❤❤❤
MEANWHILE…the White Rabbit was still racing away from the party at max speed.
“Should be far enough by now…”
He halted and wolfed down his emergency fruit, regaining just enough cool to calmly survey his surroundings. Despite it being daybreak, it was still fairly dark out, which, coupled with the disturbing monster sounds, didn’t put him at ease.
“The last thing I need right now is a monster on my tail. I need to find someplace saf—” he trailed off, noticing something off in the distance. “Aha!” he cried, running right toward it.
The something was a large opening inside a precipitous mountain. The inside was too dark for him to see anything.
It’ll do just fine, he thought with relief.
The White Rabbit stepped inside, blissfully unaware that what he had just stumbled across was none other than the fabled monster cave.
✦ ✦ ✦
❤❤❤
HAVING risen to a beautiful chorus of bird chirps, the party sallied forth to the monster cave.
“I just had the craziest dream,” Alice declared. “So, what happened was—”
“H-Has anyone seen the White Rabbit?” Haigha interrupted nervously.
“Can’t say I have. What about you, Hatta?”
“What do you think? He obviously skedaddled and— Why’re you staring at me like that?”
Alice and Haigha were still under the impression that they had gone from enemies to…
“Whatever; forget it! More importantly, don’t you think it’s a little strange how their presence keeps getting stronger and stronger, yet there’re no monsters around?”
“That is rather strange. Seb, any ideas?”
“Call it a hunch,” offered the butler, “but I think the weaker monsters just instinctively keep clear of the cave.”
“Because they don’t want to get picked on by the ones inside?”
“In all likelihood. Just as humans bicker amongst one another, so do monsters.”
The fact that there were no monsters to repel didn’t help Hatta and Haigha feel better. After all, if Seb’s hunch turned out to be accurate, that’d mean the monsters inside the cave were extremely powerful.
It didn’t help that Onion Boy—perched atop Haigha’s shoulder—was shivering harder than usual.
“Think we’ll find any fit for human consumption?” Alice, on the other hand, wasn’t fazed in the slightest.
Despite knowing full well that she was as good as useless in a real fight, it was that simple fact that inspired some level of confidence in Hatta and Haigha.
“We’re here.” A large hole inside a steep mountain came into view with an all-consuming darkness covering its entrance. “Ready?” Seb asked.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” declared Hatta. “It’s bloody pitch-black in there!”
“That’s only the entrance,” Seb replied. “The inside is surprisingly well-lit, what with all the glowstones. Or, at least, that was the case back in my day.”
“Glowstones? The glowstones? The ones they use to light up royal palaces? I can snag some here and there, right? Right?” Hatta’s excitement instantly shot through the roof.
And so, with one less frightened passenger on board, they ventured into the cave.
“It really is surprisingly well-lit.”
“Would you look at all those glowstones?! They’re just waiting to fall into my hands!”
“Now’s really not the time, Hatta,” Alice admonished. “Quick, use one of your wards before those monsters wreck our coach!”
“Good thinking. Lemme use the one I got off of Deedledee, since it works against intermediate monsters too. It cost me a pretty penny, but with all this glowstone, I’m sure to make it back and then some.” Hatta whipped out a silver ward from his item bag and stuck it to the coach, instantly causing the monsters to part, opening up the way forward. “Works like a charm.”
“How do you distinguish between different levels of monsters, anyway?” Alice asked.
“It’s pretty arbitrary. A buncha item shop owners started categorizing monsters into levels, and it caught on for one real simple reason. Say I told you weapon A does a ton of damage; that doesn’t tell you anything. It’s too vague. Now, what if I told you weapon A works against high-level enemies? That’s easier to visualize, making you more likely to buy it. There are a number of special cases that escape tidy labeling, though.”
“Like Dodo and Cheshire?”
“Yeah, boss-level monsters are too powerful to be neatly categorized.”
“What about Onion Boy?”
“Too weak.”
Onion Boy shivered, possibly out of sadness.
“I’m afraid the time for talking is over,” Seb interrupted. The path ahead was blocked by all sorts of unusual monsters. “Try not to use explosives unless it’s absolutely necessary, Hatta. The cave might collapse in on itself.”
“Close-range battle it is, then. It’s been a long time coming.” Hatta charged right in, spear in one hand, dagger in the other, felling monsters one by one.
“I’ll hold the enemy back with my magic but, before I do, Mistress Haigha, an energy buff would be greatly appreciated.”
“Done,” she replied. A blue light passed through Seb’s body as he froze most of the monsters in place.
The monsters had gotten much tougher. But, thanks to the Fountain of Life, the party was now an unstoppable force, progressing at an unimaginable speed.
But just as they thought it would be smooth sailing from here on out, Alice’s face contorted in pain.
“What happened?!” Hatta asked.
“The monsters they…they—”
“They what? Speak to me, dammit!” Hatta cried.
“They don’t look edible! Not a single one.”
“Alice, I swear to God I’ll—”
“But I did happen to spy a certain food source you might be familiar with,” she said coyly, pointing into the distance.
“A mushroom? Seriously? That’s what you wanted to show—” Hatta then noticed a certain rabbit, surrounded by monsters. “What the hell’s he doing here?!”
“Your very special someone’s waiting for you to swoop in and save the day!” chirped Alice. “Wouldn’t want to keep him waiting…”
“My…? What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“I’ll buff you like you’ve never been buffed before!” Haigha exclaimed. “Now, go get ’em, Tiger!”
“What’s gotten into you two?!” In the end, Hatta reluctantly rescued the White Rabbit, anyway. “How daft do you have to be to wander in here all willy-nilly?”
“I didn’t know I was walking straight into the monster cave! They’ve been chasing me around for so long, all I can think about is food!”
“Food, you say? I’ve got just the thing.” Alice held out a plate.
“I’m not falling for that one again! No siree.”
“It’s just a potato sandwich; what’s the worst that could happen?”
“It looks…surprisingly normal. Don’t mind if I—” he took a bite. “Bleurgh! You said it was just a potato sandwich!”
“It is! A potato monster sandwich, that is.”
“I knew it, I knew—” he sputtered as he began hallucinating. “H-Haigha? Why are you—” he cried before abruptly passing out.
They threw him in the coach and continued on.
✦ ✦ ✦
❤❤❤
A few intense—for everyone but Alice—battles later, the party made it to the halfway point.
“I’d really like to rest now, Seb,” Alice said.
The relentless onslaught momentarily ceasing, they took the opportunity for a quick breather, only for a bat monster to immediately swoop down.
Haigha quickly dished out a protection spell, repelling its attack at the last second.
“One second; would it kill you to mind your own business for one single second?” Alice huffed.
“It’s giving off powerful magical energy. Intermediate-level boss monster powerful, to be exact.”
“Lemme first try some good ol’ fashioned negotiating.” Hatta turned to the monster. “There doesn’t have to be any bloodshed if you just let us through in peace,” he proposed.
“What enviable naivety!” the monster tutted. “You speak of pure absurdity without even realizing it, boy. Peace? There can be no peace, only battle. Battle to the death!”
“Alice, please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks he’s, you know…”
“Unbearably cringy?”
Seb and Haigha nodded in agreement.
“I’d be more careful about hurling such petty insults if I were you,” the bat huffed. “I could wipe your entire party out with no greater effort than taking candy from a baby.”
“Alice, please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks he’s, you know…”
“Never even tried taking candy from a baby?”
“I actually think you’d find that stealing candy from a baby is surprisingly difficult,” retorted the monster, sweating a little. “Their grip is deceptively strong, not to mention the ensuing hissy fit.”
“So basically,” Alice mockingly remarked, “what you’re trying to say is ‘I won’t stand in your way! Please don’t hurt me!’”
“GAARGH! Enough talk! Prepare to—” the monster paused, spotting Onion Boy. “No self-respecting monster would ever be caught dead associating with these filthy humans! You’re a disgrace to us all.” He ripped the little onion right off of Haigha’s shoulder and flew high up in the air. “May God have mercy on your soul! Because I certainly won’t—”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Alice clung to his back, enveloped in a black aura.
“Wh-When did you—”
“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for him to get nice and plump?”
“What are you even talking about? Get off!”
“Be careful what you wish for.” Alice grabbed him by the wings, holding them in place.
“Wh-What’re you—” He crashed head-first into the ground.
“I did as you asked! Now please, tell me, what did you plan on doing with my precious food source?”
This is too much, even for me. Hatta looked away from the tragic scene on display.
Haigha snagged Onion Boy and ran to hide, while Seb treated himself to a nice cup of tea.
In the end, they were able to get a much-deserved breather after all.
“It’s okay, Onion Boy. You’re safe here with me.”
Except for Haigha.