reason you didn't come here yesterday, couldn't be because this thing you bought hadn't arrived yet, right?"
Fortunately I didn't bring female colleagues out today, if I brought them out, my face would be completely ruined.
"There's a part of that factor." Lin Li nodded.
If the new weapon hadn't arrived tonight and he wasn't anxious to try it out, Lin Li might not have come here.
Yan Aosong covered his face and remained silent for a few seconds, then began to constantly tap his forehead with his palm.
My head hurts so much, could it be a brain tumor.
"Throw this thing away, hurry up, continue to use your telescopic baton in the future, just hold back your strength, consider it Uncle begging you." When Yan Aosong spoke again, his tone was already somewhat pleading.
Regret, very regretful.
Why did I explain this little knowledge about self-defense to Lin Li on Saturday night?
Yan Aosong really wanted to travel back to that time, give himself a slap, then use the black silk in his hand to cover his face, and secretly give Lin Li at that time two slaps, no, three slaps.
"Uncle Yan, even if you hold a high position, you can't arbitrarily control the property of us commoners, right?" Facing the unreasonable request of the Demon Suppression Envoy, Lin Li said weakly, trying to defend his rights.
"Is that so," Yan Aosong smiled, "Lin Li."
"Hmm?"
"I am now officially notifying you, Lin Li, after verification just now, your behavior of displaying and using sex toys in public places is suspected of seriously violating public order and good morals, come with us."
"According to the 'Xiling Public Security Administration Punishments Law', the punishment you may face next includes a warning, a fine, or even detention, and we may contact your parents then."
Yan Aosong sneered.
He really couldn't let Lin Li continue to use this thing. Yan Aosong apologized to the five robbers for his previous thought that "Lin Li is just joking and won't really do this, Yang Liang is also scaring himself".
It was he who harmed them.
Normal people wouldn't.
But this premise was a bit too harsh for Lin Li. It was one thing to require him to be normal, but it actually required him to be human.
Lin Li: "..."
Not good, playing dirty tricks.
"Uncle, wouldn't this be considered abuse of power? Heh—" Lin Li made a fist and pressed it against his nose, wanting to keep a serious face, but he laughed out loud first.
"Justice is in the hearts of the people. If you have objections, you can report it to the higher-ups, everyone will understand me."
Yan Aosong sneered, shook his head, and pointed to the body camera on his chest.
"Okay." Lin Li nodded resignedly, but then said: "But it's a bit a pity to throw it away. I bought this for over two hundred yuan, and it's newly bought. Uncle, do you want to ask if anyone present needs it?"
Lin Li pulled out the holy sword and looked at the other Demon Suppression Envoys present.
Everyone tacitly turned their heads away, their faces completely distorted from holding back laughter.
Everyone present is a fucking man, who needs this thing?
And even if they needed it, would they dare to say they needed it in public?
"No one wants it! Throw it away quickly!" Yan Aosong took the holy sword, knocked Lin Li's arm, and urged.
Not to mention, this thing actually hurts quite a bit when hitting someone.
"Okay." Lin Li nodded, walked to the nearest roadside trash can, and threw it in.
No reluctance.
Just throw it away.
Lin Li has always been an experientialist, wanting to experience many things.
Buying this was really just to experience what it felt like to hit someone with it. After experiencing it, he wasn't that enthusiastic anymore.
To put it bluntly, Lin Li is also a creature that cares about face. If there weren't no surveillance and few people here, Lin Li couldn't possibly really use it as a weapon.
Plus the length was too long, over forty centimeters, the current "Universe Ring" couldn't hold it yet, so he could only carry it outside.
On the way here in the car, Lin Li was also very vigilant, afraid it would fall out of his arms and cause social death.
So it's good that it's thrown away.
Seeing Lin Li really throw it away, Yan Aosong breathed a sigh of relief.
This child can listen to advice, there's still hope.
"Let's go, go back and make a statement."
...
[Keep up the good work... punish evil cultivators attempting to commit crimes and do evil, at least eight cases (3/8)]
The crime process this time was not as complete as the previous two times, because these five people were taken care of by Lin Li before they even left the alley, but fortunately the task was still completed.
It seems the next few times can be simplified a bit.
Because his weapon was forcibly confiscated, and it was getting late, Lin Li didn't continue fishing, and took a taxi directly home from the entrance of the Demon Suppression Division.
At home.
Having only been out for over an hour, the items on the list were still far from being downloaded, so there was no need to go to the immortal cultivation world tonight.
Opening his phone, the thread he posted earlier already had replies.
[Wind and Rain %: Original poster, original poster, recommend the best one to jerk off to that you've seen recently!]
[You replied to Wind and Rain %: Xi'an University of Finance and Economics, the admission score has been very low in recent years, it's considered the best Tier 1 university to aim for. There are still 8 months, there's a chance, good luck with the college entrance examination!]
(Translator's Note: "Chong" means both "jerk off" and "aim for/sprint towards").
[Wind and Rain %: ?]
[Wind and Rain %: Hate the original poster, bad people live a life of unrest.]
He didn't expect this person to still be online.
For the sake of wishing power, Lin Li smiled and gave a six-digit number ______, and the other party immediately changed their tune.
It was getting late. After replying to all the comments, Lin Li went to bed.
...
Laoyou Street.
Late at night.
An old man dragged a woven bag, the plastic bottles and cans inside making clinking sounds.
He headed towards the next trash can.
Tonight's harvest was okay, probably could sell for a little twenty yuan.
Already very good, after all, it's the off-season now.
Hoping there would be more bottles in this trash can, with this thought, the old man lifted the lid of the trash can.
Wow, gold... red, orange, yellow, green, cyan, blue, purple legendary!
The light inside was too dazzling, the old man subconsciously blocked his eyes. After a while, he recovered and slowly put down his hand.
When he saw clearly the dazzling holy sword in the garbage pile—
Old man: "?"
What the fuck is this?
Picking up this "beep—" that had fought side by side with Lin Li, the old man turned his head in surprise and looked at this block.
Oh my god, young people nowadays play this big? Who is it?
...
"Exams tomorrow, your exam room schedule is already posted here, remember to come and look after class."
Tuesday night, Xue Jian walked into the classroom near the end of the first evening self-study session, posted the exam room schedule on the class notice board, and then said to the class studying.
"And Yuying, the seating chart for our class as an exam room is already posted outside the door, and we also need to stick name tags on the top left corner of the desks.
"After school, organize the students on duty to do it."
Xue Jian walked to Chen Yuying, handed her a stack of small slips of paper and two glue sticks, and said.
"Okay." Chen Yuying nodded.
"The midterm exam is considered a major exam, nothing can be left in the drawers or on the desks, everyone remember to clean up.
"Also, emphasizing the exam room discipline issue one last time, the school emphasizes that character is more important than grades. If cheating behavior is discovered, no teacher will give a chance, immediate zero score and public criticism, think carefully about the consequences..."
Daily instructions, then Xue Jian left.
As soon as the bell rang for the end of class, a group of people swarmed to the notice board to check the exam rooms.
"Don't rush, don't push, don't push, don't rush!" Lin Li shouted loudly.
"Your mom, Lin Li, you're the only fucking one pushing! A dog shouting catch the dog, right!"
Wang Ze, who was originally the closest and had the advantage of being in a favorable position, was now pressed against the wall, squeezed into a human sandwich, his face pressed against the wall cursing, "And are you digging in my ass!"
"Do you think I'm you? How is that possible?"
By the way, Wang Ze's butt is a bit harder than Bai Bufan's.
The midterm exam rooms are completely random, not based on grades. This time Lin Li's exam room was in Class 5, right next door.
Walking out of the crowd, he happened to meet the gaze of Chen Yuying, who was still sitting in her seat. Lin Li raised his chin at her: "Class Rep, you're right here in our Class 4."
"Okay." Chen Yuying nodded with a smile.
"What about me?" Ding Sihan looked up and asked.
"Class 16."
"What about me?" Qu Wanqiu also looked over.
"Class 9."
"Oh yo—" Ding Sihan deliberately dragged out her tone and said teasingly, "Lin Li, you really make me look at you with new eyes. I thought you only looked at Yingbao's, I didn't expect you actually had me and Wanqiu in your heart~~"
Lin Li smiled and nodded upon hearing this.
"Wait, Lin Li, you looked, right." This was very un-Lin Li, Ding Sihan felt something was wrong.
"You two looked with new eyes too early, I just randomly reported yours."
Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "..."
Two disdainful gazes struck, zero damage.
"Is this favoritism?" Qu Wanqiu sighed.
"What do you know, this is obsequious flattery," Lin Li sneered, walked up to Chen Yuying, and said sneakily: "Class Rep, seeing as I checked the location for you, I can just move my desk to the corridor after school later."
Under normal circumstances, Lin Li's seat in the back row by the window was the most inconvenient to move outside.
During the monthly exam, because there wasn't much to clean up, not many people wanted to move out.
This time might not be the case.
"Sure, but you have to help adjust the seats after school." Chen Yuying shook the glue stick in her hand.
"No problem." Lin Li naturally had no objection.
"Lin Li, stop making dirty deals first, help me move my books to the back." Ding Sihan patted a stack of textbooks on her desk that wouldn't be used in the next self-study class, bossing Lin Li around without any politeness.
"OK." Lin Li was happy to help and directly took the textbooks.
"At least you look somewhat human." Ding Sihan nodded.
One minute later.
Fang Yiling, who had just finished checking the exam room, returned to her seat.
Seeing a stack of textbooks suddenly appear on her desk, she opened them to check the name, poked her front desk: "Sihan, why are your books on my seat?"
Ding Sihan: "?"
Don't understand.
Lin Li really couldn't figure it out.
They say a woman chasing a man is separated by a layer of gauze, so why when Ding Sihan chased him between classes, what separated them was a sharp compass?
Does she know how to chase people or not?
...
After evening self-study ended, Lin Li neatly moved his desk and chair outside, then returned to the classroom and began to set up the exam room.
"Lin Li, there's no space in the back, can I put these books on your desk first." Chen Yuying, who had just cleared her seat, carried a stack of textbooks to the back row, took a look, and turned to ask Lin Li.
"Sure, just put them on my desk, the one outside closest to the back door." Lin Li, who was holding a glue stick and sticking name tags on the top left corner of the desks, looked up and agreed.
"Okay."
"Ah Ding! Ah Qiu!" Lin Li then looked at Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu, who also stayed to help, and shouted loudly, his voice somewhat pleasantly surprised.
"What?" The two looked at Lin Li warily.
"I discovered a magical thing!" Lin Li's pupils quaked.
"Speak." Ding Sihan first sneered disdainfully, then picked her ear with her pinky finger.
"I discovered that glue sticks have magnetism! Look, it can pick up iron paperclips!" Lin Li showed the glue stick in his hand and the paperclip on it, saying excitedly.
Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "..."
Although Lin Li wasn't Bai Bufan, his mouth was indeed like Bai Bufan's, unable to spit out ivory.
Ding Sihan: "Lin Li, what is sandwiched between your two ears?"
Qu Wanqiu: "Lin Li, did you have a fever when you were a kid, a very serious one."
"White, and magnetic, I've decided, this new property discovered by me, I will call it the White Magnetism Phenomenon!"
The road to success will always encounter slander, but Lin Li didn't care. He directly ignored the slander of the two people and excitedly continued his scientific research.
Rarely, this time Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu both recognized Lin Li, and even praised Lin Li as the originator of white magnetism, super white magnetism.
(Translator's Note: "Bai ci" (white magnetism) sounds like "bai chi" (idiot)).
Lin Li believed this was his personal charm.
Finally, counting the students on duty this week, after a dozen people busied themselves for a few minutes, the classroom was completely set up.
Everyone left the classroom, and Chen Yuying, who came out last, locked the classroom door.
"Let's go, let's go downstairs." She looked at the three people waiting for her and said with a smile.
"You guys go back directly, I'm going to the restroom." Feeling the urge to urinate, Lin Li pointed to the end of the corridor.
"We also need to go." Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu shrugged and said.
"Copycats, you two are not allowed to go." Lin Li despised, muttering in a low voice: "Don't have anything of your own, even have to steal peeing, Koreans..."
"Psycho!" The two laughed and scolded.
"Let's go."
Chen Yuying smiled and persuaded her two roommates who seemed to have violent tendencies.
...
"Urine is the teardrop of the bladder~ Fart is the sigh of the large intestine~"
Literary youth Lin Li washed his hands and walked out of the restroom.
Chen Yuying, who didn't enter the restroom, stood outside alone.
The early autumn evening breeze rolled with the scent of osmanthus flowers and poured in from the third-floor window, slightly lifting her hair. Her right shoulder leaned against the cold tiles of the corridor, her gaze passing through the glass polished by the moonlight.
At this time, the teaching building was very quiet, only occasionally some sounds of playing and fighting came over, which instead added a sense of tranquility.
Tsk, beautiful.
Dazed, so cute.
Looking at Chen Yuying who was spacing out, Lin Li smiled, had an idea, stepped forward, and spread his hand in front of her.
Lin Li's walking sound was very light, so Chen Yuying only reacted when he got close. Coming back to her senses, she looked at the palm that suddenly appeared in front of her, wet, with a hint of jasmine scent from the hand sanitizer.
"Hmm?"
Somewhat puzzled, Chen Yuying turned her head to look at Lin Li, making a questioning sound, the end of her tone carrying an unconscious softness.
But Lin Li didn't speak, just with a smile, he gently shook his spread right hand again, and handed it forward half an inch.
So it became clearer, glowing pale white under the moonlight.
"What's wrong?" Seeing Lin Li not speaking, she asked gently.
"Mhm!" Lin Li raised an eyebrow, glanced at his palm, then looked at Chen Yuying and made an onomatopoeic sound, hooked his finger, making a 'give it to me' gesture.
"Be conscious."
There are idiots who always don't understand, Lin Li had to speak.
Chen Yuying looked at the palm with clear lines in front of her, pursed her lips, then felt enlightened, so she slightly raised her chin and leaned over.
When the soft touch landed on his palm, Lin Li's fingers trembled imperceptibly—Chen Yuying's delicate chin was resting obediently on his hand, her eyelashes casting shadows, and with the blinking action, the shadows seemed to be sweeping across his pulse.
Her eyelashes blinked very fast, so his pulse also beat very fast.
Chen Yuying slightly turned her head, so her cheek and palm formed an acute angle, met Lin Li's gaze, and confirmed: "Like this?"
Lin Li saw a tiny halo condensing on the tip of her nose, his Adam's apple rolled gently, and the action of his knuckles bending was faster than his thoughts.
Finally, the distance between the fingerprint and the cheek was shortened to zero, first rubbing against her pale pink cheek, then applying slight force, the dimple created by Lin Li appeared.
Woohoo.
Chen Yuying still just maintained the posture, her clear almond eyes written with doubt, her brows furrowed into a cute shape, tilting her head, staring straight at Lin Li.
When the sound of the faucet turning on and Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu talking came from the women's restroom behind, this viscous silence was shattered.
Chen Yuying's eyes subconsciously showed some panic, not knowing whether she should pull her face back, so she chose to glare at Lin Li.
And Lin Li pinched again before slowly withdrawing his hand.
The corners of his mouth pursed, and finally, perhaps because a smile really couldn't express his emotions, Lin Li chuckled softly.
Then the more he laughed, the funnier he found it, and the laughter grew louder.
"What exactly are you doing?" Chen Yuying asked in confusion, slightly puffing her cheeks in dissatisfaction at Lin Li, the riddler, "Say something~"
"Class Rep, you were spacing out just now, right?" Lin Li finally decided to speak human language, his words pouring with laughter, asking.
"Yeah, what's wrong."
"Then you definitely have to send me a copy, so I reached out to ask you for it." Lin Li explained.
(Translator's Note: "Fa dai" means "spacing out", but literally translates to "sending blankness/stupidity").
Chen Yuying: "?"
Eh?
Is this how you 'send blankness'?
But it seems like something Lin Li would do.
"Ah..."
Chen Yuying seemed to finally realize what she had just done, let out a soft cry, turned her gaze away, and looked at the porcelain white tiles.
The moonlight was gradually dyed red.
"Thanks Class Rep, the blankness you sent me just now is a hundred times blanker than I imagined, too blank." Lin Li put his hands together, bowed ninety degrees to Chen Yuying, the rich smile completely unconcealable.
"You're the blank one!"
Chen Yuying shrank her hands into her autumn school uniform jacket, then covered her cheeks with the uniform, her voice slightly ashamed and annoyed, raising her leg as if to kick.
Lin Li didn't dodge, and she didn't kick either.
"Can you send it again?" Lin Li stood up straight and reached out his hand again.
But what greeted the palm was no longer a soft chin, but a not-so-forceful slap.
"No!"
"Alright, alright, let's go!"
Hearing Ding Sihan's footsteps and shouting behind him, Lin Li turned around, then walked over and spread his palm in front of the bewildered Ding Sihan.
These two redundant people, let me utilize their final value!
Watching this scene, the hands Chen Yuying used to cover her cheeks moved to her eyes, ashamed, annoyed, and amused.
"What?" Ding Sihan looked at Lin Li with the eyes of looking at a retard.
"Mhm!" Lin Li replicated just now.
"Are you sick?"
"Mhm!"
"Speak!"
"Be conscious."
Looking at the palm in front of her, Ding Sihan thought for a second, and a throat-clearing sound came from her mouth.
Lin Li: "?"
So the palm quickly rotated half a circle around Ding Sihan's head, and then knocked on her head.
"Hiss—"
A little bit heavy.
Realizing this belatedly, Lin Li turned around and chose to run away.
Ding Sihan: "?"
"Lin Li! You really are sick, right! Stop right there!"
"Here they go again, these two," Qu Wanqiu shook her head and walked to Chen Yuying's side, then suddenly felt a bit surprised, "Yingbao, why is your face so red?"
"N-nothing."
The shadows of the trees swayed and crawled over the girl's snow-white nape, dyeing all those thumping thoughts into a gentle white.
...
"Knock knock knock, knock knock knock!"
Violent knocking came from the dormitory door.
"Who is it, can't you just speak!" Zhou Baowei opened the door, and after seeing clearly who it was, he was stunned for a moment: "Eh Lin Li, why are you at the door, haven't you gone home yet? What are you doing in the dorm, my bed is mine!"
The next second, the stressed Zhou Baowei ran back warily, jumped onto the bed, and hugged the quilt.
The dormitory building experienced a strong tremor.
"Where's Bufan? Where is he?" Lin Li wasn't that bored, pointing directly at the real target.
"Who's calling me, why do I hear Lin Li's voice, fuck, why are you really here?" Bai Bufan, who was brushing his teeth, opened the balcony door, first confused, then asked even more curiously:
"Did something good happen, Lin Li, why is your dog mouth grinning so happily."
Lin Li didn't speak, trotted forward, and under Bai Bufan's puzzled gaze, just pinched his butt.
Bai Bufan: "?"
"Tch, garbage, what a piece of junk, not even a dog would pinch it."
Feeling this inferior touch, Lin Li revealed an extremely disdainful sneer, raised his leg and gave Bai Bufan's butt another kick, then without another word, turned around and quickly left the dormitory.
Bai Bufan: "???"
Bai Bufan, who stayed on the balcony for a full dozen seconds, belatedly chased to the door.
He saw that the door of the next dormitory was also opened. Wang Ze, wearing only a pair of underpants, also stood at the door with a baffled face, covering his butt, looking at the stairwell where the footsteps were gradually fading away.
Wang Ze turned his head, the two exchanged a glance, seemingly realizing that the other had the same experience.
So they spoke at the same time:
"This guy ran from the teaching building to the dormitory building just to pinch your and my butt? And then go home?"
"Seriously, bro?"
"Is Lin Li sick in the head!?"
(End of Chapter)