The idea that he’d been watching me through all that despair filled me with a burning rage. I had struggled, knowing no matter what I did, I’d be killed. Just thinking about how pathetic I must’ve looked, flailing hopelessly in that darkness, made my blood boil.
“You really are reckless, aren’t you? But it seems like you managed to land a blow on them.”
“Them?”
“Yes. You saw them, right? That child?”
“Are you talking about Lady Risthea?”
“Yeah. Well, more like the thing that became Risthea.”
Ah, so it really wasn’t the woman I knew.
It looked like Risthea, but that uncanny way her tone and manner of speech had changed... Not to mention the thick presence of something else... I’d felt something was off the entire time.
“I don’t normally interfere with the world. If I did, reality wouldn’t sustain it. But they crossed the line.”
“What the heck was it? It wasn’t Risthea, right? If that thing could interfere with the world, then it’s not even human? You don’t interfere, but what about me? Isn’t my constant death and return just as much interference?!”
Professor kept being all mysterious and avoiding the point; it was driving me nuts. On top of that, he kept talking like that thing was more important than me—like I didn’t matter.
He never did anything even when he was nearby. He said he’d watch over me, but he wasn’t even there when it really counted. And even now, after forcing me through so many resurrections, he had the guts to say he couldn’t intervene?
“What even am I to you?! Do you like watching me suffer?!”
“No, that’s not it at all! I just...”
“If you really saw everything, then you know! You know what I went through every time I died! How I trembled in fear! How I despaired when Siegfried was killed! You saw all of it! Did you enjoy watching that?!”
I knew I was taking it out on him unfairly. He’d never promised to save me. I’d always known no one was coming to help. My life had always been about struggling and standing on my own two feet without relying on anyone else.
Despite all that, anger welled up from deep inside me. Knowing he had watched me, fully aware of how cruel it was, and still left me there to suffer was just too much.
“But you never called for me.”
“What?”
“I told you before, I’d come to you if you truly needed me, no matter where I was. But you didn’t call for me even once throughout all those deaths.”
“What would have changed even if I did? You said you couldn’t help me.” I glared at him and he sat back, shifting his position.
“Fine, I get it. I’ll explain everything.”
“Shouldn’t you have done that from the beginning?” I snapped.
Professor let out a sigh. “I intervened in this world only because they did it first. The simplest term to describe them from your world would be a fallen angel.”
“A fallen angel?” I’d definitely read about the term before. They were angels who had served a god or gods but abandoned heaven due to pride, doubt, or any number of rebellious reasons.
“I cherished them, you know. But they turned on me and said they didn’t need gods anymore. They just stormed off. Can you imagine shouting at a god and telling him you don’t need him anymore? How cruel.”
“Hang on. You’re saying you’re not just a divine beast, but you’re a god?” I stared at him, shocked. He was a god? This lazy creature who begged for sweets along with the children, lazed around and did nothing but take naps, and threw tantrums when I scolded him?
“How can a god be this useless?!” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
Professor bared his fangs and snarled. “How rude! I have been useful! I was keeping that thing from getting to you, just by being near you!”
“Huh?”
“I didn’t even have to do anything! My presence alone was enough to ward them off! But you wouldn’t behave yourself...” He muttered that last part under his breath.
I tried to comprehend his explanation. I’d just thought he stayed by my side to beg for snacks, even though he never did anything to deserve them. I’d accepted him basically as a pet, like a dog who would give me comfort. I had no idea he had been protecting me.
“Divine energy and mana are two sides of the same coin. They cancel each other out. As long as my divine energy is near you, their power can’t affect you. And no matter how many times they change their appearance or disguise themselves, I can always recognize them. That’s why they couldn’t come near you: they didn’t want me to discover their true identity.”
“So what you’re saying is, if you just stayed by my side all the time, the fallen angel won’t be able to touch me and I won’t be killed?”
“Well, it’s not that simple. This body is just a temporary vessel. I can’t store infinite divine energy in it. When I was with you, I was constantly releasing divine energy as a kind of deterrent, but eventually the energy in this body ran dry. That’s why I went to the forest to replenish it. But the place wasn’t as saturated with divine energy as I expected, so I couldn’t recharge properly.”
“So basically you ran out of fuel and became useless.”
“Would you stop calling me that?”
“But that fallen angel is like you, right? Oh, that’s right... You’re a god. Should I stop calling you Professor?”
“You don’t need to change anything. I actually like that name.”
“All right, then.”
But wait, what about the arrogant guy I met when I was first reincarnated? Wasn’t he supposed to be a god?
“Oh, that was me too.”
“What? No way. That guy was super full of himself.”
“That’s how I’m supposed to act around humans, you know. You have to maintain an air of authority. But I figured if I acted like that around you in this form, you’d just get all nervous, so I decided to keep things friendly.”
“What do you mean, authority?” All I remembered was someone who was condescending and impossible to talk to.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. This little creature in front of me was calling itself a god. I’d never been that religious. No matter how much I’d begged for help, no god had ever come. I’d lived multiple lives believing gods didn’t exist. So even now, being told Professor was a god didn’t really move me.
“Just so you know, this is only a temporary form. My true self is so amazing you’d fall to your knees in worship.”
“Yeah, sure. I doubt it.”
“You’re so mean!”
I ignored his grumbling and voiced the question that had just popped into my mind. “Does that fallen angel also have immunity to the effects of the resurrections like you do?”
“You mean, can they retain their memories across the time loops?”
“Yeah, that.”
“Only I have that. Well, and you.”
That was one bit of good news, at least. If the fallen angel could remember everything, they’d already know I’d identified them and figured out their plan.
“They don’t even know you’ll come back after you die. They also don’t know that I’ve picked up on their presence. They think I don’t know. That’s why they won’t show themselves in front of me—because they’re afraid I’ll see them.”
“They can’t use divine energy like you can?”
“Divine energy is power that comes from the gods. Those who have turned away from me can no longer use it.”
“So they’re not that strong, then?”
“They can still use mana, even if they’ve lost the divine energy. Not nearly as much as when they followed me, of course. And if I’m nearby, my divine energy cancels out their magic almost completely... Or at least, that’s how it’s supposed to work.”
“What do you mean?” Something about the way he said that nagged at me, but he didn’t answer.
“That’s why the time I wasn’t with you was their perfect chance to kill you.”
“So what do they even want? No matter how far I run, they keep trying to kill me. But I don’t get it. What’s the point of killing someone like me?”
When it came down to it, Kreis was nothing more than a background character in this story. It made sense to target Siegfried. But why come after Kreis so relentlessly? It didn’t make any sense.
“To get to Siegfried.”
“What do you mean?”
“The fallen angel tried to use Gilles and Claude to push Siegfried into a corner, and there’s a reason for that. They want to overthrow me and destroy this world.”
My brow furrowed as I considered this. “If Siegfried steps down and Claude takes the throne, the kingdom will collapse. But is that enough to destroy the whole world?”
Could Claude really mess things up that badly? Well, it was Claude we were talking about, so probably.
“The throne is irrelevant.”
“Huh?”
“It’s not about who’s the king. What’s important is breaking Siegfried. And you’re the key to that.”
I pointed at myself in disbelief. “Me?”
“Yes. You. For their plan to work, it’s crucial that you die.”
Kreis had to die to push Siegfried over the edge?
“You mean the fallen angel is banking on the idea that Siegfried will rush in to save me so they can kill him?”
“No, I mean it literally. Your death is what matters, because Siegfried becomes the demon king when you die.”
“What?!”
Clearly I’d been through too many death loops, because my brain was broken. I’d misheard what he said in a spectacular way.
“You didn’t mishear me.”
“He becomes what?”
“The demon king.”
“Who does?”
“Siegfried.”