“That’s true. I’ll try it then. I said so anyway.”
“Said what?”
“I told Kiriyuu-kun, if you don’t start moving, nothing can begin. So I’ll do it. Say, Skank-san, I—”
It was not a hand clapped over my mouth, nor the taste of being made to drink something bitter, that suddenly robbed me of my speech.
“Skank-san?”
It was because I saw her face, which had utterly shifted from her usual smile. In that moment, though we were still inside, I swore I could feel a cold wind blowing through.
Her expression was one of shock, far sharper now than before. It was as if she had completely forgotten there was someone she happened to share a catchphrase with. Like she had seen an alien and a sorcerer and a creature from the center of the earth all at once. As if she had been struck by lightning. That was the sort of face she was making. I had seen this face somewhere before.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She stared at me as though I had just transformed into a monster.
“Kiriyuu…kun…?”
The word seemed to be dragged out from deep inside her.
“Yeah, that’s him. Kiriyuu-kun, the one who draws.”
As she took it in, I wondered if my words had somehow grown into a great bouquet of flowers. Her face looked just like ladies on TV, when someone proposed to them.
“What is it?” I asked again, but she did not answer my question.
“Are you…Nanoka?”
“Yes,” I said with a nod. Of course I was.
Suddenly, her eyes welled with tears and her face seemed unable to bear the shock. Adults never cry just to surprise children. And yet, I was surprised. I hadn’t the faintest clue of why she would be crying.
“I see…”
Nor could I grasp the meaning of her words, as though she had just come to terms with something. And so I could not understand what she did next. She did not squeeze my hands, or stroke my hair. Instead, she wrapped her arms around me tightly, a single tear falling from her eyes.
I was happy to be embraced by someone I loved, but I was taken aback. I had felt the same manner of shock once before, just recently, up on that rooftop.
Skank-san started to cry like a child.
“What’s wrong? Hey, Skank-san, what’s wrong?”
Although I asked, she did not answer. She merely whispered into my ear, again and again, “So that’s what’s going on,” “How, how?” “I can’t believe it,” and other things like that. And then, she said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
What on earth was she apologizing for?
The kind, brilliant, wonderful Skank-san, who taught me so many things, who gave me hints, and dessert, and always brought me joy… I could not think of a single thing she needed to apologize for.
And yet, she kept on crying, kept on apologizing. Little by little, she gave me the reasons for this apology. And yet, I still did not understand.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for saying I wasn’t happy,” she said, but I was speechless. “I’m sorry for becoming this way. I’m sorry for letting people call me those names.”
And finally, she said, “I’m so sorry…Nanoka.”
She squeezed me tightly as she said my name. Even as I let out a grunt from the mild discomfort of her embrace, she did not let me go. Just then, I realized something curious, and remembered something even more unusual.
I remembered it because I was so sharp. Twice now she had said my name. Minami-san had said it on that last day, too. And yet I realized that, for some reason, I had forgotten to ever tell either one of them my name.
So then, how was it that they both knew it, and why had I never told her before now? These two mysteries cycloned through my brain.
Perhaps I could ask Skank-san about this mystery. She was clever, after all. As she wept, I spoke all of these mysteries into her ear. She pulled away from me and sat up straight. Her face was messy with snot and tears. Everyone looks the same when they’re crying, huh?
“There’s nothing mysterious about it. I finally understand now. I know why you came here that day. I know why I met you.”
No, this absolutely was mysterious. She grinned through the tears as I tilted my head, and held up the index finger of her right hand.
“Listen up, little miss. Life is like a pudding.”
“Because there’s people who like the bitter parts, too?”
“No.”
Her hair waved side-to-side.
“There are some bitter parts to life, but there’s plenty of sweet happiness stuffed into that same cup. People live for the sake of that sweetness. Thank you, little miss. I’ve just remembered something, all thanks to you.”
“What’s that?”
“That I’ve always loved sweets more than bitter coffee and beer. I won’t forget that again.”
She squeezed me once more. I thought it curious that she kept doing this, but I seemed to have lost all interest in unraveling these mysteries. As far as I was concerned, the feeling of being in her arms was one of the sweet parts of life.
Finally she stopped crying, but offered no explanation when I asked her what was going on. She said only, “I’m sure you’ll be able to understand someday.”
Instead, what she offered me was peculiar indeed: the dessert that she had bought for us.
“It suits you perfectly.”
There was no dark portion to the pudding she offered me. Everything packed into the cup was a sweet, creamy golden color. My mouth filled with the taste of happiness as I ate it.
As we ate our puddings together, we played our usual game of Othello. The wins and the losses were the same as ever. Someday, I would show her I was stronger.
Before I went home, she gave me courage for tomorrow. She squeezed my hand, and then my whole body, and told me, “You’ll be fine, I just know it.” With that, I could believe that I truly would.
“Ah,” Skank-san said as I donned my shoes and made to step out of the door, as though she had just remembered something.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Oh no, it’s just… I was wondering if Granny is happy right now.”
I recalled the conversation I’d had with Granny previously. “Yes, she said that she was happy,” I replied.
A smile of true happiness spread across Skank-san’s face. “I’m glad,” she said. Then, she waved her hand as always. “See you later, little miss.”
“Yeah, see you next time!”
When I closed the door, I noticed a little black shadow at my feet.
“I didn’t forget about you. Sometimes even children have things to take care of.”
“Meow.”
“I know. I’ll give you milk back at my house. Don’t tell my mother, though.”
She had probably come because she was worried about me. She might be a wicked girl, but I’d seen an American film once that said all bad girls are secretly good deep down. I didn’t really understand what it meant to be bad and good at the same time, but I’m sure that they were describing girls just like Miss Bobtail.
We I left the cream-colored building and walked to the embankment where we had first met, long ago.
Life is chock full of happiness.
I repeated those words to myself again and again.