Chapter 167

Chapter 3 Children Spend Their Lives Locked in Combat with Fun. Childhood Is a Battle Royale. The trees around the giant fir stretched out their branches, creating platforms like the scaffolding on a construction site. “Wow…we’re so high up!” “Hey! Masato Oosuki! Don’t make it rock!” “I ain’t scared at all! Heights don’t bother me!” Fratello said, shaking like a leaf. Picking their way gingerly across these platforms were three children, now grown to around ten years old. They’d listened to their mothers, held their hands, and survived the painful shots. These results had led to their recognition as good children. They’d been given new outfits to match their new sizes and were wearing warm work clothes over those, with safety helmets. It was scary up here, but the work was fun, too. They had treasure chests, jewels, bells—all kinds of ornaments to hang from the fir branches. “Yo, Sorella, can you handle that one?” “Sure, suuuuure. Got iiiiit.” Child Sorella was totally fine with heights. She’d grown enough to equip her giant tome, so she was riding that around, hanging tinsel, wrapping it around and around the branches. Tree trimming was proceeding smoothly. “Looking good, everyone. We should have no problems starting the Christmas event.” Shiraaase had a helmet on and was serving as the foreman. She looked up at the increasingly resplendent giant fir and nodded with approval. Mamako and Hahako were beside themselves with worry, afraid their children would fall. “But should we just have started without them like this? The girls still aren’t back…” “I suppose they’re still enjoying Thermo. We should have specified a time to regroup.” “They’ll just have to accept that it’s their fault for showing up late. The schedule demands that we work while we still can. If we don’t start on time, parents the world over will be in trouble.” “Trouble? Well, I suppose it is Christmas. Decorating the house and doing all that cooking just takes so much time.” “And then there’s this,” Dark-Mom Deathmother said, emerging from the snow hut with a white bag in her arms. Using her body to hide it from the children above, she opened the bag. Inside were three small boxes, one wrapped adorably in a pink ribbon, one in elegant paper and a blue ribbon, and one sloppily wrapped in newspaper and red tape. “Oh, yes. We have to get presents ready!” “One is from me. The other two are from Kazuno and Medhimama. I won’t say which is which.” “It was a sudden request, but they both agreed immediately. One pretended she didn’t like the idea, but…” “Tee-hee. I can imagine who. But we’ll have to do the same! This is a mother’s duty.” “A mother’s duty…” Hahako looked grave. She gulped. “I wish I could tell you to relax…but this is a Christmas present. It’s undeniable that your reputation as a parent depends upon it.” “It pains me to say that this will be the first Christmas that Porta and I have spent together as a family. I threw everything I had into this present, trying to make up for all the loneliness I’ve caused her. So…Hahako, it’s your time to step up, too.” “Yes, of course. I will be those girls’ mother. I’ll find the right gifts to make them happy even if I have to search the world! Even if I have to make a new world!” “Hahako, you don’t want to spoil them too much. Tee-hee.” Mamako smiled, talking her down. “Hey! Grown-ups! What are you hiding?” “I bet I can guess, but we’re done up here!” “Mm. Job done.” “All the tinsel’s huuuung. Unless you see anywhere that needs moooore?” The tree decorations were, indeed, complete. The ornament at the top was still missing, but the giant fir was beautifully decorated, and glittered magnificently. Shiraaase did a lap around the tree, inspecting it, and gave it the seal of approval. “Then let’s get started. Eyes up, everyone!” She rapped her knuckles against the trunk. As the kids gathered around the base of the tree, a warm light emerged from within. The tree’s glow lit up their surroundings and beyond, sending a message of joy to all corners of the world. A brief squeal, like a mild ringing in the ears. Across Catharn, grown-up NPCs turned to look at the sky. “Is that… Oh, I get it.” All of them understood immediately. The capital was covered in clouds, which soon began dropping white crystals. “Mommy! Look! Snow! So weird!” “Yes…you don’t usually get surprise snow. It’s getting cold! Let’s go inside. We need to put some warmer things on!” The children had not yet picked up on the change. And the adults were letting them remain oblivious. It was best if they didn’t know. Wouldn’t want to ruin it for them. While the children all frolicked in the snow, the adults exchanged tense glances. Secret celebration prep was underway. Even in the merchant city Yomamaburg, which stood in the center of the wastelands… “A presentation worthy of the holy night is required. Snow will not fall here, but we must make our own snow. Adjust the hologram at once! We do have some time left, but that’s no reason to dillydally!” “Manager! The outfits are done! We’ll need people to try them on…” “Well done. This way.” In the city’s largest casino, the manager stopped barking orders, smiled as warmly as Santa himself, and headed to his office. Meanwhile, in Meema, home of the Matriarchal Arts Tournament… “Meema hosts a parade of guards in costume every year! The children are looking forward to it! We must make it a success!” “Then you’d better get cracking. I’ll mind the guard station for you. You guards go get ready for the parade!” “That would help a lot. We’ll take you up on that offer. Come on, men! Hop to it!” “What?” “Mommy, what’s happening?” “I don’t get it!” “Hugs!” “Hugs!” “You don’t need to get it yet. It’ll be more fun later.” The guards all followed the captain out. Growlette watched them go, shielding her kids from the frigid winds. And in the coastal town of Thermo… “Pocchi, I don’t mean anything by this, but could you wait here in the Mom Guild? I’ve got some urgent business.” “Wait, Mom, I know what this is. Yeah, I’m your kid, but I’m also a childcare worker at the Mom Guild nursery, which means I’m like a dad to these kids.” “Oh…heh-heh-heh. You certainly have grown! That’s a little sad, but Mom’s happy for you. Okay, Pocchi! Let’s make this a good one.” “Yeah! The Thermo winter specialty—we’ll make it the best one yet! Come on, boys!” “““Yeah!””” Pocchi and the brutish childcare workers shouldered bundles of cables and raced off toward the tower dungeon. Their mothers and the setting sun watched them go. The world was getting ready for Christmas. “…Yeah, that’ll do.” The snow hut had been cleared away and new furnishings installed near the base of the giant fir tree. At the venue was a massive banquet table covered in elegant candelabras, and a brick fireplace was nearby. There were also enough comfortable couches to seat everyone. Dark-Mom Deathmother was seated on one of them, tapping and swiping away on her tablet. Her participation was strictly voluntary. The style was reminiscent of Christmas parties in Northern Europe. Truly a scene that promised a most wonderful time… “Heh, it’s perfect. Well, Masato? Have I impressed you yet?” “Sure, Shiraaase, it’s ‘perfect.’ Except for the fact that there’s no ceiling or walls.” “An intentional oversight to allow you to soak in the splendor of the locale. We have snow wards installed, never fear. And there’s one other feature to ensure the party is a success.” Shiraaase pointed behind the giant fir. A figure in red appeared. “Ma-kun! I tried it on, but what do you think? It’s Santa Mommy! Mommy Santa! Hee-hee.” Mamako was wearing a red-and-white Santa costume so skimpy, she seemed ready to spill out of it. A vein throbbed on Masato’s face, but he forced himself to smile pleasantly. “Uh, sure, it looks great. Totally.” “Oh my! Ma-kun’s doing the calm before the storm.” “Here you are, doing everything you can to make this a fun event, and he’s radiating hostility. You’ve got a lot of nerve, Masato.” “It’s a normal reaction! Nobody my age would welcome their mother dressed as Santa…gasp!” The giant fir was glowing with the light of punishment. Naughty children who dissed their mom’s cosplay would need to be reformed, starting over from the very— “No, no, no, I didn’t mean that! I was just kidding!” His desperate pleas managed to talk it down. “Th-the costume itself isn’t a problem! It’s just, uh…yeah, cooking! I just figured that if you’ve got a lot of cooking to do today, a different outfit would be more practical!” “Oh, that’s right! We’ll have to start cooking soon or we won’t be ready in time for dinner! I’d like to prep tomorrow’s dishes while I’m at it. Hahako!” “Yes, let’s make this the best meal yet.” “Er, but if you could just change first… Nobody’s listening.” The two moms ran into the kitchen that had been set up for this party venue. They were inspecting the available ingredients, formulating a plan of attack. Clearly Christmas prep was going smoothly. “So the moms are cooking… And what are you good little boys and girls doing?” “I’m gonna do my best to ignore what she’s wearing, and help cook. If that helps me get designated as a good kid and grow more, all the better. Right, Amante?” “I won’t! I’d never help a mother cook! Humph!” “Oh, really? You and Hahako were getting along so well. Yo, Sorella, Fratello, what’s going on?” “I dunnoooo. But I agree with Amante heeeere.” “Mm. Ain’t about to help no moms.” “All of you, huh? What gives? You holding a grudge about the shots or something? That can’t be true, right?” The little Kings all rubbed their arms where the needles had poked them, avoiding his gaze. Cleeeeeeearly holding a grudge. “Sheesh, don’t be so childish. I guess you are children, but…” “Three steps forward, two steps back. That’s how bonds are made. How about we make a different task for the child team? This way.” Shiraaase pointed, and a door festooned with Christmas decorations appeared out of nowhere. When it opened, there was a toy store inside. Its name? Hello Mama Toys. Robots, dolls, stuffed animals, toy cars, toy swords, princess outfits. Even toys for older kids, and real weapons, armor, and items. The store was so big, they couldn’t see the far wall, and it was stuffed to the brim with enough toys to delight children of all ages. “Wow…awesome…” “This is the legendary toy shop that only opens on Christmas Eve, with doors appearing all over the world. Masato, Amante, Sorella, and Fratello—go explore this store!” “Explore? Are we looking for something in particular?” “Whatever you wish. I’m afraid you won’t be able to take it with you…but perhaps Santa will bring it to you later.” “Santa…? Sorry, Shiraaase, we’re too old for that…” “Santa will bring us presents?! Then we’ve got to get this right!” Excited. “We’re good kiiiids, so he’ll definitely cooooome.” Excited. “Mm. Gotta hang a big ole stockin’. Maybe a couple of spares.” Excited. Guess the girls weren’t too old. “Are they serious?” “Masato, don’t go shattering the dreams of children. Now then, everything you do in the shop will be broadcast to your parents in real time. If the presents you wish for are placed by your pillows in the morning, that’s why.” “I feel like you’ve just destroyed more dreams than I ever could, but okay.” “Why are you still talking to her?! Masato Oosuki, let’s go!” “Gah?!” Little Amante was clearly done waiting, and she grabbed child Masato by the collar, hauling him bodily into the toy store. Santa Mamako and Hahako watched them go, a little worried. “Ma-kun! Mommy wants to go with you, but I’m just too busy! Be a good boy in the store, okay? Look after the girls.” “Got it! Leave them to me!” “Humph. No way Masato Oosuki could ever look after me! Hahako, we’re going in.” “Yes. Have a good time. Be nice to everyone!” With their mother’s approval, it was time for the children’s adventure. The shelves were packed with toys. The aisles were packed with children and teenagers. “I want this!” “And this!” All having the time of their lives. Squeals and laughter echoing through the store. As Masato and the little Kings made their way down the main passage, a five-year-old boy tripped and fell. But he was in too big a rush to stop and cry. He got right back up and ran off smiling. “This place is so chaotic, it’s making my head hurt. I mean, I’m excited, too, but…even if our bodies are children, our minds are all grown up. We can stay calm—” “What are those things over there?! I’m gonna go see!” Dash. “Yo, Amante, don’t run off alone! You’ll get lost!” “They’ve got magical girl costuuuumes! So cuuuuute! I wonder if there are any necromanceeeeers?!” “Not you, too, Sorella?! Aren’t you already a necromancer? Why do you need a costume?!” “Sonny—I can’t hold it in no longer.” Fratello was trembling. “Fratello, seriously? Argh, go before we come in! Fine, I’ll help find the bathroom, just hold it a little longer.” Not only could Masato not relax and look around, but he couldn’t even take two steps. “How do parents do it?” He had a lot of sympathy for anyone looking after little kids suddenly. But he was forced to play the role here. First, the call of nature. Once Fratello’s bladder was empty, they came back to the main shop… “Mm? Is that…?” …and found a girl wearing reindeer antlers. With a large shoulder bag. A very cute reindeer girl. Two mascots dangling from her bag, Piita and the slightly larger Piitamama. Which meant this was definitely… “Yo, Porta!” “Huh? …Oh, Masato! And the Kings?” When she turned around, it was definitely Porta. “Welcome! This is Hello Mama Toys!” “Thanks, good to be here…wait, why are you welcoming us?” “I work here now!” “Why would you be…uh, come to think of it, they did say doors opened all over the world. Did you come here from Thermo?” “Yes! I did!” “And you saw how busy the place was and volunteered to help out? Yeah, that’s just like you. You’re such a good girl! We were worried when you never showed up, but this explains it.” “Sorry to worry you! I’m just fine!” Reindeer Porta was all smiles. But she was shaking her head really hard. “Mm? What’s wrong? Are you denying that?” “No, not denying anything! I’m fine!” Shake shake. “Then why are you shaking your head? What’s that mean?” “You’re imagining it!” Shake shake. “No, no, that doesn’t make sense. What’s got into you, Porta?” He put his hands on her soft cheeks, stopping the shaking. It stopped. “Are you okay?” “Yes!” She seemed okay. But the moment he let go, she started shaking her head again, still smiling. Child Masato frowned, puzzled. “Porta, there you are. We were looking for you.” “We finally found—oh, Masato! And the Kings! You guys sure got big while we weren’t looking. Kids grow up so fast!” “Oh, it’s Medhi, and…who’s the lady talking like she’s somebody’s long-lost aunt?”