Chapter 168

Two more familiar faces came darting over, expertly weaving through the throngs of other children. The first was wearing a cape decked out like a Christmas tree, covered in ornaments. Medhi, dressed as a tree. The other had her arms and legs sticking out of a papier-mâché sled. Perhaps it would be best not to meet her eye. “Medhi, who is that?” “No clue whatsoever.” “It’s me! Wise! I wanna gripe about this costume more than anyone! But it’s my job! This comes with the territory!” “R-right, okay. How noble of you. So you’re both working here, too?” “Yep. Voluntarily helping out.” “Yes, of our own free will.” Sled Wise and Tree Medhi both proudly shook their heads. “Uh-huh. I appreciate your candor. I take it you’re actually just after the wages, then?” “No, we’re n—y-yes, exactly!” Shake shake. “Not quite tr—totally true! Right you are!” Shake shake. “Wait, which is it? Stop shaking your heads!” “We’d like to—but nope! That’s our job!” Shake shake. “Don’t be si—r-right! Our job!” Shake shake. “How is that your job?” They both sounded like they always did, but their actions weren’t quite adding up. Sled Wise, Tree Medhi, and Reindeer Porta were all shaking their heads, waving their arms and legs around cryptically, but smiling brightly the whole time. That was weird. “Masato Oosuki! No time to stop and chat! We’ve got to pick the presents Santa will bring us! Come on!” “Yo, Amante, stop pulling me. These three are acting weird…” “Don’t worry about us! You kids focus on your presents.” Shake shake. “Children have gathered from all over the world, and the shop is very crowded. If you don’t hurry, you might not have much of a selection left!” Shake shake. “That would be baaaaad! Let’s get moviiiing!” “Mm. Strike while the iron’s hot.” “If you want to know more about anything in the store, just ask! I’ll explain it! Masato, this way!” Shake shake. “R-right…” It was bugging him, but the three child Kings raced off excitedly. Wise’s sled runners were poking him in the back. “Quit pushing! By the way, where’s Mone? Is she here, too?” “She’s around somewhere. She’s fine! Go on!” Shake shake. “Okay, I’m moving. How are you shaking your head and pushing me at the same time?” Seemed like his only option was to explore the shop awhile. The children started walking—and only took a few steps before… “What’s that?!” “Don’t run off!” No force could contend with an unrestrained child. So excited, so carefree. But behind them… Argh, why can’t we communicate? What is this?! It’s bad is what it is. We might slip further under her control… Urp…I think I’m already losing… Inside the girls’ heads, they were screaming. Quit looking for presents and focus on us! Do something quick before there aren’t any presents left to choose, Masato! I have more important things to explain than our product line, Masato! They had urgent news to tell him, but whenever they tried to speak, something else came out. They had to try and communicate physically, but that was not proving effective. Masato, notice! Right there! Below you! The real bad thing! Sled Wise stared at her feet, willing him to look. It did not work. The basement below the toy shop was where the stock was managed. When kids picked out what they wanted, that info was broadcast live to their parents. And if the item was purchased, the orders would come in here, and the workers would spring into action. Magical hands would pick up the items sold, quickly wrap them, and drop them down the one-way chute in the floor to a transport circle. In the blink of an eye, the present would be in the parents’ hands. It was all unmanned and automated, moving swiftly and steadily. Not one person here. “…Begging for them…spoiling them by buying them…it’s a special day, so you’re extra spoiled, with lots of presents, that’s nice. Buy more. Buy more and more.” No humans were present, but there was one being busy awakening to her powers as Dark God. She was floating in the air, muttering to herself. “…Not enough spoiling out there. Wise, Medhi, Porta, stop resisting. Help me. I’ll lend you my power…” Her hands reached toward the floor above, releasing a sweet scent, like condensed milk. “Masato Oosuki. How about this? State your opinion.” “Uh…sure, why not?” “What kind of a response is that? Take this seriously!” “Seriously, how?” Child Amante was busy showing him a tiger-striped jacket. Most people would probably see it as the sort of thing a frumpy lady from Osaka would wear. If he was honest, Amante would hit him. Maybe the staff could help…but the cosplay teens were swarmed with other kids, completely preoccupied. No getting anywhere near them. Couldn’t investigate their weird behavior, either. Oh well. Time to man up. “I think it looks great,” he said, smiling. “There’s no way it looks great! I should never have asked you, Masato Oosuki. You’re not ready.” Apparently, it had been a test. Girls were terrifying. Child Amante turned her back and stalked off back toward the shelves. They were in the adventurer gear section. Even if their bodies were kids, their minds were still in high school. Toys didn’t hold much appeal. Being given a toy would probably make them want to cry. Child Sorella and child Fratello were also looking to improve their loadouts and combing through everything on offer. “Mm…they don’t have much in my styyyyle…” “Men’s clothes are all too big! None of this is gonna fit me. But I ain’t never gonna wear kid clothes! This is a tough one…” “Ohh, a tiger-striped string bikiniiiii…Amanteeee! Fancy thiiiis?” “Mm. That’s one for her.” “Are you both completely stupid? We’re picking presents here! What kind of parents would give their kid something like—I mean, Santa’s giving us these, and he doesn’t give bikinis!” She seemed to believe she’d walked back her statement in time… But little Masato heard her loud and clear. “…So, Amante, you do know better.” “Wh-what on earth are you talking about? Even if I did know that Christmas presents are given by your parents and not Santa, I wouldn’t say it out loud!” “Yeah, still honest to a fault. You’re just doing the Santa thing because you’ve got no idea how to handle getting a present from Hahako, right? You’re running away.” Child Amante’s smile froze. She was an open book. “I—I am not! I would never run from a mother! I am she who rejects the concept of mothers, Anti-Mom Amante! So long as mothers exist, I will resist to the bitter end!” “Yeah, time to stop resisting and face the music.” Masato shook his head, expecting her to wheel around and yell at him. But instead, Amante just sighed. “…I wish it were that easy. But I was made to rebel. As long as that’s part of me, I can’t ever be someone’s kid. But if that part of me were removed, I wouldn’t be me anymore. So what am I supposed to do?” “Well…” Good question. He didn’t have an answer. Child Masato couldn’t think of anything to say. Then… “That’s easy! Just go get spoiled.” Sled Wise came sliding in with a blunt order. “Have faith in the power of spoiling,” Tree Medhi said, like she was spreading gospel. “Spoiling is the salvation of all things. Lost children—go forth, and be spoiled.” Finally Porta came dashing in with a cheery show of support. “Spoiling makes children and mommies happy!” “Um…what’s gotten into you guys?” “Everyone rebels against their parents sometimes. I sure did! Even if you want to stop, sometimes you can’t help yourself.” “But that’s nothing to worry about. There’s a simple technique that will resolve all your problems. Spoiling. Just let her put her arms around you, let her accept you for you who are, and give yourself over to the beautiful spoils of love.” “If children want to be spoiled, mommies are very happy! My mommy was! This is anecdotal, based on my own personal experience, but that makes it true! So…” If you order in the next three minutes, you’ll get a special discount! Call the number on your screen! Act now! …was definitely the vibe they had going. There was a sweet scent in the air over their presentation. This was suspicious. “Ummm…have these giiiiirls…gone completely craaaazy?” “Mm. Y’all were weird before, but now yer downright loonies. What do ya make of it, sonny?” “Yeah. I mean, what they’re saying isn’t wrong, but doing a hard sell on spoiling is definitely odd… Hey, are you all—” “Wait! There’s something behind them!” child Amante yelled. She grabbed a short sword from the rack nearby and threw it in Sled Wise’s direction. The blade brushed past her neck, pierced the shadow behind her, and embedded itself in the shelf beyond. And affixed to the tip of that blade…was what looked like an oversized spider. Its thin legs thrashed a few times, and then it faded away. “The hell is that thing?” “It was clinging to Wise the Sage’s back and was stabbing her with its needlelike mouth. Since no gems dropped, that wasn’t technically a monster. Perhaps it was a fairy or the like?” “If it looks like a bug, I don’t really wanna call it a fairy, but… Wise, are you okay now—yikes?!” A second spider fairy was peering around Sled Wise’s shoulder. She certainly didn’t seem to be okay. And there were more on Tree Medhi and Reindeer Porta’s shoulders. They were injecting some sort of fluid into the girls, who were now moving closer with eerie smiles on their faces. “Amante, here I am telling you all about the wonders of spoiling, and you react like that? What’s your problem?” “You leave us with no choice. If you refuse to understand our message, we’ll have to beat some manners into you.” “Yes! I think proper education is best! I’ll help!” The three girls all struck fighting poses. Even Reindeer Porta took her mascot doll, Piita, off her shoulder bag, and it grew until it was six feet tall. The spider fairies turned into syringes, which the girls and doll armed themselves with. Time for combat. “Yo! Are we seriously gonna fight brainwashed party members? And if we lose, we get injected?!” “This is really happening! We’ve got to fight back!” “Now, now, are you sure about that? We’re the Christmas costume girls, beloved by children everywhere.” “Gather around, children,” Tree Medhi said, smiling broadly. “If you don’t do as we say, you’ll be going on the naughty list. Make sure you back us up!” Children came rushing in from all around. “You can do it!” “Go, girls!” “Beat the naughty kids!” Like they were watching a stunt show. This was gonna be rough. “We’re not the bad kiiiids! You’re so meeeean! I’ve grown up a bit and can use some maaaagic. Maybe I should just take everyone oooout.” “Yeah, blow ’em all away!” “Wait, wait, wait, do not under any circumstances attack the kids in the crowd!” “Right,” Amante said. “Doesn’t look like those kids have fairies on them. These three are the only ones being mind-controlled.” “Right, riiiiiight. Then Wiiiiiise, Medhiiiii, and Porta’s doll Piiiiiita. Those are our taaaargets.” “Tch, fine, we’ll do it yer way.” Child Sorella raised her hands, and a giant tome appeared above her head. Child Amante began quietly chanting a spell. Their magic was going to be the key to this battle. The children’s toy shop battle began! “Heh-heh! This is the perfect chance to pay you back for everything you’ve done! The punishment you’ve had—” “Tacere!” Child Amante’s silence spell interrupted Wise. Sled Wise’s magic was sealed. Tree Medhi’s magic was sealed. Reindeer Porta and Piita were unaffected. “At least let me finish! Argh, I hate you!” “This sort of thing is supposed to be Wise’s specialty…” Medhi hung her head. “Don’t worry! I have items to fix magic seals! I’ll get them out right away!” “Yeah, with Porta, they’ll recover quick…but I bought us some time! Everyone, spread out! Guerrilla tactics!” The team of children nodded, and each ran off in a different direction. Masato ran headlong down the shop’s lengthy aisles. “I’ve gotta find something that’ll work as a weapon…oh! That should do it!” Masato found a toy bazooka that fired sponge bullets. He immediately equipped it. Then he peered around the corner of a shelf, like a hunter (despite being the one pursued). Where had Sled Wise and Tree Medhi gone? “Oh, there!” “He’s over here!” “Gah!” Random children saw him and started yelling. He beat a hasty retreat. “Argh, do you think we’re playing hide-and-seek?! Knock it off, this isn’t a game!” This was a serious fight. “Oh, armor!” Child Masato quickly equipped the transforming superhero belt and ran down the aisle. It wasn’t clear if the transformation belt would actually function as armor, but like villagers always say, if you don’t equip it, there’s no point! The four members of the kid team had to do battle with the three costumed teens. We’ve got the advantage of numbers, but they’re far stronger…which means… They had to gang up and take them out one at a time. He had to gather equipment and meet up with the rest of his team. Where had the three little Kings gone? Child Masato poked his head out in the main aisle, looking for them. “Aughhh! They found meeee! Whyyyy?!” “Isn’t it obvious? The giant magic tome floating over your head is a dead giveaway.” “We’re gonna give you all shots together! For now, behave.” Child Sorella had been captured by Sled Wise and Tree Medhi. “That idiot…” The kid team was already down one member. Then… “There you are, Masato Oosuki!” “Whoa, that sounds like Amante…but isn’t?!” Someone had tapped his shoulder, but when he turned around, he found Mamako’s smiling face! On closer inspection, it was Amante, wearing a Mamako mask. “D-don’t scare me like that! Where’d you even find that thing?” “In the face armor section. Equipping everything you find is the key to any battle royale, so I went ahead and put it on, but…they make merch of her now? Just who is your mom becoming?” “Don’t ask me. Anyway, I’m glad we met up. We’re gonna have to work together. You in?” “We don’t exactly have a choice, so yeah.” Child Amante nodded firmly. In her hands was a Mom-Idol-branded microphone. “…Is that a weapon?” “If you press the button, music comes out.” Didn’t seem like it would do much damage. Time to move. One eye on the throngs of children around them. Carefully. “We just need Fratello…think she’s nearby?” “She should be around here somewhere. Fratello’s quicker than Sorella, so she should be harder to catch…” “Mahhh…leggooooooo…” “Yeah, I think that’s a no.” Hiding behind a promo sign, they took a quick look. Yep. Child Fratello had found a very manly, badly damaged martial artist costume, but was currently held tightly in giant Piita’s arms. So was child Sorella. Right by the shop entrance. “We’re sunk…” “Yeah, if they hold them there, they’re also blocking the escape route. I had a plan B involving running out of the shop and calling in the moms to help but…that’s no longer an option.” The two of them would have to fight. Knowing the odds were against them. They’d have to grit their teeth and form a plan… But as he racked his brain, a Mamako mask was thrust out toward him. “…What?” “Why not ask? We’re talking about Mamako Oosuki here. Even if you don’t speak directly to her, she might just notice and handle the situation. Maybe.” “Mm…well, yeah, with my mom, that is possible…” “Then go on. Let your mom spoil you.” “Spoil?” “What Wise the Sage said wasn’t that off base, was it? You said so yourself. And she said when we’re stuck, it’s okay to let our moms spoil us.” “Yeah, I agree to an extent, but still…” “Then show me how it’s done, Masato Oosuki. Or are you telling me to do something you can’t even do yourself? Really?” She didn’t seem to be mocking him. Child Amante seemed serious. It seemed like she was looking for a solid basis to answer the conflict raging within herself. I’ve gotta let Mom spoil me? Seriously? Ugh, this is rough… Little Masato wanted to help Amante out. He did, but… But for an adolescent boy to just go get himself spoiled simply because someone told him to was a bit of a tall order. But then he realized… Oh…I guess that’s exactly her problem. The thing he was stuck on was hard to explain. It was just a nebulous reluctance. And that was the same thing the Heavenly Kings were struggling with. If he could overcome this, he could tell them anything he liked, and be proud of it. He could communicate what really mattered. So child Masato looked the Mamako mask in the eye. “This is gonna be rough, but you leave me no choice. Here goes nothing! Mom—” Instantly, the gentle notes of a xylophone echoed through the store. From the PA system. “Everyone, it’s snack time! Wash your hands, then come on by!” Mamako’s voice. “…That was fast…” Before her beloved son could even ask, she was already on the move, responding with uncanny timing. The mom skill A Mother’s Snacks activated. “Where do we wash our hands?” “In the bathrooms!” The children all rushed off, headed for the bathrooms at the back. The stampede of children swept Sled Wise and Tree Medhi up in it. “Hey! There’s too many! I can’t move!” “Now we can’t tell where Masato and Amante are!” Perfect. “Nice assist, Mom! Now’s our chance! Come on, Amante!” “I’m not completely convinced, but I’m not about to blow this opportunity, either!” Hiding in the crowds, little Masato and little Amante moved stealthily. First, Masato attacked. He held up the sponge bazooka, taking aim… And found two butts, coincidentally lined up right where he could easily target them. Bam, bam. “Eep! Wh-what was that?!” “Who did that?! That’s inappropriate!” Two girls spun around, clutching their rear ends. But their assailant was already gone. Instead, music played somewhere nearby. “Do you hear that? Isn’t that the MOM-3 song?” “Where’s it coming from… Oh, over there.” Sled Wise and Tree Medhi peered down a nearby aisle. The toy microphone was playing music and flashing lights. This was a trap. Their backs were wide open. Two children crept up behind them. And right in their ears… ““WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”” ““Aiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!”” Devastating Child Attack Number One. A scream right in the ear. Ears ringing, their eyes rolled up in their heads—and they were knocked out. Attack complete! “Yes! Combination victory!” “Only Porta left.” Now for the final battle. “Whoa! Wise and Medhi were defeated!” Reindeer Porta yelped. She’d come to check on them. Giant Piita was still sitting by the entrance. Child Sorella and child Fratello had a firm grip on it, pinning it in place. “Normally, we’d be the older ones. Can’t do anything rough to a younger girl.” “But right now, we’re younger! So we can do whatever we want, right?” “Er…wait, I’m the oldest? Wow! That’s a first! I’m so happy!” “Good for you! Remember, Porta, if you’re happy…laugh!” Devastating Child Attack Number Two. Relentless tickles! Fingers assaulted her sides and the back of her neck. “Eep! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha?!” Reindeer Porta let out a strained cackle and was soon rolling on the floor. But they didn’t stop! More tickling! Ten minutes later. “Please, no more… I give up…” Her head slumped. ““““Victory!”””” The toy shop battle was over. The four victorious children gave each other high fives, celebrating. “Only Amante and I actually did any fighting…” “Oh, doooon’t…” “Say that.” They’d all won.