On the way home, Lin Li felt like he was smiling in the netherworld.
(Translator's Note: "Han xiao jiu quan" is an idiom meaning to die with a smile/no regrets, but Lin Li is using it literally to mean smiling very happily).
Although if Li Binbin knew he was using idioms like this, she would definitely make him roll to the back and stand during Chinese class again.
But whatever, only this could show how happy he really was.
Lin Li just wanted to smile! In! The! Netherworld!
As expected of a face maintained every night with skincare products worth dozens or even hundreds of yuan, it was really comfortable to pinch.
However, Lin Li now suspected if there were poppy husks added to the skincare products, otherwise how could he be a bit addicted after just two pinches.
Heh, in comparison.
Bai Bufan's butt, which was wiped every night with a tissue worth a few cents, Lin Li couldn't even be bothered to talk about it, disgusting!
Not even a dog would pinch it, anyway, Lin Li wouldn't pinch it anymore.
And don't wander in front of him in the future, it's an eyesore, he'll hit him every time he sees him.
Arriving home, going upstairs.
Lin Li moved the mouse, the laptop screen lit up. After a day and a night of uninterrupted downloading, the queue waiting to be downloaded had been significantly shortened.
Because the most important things were listed at the front, they were all downloaded now. He didn't plan to make Daoist Shanqing wait too long—although it probably hadn't even been half an hour over there.
But Lin Li still decided to take a trip to the immortal cultivation world tonight.
There was still one chance to go again for 20 system currency this week. Using it once mid-week and once on the weekend was quite reasonable.
Therefore, Lin Li turned off the computer and began to pack and prepare things.
When the takeout arrived, Lin Li took the things to the bathroom.
A white light flashed.
[6.29.59]
Another half hour was added to the time.
"Little friend, you're finally back?"
Before Lin Li could even see the scene in front of him clearly, Daoist Shanqing's voice, full of expectation and joy, came over.
He must have been staring at the spot where he left.
Putting the supplies he was carrying on the ground, Lin Li nodded and said with a smile: "Yes, Grandpa Shanqing, I'm back. I shouldn't have been gone for long, right?"
"Not long, less than an hour," Daoist Shanqing nodded, then shook his head and sighed:
"Little friend's innate divine ability is extremely profound. Not to mention this old man trying to follow you to leave, with this round trip of yours, some karma that was originally just tainted with you and could be used for calculation has also been completely cleared."
"I guess the divine ability is protecting me,"
Lin Li responded politely and vaguely. Because he didn't want to talk more on this topic, he immediately changed the subject: "This is not too important. Grandpa, don't you want to see what I brought you?"
"Of course, it's just that this old man felt that showing too much eagerness would shame this old face of mine. I wanted to save some face, so I held back."
Daoist Shanqing came to Lin Li's side, looking curiously at the pile of objects beside Lin Li, occasionally unable to resist reaching out to touch them, while answering with a chuckle.
"Grandpa, try this first, the fat otaku happy meal, while it's hot!"
Lin Li handed the takeout paper bag he had just picked up, with the seal not even torn yet, to Daoist Shanqing.
"After eating this, this bag is also all the snacks I prepared for you, you can eat them all."
Daoist Shanqing took the takeout, carefully tore open the seal, and picked up the food inside that was indeed still steaming.
Looking at the text on the outside of the packaging, because it was simplified Chinese, he recognized it carefully before reading it out:
"Hua, Lai, Shi."
(Translator's Note: Wallace, a Chinese fast-food chain known for causing diarrhea).
Lin Li: "?"
Didn't I fucking order Tastien, how did it become Wallace?
Lin Li stepped forward and took a look, there really was a big W on this paper bag.
Probably the delivery guy delivered the wrong one. Whatever, just make do with it.
It was impossible for him to waste an opportunity now and return directly to reality to contact the delivery guy.
It's fine.
Anyway, he wasn't the one eating it.
And if Daoist Shanqing got diarrhea after eating this, Lin Li would have to doubt the gold content of a mighty figure in this world.
Actually, some of Wallace's products are indeed not bad. If a brand's food could really be used as a laxative to stably summon jet warriors, it would have closed down long ago.
Of course, although not blindly criticizing, one must also remember that there are no empty scholars under a great reputation. If you really eat it and don't get diarrhea, consider your stomach and intestines good.
Daoist Shanqing took out the individual small packages inside, opened them curiously. This takeout combo was also quite good: a burger, honey chicken wings, fried chicken wings, chicken nuggets, and cola.
There was no need for Lin Li to teach him how to insert the straw into the lid, because he didn't need it.
With a wave of Daoist Shanqing's palm, these foods flew up on their own, including the cola, which also turned into a brown, bubbling water ball and flew into his mouth bit by bit.
Immortal cultivators are just different, even eating is so advanced. Lin Li cast an envious look.
Coach, I want to learn this.
"Mhm~" The moment the cola entered his mouth, the novel experience made Daoist Shanqing raise an eyebrow. He closed his eyes and savored it carefully before swallowing, nodding: "A good drink."
But the next second, Daoist Shanqing's face suddenly became serious, he pinched his fingers and formed a seal, then sneered disdainfully:
"This water actually tried to induce resonance in my chest cavity, wanting to move the solid entity fabricated by an immortal? Wishful thinking!"
Lin Li just smiled and gave a thumbs up.
Daoist Shanqing didn't suspect there was a problem with the cola. This old man had just been lonely for too long, and now he was playing with himself.
The slowly rising progress bar in the task panel wouldn't lie; Daoist Shanqing was happy right now.
He was probably an old urchin by nature, and was probably the one who suffered the most among the three over the past hundred years.
In addition, he could even control his burps, so it seemed he definitely wouldn't get diarrhea.
Suddenly felt a bit pity.
The scene of a mighty figure having diarrhea is quite rare.
"It has a richer flavor than this 'biscuit'."
Daoist Shanqing was self-taught, taking a bite of the burger and a sip of cola. After tasting, he pointed to the compressed biscuits on the ground that he had neatly arranged and said to Lin Li.
"Of course, because the purpose of eating this fat otaku happy meal in your hand, Grandpa, is to eat, but the purpose of eating the biscuits on the ground is to stay alive. It's different."
"Take your time eating, I'll introduce these things to you." Lin Li continued,
"This is a mobile phone, Grandpa, you saw it last time, and this one is specially bought for you."
"And this is a laptop computer, you can understand it as a larger mobile phone with more comprehensive functions. The most recommended way to use a computer is to use it while charging, so that it can fully exert its strength. This is the power supply I brought for you.
"Including the mobile phone as well, do you see the ports here? The computer uses this three-hole one, and the mobile phone uses this two-hole one. This way, plug in the data cable, and it can start charging.
"This small screen will show the battery level of this power supply..."
Pointing to the outdoor mobile power supply he brought, Lin Li gave Daoist Shanqing a detailed introduction.
This outdoor mobile power supply could store a full five kilowatt-hours of electricity, and was also bought yesterday.
Five kilowatt-hours of electricity, even if Lin Li went back and forth once every half a week under normal time flow, it would be enough, not to mention the time flow was different.
When it runs out of power, Lin Li can just bring the mobile power supply he bought at home before to replace it.
"Let's introduce the laptop computer first. This is the mouse and keyboard. You definitely don't understand the meaning of the letters and symbols on these keyboards now, but it doesn't matter. I considered this problem. Look at this document on the screen, it's the 'instruction manual' I prepared for you."
"Inside, there is not only a user manual where you can see what these English words mean, but also a traditional-simplified converter, as well as a dictionary of some proprietary vocabulary of our world that you might not understand..."
Lin Li introduced the computer part very seriously, and Daoist Shanqing also listened very seriously, truly not blinking an eye, even the speed of eating Wallace slowed down a lot.
"Grandpa, is there anything you don't understand about what I just explained?" After demonstrating in front of Daoist Shanqing for a dozen minutes and finishing a stage, Lin Li asked.
"I've memorized it all. If I just follow the book, this old man shouldn't have a problem." Daoist Shanqing nodded.
"Come, Grandpa, you try it."
"Okay."
Watching Daoist Shanqing begin to replicate his previous operations without any mistakes, Lin Li revealed a gratified look.
Although Daoist Shanqing was hundreds of years old, he was not senile at all. His ability to accept new things was much stronger than Lin Li imagined.
There is no harm without comparison.
Lin Li would never forget the scene of teaching Wu Min to use a computer two years ago.
[Wu Min: Lin Li, don't be annoyed when teaching Mom the computer.]
[Wu Min: Think about when you were a kid, it took you several days to learn how to use chopsticks, and I was always teaching you very attentively.]
[Lin Li: Mom, it's different.]
[Lin Li: When I couldn't learn as a kid, you would whip me, and you were more attentive when whipping me than when teaching me.]
[Wu Min: Silly child, it's the same.]
[Wu Min: If you can't teach me now, I'll whip you just the same, and I'll whip you even more attentively than when you were a kid.]
The whole room burst into filial piety, family.
Is this right?
Are these words a human can say?
Wu Min really is, never looking for HR when going on blind dates—not doing human resources (not acting like a human), purely disrespecting the old.
(Translator's Note: "Bu gan ren shi" means both "not doing human resources" and "not acting like a human").
But now, for Daoist Shanqing, whose brain was strictly speaking probably sharper than his own, teaching became a very simple matter for Lin Li.
Right now, Daoist Shanqing was holding the mouse, staring at the screen. On the suspended laptop, the document scrolled down extremely quickly, so fast that the text on it was hard to see clearly.
But perhaps for Daoist Shanqing, this was just his most basic reading speed.
Lin Li felt admiration in his heart.
Daoist Shanqing turned his head and asked seriously: "Little friend Lin Li, why won't this scrolling down stop."
Never mind, admired too early.
"Grandpa Shanqing, check if you've been pressing the side button of the mouse..." Lin Li hurriedly went up to solve the problem.
After the basic computer experience was over, Lin Li switched to introducing the mobile phone:
"The operation of the mobile phone is a bit simpler than the computer. You can directly use voice to operate it. It will be very convenient when you don't know how to type yet."
"Oh?" Daoist Shanqing was very curious, waiting for Lin Li's demonstration.
"Bufan, wake up." Lin Li shouted at the phone.
"Woof woof, I'm here." The phone immediately responded.
"Open Anipop for me."
"Woof woof, okay, opening Anipop for you."
"Using it is just this simple. As long as you call its name to wake it up, you can give it instructions with your voice. Although many functions are limited without the internet, it's a very good alternative for you who are not very good at typing yet." Lin Li said.
"This object actually has an artifact spirit? Truly extraordinary." Daoist Shanqing nodded. He hadn't seen Lin Li demonstrate this last time, and sighed: "The artifact spirit's name is Bufan, is it a dog?"
"You can understand it that way." Lin Li felt secretly pleased.
The setting was just for this moment.
"Bufan, wake up." Daoist Shanqing shouted at the phone.
The phone didn't respond.
"What's going on?"
"Grandpa, you have to record your voice first, so it will listen to you."
"Oh oh, it's an artifact spirit that recognizes its master, good dog!" Daoist Shanqing suddenly realized and clapped his hands.
Lin Li laughed out loud.
Helped Daoist Shanqing record the audio. He originally wanted to record a fingerprint by the way, but was told by the Daoist that the body he pinched didn't have fingerprints at all.
However, in order to experience these functions, he spent more mental energy on the spot to perfect the details of his body.
A mighty figure is a mighty figure.
"Also, Grandpa, we usually play games and watch short videos to pass the time when we are free. Although you can't watch short videos without the internet, you can play single-player games."
"Considering that Grandpa, you probably haven't touched mobile games before, I personally recommend you start with mobile games, and start with these very basic games.
"For example, this Anipop, Angry Birds, Fruit Ninja, Where's My Water..."
"After you've played these mini-games, you can try advanced gameplay.
"On the computer, I have prepared a lot of large-scale single-player PC games for you. I personally recommend you start with simple ones like 'Dark Souls 1', 'Dark Souls 2', 'Dark Souls 3'..."
Lin Li also introduced the game aspect, and demonstrated the gameplay of a few simple mobile games.
Daoist Shanqing's eyes lit up, as if a new world had been opened.
When Lin Li returned the phone to him, he had already begun to try sliding the animal avatars to achieve elimination, the light in his eyes even brighter.
"As for the documentaries, cartoons, etc. of our mortal realm, they have already been downloaded to the computer and mobile phone, and are all organized in this document. If you want to watch them, just click to start watching. I have found traditional Chinese subtitles for you wherever possible.
"For those that can't be found, you'll just have to adapt yourself."
Many documentaries are foreign, so you can only read the subtitles.
"Thank you for your hard work, Lin Li."
Daoist Shanqing was now like Xiao Chunan who fell into the Women's Kingdom, temporarily not knowing which one to favor.
Holding the phone in one hand and touching the mouse with the other, wanting to look at the left and touch the right.
"Then Grandpa, you watch videos or play games first. I'm going to start my daily cultivation here. My divine ability limits the time I can spend here at one time, I need to cherish it."
Lin Li, whose mouth was a bit dry from talking, took out a bottle of water from the snacks he brought, and after drinking it, explained with a smile.
Hearing this, Daoist Shanqing threw the phone into the sky to let it float above, while he himself walked towards Lin Li and said gently:
"Thank you, little friend, for your careful teaching just now. This old man hasn't experienced what it's like to be a student for a long time. I'll put off experiencing things for a while. I think it's my turn to be a teacher for a while."
"Then Grandpa, I won't be polite either. I do have many doubts and need you to help me clear them up." Lin Li nodded, and first materialized the "Spirit Gathering Heavenly Formation".
"Grandpa, if I don't control this formation, it will automatically expand outward. Can I let it expand?" Lin Li asked while holding the formation core with one hand to control the formation.
Every time he absorbed spiritual energy in the middle, he had to distract himself to control it, which was really troublesome.
Hearing this, Daoist Shanqing flashed to Lin Li's side, then also reached out and pinched the formation core. His originally calm face showed doubt the next second: "Strange."
"What's wrong?"
"The name of this formation is 'Spirit Gathering Heavenly Formation'. Its rank among formations is very high. You actually haven't fully exerted its efficacy at all. But I just wanted to help you manipulate and fix it, but I couldn't do it,"
Daoist Shanqing frowned in confusion:
"But this formation is clearly the same as the 'Spirit Gathering Heavenly Formation' I used before, and I almost didn't detect any restrictions set by the master, but I just can't manipulate it.
"My strange point is that I actually don't know why I can't do it.
"Little friend, where did this formation come from?"
Lin Li suddenly realized upon hearing this.
The only reason for this result could be the system.
Probably only allows himself to use it?
"Grandpa, these things I obtained related to your immortal cultivation world were also obtained through my divine ability. It's quite random, and I can't explain it clearly either.
"Look at these things, can you not use them either?"
Lin Li materialized the "Universe Ring", "Formless Sword", and "Emotion Hiding Desire Storing Bottle" and showed them to Daoist Shanqing.
Almost all his magic treasure belongings.
Except for the "Substitute Death Jade-Faced Buddha", this resurrection trump card.
Daoist Shanqing raised an eyebrow, picked up the "Duck Blood Bottle" and took a look: "The thing is old, but useless."
Lin Li: "..."
"Although I don't know its function, it can be seen that its rank is very low, indeed useless." Daoist Shanqing explained, "This storage ring is the same, the lowest grade, but the rank of this spirit sword should be okay. Does it have a sword spirit?"
"Probably not."
"Is it that it doesn't have one, or it hasn't been nourished yet, or you haven't gained its recognition?" Daoist Shanqing asked, watching the sword pass through his body.
"...I don't know." After thinking carefully, Lin Li gave a high-quality answer, "It should... not have one."
"Then it's useless too."
Lin Li: "..."
Fuck.
How come all my belongings were suddenly denied.
But Lin Li quickly felt relieved.
The person in front of him was a mighty figure in the immortal cultivation world. The heavenly treasures in the eyes of ordinary cultivators were probably all garbage in his eyes.
Just like Hun Tiandi wouldn't be shocked and say, "What? Xiao Yan actually obtained the Xuan-rank low-level Dou Skill, Vacuum Palm? This child must not be left alive," and Jack Ma and Pony Ma wouldn't send people to commercially encircle and suppress you just because you opened a small shop at the end of the village and stocked cola at a cost price of 1.2 yuan a bottle.
For the "Formless Sword" to get a "not bad", it's already very good.
And the "Spirit Gathering Heavenly Formation", which could get an evaluation of "very high rank", should be even better than he imagined.
"Sigh, what a pity. The physical bodies of the three of us shattered, and the magic treasures and resources we carried were also exhausted in the battle with the demon race and the final sacrifice. Otherwise, no matter what, I should have given you some pills and magic treasures as a return gift for your teaching just now."
Daoist Shanqing reminisced about the past, somewhat apologetic and sighing with regret.
Lin Li: "?"
Fuck!
Lin Li's heart was broken.
The path to reaching the sky in a single bound was actually ruined like this.
Not to mention top-tier magic treasures, which he might not even be able to use due to insufficient strength, but the spirit stones and pills in the hands of a mighty figure would definitely not be of low rank.
Perhaps just taking a breath or popping a pill would allow him to ascend to heaven on the spot and become a minor powerhouse in the immortal cultivation world.
He suddenly understood Arnold. After thinking about this beautiful picture, Lin Li felt that even if his head became pointy after taking it, it wouldn't be a big deal.
But, there is no longer this "even if" and this "if".
The damn demon race had already ruined everything.
"I, Lin Li, will not share the same sky with all the demon race!!!"
—Wait a minute, retract that, except for succubi, succubi can share the same sky.
(End of Chapter)