Chapter 4 Something’s Happening Without Our Knowledge. Something Outrageous. The crystal ball on the desk was showing a live feed of Masato’s party running around Deathmother Castle. “I’m definitely getting chills, here…b-but no matter! We’ve gotta reach Porta’s mom! Is this the right way?” “Yes! Straight down there to the throne…huh? The door’s gone!” “The passage leads to a dead end where a door clearly should be, but there isn’t one… Oh, maybe she doesn’t want to meet—” “No, Wise. She’s just being cautious, since we are infiltrating her lair.” “R-right! Good point, Medhi. That must be it!” “In that case…let’s check our surroundings thoroughly! Commence investigation!” “Okay! I’ll look over here… Eep, monsters!” Porta was happily running around, back with her companions, who were looking after her and supporting her. They were about to enter combat, and everyone was bracing themselves, but… In a chair elsewhere in the castle, watching their every move, Porta’s mother found her heart at peace. “Yes. That’s how it should be. That’s where you belong.” Dark-Mom Deathmother looked content. She’d looked like this since retiring to her chambers. Her eyes never left the crystal ball, as if she didn’t want to miss a single one of Porta’s actions or expressions. This was Dark-Mom Deathmother’s happy time. If only it could last forever. But no sooner had that thought crossed her mind than there was a knock at her door. “…Oh, yes. This always happens,” she muttered. She waved a hand, dismissing the image in the crystal. Her expression hardened into that of a demon lord. “Enter,” she said, not even glancing at the door. It was Hahako, looking a little embarrassed. “Sorry. I interrupted again, didn’t I?” “So be it. I’m used to it by now. But…you’re still here? I’ve removed the restrictions, so you may go where you wish.” “…You’re sure?” “I am. You did exactly as I’d hoped. I appreciate your escorting her companions here. Your freedom is my way of thanking you. You might want to rescue those poor children from their two-hundredth attempt at escaping the game of traps. Whether they accept you as a mother or not.” “About that…” Hahako began. She seemed gravely worried. “Is it true that children don’t need parents?” “It is,” Dark-Mom Deathmother replied. No trace of hesitation. “A strategy based on my ideas is rapidly advancing in every corner of the world. Children everywhere are leaving their parents and living fine lives on their own. See it with your own eyes.” She waved a hand at the crystal. The outside world appeared… “Oh my!” “………Huh………?” …but the sight made Hahako yelp with delight, and Dark-Mom Deathmother’s glasses fell off her face. The world was in danger. What had started with a tiny shift had expanded until all the world knew about it. The same thing was happening everywhere. “All right, my next delivery is… Yikes?! Whoaaa!” A wagon traveling between towns suddenly lost its balance, toppling over. It had tumbled into a sudden depression in the ground. Other travelers quickly ran to help. “This again?! How many times…!” “I dunno! There was just one on the other road!” “Hey! We need help over here! The ships in the harbor are in trouble!” “It’s everywhere!” Land and sea alike were in big trouble. A depression had appeared by the docks, and the ships at anchor were all falling in. The fishermen had ropes attached and were desperately trying to haul their ships back out…but were on the verge of getting yanked into the ocean themselves. “Let go! You can’t save it!” “We got no choice! Our trade depends on it! Without this ship, we can’t eat tomorr—augh?!” “Crap! He fell in! Someone throw a life preserver!” Depressions in the earth and ocean alike. Appearing with no warning, throwing lives into turmoil. “Damn it…what’s going on? How is this even possible?” “Does anyone know anything?! What is the world coming to?!” The cause of the phenomenon had already been discovered. And the Queen of Catharn had instructed that this be made public knowledge the world over. But officials scrambling to handle the constant incidents had no time to check the reports. Vital documents were sitting untouched on their desks. With no knowledge of the countermeasures, the damage spread unchecked. “It’s like the end of the world… Are we doomed?!” Despair spread through the crowd. The end of the world. Words that inspired fear, sadness, and regret. People fell to their knees, faces buried in hands. But… “Pardon the interruption at such a busy juncture. May I have a moment of your time? I can info-P you that this is my card.” “Huh? …Shirase-P?” In their darkest moment, a producer/manager appeared out of nowhere, carrying a backpack and a shoulder bag. With no regard to the crisis at hand, she began handing out business cards. “I am here today to introduce you all to a new idol group our company is actively promoting.” “No, um…this really isn’t the time…” “Oh, come now. It will only take a moment, and I assure you—they’re a feast for the eyes.” “No, like…seriously, not right now! We’re dealing with an emergency! It’s the end of the world!” “Don’t worry! The world will not end. We’re here to save it!” “Huh…?” Strong. Kind. Warm. Reliable. Just hearing her voice made you feel safe. The people looked up to see the promising new idol group running over. First… “Being strict is an expression of love! Side by side with the children, we’ll strive for greater heights!! I’m Mom Idol Number Three, Medhimama! Oh-ho-ho!” Medhimama looked confident—she’d made her peace with this whole thing. “Neither of us are honest with our feelings! You got a problem with me? Spit it out! Family squabbles are my thing! I’m Mom Idol Number Two, Night Queen! Quit your ogling.” She was still slightly embarrassed by this whole situation, but she was counting on enthusiasm to get her through it—Kazuno knew that nerves make the woman. Both struck a pose. And between them… “My love is boundless! I love you sooo much! Let me give you a biiig hug! I’m Mom Idol Number One, Mamako Oosuki! Hee-hee-hee.” Mamako’s smile was so enthusiastic, it was clear she was enjoying every second of this. The three of them spoke together. “““Together, we’re MOM-3! Are you all being good children?!””” Announcing the name of their group, each of them smiled—one gentle, one looking for a fight, one super strict. Blinding! Shining! Legitimate idols! And as always, this left everyone dumbfounded. Shirase-P applauded their performance. Producer-approved. “Very good! You’re definitely starting to seem like idols! The group name is clearly critical. Now your hearts will become one, and you’ll only get more into it as time passes!” “Yes. I do feel like the three of us can do it together!” “I’m more crying inside because there’s no way out now…” “Kazuno, you are forbidden from griping about this further. We have no choice.” “I know, I know, jeez… You old windbag…” “Say that again, Kazuno? What did you call me?” An ominous rumbling followed. “Right, now that the group name is settled, and everyone’s ready to go, it’s time to start resolving the world’s problems! Everyone, prepare your Idol Sensors!” “““……What?””” Clearly, none of the mom idols had the slightest idea what Shirase-P was talking about. “Idol Sensors…a special skill only mom idols have! It allows you to seek out the stage where you will shine brightest as an idol! And where your activities are needed—in other words, where parent-child problems exist! Let’s all head where your Sensors take us! Come!” “……Is that a real skill?” “I think she’s goofing around again…” “Well, it can’t hurt to try. Like this?” Mamako focused her mind and held out a hand, trying to detect family problems that might lie in that direction. Looking very dubious, Kazuno and Medhimama followed Mamako’s lead, aiming their hands in different directions. Did they sense anything…? “…Mm? Huh?” Kazuno was the first to speak. “Do you sense something, Kazuno?” “Uh…well, I think a mom is arguing with her daughter? It kinda feels like me and Genya… Over there.” “Amazing! The skill really works! Shirase-P, I apologize for my earlier rudeness. You were absolutely correct.” “No, no, I am every bit as surprised. I just made it up, you see.” “““What?!””” “Just talking to myself. Never you mind. Kazuno, can you pinpoint the source? We have little time and should get to work right away.” “Pinpoint…oh. I feel like I’ve been there before… Yes, I know. We can get there with a teleportation spell. Can I have my tome?” Shirase-P handed a magic tome to Kazuno, who muttered, “Transportare!” Her cast cancel skill allowed her to skip the rest of the chant, so that was all it took to activate the teleportation spell. The four of them were bathed in the spell’s light, their gleaming outfits shining even brighter—and then they flew away. “They were like angels…no, goddesses! Have we witnessed a miracle?!” “I feel like something good will happen…they might actually…” The light of hope came back to the downcast crowd as the mom idols flew away. The ball of light carried the mom idols to the entrance of a village. Before them were fields and rice paddies, horses and cows out to pasture—a pastoral idyll. Were it not for the depressions everywhere, the town seemed peaceful. “Oh my! This is Maman Village!” “Yep. This is where I sensed the problem. Personally, I don’t have the best memories of the place…and I can’t tell you which house or which parent and child are having problems.” “Then we’ll just have to ask around.” “No, wait—there’s no need to take up that much time,” Shirase-P said. “You’re going to make something up again, aren’t you? Can’t you be serious for one minute?” Medhimama demanded. “Fear not. This time it’s a legitimate technique. If you’re looking for someone, it’s better to call them to you. As idols, you have that powerful appeal.” “Idol power calls people to us? I suppose that does sound like an idol thing. But…how, specifically?” asked Kazuno. “You’re idols! Sing and dance.” Shirase-P began rummaging through her luggage and took out a small machine covered in levers and knobs, with a morning-glory-shaped trumpet on top. “This is a digital phonograph. Not only can it play music files, it also allows recording and mixing! Isn’t that splendid? I will sample a few sounds and apply them to the included rhythm patterns, creating music. You will then sing and dance to it! Go ahead!” MOM-3: Stand by! “No, no, no, no, that’s ridiculous!” “Yes! We have taken neither dancing nor singing lessons! We can’t just…!” “Let your feelings carry you.” “We can’t!” “No way! Absolutely not!” “Oh, really? It seems like one of you already is.” Shirase-P glanced behind them. Kazuno and Medhimama both turned to look. “Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmmm… And then I turn like so…oh, should I do a ‘there, there’ or a ‘good, good’ here? I just can’t decide! Hee-hee-hee.” Leaves drifting on the breeze. Birds chirping. Matching these peaceful sounds… Mamako let her body move to the rhythm, humming a melody, whispering the lyrics. She’d become a forest mom idol. Like a musical mom spirit. As Shirase-P quietly began recording, Kazuno and Medhimama stared, entranced. “Mamako…you’re amazing…” “We can’t match her. But…I find myself wanting to try…” “That’s the spirit! Let’s get started! Guerrilla concerts in the middle of the street are what new idol groups are all about!” “Yes, then—no, we can’t let her get us! Some things are simply impossible!” “Does this even count as a street?! We’re surrounded by farms! There’s nothing here but grasshoppers and frogs!” Kazuno and Medhimama returned to their senses and attempted to release themselves from Shirase-P’s grasp, but before they could… “I don’t need a mom! I can manage just fine without you! Bye-bye!” “You foolish child! Come back here! Why won’t you listen to your mother?!” A mother’s and daughter’s voices raised in anger. A five-year-old girl came racing out of the village, running toward them. Short pigtails held in place with decorative bunny faces. Definitely seemed the impish type. The mother running after her was clearly still quite young, but neither was really looking where she was going… “Aaand…bump!” Thunk. “Eeek!” Kazuno made no effort to avoid the child at all, letting the girl run straight into her and knocking her down. Kazuno then grabbed a pigtail in each hand and hauled her to her feet. “Pedal to the metal. Vroom vroom. Kidding!” “Hey! Those aren’t handles! And quit acting like my mom!” “Ah-ha-ha! I thought you’d do that. I sure did when I was your age.” The girl was pounding her fists on Kazuno’s belly but…she was five, so it was just cute. Then her mother caught up. The snarl on her youthful face suggested she’d been a wild teenager. She grabbed a fistful of Kazuno’s clothes, glaring at her. “Get your hands off my child!” she roared. “I helped you out, and this is my thanks? Sounds familiar really… I was so young myself.” “This ain’t funny! What the hell does that even mean? Who the hell are you, all dressed up in that ridiculous getup?!” “I’m just a passing mom idol. Nice to meetcha.” “Huh?! Mom idol?! Have you lost your mind?!… Uh, wait…” The mother saw the people behind Kazuno, and her eyes went wide. “M-Mamako! You’re Mamako, right?!” “Yes, I am! You remembered me?” “Of course I do! When that crazy demon who called herself the Queen of the Night showed up, you saved the village! How could I forget?!” “Crazy…? Well, I did go a bit too far, I admit.” “But, um…Mamako, what are you wearing?” The mother looked around at Mamako, Kazuno, and Medhimama, all dressed in matching idol costumes. Then… “First, let’s introduce ourselves! I’m Mom Idol Number One, Mamako Oosuki!” “And I’m Mom Idol Number Two, Night Quee—ah, to hell with it, Kazuno’s fine.” “I’m Mom Idol Number Three, Medhimama.” “Together, we are…” They rapidly took up their positions. “““The all-mom idol group, MOM-3!””” Tah-dahhh! They struck their signature pose! The mom and her little girl just gaped at them. A powerful stun effect! “Three mom idols here to tell everyone how great moms are, restore bonds between parents and children, and save the world! Hee-hee-hee.” “I-I see… Er, actually, I don’t really get it, sorry.” “So that’s why we wanted to talk to you. It seems like the two of you were fighting. What happened? Do you mind sharing?” “Uh, sure… My daughter, she just—” “Don’t touch me!” The mother had reached for her daughter, but her hand was slapped away. “Ow! What’s your problem?” “Shut up, Mom! I’m done with you and your constant scolding! You’re not my mom anymore!” “I’m not scolding you! I just said that pin is dangerous, and you should take it off!” “Nuh-uh! It’s cute! All my friends have them! I’m keeping it! If you want me to take it off, then you have to do what I say!” “Don’t be so selfish! Just listen to me—!” “Yeah, yeah, that’s enough,” Kazuno interrupted. “We ain’t got time to listen to you squabble. Give us the short version.” The mother scowled at her, and then turned to Mamako. “I’m sorry to be a bother, Mamako.” “Oh, I promise you aren’t.” “Why are you polite to her and not me? Psh, whatever.” “Anyway, you can see what she’s like. She found these dangerous pins somewhere and stuck them in her hair and insists she won’t take them off unless I do what she says. She wants me to fix the broken hot springs.” “Fix the hot springs? What does that mean? Isn’t the hot springs Maman Village’s main attraction?” “Yes, but the water in the hot springs stopped being hot. Since every house in the village is connected to the hot springs, none of us can take a bath at all. So…” “A mom who can’t even run a bath is good for nothing! If I’m just wiping myself down with a wet cloth, I can do that by myself! I don’t need a mom anymore!” “There she goes again! Stop that!” The girl stuck out her tongue and ran off. The mother gave chase, genuinely furious. “Come back here!” “No way!” They ran around and around the mom idols, like a game of tag. So… “What do we do?” asked Mamako. “Let’s assess the situation. Memama, can you bring us up to speed?” “Ahem. First, the children are growing arrogant under the influence of these pins. To restore parent-child relationships, the pins must be removed. But this child has proposed a condition for said removal. Specifically, the restoration of the hot springs. If we can achieve this goal, there is no guarantee the child will keep her end of the bargain, but it seems we have no choice but to attempt the repair. That is all.” “So first, we repair the hot springs? It does seem like a problem for everyone, so let’s take care of it!” “You make it sound easy, Mamako, but how do we do that? If there’s only cold water, there must be a problem underground somewhere…” “Assuming this has something to do with the diminishing influence of Mother Earth seems reasonable,” Shirase-P said, sneaking past the game of mother-daughter tag. “This definitely calls for the mom idols. Leave things to us! Producer/manager extraordinaire, Shirase-P, will prepare the perfect stage for you all! Heh-heh-heh!” “Wow…that’s not gonna end well, is it?” Kazuno shuddered. But Shirase-P was staring right at her… The hot water used in every Maman Village home came from the main spring at the edge of town. Like a naturally formed well, it would normally have steam rising off of it. Since hot water was flowing continually from it, if you touched it, you’d burn yourself. But now only cold water was coming out. And that ice-cold main spring was the stage for the mom idol concert. Shirase-P was checking the music machine when the Maman Village chief approached her. “Um, Shirase-P, was it? Do you have a moment? I can’t help but notice the idol group you’ve brought with you has a certain demon in it. One who attacked our village, calling herself the Queen of the Night.” “Never fear! I’m sure you know that incident was resolved peacefully. The Queen of the Night has turned over a new leaf and is now a wonderful mother in her own right. There is no cause for alarm.” “I-I suppose not. And, well…Mamako’s with her, so…fine. I’ll leave this in your hands, and we will simply watch over the results.” The chief bowed and went back to the other villagers. The entire village had gathered around the spring. Not just the mother and daughter they’d met at the village entrance, but everyone, young and old, male and female—and horse and cow. Plenty of other parents had brought their kids. All the children were wearing the pins the Libere Rebellion had scattered around and were acting unnaturally independent, trying to leave their parents’ sides. But their parents had firm grasps on their collars and were keeping them in place. The stage was set. The audience had gathered. Everything was ready. “Then let’s begin! Music, start!” Shirase-P flipped the switch on the digital phonograph, and in time with the preset rhythm, birds chirped, cows mooed, and horses whinnied. These sounds she’d gathered on-site created a very relaxed tune. MOM-3, the all-mom idol group, was here! “Ta-da! Hello, everyone! Nice to see you again. Today I’m here as Mom Idol Number One, Mamako Oosuki!” Mamako came running out from behind a tree. Not in her idol costume, but in an old-fashioned school swimsuit! “Oh! Mamako means business!” “Mamakoooo! Thanks again! We’re so happy to see you!” “She’s in such great shape! I wish I still had her figure.” “Thank you! Thank you, everyone! Hee-hee-hee!” The crowd was responding well. Perhaps they were more used to seeing swimsuits than idol costumes. Mamako was enthusiastically waving at the audience. Behind her… “Why swimsuits?! This makes no sense!” “I never thought I’d wear one here…and I hate myself for coming prepared…” Looking extremely unhappy about it, Kazuno and Medhimama stepped out from behind the tree. Also in swimsuits. Kazuno had a slender figure, much like her daughter. She wore a standard bikini. Medhimama was wearing the same scandalous adult suit she’d flaunted at the academy pool. “Idols two and three! Smile! Your fans await.” “You’re asking too much! Forcing us to change into swimsuits here…for what?!” “Don’t worry! There’s a good reason for it. Mamako’s getting the crowd warmed up, so start your idol activities! Go on, Kazuno.” Shirase-P pointed at the main springs, where cold water surged forth. “Er…me? What do you…?” “Jump in.” “Huh?! What for?! It’s cold! I’ll get hypothermia!” “Oh, I forgot to mention. Make sure you jump in comically.” “Are you even listening?! What kind of idol goes around jumping into cold water anyway?! This is more like a two-bit travel documentary. I’m not doing it!” Kazuno was vehemently opposed. “Then I will!” Mamako raised her hand. “No, I will!” Medhimama did, too. “Then go ahead!” Kazuno stuck to her guns. Shirase-P leaned in, whispering in her ear. “Any real idol knows sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself for a laugh.” “Not very convincing…” “Then let’s put it this way. This is how you pay for the trouble you caused as the Queen of the Night. Put a little effort into your atonement. You get the crowd all excited, then you warm the water up with your magic, and then you all live happily ever after. How does that sound?” “Argh…i-if you put it that way…then I guess I have to! Damn it!” She clearly did feel some guilt. Kazuno gritted her teeth and strode toward the springs. The villagers watched curiously as she knelt down at the edge of the springs. “Um…w-wow, that looks cold… Mamako, Memama, don’t you dare push—” “Oh my. Do excuse me.” Shove! “I wasn’t even done yet! Aughh!!” Medhimama caught on a little too fast, and Kazuno plunged headfirst into the water. “C-c-c-coooold!” “Good! Keep it up!” Kazuno looked ready to freeze to death, but Shirase-P just shot her a thumbs-up. No concern for Kazuno’s well-being. “This is outrageous! Are you trying to kill me?! B-but…if this gets the villagers all excited…” Her nose running, Kazuno looked hopefully toward the crowd. But they were all just gaping at her. “Crickets, huh?! Not even smiles?! …Argh! Fine—if you all won’t get heated up, then I’ll have to provide the heat! Just rein it in a bit, and… Flusso di Lava!” A massive magic tome appeared in her hand, and the spell activated. A tiny amount of magma rose up beneath the spring, and the water warmed up immediately. “Much better! Ooh, that’s nice and warm… Well, villagers? What do you say?” “It’s warm… You mean, the hot springs are back?” “Look! There’s steam rising off it! Our hot springs are restored!” “The mom idols fixed it! MOM-3 is amazing!” The villagers cheered, gathering around the edge of the spring. They put their hands in the water, making sure the temperature was right, letting out cries of joy. Mamako and Medhi also slipped into the hot springs, smiling. “Oh my! The temperature’s perfect! Kazuno, good work!” said Mamako. “Ha-ha! It was light work for me.” “But won’t it go back to being cold the moment you undo the spell?” asked Medhimama. “Yeah. It’s just an emergency fix, won’t fool anyone but children…but hopefully enough to make these stubborn kids listen to reason.” Kazuno glanced to one side. The squabbling mother and daughter were nearby. “So, kid?” Kazuno said. “The hot springs are back. You gonna listen to your mom now?” “Huh? Uh, umm…” The girl seemed genuinely surprised. She looked at the water, then Kazuno, then her mother. Then she hid the bunny pins with both hands, turning her back.
Chapter 155
21 min read