That’s right: I was pretending to be Nos and pretending I had captured Aqua.
✦ ✦ ✦
The way Goat Head was talking, it sounded like I’d been right about Nos being a meathead. Now, I remembered the sound of his voice, but how had he talked, again? I put a hand to my throat, thought hard about how he’d sounded, and said, “Aw, no, sir, can’t do that! This girl’s our trump card against the guy who got away. After all, this Kazuma guy is fearsome strong and can even use magic and stuff. He’s pretty much the full package. But if we use this chick as a hostage, we can’t lose! And we can use her to draw out the ones who are causing trouble right now!”
I thought I was doing a pretty good job imitating Nos’s voice, but for some reason, the other monsters took a step back again.
H-huh? Was my voice not convincing enough…?
“G-geez, Nos, did you hit your head in that fight? You were never exactly a bright one, but now even the way you’re talking sounds stupid. We told you to talk more like a knight, didn’t we? So you’d at least seem halfway intelligent…”
“Yeah! And taking a woman as a hostage? That’s a new low!”
“Nos is scarin’ me!”
I guess every monster’s a critic, but in the middle of it all, Goat Head scratched his chin like he was getting an idea. “Hmm… The only thing you ever had going for you was your muscles, Nos, and if even you think this guy is a serious opponent, then it really might be a good plan to have an extra card we can play. All right! Nos, bring the woman with us! But keep an eye on her, okay? Don’t let her near anyone else!”
After admonishing “Nos” a few more times about keeping Aqua away, Goat Head finally turned around.
“……” Without a word, Aqua dashed up and started putting her hands all over his back.
“Oh no! The Axis follower touched Master Mammon!”
“Eek! Unclean, Master Mammon, unclean!”
“Noooos! I told you to keep an eye on her! Hey, stop that, Axis follower—get off me! Shoo! Shoo!”
✦ ✦ ✦
We hiked around the Demon King’s gloomy castle with the squad of monsters. Maybe not everyone with us was able to see in the dark, because a few of them carried torches. That meant that if they found out who I really was, I could douse their flames to give myself an advantage.
I was mulling over worst-case scenarios, Aqua and me bringing up the rear of the group. It was going great; so far, nobody else had suggested doing Aqua any harm to pay her back for their friend. I had two goals: safely reunite with Mitsurugi and the others and see if I could tease out where the Demon King was staying. But that was when…
“Kazuma? Kazuma!” Aqua whispered back at me from a few steps ahead. Since the other monsters considered Aqua “unclean,” they were keeping their distance from us, but I still wished she wouldn’t talk to me.
“Yeah, what? I thought I told you not to talk to me,” I whispered back.
Aqua, looking very serious, said, “I think I’ve taken about as much of this as I possibly can. Why do I have to be called unclean? No matter how you cut it, this is no way to treat a goddess. I expected to get in the sort of trouble that a goddess kidnapped by evil villains might get into, but I feel more like a mad dog or a rabid animal.”
“Just hang in there awhile longer. With this many of them around, I don’t think we could even run away… Oops, wherever we’re going, I think we’re there.”
Aqua and I found ourselves in a big room with weapons propped up all around.
Geez, this looked dangerous. I could practically feel the powerful enemy aura emanating from every one of the armored knights.
While Aqua and I cowered a little, not eager to enter the room, Goat Head announced, “Hey, everyone, we captured one of the intruders! From what I’m hearing, it sounds like we’ve got some extremely powerful enemies on our hands. Given that they just about managed to blow this castle to pieces, I’m not sure we’d be able to protect His Majesty if we had to face them head-on! But listen close. Nos came up with a great idea. We’re gonna use this girl as a hostage and finish the intruders in one fell swoop!”
““““Woo-hoo!””””
The assembled knights sounded awfully relieved. I guess Megumin’s particular brand of violence had traumatized the Demon King’s army. Not that I really blamed them. They’d thought they were safe here in this castle, when suddenly someone was launching explosions at them and taking down the barrier that had protected them for so long. Not to mention defeating their superpowerful guard and storming straight into the castle.
“Oh, thank goodness… What a relief…!”
“Taking a woman hostage, though? I didn’t think Nos was the type to do something like that…”
“I mean, taking hostages in general is sort of an underhanded trick, right? I would have said only positions up to the overseer of each region were allowed to do something like that. We’re supposed to be the Demon King’s personal guard. Are we sure about this?”
The Demon King’s army began an earnest discussion as Goat Head walked into the room, approaching a magical device about the size of a cigarette case. “This is Mammon, commander of the royal guard on the topmost level of the Demon King’s castle! We’ve apprehended one of the intruders! All units currently in contact with the enemy, inform them of that fact! The prisoner is an Axis priest. Tell them that if they don’t want her killed, they must surrender!”
Then the goat-headed creature called Mammon sat down, smirking broadly.