Today’s Saki possessed a beauty far surpassing my initial infatuation. Silently beholding her radiance, a gentle breeze stirred, causing ripples in the spring’s water. It was as if fragments of stars were converging within her umbrella. I pondered whether my eyes were playing tricks on me — perhaps it was merely desire reflected in their depths.
In that instant, she directed her gaze at the spring, a gentle smile gracing her face. Scooping up the stars shimmering in their reflection, she wore an expression of pure happiness. Whom was she thinking of in that moment? The answer was already clear.
The exquisite girl still pined for her first love. Even someone like me, unfamiliar with true love, could comprehend this. Unbeknownst to me, I had been crushing the paper in my pocket, and its sharp edge nicked my finger. I could not discern whether the pain that felt like my body was being torn asunder originated from my fingertip or surged from within.
Enduring, I continued observing Saki’s profile. Suddenly, a gust swept through the forest from the spring.
“Ah!”
Her transparent umbrella slipped from her grasp, twirling in the wind, and made its way toward me. As I watched it come to rest in front of the hedge, she noticed my presence behind it and slowly lifted her gaze from her feet.
She uttered my name softly. “Keiichi-kun?”
I replied, “Yeah…”
“You’re late today,” she remarked.
“I took a slight detour,” I confessed.
“Where to?”
“Into the heart of the forest.”
“You know there’s nothing there, right?”
“Indeed… you’re correct.”
“What’s the matter?”
She didn’t chastise me for my feeble lie. Engaged in conversation across the hedge, our worlds intersected. Mine bathed in the hues of a dim night while hers radiated a brilliant blue.
“Aren’t you coming over?” she tilted her head, her hair glistening with something.
“May I join you?”
“Yes.”
Crossing the threshold into her world beside the spring, I merged with the azure expanse. Once again, I found solace by her side, in the place where I truly belonged.
“You put it on, didn’t you?”
Despite my conflicting emotions, my lips naturally curled into a smile.
Yesterday, I gifted her a hair ornament and attached it to the right side of her head. It featured a prominent star with a few smaller stars trailing along with her hair. I thought it would suit her, but seeing her adorned with the hair ornament surpassed my wildest imagination.
“Yeah, this hair ornament is incredibly cute. Keiichi-kun. Thank you so much.”
In reality, I was the one overwhelmed with gratitude. Words couldn’t express how elated I felt to see her wearing something I had chosen. My heart tightened every time the hair ornament swayed in the wind, mingling with her hair and shimmering. I hadn’t anticipated that she would wear it today.
The small star nestled next to her hair faintly sparkled whenever she glanced at me. It was as though my emotions were being reflected in the twinkling stars.
“It suits you.”
“Really? I’m glad,” she replied.
I wanted to continue gazing at her joyful face, but a hint of embarrassment crept in. I crouched beside her and placed the umbrella I had found into the spring, mirroring her earlier actions. Trying to catch the stars like she had, I failed to do it justice. The stars refused to come together.
“How about you, Saki? Have you ever caught stars before?”
“No, I haven’t,” she answered, her smile gentle.
Had it been a trick of the light that made it seem as though she was scooping up stars earlier?
“As I suspected, you can’t catch them, can you?”
“Yeah… I can’t catch them,” she said with a tinge of disappointment. “This time,” she continued with a hint of determination, “I had truly believed I could catch them. Like catching goldfish or water striders. I even thought I could scoop up the starlight reflected in the spring, but I still can’t do it.”
“If you realized that, why do you continue doing it?”
“Well…” She took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as she gazed at the spring. “I was merely pretending to catch them.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought that if I played around in the spring like this, he — my restless him — might accidentally find his way here.”
Her words struck me suddenly in the chest.
For her, “he” was her first love.
She had been waiting for him all this time. The reason she lingered by the spring, the reason she played with an umbrella — everything was for him.
“How did you meet him…?”
I knew it would be like driving a large nail into my own heart, but I couldn’t help but ask.
“Meet him?” She looked up at the night sky.
“We first met on the night of the blue moon six years ago.”
“I see.”
“That night, he rescued me here.”
“Rescued you?”
“Yes. I fell into the spring on the night of the blue moon six years ago.”
“What?”
After a pause, I stammered, “Was it… an accident? Or were you playing around?”
“No, it wasn’t either of those. I… intentionally fell,” she replied.
Intentionally? Saki was only eleven years old six years ago. Did that mean she’d wanted to die?
“I’m sorry,” she apologized, sensing my speechlessness.
“You probably don’t want to hear this kind of story, do you?” she asked.
I shook my head, determined to hear her story to the end.
“Can you tell me?” I requested.
And she smiled softly, responding, “Of course.” There was a melancholic undertone in her smile.
“Before coming to Hinata Dormitory, I lived alone with my mother,” she began.
“Mm-hmm.”
“My mother was a single parent for as long as I can remember. She worked tirelessly to provide for me, toiling day and night, yet we remained in poverty. So, she worked even on her days off. Eventually, her health declined, and she fell ill… and she passed away when I was ten years old.”
I struggled to find the right words. Instead, I listened in silence.
“I had no one else to rely on, so I ended up at Hinata Dormitory. It took me a while to adjust, but the dormitory felt warm, and I found the siblings I had always yearned for. The food was delicious, and there were teachers I could trust. I finally felt a sense of relief after being alone for so long.”
“Mm-hmm,” I murmured again.
“Before bidding me farewell at the hospital, my mother held my hand and said, ‘I’ll always be watching over you.’ When I asked her where she would be watching from, she replied, ‘From the moon, the moon that you love dearly, alongside the rabbits while making mochi. I´ll always be watching over you.’ So every month, I came to the place closest to the moon, and it made me so happy. But even so…”
Her voice quivered, and a gossamer veil coated her eyes. Though her shoulders trembled softly, she mustered the strength to reveal the truth. “But… my new friend from school said she couldn’t play with me anymore. Her mother forbade her from associating with children from the facility.”
“Oh, no…”
“When I heard that, I couldn’t help but think, I’ve had enough. I had been trying so hard but didn’t want to try anymore. Exhausted and lost, I found myself wandering alone in the forest until I stumbled upon this spring.”
“…”
“I saw the reflection of the luminous blue full moon in the spring, and I wondered… if I leaped into that moon within the spring, perhaps I could be transported to the moon adorning the night sky. Maybe, just maybe, I could reunite with my mom, who resides there… That’s what I believed, so I took the plunge into the spring.”
As I listened to her story, my grandmother’s words from yesterday echoed in my mind: “Hinata Dorm… What kind of place is it? Are the children there all unfortunate?”
A thought formed within me as I looked at Saki.
The words Saki had spoken to me on my first day at Hinata Dorm lingered in the depths of my consciousness. Perhaps that influenced my perception: “People around here tend to sneer when they hear about Hinata Dorm.”
“Everyone says that. That the kids there are pitiful children without parents. They are more prone to problems and delinquency. People look at the children in the facility with that kind of prejudice.”
“Is that not true?” I had asked, unsure of my own opinion. I simply didn’t know.
“That’s not true,” my grandmother had asserted with clarity.