Chapter 8
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THE NEXT DAY, Kiriyuu-kun did not come to school, just as he had said. Somehow I managed to drag myself there, the blackness still lingering in my heart. I couldn’t possibly skip school after being so adamant that Kiriyuu should come. And yet, he did not show.
I prayed that the darkness inside my body would leave, but it was not going anywhere. Of course, I wanted to go back home. I wanted to hurry up and see my friends. That was my only wish. I wanted to see Skank-san, and Granny, and Miss Bobtail.
Come to think of it, where had Minami-san gone?
As I thought about my missing friend during social studies, I found myself on the verge of tears again. I decided to go to the library during break. There, the smell of the books and the treasures concealed within were sure to give me some comfort.
This plan was at least mildly successful. The darkness still remained within me, but at least its rampaging was contained and I managed to keep my tears held back.
I could at least keep the wicked thing at bay until after school. That way, I could eat ice cream with Skank-san like always, and go to Granny’s to eat sweets. It would be best if I could simply forget about Kiriyuu; if I could forget about all the unpleasant things.
Such was my way of thinking. And yet I could not think that way for long. I had to find a better way to clear this gloomy shroud from my heart.
It was as I was leaving the library that I saw him, walking a bit ahead of me down the hall. I approached him from behind and called out.
“Salutations, Ogiwara-kun.”
His shoulders trembled, as though my greeting had surprised him. While waiting for him to turn around, I thought about what I was going to say. I’ve been reading Our Seven Days’ War lately. What have you been reading, Ogiwara-kun?
If there was still one person in our class who didn’t hate me, even if he was the only one, then that would lighten the load on my heart. I prayed only for that. And yet, life is like a fever when you’re sick: it’s usually worse than you imagine.
I had called Ogiwara-kun’s name. And yet, he showed no signs of turning to meet me. Worse, he began walking faster towards the classroom.
Thinking that perhaps he hadn’t heard me, or that he was surprised about something else, I called out to him once more.
“Hey, Ogiwara-kun.”
He did not reply, nor did he stop. It was odd. I called to him one more time.
“Ogiwara-kun?”
Sure enough, he did not turn. I called his name again and again, each time my voice growing louder. By the time we reached the classroom, my voice was as loud as it had been yesterday with Kiriyuu-kun.
“Ogiwara-kun!”
Without a reply, Ogiwara took his seat and opened his textbook. I only had a vague idea of what was going on, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. However, I knew from the way that the boys of my class grinned, with dirty looks upon their faces, that my wish was not going to come true.
Ignoring someone. The most foolish, idiotic form of bullying.
Until then, I had not thought to worry myself so much over it. Now, however, my heart was taken by a darkness that grew even hungrier. My heart was consumed by the knowledge that even I could be bullied, and even Ogiwara-kun could participate in it.
I only learned far later that it was Ogiwara-kun who spread the rumors about Kiriyuu-kun’s father. None of that would have mattered to me in that moment, though. In that moment, my mind was in disarray. I was devastated that Ogiwara-kun had betrayed me. That the whole world had.
I don’t remember any of the time that passed between that moment and when I arrived at Skank-san’s home that afternoon.