“Yeowch…”
I winced in pain as I looked over at the fallen bicycle. The chain had snapped.
Screw it. I’ll run the rest of the way.
I started hoofing it up the hill, ditching the bike where it had fallen. My throat hurt bad enough that I worried it’d split open, and my heart was beating so loud that I could hear it booming in my eardrums. But I hadn’t the time nor the right to slow down. I’d happily endure any bodily harm, permanent or otherwise, if it meant the difference between Akari committing suicide or not.
At long last, I made it to Sodeshima High. The gates were open, but I didn’t see anyone out on the athletic field. As for whether there was anyone up on the roof…it was impossible to tell from down here. I made a beeline across the track and let myself inside through the main entrance. I knew that if any faculty members were to spot me, I’d be thrown out, but there was no time to try to play it cool and blend in.
I dashed up the stairs, praying internally that my hunch was correct. Sure enough, when I reached the uppermost landing, I found the padlock from the door lying discarded on the ground, along with two flattened-out hairpins. My hunch was now a certainty. She was here.
I swung open the door and stepped out onto the rooftop. A strong wind attempted to blow me over, and I had to squint my eyes from the glare of the setting sun. Then I saw it. A figure stood beyond the protective fence spanning the perimeter of the roof and was leaning out over the edge. The person wore a Sodeshima High uniform, its skirt blowing in the wind.
It was her.
I’d made it in the nick of time, but it was way too early to breathe a sigh of relief. Her hands were gripping the metal railing behind her for now, but she looked as though she might let go and jump at any moment. I didn’t want to frighten or provoke her in any way, so I called out her name in a calm and measured voice:
“Akari.”
She whirled around. She looked genuinely surprised to see me.
“K-Kanae-kun? But…how did you know I’d be here…?” I took a moment to catch my breath before answering.
“Let’s just say your future self gave me a hint.”
“You’re kidding…”
“Nope. It’s your favorite spot on the whole island, right? You even made a point of bringing me up here to show me one night.”
“…When was this?”
“Let’s see… It was the night of the 4th, so…two days from now, I guess?”
Akari furrowed her brow and cast a forlorn glance to the side.
“Wish I could’ve gotten to experience that future,” she said.
I got chills. The heartache in her voice stabbed me like a knife through the chest. I swallowed hard, then asked the question I’d come here to ask.
“Akari. You’re not planning to kill yourself, are you?”
“I am.”
“…Is it my fault?”
She gave a slight smile. It neither confirmed nor denied my assumption.
“I’m…tired, Kanae. Tired of everything,” she said, her voice measured and slow. “I mean, I’ve worked so hard to try to get into the same college as you. Each and every day, I push myself harder than the last. I stay up late every night, studying until I literally can’t keep my eyes open any longer. I swim laps until I’m so exhausted, I throw up. I keep working the same job even though my supervisors make me cry pretty much every day… It’s like I’ve been living in hell, Kanae. On top of everything else, my brother’s been harassing me and treating me like a slave. The one time I tried to stand up for myself, he pushed me down and fractured a bone in my lower back so I couldn’t swim. And when he stole all of the money I’d been saving up for so long, I thought my life was over for good. There was no way I could ever recover from that. But even then, I still didn’t want to die, because you came back to me. Because when I called you in my time of need, you came running to my rescue. And…because even when I made the most selfish request imaginable, you still heard me out. But in the end, you broke that promise and chose my brother over me.”
The pain in Akari’s voice was palpable, but I had no reply for her. All I could do was stand there, clenching my fists until she finished speaking. Then, finally, I offered a few words in response.
“You’re not wrong,” I said, choosing my words very carefully. “I did break my promise to you, and I did save Akito against your will. But…that doesn’t mean I ‘chose’ him over you, or that I did it specifically to slight you or anything like that. I don’t hate you, Akari. Hell, if anything, I—”
“You wanna know what hurt more than anything, though?” she interrupted—though it surely didn’t feel like an interruption from her perspective. I was certain she wasn’t even listening to me anymore. “It wasn’t having my money stolen, or you breaking your promise, or anything like that.”
“Then what was it…?” I asked.
Akari hung her head as though trying to hold something back.
“It was the realization…of what a horrible person I really am, deep down. I mean, I deliberately chose to stand by and do nothing while my brother was dying, only to turn straight around, go home, and cuddle up in bed with the boy I like. If that doesn’t make me a psychopath, I don’t know what does.”
“Akari, you’re not a psychopath…!”
“Yes, I am,” she replied, her voice shaky. “You made the right choice, Kanae-kun. I can’t hold that against you. It’s me who’s crazy. Which is why…I should just kill myself and spare everyone else the misery of having to live with me.”
She looked up at me again. Her eyes now bore an unmistakable glimmer of desperation.
“Akari…!” I cried, putting one foot forward to run to her side.
“Don’t come any closer!” she snapped, and I froze in place. “Tell me one last thing, Kanae-kun: Why did you do it? Why did you change your mind and betray me?”
I paused. My mouth went dry, and cold sweat dripped down my forehead. I knew if I made the slightest misstep with my words, Akari was at a real risk of taking her own life. I wet my parched tongue with fresh saliva and then proceeded to say my piece.
“…Because your future self asked me to. She explicitly told me to save Akito. She even told me where he’d die and when. I can’t see you ever doing that unless you came to regret your decision for real… And trust me, you’re not the only one, Akari. I was all in on letting him die for a while there, before I remembered what you told me in the future. I thought in way more depth about the long-term repercussions from all of this. Only after that did I rethink it and decide I needed to save Akito’s life after all.”
Akari didn’t say a word. She stood and listened quietly as I continued.
“A minute ago, you called yourself a horrible person…a psychopath. I disagree. You’ve got a good heart, Akari, a better heart than anyone I know. That’s why I knew you’d come to regret it sooner or later. The fact that you’d let your brother die would eat away at you for the rest of your life… Even after you got married, and had kids, and lived happily ever after with whatever lucky guy got the pleasure, it would always be there—lurking in a dark corner of your mind. I didn’t want that for you. You can earn back lost money and people’s trust, but you can never take back a life. I didn’t want this to forever cast a shadow over your future.”
“What ‘future’?” Akari scoffed, her face contorting in distress. “Quit preaching to me like you’re my dad… All you’re doing is throwing together a bunch of empty reassurances and speculation to convince me not to jump. You’re only trying to stop me from dying so you won’t feel guilty.”
“It’s not speculation,” I shot back. “Akari, I was there. You literally came to regret it in less than a week.”
“Oh yeah? Where’s your proof? Show me one piece of evidence to support your little theory that I’m not rotten to the core.”
My words caught in my throat. Obviously, I had no way of proving something that happened in a now-severed timeline. Recognizing this, Akari’s expression turned cold, as if she’d given up her last hope that I could prove her wrong.
“See? Nothing but empty words. Heck, I bet you don’t even fully believe the stuff that’s coming out of your mouth. Like, can you honestly say with one hundred percent certainty that you did the right thing?”
She had me totally figured out. I didn’t know what to believe; I’d waffled back and forth ever since last night. Was it really right for me to save Akito? Was I really acting in Akari’s best interests, or pouring salt in her wounds for no reason? Had her future self truly come to regret what happened, or did I only save Akito’s life because it would make me feel better? The more I pondered, the deeper I was consumed by my own misgivings and regrets. I couldn’t see anything clearly anymore. I knew, though, deep down, what I had to do. I needed to believe in the path I’d chosen without letting my doubts dissuade me. There was no turning back now.