After afternoon announcements, with the handouts for Kiriyuu in hand, I headed straight out of the building, not stopping to receive a candy from Shintarou-sensei, who sat beside Hitomi-sensei in the faculty room. I did not offer a single word of greeting to any of my classmates as I passed them. Instead, I met up with my furry friend near my home, then headed to Kiriyuu-kun’s house.
I knew where he lived already. I had run into him along the street before. Once I was in the general area, I just had to look at the nameplates.
Among the rows of identical single-family homes, there was only one with “Kiriyuu” written in front of it. I remembered how the surname was written in kanji, because I had previously remarked on how cool it looked.
“Koyanagi is cooler, though,” I said to myself, pressing the doorbell of the house.
I waited for about a minute, but it did not seem as though anyone was coming. I pressed it a second time, but got the same result.
I could not imagine that Kiriyuu-kun was out. Even I, when I stayed home sick, refused to go out—not wanting to run into the people who were still going to school. Kiriyuu-kun certainly did not have the courage.
Maybe he didn’t want to see me. I pressed the button a third time, considering how I ought to spend the next minute, when finally a voice came from the speaker connected to the doorbell.
“Hello…?”
Although the voice had little life to it, I could tell it was Kiriyuu-kun’s mother, having heard her speak on class observation day.
“Good afternoon! I’m Kiriyuu-kun’s classmate. I came to bring him some handouts!”
“Ah…thank you, just a moment.”
I waited obediently, and soon Kiriyuu-kun’s mother opened the front door.
“Wait here a minute,” I told my little friend, sitting at my feet and licking her fur.
I bowed my head to the woman.
“Good afternoon!”
“You’re Koyanagi-san, right? The one who sits next to Hikari.”
Although I had never spoken to her before, she seemed to know who I was. I wasn’t sure why that would be, but I was glad. Hikari was Kiriyuu-kun’s given name. Kiriyuu Hikari. Such an impressive name for someone like him.
“Usually, Hitomi-sensei brings these, but I guess that was your job today. Thank you.”
“Yes, I asked her to. I have some business with Kiriyuu-kun.”
Hearing the word “business,” Kiriyuu’s mother made the same face that Hitomi-sensei had that morning. She was troubled. Perhaps even she thought it was my fault that Kiriyuu-kun hadn’t been coming to school, even though this was the first time I had ever spoken to her.
“Business?” she asked.
I gave an honest response. If you want someone to believe you, you can only give them the truth. “I came to tell him that I’m his ally, and that I want him to come back to school. If he doesn’t, then I won’t have anyone to pair up with during class.”
I could tell that she let her guard down a little. Sure enough, telling the truth was the only way to go—honest people get results. She smiled. “Come on in.”
It was the first time I had been inside his house. The smells of cooking and laundry permeated the whole building, so much stronger than in mine. That was probably because people were only in my home from night until morning. A while ago, I might even have been jealous.
I was led to the living room, where I sat on the sofa and drank the orange juice she gave me. It was reason enough to be glad I’d come. Orange juice was sweet and delicious. As I drank it, I asked Kiriyuu’s mother about something that had bothered me since I’d entered the house.
“Where’s Kiriyuu-kun? Did he go out?” I asked,
She shook her head, sipping her coffee. “Hikari is in his room upstairs. He spends most of his time shut up in there.”
“I wonder if he’s drawing.”
I had merely said what I was thinking, but Kiriyuu’s mother looked surprised.
“Oh? You know about his drawing, then? He’s always hiding it.”
“He always hides it at school, too. He’s so good at it though, he should show it off more. I think his drawings are beautiful.”
If there was a moment when I fully won over Kiriyuu’s mother, that was it. There really was nothing to be gained from telling lies.
“If Kiriyuu-kun has been locking himself up in his room drawing this whole time, then he has my support and I can’t wait to see. But I can’t support him in hiding something that he likes.”
“Tell that to Hikari. You really are his ally, Koyanagi-san.”
“Yes, I have never once been his enemy.”
I finished my orange juice and climbed the stairs to the second floor, led by Kiriyuu’s mother, who was still smiling. There was a brightly lit hallway on the second floor with a number of doors, none with any defining characteristics. We came to a stop before one of them. It was a subdued door, not plastered up with pictures as mine was.
Kiriyuu’s mother knocked. “Hikari, there’s a friend here to see you.”
We weren’t friends, but I was busy listening for the response from behind the door and did not bother to say this. A short time passed before there was any reply.
“Who is it…?”
The voice was very weak. Anyone who didn’t know Kiriyuu-kun would probably think that he was sick. However, knowing him from all our time in the classroom, I did not think it differed from his normal voice in the slightest.
Before his mother could say my name, I took a step closer. “It’s me.”
I could tell right away that he recognized me. I heard a scrambling sound from within. What was he so frantic about? I wasn’t like those idiots who picked on him.
“Why…?” he asked.
The question sounded as though it came from the bottom of his heart.
“I brought you your handouts. And I copied my class notes for you.”
“Hitomi-sensei didn’t come…to bring those?”
“I came instead. I’m the one who copied the notes over. Plus, there’s something I want to tell you.” Kiriyuu-kun gave no reply. And so, I continued. “Listen, Kiriyuu-kun. I’m your ally. I’ve never once been your enemy. So, you can come to school at ease.”
Still he said nothing.
“You might’ve gotten the wrong impression, but I really am your ally. If anything happens, me and Hitomi-sensei will both fight for you. But you have to fight, too. Life is like the first runner in a relay. If you don’t start moving, the race won’t ever begin.”
Predictably, he stayed silent.
“That’s what I came to tell you today.”
I don’t know if I was able to get across everything that I wanted to say, but I had at least said the most important thing. I fell quiet and waited for his reply.
That waiting seemed to stretch on forever. Thankfully, before I could grow any older, his reply finally came. However, it was one I could not accept.
“Go home…”
I was stunned. His next words came flying out like an attack.
“Don’t come back. I’m not going to school anymore.”
What shocked me was not only the meaning of his words, but the scent of his voice, which was the same scent I had gotten when he glared at me in the classroom.
I was utterly lost. Kiriyuu’s mother probably was as well. Unthinking, I put my hand on the door.
“Why?”
“I’m not going to fight.”
It was those words. Those words were the wrong ones. Those words lit a horrible flame in my heart. The spark of what happened that afternoon was still burning, and it now blazed in the wrong direction. I had already forgotten that his mother was standing behind me.
“If you don’t fight, people are going to keep making fun of you.”
Silence.
“About your drawing, and your father.”
Silence still.
“You haven’t done anything wrong! People are all wrong about you! You have to fight!”
I was frustrated. Frustrated by the fact that Kiriyuu-kun was being ridiculed, that he would not fight for himself, and that there was nothing I could do about it.
“No,” Kiriyuu-kun said softly. “I’m not strong like you.”
“You…coward!!!”
My voice came out so loud. I must have sucked in so much air that I was surprised the people around me didn’t suffocate. I was shocked by my own voice, but more than that…
“Go home!”
I had heard Kiriyuu-kun shout before, so this was not what surprised me.
“I hate them! I hate all of them! But I hate you the most!”
I was sure that he was crying, though I did not know what about. Normally, I would have said something like “I thought that men didn’t cry,” but I was too shocked. I was shocked that he was hurt, and at how black my own heart became at those words.
I could not stay here any longer. Although I knew it was rude, I shoved the notes from my backpack into Kiriyuu’s mother’s hands and fled the house.
I even ignored my faithful friend as I left, rushing to sit down on a bench at the edge of a park. And then, before my little friend’s curious eyes, I wept.
I did not go to see Skank-san or Granny that day. I still had plenty of time until curfew, but I couldn’t possibly go to see them with tears in my eyes.