The monsters were waiting on pins and needles, but the room remained silent. Aqua was acting unusually calm. In fact…I think she yawned just now. Maybe she was that relaxed, knowing she had me beside her, and we could teleport out of danger anytime we needed to?
Mammon, apparently unhappy that Aqua didn’t seem more frightened, decided to start up an interrogation. “Hey, woman, how many invaders were with you? If you don’t want to get hurt, tell us everything you know. Especially about this amazing Kazuma guy who ran away and left you behind. What class is he? What kind of gear does he carry? And fill us in on his fighting style, combat history, and his personality. Like I said, everything you know.”
He sounded like he was just killing time until they got their hands on Mitsurugi and the others. Hrm. I hoped Aqua wouldn’t say anything outrageous and get us both in a lot of trouble.
“Sure, I’ll tell you,” she replied. “But could you make some tea for me? My throat’s a bit dry.”
“You little—!” one of the knights burst out, incensed by Aqua’s demand.
Mammon, though, held up a hand. “Bah, make the woman some tea. It’s the last thing she’ll ever drink anyway. Make it from our nicest stuff.” So Mammon could command a knight to make tea? That was boss-level authority. “Okay, let’s start with how many of you there are and this Kazuma guy’s class. What is he? A Crusader? A Sword Master? Judging by the hit he gave Logia, I can guess he’s no wizard.”
“How many of us? Well, including me, I guess eight people. And Kazuma’s class is Adventurer.”
Aqua proved very forthcoming, but silence descended on the room. Until…
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““““Pbbbt!””””
✦ ✦ ✦
Everyone except Aqua and me burst out laughing.
“Adventurer?! The weakest class?! That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! How would he even make it to this castle? Pfa-ha-ha-ha! Ahhh, I get it. He’s your porter. And he put all his skill points into swordsmanship. How about it? Am I right?” Mammon chortled.
Aqua shook her head. “No, you’re not. Yes, Kazuma can use a sword, but he knows a fair bit of magic, too. He can also use healing magic, even if it was a dirty, unfair thing for him to learn. And he can use Teleport, and an undead skill called Drain Touch, and a lot more, too. Oh, thank you.” Aqua politely took the tea the knight had brought her.
Everyone went quiet again, so that the only sound was Aqua sipping her drink.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Excuse me but, um, this is just hot water.”
✦ ✦ ✦
She held out her cup, and it was indeed just water inside.
“You, don’t pull dumb pranks on the captive. You want me with egg all over my face? I’m as angry as you are that Logia and Payne bought it, but this is no time for childish games!” Mammon shouted. The knight took Aqua’s cup in a veritable panic and went to get more tea, although he looked pretty confused about it.
I knew what was going on here. She’d changed the tea into hot water herself. I wished she wouldn’t do that. The thing about no dumb pranks went both ways.
Mammon cleared his throat, straightened his back, and said, “I’m sorry, my minions are acting rather juvenile. Drain Touch, though…are you sure? That’s supposed to be a very rare skill possessed only by the undead… Well, whatever, go ahead. What kind of equipment does this Kazuma carry? I know these black-haired, black-eyed guys sometimes have legendary gear. It would explain how he was able to get Logia and Payne. If that’s what we’re dealing with, a judicious use of Steal might be in order…”
I guess Mammon was having a brainstorm.
“Kazuma pretty much buys run-of-the-mill stuff from wherever,” Aqua said. “For the longest time, he just carried this cheap short sword, but it was enough to let him take on a whole bunch of your generals. These days, he’s got this imitation Japanese katana with this weird name, and he practices swinging it until late every night, shouting, ‘Hiyah! Hiyah!’ … Oh, thank you.” Aqua accepted another cup of tea as the room went quiet yet again.
Shit, had she really seen me doing my secret practice? Ugh, I wished she wouldn’t give away a guy’s embarrassing secrets like that.
One of the knights said, “I’ve heard stories. I mean, about this Kazuma guy. They say his name is Kazuma Satou and that he’s taken down one general after another using the most inhuman tactics…”
The knight’s voice was the only sound in the room until Aqua said:
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“Um, this is still just hot water.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Mammon sent the knight who’d made the tea flying with a vicious blow at the same time as he asked nervously, “Th-this friend of yours, is he the same Kazuma as the Kazuma Satou who took down all those generals?”
“The very same. Pretty much any general who never came back to your castle, you can bet Kazuma had something to do with it. Beldia, Vanir, Hans, Sylvia, Wolbach, Serena. I guess that’s about all of them who Kazuma did in, as far as I know.” Aqua was really getting into it, talking eagerly about my battles. “He’s done other stuff, too. Like, he took out the monster pretending to be the prime minister of the next country over, and he’s been in charge of slaying a lot of large bounty heads. I guess Mobile Fortress Destroyer would be the first one, but there were others after that.”
The great hall could hardly have gotten any silent-er; everyone was hanging on Mammon and Aqua’s conversation.
I did hear someone gulp audibly, though. Aqua did, too, and it got her going again. She seemed to be having fun intimidating the knights. “Let’s see…what else? You said you wanted to know about his fighting style and personality, right? I’d say the word that best describes Kazuma is dirty. Dirty and mean and awfully quick-witted. The one thing you can count on when you’re fighting him is that he won’t come at you from straight on. Instead, he might watch you from afar, then take you out in one shot with his Deadeye skill. Or he might use Ambush to hide and then get you from behind when you’re least expecting it.”
Who was she calling “dirty” and “mean”? I would have to smack her silly for that later.
“Deadeye? Ambush?” Mammon was sounding pretty uneasy.
Aqua, taking another cup of tea, said, “That’s right, Ambush. And he has a skill called Sense Foe, so he can stay hidden and still know exactly what you’re all doing. In fact… Who knows? Kazuma might be in this very room right now!”
““““Eeeeek!”””” the knights squealed. Meanwhile, I got a good grip on my scabbard so I could take a swipe at Mammon at any time. Heck, I wished Aqua wouldn’t freak them out like that. Why would she go out of her way to put them on their guard?!
Mammon looked around, openly worried. Aqua sipped her tea.
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“Hot water again,” she said.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Now, hold on a second! Something’s funny here! I swear I’ve been making that tea right all— No, Master Mammon, it’s not like that! I swear I’ve been making the tea right!”
Mammon got up to dispense justice on the knight Aqua was tweaking. But just then—
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“Master Mammon, we’ve captured more intruders! One of them was an extremely powerful fighter with an enchanted sword, but when he heard we had a hostage with blue hair, he turned real cooperative!”
✦ ✦ ✦
Such was the report from the knight who came rushing into the room. There was a collective sigh of relief, not least from Mammon, who had been just about to punch out the armored tea knight. Instead, he turned to the newcomer and said, “Excellent, bring him here! Good work—this is exactly what we wanted! And you, Nos! Your plan worked to perfection. You can expect a handsome reward later!” A big grin crossed his goatlike face.
✦ ✦ ✦
A group of very familiar faces entered the room, escorted by a troop of armored knights. Mitsurugi was at the head of the party, which included everyone who had broken into the castle.
“Lady Aqua! I’m so glad to see you’re safe!” Mitsurugi said when he saw Aqua sipping tea at the far end of the great hall. Darkness, Megumin, and Yunyun likewise relaxed when they saw that Aqua was in one piece. As for Mitsurugi’s two girlfriends, they scowled, held their weapons at the ready and didn’t move.
When Mammon realized Mitsurugi and the others still had their arms, he said, “Heh, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to drop your weapons. I don’t like relying on these kinds of underhanded schemes, you know, but this lady’s been telling us some pretty scary stories. You! You there! You’re the one they call Kazuma, aren’t you?! Throw down your weapon and come over here!”
✦ ✦ ✦
He pointed directly at Mitsurugi.