Chapter 17: Big
I feel a powerful force drive me forward.
Stumbling off balance, I fall face-first to the ground.
In an instant, like the final blow of an axe, a soft but heavy load drives me into the ground.
"Meow-ha-ha-ha!! Sitting on my Master feels so meow-vellous!!"
Katie. I'm being crushed under her voluptuous ass.
Not that Katie's a particularly large woman…she's just not nearly as small as my little Big.
I shouldn't have too much trouble throwing her off…
But I can't move an inch. It's like I've been lashed to the ground or tied up with ropes. Suddenly, Katie grabs me by the head.
Hard.
She thrusts it down with her hand like a cat toying with her prey.
"Mew couldn't find it after all, Master! Katie-chan is mewry mewry sad."
She's right. I failed.
I couldn't find what I was looking for.
My missing piece.
And now she's going to kill me.
Bullshit! This is ridiculous! I refuse to die, to be killed! Stay in AKIBA forever? No fucking way! I'll fight. I'll fight back, dammit!
But strangely enough, this wasn't exactly the reaction I had.
Thinking back, it probably would have been the better one.
Because that's what my little Big would have wanted to see.
Because she wants to be with me forever and ever.
And if that's the case, I'll bravely take it in stride. I'll stay in AKIBA with my Big until the end of time. Why not?
But just as I'm about to give in…
…SMACK!!
The light little pop takes a load off my shoulders.
Wait... What the…?
What is my body doing up there? What just happened?
Big's quiet, firm voice fills the air.
"Let him go, you cat-eared bitch."
I try to turn towards the sound, but all I can see are Big's ankles.
"Yeowch! What a naughty lady, Mistress, flinging your maid's arm away like that... Oh! I just realized! This is the purr-st chance Mi'Lady and I have gotten to speak together..."
"I'm shy around strangers. So I hate talking to new people. But that's beside the point. STAY AWAY FROM MY LITTLE, YOU HEAR ME?!"
"Meow-ha-ha-ha! Oh, so sorry Mi'Lady, there's nothing mew can do about it. My Master failed! He could not find what he was looking for. Mew don't have the power to move me an inch. This is Master's mess neow."
"Shut your face, you bitch."
Big's voice may have been quiet and quivering on the surface, but it was backed by a fierce power. The challenge was real.
This voice only comes out when Big is truly angry. It doesn't happen often.
…SMACK!!
Someone hits me in the head.
Probably Big.
"Huh?" I startle. "Why did you slap me?"
"Because you're so pathetic."
I can't see her face. She keeps talking.
"This sucks! You've been killed, and now we're trapped here forever and ever."
I try again and again to turn towards her. I still can't see her.
"We can't give up though. We have to find a way to keep going."
I could imagine her expression, though, from her quivering voice. It was the look of parched ground that had been flooded with water.
She had really kept it together until now.
Well…I guess that wasn't exactly true.
It may have looked that way, but most likely she was just barely holding it together.
My Big. Always minding her manners, always putting on a brave face.
But even Big has her limits.
"I don't know what our future holds," she says. "We'll need courage to keep going. And it scares me. I hate the idea of graduating from high school. But we have to push on. Because I do want to live to see my future. My future with you."
Ah. That's it!
Now I understand.
I had completely misunderstood her.
"So, what's your excuse?" she asks. "You just go along with everything like it's fated. You never put up a fight. You say that you love strange experiences, but has it ever occurred to you that you can only have those experiences if you get up off your ass and go with me on all kinds of crazy adventures?"
I'd had it totally wrong. Big doesn't want to stay stuck at all!
Sure she's terrified of graduating…hates the idea.
But that doesn't mean her eyes aren't set on the future.
She may be scared and complain sometimes, but she's totally committed to moving forward. To taking one step at a time. To facing the future head-on.
"I hate seeing you like this," she says. "I just hate it."
Come to think of it, I'm the one that got us mixed up in this whole AKIBA mess in the first place.
For whatever reason, I've always counted on her to let me slide, to bail me out, to prop me up…to be my rock. And in the end all I've done is hide my true feelings from her.
Big's words come back to me.
I am a coward.
Who can blame her for calling me chicken shit?
The whole reason I met Big was because I was on an adventure, chasing after the unknown. Because I couldn't stand to be stuck in the same place all the time…because I was constantly wandering here and there.
And here I am unable to even let her know how I really feel. With my words or my actions.
I really can't blame her for hating me. But still…
"Big," I say.
I push the words out of my mouth.
I manage to string them together.
I don't want Big to hate me.
"Big, I also want to live to see our future together. I want to take that journey with you. To go on all kinds of adventures. It's going to be so lonely for me next year when you're gone. But I'm going to get through it. And when it's over, I want to be with you."
I'm doing it. I'm telling her. I'm…
"It's pathetic that I've ended up here flat on my face. It's an insult to you. You've always believed in me no matter what. You've never left my side. And I want to honor that. I refuse to let you down. I don't want you to hate me! Because…"
I struggle to break free of this thing that's pinning me down, that's sapping my free will. I have to take back control!
"Because Big…"
I will my hands and feet to move, fighting to look up at her. I want to see her face.
I gather myself together and speak out loud and clear.
"Because I love you, Big!"
And instantly, the heavy load pinning me down disappears.
It's so sudden that it throws me off balance, and I once again stumble to the ground.
"Meow-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"
Katie grins happily down at me lying face-up below her.
"Master, mew have found what you were looking for!" she announces. "Of course, you're way past your time limit so I shouldn't allow it but…I just feel like giving you a purr-etty kitty-cat maid bouncy boingy bonus!" "Purrr-eow!"
"Kittens are such fickle creatures, they say," Katie purrs as she sticks out her tongue. Reaching out a hand, she helps me back up.
"Mi'Lady had what she was looking for the minute she stepped into AKIBA, and my Master seems to have found his as well. That means both of mew have completed your quest here…congratulations!" And with that, she bursts into a little clap.
We don't join her.
But what does she mean…Big already had what she was looking for?
And I still haven't found a thing since I've been here. As far as I know anyway…
"Well neow," Katie announces, straightening her apron, "allow me to escort mew back home!" She bows deeply. As she does, I see a second tail…this one a different color than the first…pop out from under her frilly apron.
"Thank you for visiting the AKIBA maid cafe! We hope to see mew again soon. It was such a purr-easure serving you as your maid. Kitty maid Katie-chan of the Kitty Cat Caf?, signing off!"
In an instant, the sky changes color.
The entire scene begins to dissolve and shift.
People start walking by.
Young girls in cosplay outfits hand out fliers to passersby.
Anime shops and gadget stores line the streets.
Akihabara.
With Katie nowhere in sight.
Standing next to me, though, is Big.
My little Big.
"Whoa, we're finally back!" she cries out.
Yep…same as always.
Big assumes her usual air…nose ever so slightly raised, fully conscious of being a year older than me, and smiles. Her look says it all, and I finally breath a sigh of relief.
"Well then," she says, "I guess it's time to go home."