“What should I do?”
Kota wanted so much for someone to tell him what to do. He felt everything was his fault. He didn’t know why Mai had had to go; what he did know was that he’d let Mai go to the shrine by herself.
Because he had wanted to go and play soccer.
He remembered their eyes meeting when they parted for the last time. He could still hear her voice in his ear; it was soft and warm. In contrast, her eyes were sad. They never did get to say goodbye properly.
He couldn’t tell her now.
He was racked with doubts. “If only I hadn’t gone with Saiki… If only I had taken notes in class… If only I had paid attention… If only we hadn’t hidden Blue… If only we had never found him…”
Then it hit him.
“That’s it!” If Blue hadn’t been around, then Mai wouldn’t have had to die. If the kitten wasn’t around, then everything would have been fine.
It was all the kitten’s fault.
At some point during his thought process, Kota had transferred the burden of responsibility away from himself and onto Blue. This was the “bad habit” his mother had spoken of.
The first few days after Mai was gone, Kota had tried to take care of Blue by himself. But Blue was too much for Kota to handle. He was too much of a burden for a grade schooler to handle by himself.
In the end, he blamed Blue for Mai’s death. But it was not true hatred he felt. It was something different. It was the pain of not being able to protect her. He wished to hide the truth from himself.
But there was no way to make the pain go away. No matter what he did, Mai would not return. But Kota was still too young to understand that. So Kota decided to get rid of Blue.
Just like the day when Mai died, a hard rain fell. He made up his mind. Determined to be cruel, he would abandon Blue. He told himself that it was all the kitten’s fault.
But then, a little girl and a black cat suddenly appeared.
It was as if they were peering into his soul. They knew his thoughts.
Deathly afraid, Kota ran away. He ran and ran. Yet, he ended up at the shrine where they had hidden and raised Blue.
Truth be told, he never wanted to come here again. It even still smelled of Mai. Smelling her gentle scent again made his chest ache, it was too painful. He didn’t actually understand why he had come here either.
As if he was being led, Kota wandered into the woods. Deeper and deeper, he moved forward. He didn’t know the way back, not that he had the spare energy to even think about it. Then his foot sank into the rain-softened mud.
“Agh!”
He fell hard and splashed into the mud. The box, which he was still carrying, flew from his hands. It landed with a thud, throwing the lid completely open. From inside, Blue popped his head out.
Their eyes met and Kota felt an unbearable sense of guilt pierce his chest.
“Meow.”
“H-hey,” he said to the kitten.
Blue bounded deep into the woods, as if to escape from Kota.
“B-Blue!” Kota yelled.
“What the heck?” he asked himself. “Why am I chasing after him?”
What he should be doing was to just leave things as they were, since, after all, this was what he had set out to do. But for some reason, he chased after the cat. He couldn’t understand it; his body was reacting subconsciously. He stopped dead in his tracks. The kitten was right in front of him.
“Blue…”
He approached slowly.
—Ring.
The darkness spit out a black form.
No. It was a cat. It was that black cat.
“Hey, you’re lookin’ good,” it said to Blue. “Must’a been rough, all locked up in that cramped little space?”
Blue meowed in response.
Now, a white shape emerged from the darkness—it was the girl.
“So we meet again,” she greeted him, smiling softly.
“…Uh, uh… Uh…” His teeth chattered; he couldn’t form any words. He did manage, though, to keep from falling over.
“A g-g-ghost…” was all Kota managed to say.
The black cat was speaking to him now, in a very angry tone. “Hey! Punk! Whaddaya mean, ghost? Who you calling a ghost?!”
It even deftly stood on its hind legs and approached Kota. This frightened him even more.
“Now, Momo here,” the cat was saying, “may not look like much, but she’s a certified shinigami! What have you got to say to that, eh?!”
Still standing on his hind legs, he swished his tail out front. With his forepaws, he caught his tail. Thus, he formed a “ring.” Looking through the “ring,” one could see that the space within it was distorted and not clearly visible.
“Here, Momo,” the cat called out.
“What?” the girl asked.
The cat almost slipped and fell, not quite believing his ears.
“What do you mean ‘what?’ C’mon, the ID card bit!”
“Oh, do we have to?” she whined. “Besides, I’m sure this boy wouldn’t even understand.”
“We have to keep up appearances!” the cat explained. “Come on now!”
The girl shrugged in response to the cat’s prodding. She then reached into the ring.
“Whoaaaahhh!” the black cat whooped in exaggeration.
“It’s because you act like that, that I don’t like doing this…”
“It… It’s okay… Mmph… Bbb… Come on…”
“Oh, brother…” she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. Looking bored, she finally pulled her hand out. In it, she held a white card case. She opened it and revealed the contents to Kota.
Kota couldn’t clearly understand all the words written on the card. But there was one word there that grabbed his attention. It was the only one that he could comprehend.
“How about that, huh? She’s a shinigami!” proclaimed the cat.
Though he had been wobbly just a moment ago, the cat now proudly puffed his chest out and saluted his mistress.
“A shinigami…” said Kota. “There’s a character like that in PerFree… Huh? Is this a rare collector’s card from that game? I’ve never seen one of these!”
Apparently, Kota had misinterpreted the black cat’s words. He thought the ID card was part of the card game.
Kota’s reaction almost floored the cat, who still stood with his chest puffed out.
“Ugh… Oh, man… Ack!” he mumbled, and did a back flip in shock.
“Come on, Daniel. What are you doing?” the girl said in a disgruntled tone.
She moved closer to Kota. In her arms, she held Blue and also the groggy black cat.
“You see, I am… Well, a shinigami is someone who delivers death,” she explained.
“Delivers… death?” Kota repeated.
“Yes,” she answered. “In other words, I take lives.”
She was now standing directly in front of him; slightly taller than Kota, she looked down at him.
“Take lives…?! Huh? What are you talking about…?”
Suddenly, he began to hover in the air. Then, just as suddenly, he was roughly thrown backwards by an invisible force.
“Waaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhh?! ”
Tumbling backwards, he ended up banging his head on the root of a tree. The blow was nothing compared to his mother’s fists; more importantly he wondered—was this the power of the fairy-like girl before him?
“Momo!” the cat shouted in alarm. “What are you doing?! That’s not what she asked you to do... ack!”
He was about to say something, but the girl kicked him and shut him up. He rolled away. The girl approached Kota again.
Watching him with cold eyes, she brandished her dull-colored scythe in front of him.
“If you keep complaining,” she told him, “I’ll kill you too.”
The color drained from Kota’s face. He was definitely afraid now. But she suddenly broke eye contact and looked down at Blue, whom she still held in her hands.
“This cat, he’s cute.”
“N-not really…” he protested.
Kota fought back his fear and tried to squeeze out a manly voice.
“Look at his eyes, they’re so blue. Pretty,” she continued.
“Not really… It… It’s nothing special…”
She seemed to be measuring Kota’s reactions.
“I see. Then that means I can kill him, right?”