Chapter 156

“N-no! Mom didn’t fix the hot springs! I’m not taking these off, ever!” “This again…?” “Ah-ha-ha!” Kazuno laughed. “Didn’t fool her, huh? Oh, well. Fine, then. Do whatever you like.” “Huh…?” The girl gaped at Kazuno. “What are you…?” Medhimama hissed. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” Mamako said, stopping her. Kazuno had an idea. She was acting like she didn’t care, but she was watching the little girl carefully. “I can keep the pins?” “Sure. Leave ’em on!” “What? You can’t tell her that! She can’t—” “Sure she can! If kids won’t listen, let ’em do what they want. That’s one way to resolve these things. That’s how I raised my daughter.” Kazuno took her eyes off the kid, gazing up at the sky. “You’re a mother—you know how it goes. We all struggle with our daughters being just like us even in ways we don’t want them to be. Especially if you’re selfish and stubborn—they’ll definitely get those in spades, and that guarantees you’ll butt heads. Constantly.” “Well…you’re right. That hits way too close to home.” “Best way to handle that is to give each other some space until you both cool off. That doesn’t mean abandoning her. But if you love your daughter, taking some time apart and waiting until you can speak calmly to her is really important. And if you still can’t keep your cool, sometimes you just need to throw down. But that’s for another time.” “But if something happens while we’re apart…” “Well, you can always just keep an eye on her. Worry your little heart out, never mind what you’re fighting over. It ain’t easy to worry about someone you’re mad at, but…if you’re serious about this mom thing, I’m sure you can do it.” And with that, Kazuno started washing her face. Embarrassed by her own heartfelt speech, she felt her face turn red, so she began splashing hot water on it…which seemed likely to increase her circulation and make her turn even redder. The mother thought for a moment, and then turned to her daughter. “Wh-what, Mom? I’m not taking these bunnies off!” “That’s okay. Do what you like. You can do whatever you want.” “Huh? …I can?” “But in return, if anything happens because of those pins, I’m not going to help. I’m washing my hands of the whole thing.” With that made clear, the mother refused to say another word. The girl gave her a long, searching look. “Then I don’t need ’em,” she said. She took the bunny pins off her hairbands and threw them to the ground. “Huh? Er, what? Why’d you…?” “I said I don’t need ’em, so I don’t need ’em! Mm!” “Uh…what…?” The girl had leaped into her mother’s arms and was rubbing her face against her belly. Like a totally spoiled child. This mother was too young and inexperienced to know what this meant. She just looked confused. But the mom idols had been through it all and knew exactly how children worked. They’d all seen this coming and were nodding happily. “Even if the pin makes her try to be mature and push herself, she’s still so young—that’s as far as it could take things. She was only fighting you because she wanted your attention.” “That’s what children do. Hee-hee-hee. Well done, Kazuno.” “Oh, stop. I didn’t do a thing.” “That’s hardly the case. I mean…look.” Looking around them, things were changing. Shirase-P was in the water next to Kazuno, in a black bikini. “When did you—?!” “I got changed right away.” No matter. Other children were staring at the little girl and getting jealous. “Mommyyy!” “Wha…where’d this come from?” One after another, they threw their pins away, and leaped into the embrace of their moms. Or clung to their arms, swinging. And then the ground began to change, too. The depressions around them slowly filled in, returning to their original shape. And not just around the spring, either—all the depressions around Maman Village and beyond were restored. The restoration was spreading far and wide. “With the unnatural independence resolved, and the mothers’ emotions back to normal, Mother Earth has recovered, too. Just as we expected. A brilliant result.” “Nicely done, Kazuno. This one was all yours.” “S-stop that already! I just…I didn’t…h-huh?” As an embarrassed smile flicked across Kazuno’s lips, another change occurred—right in front of her. The steam around them swirled, coalesced…and transformed into a palm-sized crystal. Pulsing with a gentle light, it moved toward Kazuno’s bosom—and vanished inside her. Kazuno obtained the Parental Bond Let Them Be! “I…seem to have acquired something. Shirase-P, do you know what this is?” “Gasp! I can’t believe it… That is your bond with your child, Kazuno! If you follow that bond, it’ll take you to your daughter—to the unknown location of the enemy lair! I’m sure it’s a quest item.” “You make that sound convincing, but it’s a guess, right?” Medhimama scowled. “It sure is. I just made it up,” Shirase-P said with utter confidence. “As we resolve problems in different districts, we’ll obtain these quest items! Once we’ve collected all of them, our path forward will open! Classic RPG design. It is a legitimate possibility.” “Well, if you say so, I’m sure that’s how it works, Shirase-P! Hee-hee-hee.” “Then I’ll pretend to be convinced. Let’s use our Idol Sensors and head to the next location.” “I’ll prepare us for departure,” said Shirase-P. “…Oh, Kazuno, you can stay where you are just a bit longer. I’m expecting a good reaction on your part.” “Roger that. As a reward for my hard efforts, I’m gonna have a nice long soak… Huh? Reaction?” Mamako and Medhimama had both stood up and were holding out their hands, concentrating. Shirase-P was busy collecting the audio equipment. A few moments later, Kazuno leaped out of the water. “Hotttttt!” she yowled, rolling across the ground. With the power of the earth restored, the hot springs were back to their original temperature: very, very hot. “Ha-ha! That old lady’s funny!” “Old?!” Her comedy act had the whole village in stitches. At last her sacrifices had borne fruit. This was how an idol should live! Meanwhile… “…Oh, is that…?” “Medhimama? Have you sensed something?” “Yes. It’s quite clear. Our next destination…is Mahweh. The school town.” Medhimama savored the name and the memories it brought with it. Once they were done changing, the mom idols said good-bye to the villagers and took a transport spell to Mahweh. The sight of three moms in idol costumes (and Shirase-P staggering under the weight of her luggage) left the townsfolk frozen in their tracks, mouths agape. Even those who kept moving were so busy staring, they accidentally tumbled into a depression. The place of learning in the town’s center stood as it always had, projecting an air of refined dignity. “So that’s the school…pretty big place, huh? Wow…” “Your first time here, Kazuno?” “I saw a photo in one of the reports management sent me on what my idiot daughter was up to.” “I believe this was just another inn town while you were still active in the game, Kazuno. Somebody—I won’t say who—made an aggressive plea to management that the game was sorely lacking in educational facilities, and we were forced to make an emergency update adding one. I won’t say who.” She didn’t say it, but Shirase-P’s eyes were certainly locked on the person in question. “W-well, enough talk! Let’s move forward!” “Ah-ha. Attempting to distract us, I see.” “Ho-ho-ho! I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shirase-P. What matters is that somewhere in this town is a problem for us to solve. Where could it be? Oh! The children would be in class at this hour, so we should probably start there.” The unnamed founder of the school, Medhimama, led the group forward, directly toward the school gates. But as they got closer, things took a baffling turn. “…Oh, my! What could that mean?” The school gates were barred with iron fencing. If this was done to prevent crime, there was nothing wrong with it—but the people the fencing barred from entering were wearing professorial gowns. The school’s teachers. Among the baffled faculty was a large, well-built man. “Is that… Oh, it is! Mr. Burly.” “Yes! Hello, Mr. Burly.” “Mm? I know that voice…Mamako Oosuki! And…Medhimama?!” Mr. Burly turned around and stared at one mom, then the other. Also… “Ohhh, you’re really ripped.” “Uh, thanks…?” …He had one last shocked stare for Kazuno, who had her hands all over him. “W-well, what a treat!” he bellowed. “The former headmaster-by-proxy, companions! What a lovely sight you are! Gah-ha-ha!” Seeing the mothers of academy graduates all decked out in idol costumes had been a shock, but he’d overcome it. Mr. Burly’s fortitude knew no bounds. “Welcome, welcome! I can’t tell you how pleased I am to see you, Mamako.” “I’m delighted as well! Lovely to see you in such good spirits. It seems like there’s rather a lot of teachers gathered here…” “We’ve upped our staffing levels! Thanks to your help with our test run, the academy is in full swing, with many more teachers and students. Well, there are still some shortcomings there…” They looked around the teaching staff again. More than half the faces were ASCII art—rushed implementations. “We’re still extremely short staffed. I do apologize,” Shirase-P said on behalf of the management. “No, no, don’t worry about it,” Mamako insisted. “Stop right there! That is hardly the point Mamako was trying to make, was it?” Medhimama said, index finger snapping forward. “Say, Mr. Burly. Shouldn’t you be in class right now?” “Y-yes, I should, but…” “Then why are all the teachers standing outside? This is most peculiar. Highly irregular. Teachers belong in the classroom, instructing their students!” “I-I’m well aware of that,” Mr. Burly said, deflating under the force of Medhimama’s wrath. “That is how things should be. But…I’m afraid the students have staged a coup d’état and banished the faculty from the school grounds.” Mr. Burly bowed apologetically. “…Huh? A coup?!” “Yes. No armed force was involved, but the students suddenly challenged us to a battle on our individual subjects and…” “And the teachers lost?!” “I’m afraid so. We may have underestimated them but…the students’ sudden development was simply astounding. As a teacher, I should be delighted…but given the outcome of the battles…” “You were forced to obey the students and vacate the premises. I cannot believe my ears.” “I make no excuses.” Mr. Burly was down on his knees before her. “Medhimama, perhaps that’s enough…” Mamako said. “Mr. Burly, did you notice anything different about the students? Were they, perhaps, wearing some unusual pins?” “That they were! Not pins for children, more like school crests but…I suspect those were the items the whole town is talking about, the ones that make children grow up too fast.” “If you knew that, why didn’t you take them away? Confiscating prohibited items is all part of a teacher’s job.” Kazuno was right, and Mr. Burly knew it. “Our school’s mission is to educate would-be adventurers. We actively teach the importance of equipping items that will raise your stats! We can hardly tell them to make an exception here.” “Oh well…yes, if they’re adventurers…” “We’re well aware that the source of these items is unknown, but learning from mistakes is vital, so we allowed them to wear the pins. We find ourselves forced to view this state of affairs as part of an adventurer’s ongoing education.” The other teachers nodded their agreement. If this was how the school educational philosophy chose to handle the matter, the assembled moms could hardly argue with it. “But that aside, we do have one serious concern,” Mr. Burly added gravely. “If word spreads that the students have occupied the school…we fear the outcry could get out of hand.” No sooner than the words left his mouth than a pack of women turned the corner, heading up the road. All middle-aged, all dressed up, all looking incredibly stern. The moment they saw the women approaching, a shudder ran through the faculty. “O-oh, no! They’re here!” “They certainly seem quite worked up. Who do you think they are?” “Those would be the students’ guardians! Including the strictest parents, those most devoted to their children’s educations—the PTA members! Ah, we’re in trouble now!” “An army of education mothers…I see. They all look like your type, Memama.” “How rude! I’m not like them. Mr. Burly, time to face the music.” “R-right…” Mr. Burly abandoned his efforts to hide behind Mamako. Or rather, Medhimama bodily hauled him out in front of the crowd. He bowed low, and the PTA formed ranks before him. At least twenty women, all staring daggers at him. The mother at the front of the pack shot a momentary glance at the mom idols and frowned. But then her attention shifted back to Mr. Burly. “Hello, Mr. Burly. I take it you’re in charge? Let’s get right down to business…” “Y-yes! What brings you here today?” “Ho-ho-ho! None of that, Mr. Burly. I hardly need to spell it out. I hear the students have occupied the school! Is this true?” “I’m afraid so…I’m…at a loss for words. I could apologize, but…” He lowered his head, unable to meet her eye. Sensing weakness, the entire pack pounced! “Apologies won’t fix the problem! Will they, Mr. Burly?” “If the teachers had maintained control, this would never have happened!” “I-I’m aware of that…” “We trusted you with our children and this is what happens?!” “How could the school have raised our children into the kinds of thugs who would do such a thing?!” “N-no, we haven’t—” “If this blemish on our children’s records impacts their future, we’ll hold you responsible! Do you have a plan to fix this?” “This is caused by educational neglect! This is the faculty’s fault! You admit it yourself, correct?!” “Yes, I accept full responsibility. Our shortcomings…” The verbal lashings of the PTA had left Mr. Burly in critical condition. His soul’s HP gauge was rapidly dwindling and was now a candle in the wind. The mom idols behind him shifted uncomfortably. “I know how the guardians feel, but…this is hardly pleasant to watch,” said Shirase-P. “Yes…they should at least let Mr. Burly say his piece,” agreed Mamako. “It’s not like it was entirely thoughtless on his part.” “They need to calm down. Maybe if we spray water on them, they’ll cool off.” Kazuno took out her tome, but… “You should be ashamed of yourselves! Settle down this instant!” A voice rang out, silencing the crowd. Medhimama was striding toward the PTA, all eyes on her. “You’re all wailing like a pack of children! Have you no dignity at all? For shame!” “Wh…someone dressed like you can hardly be lecturing us on shame or dignity!” “Oh my! You take issue with my outfit? The nerve! These clothes were given to me by the Queen of Catharn! Do you wish to be jailed for lèse-majesté?” “Er…the queen? Those clothes? Y-you’re kidding, right?” “It’s the truth. Now…” Medhimama fixed her sights on the first mother to speak, the leader of the PTA pack. “I have a question for you. Have you heard about these pins that cause unnatural maturation in children? Answer me!” “O-of course! Everyone knows. We’ve seen the reports.” “Then naturally you removed such pins from your own children.” “Well…” The leader had no response. Her eyes wandered, searching for a way out. “The school allows accessories, so…if anything happens, it’s up to the school to…” “I’m not asking about the school. You’ve come to the wrong shop to shift the blame, lady. I’m asking what actions you took as a mother. Go on, spit it out.” “Ack…I-I mean if the children grow up faster, their grades will improve! That’s a good thing! I know they’re dangerous, but I can’t tell them not to wear something like that! That’s how mothers think! You all agree, right?” “Y-yes…” “Our children’s development matters more than anything…” The mothers around her nodded, but none of them met Medhimama’s eyes. Medhimama sighed dramatically. “You were perfectly aware of the problems with them, but you prioritized your children’s grades and allowed it. And you call yourselves mothers. You’re as foolish as I used to be,” she said. A bitter murmur. Medhimama turned her back, facing the closed gates. “Mr. Burly. Are there any issues with the guardian of a graduate entering school grounds?” “Er…? Uh, let me see. Generally speaking, only current students, teachers, and guardians of current students are allowed on the school grounds. So, guardians of former students would not be allowed, no.” “Oh? Then we’ll just have to go in as idols.” “Huh? Idols? Idols…aren’t specifically restricted, but…what?” “Kazuno, these iron bars are in our way.” “Got it! Bomba Sfera.” Kazuno shot an energy bomb, which struck the gates, causing a massive explosion. The iron bars and the gates were shattered into pieces. They could now enter the school grounds! “Oh dear…was that all right?” “Not generally speaking, no,” replied Shriase-P. “But Mom Idol Number Three is both detail-oriented and very forceful…let’s call it characterization and approve.” “I’m honored by your praise. Come, everyone. Let’s move.” With Medhimama in the lead, everyone headed through the remains of the gates. “With parents like these, the children must be suffering. We must correct this mistake and restore their bonds. By first joining their classes! Ho-ho-ho!” As the teachers and PTA posse stared in stunned horror, the mom idols commenced their assault. Skirting depressions in the school yard, they made their way into the building. It was quiet. No one in the halls, not a single sound to be heard. “Since they’ve occupied the school, I expected more of an uproar…” “But it’s very relaxed. What a relief!” “It appears there is no damage to the property. Since the teachers willingly vacated the premises, that sort of violence was avoided. A wise decision.” “Thank you. Praise from the former headmaster is most welcome. Gah-ha-ha!” “Class is in progress. Silence!” “Oh, right. Sorry.” Worried, Mr. Burly had chosen to accompany the mothers. And… “…Oh, you came along?” “I-I am the guardian of a current student! I have the right to know what’s going on with my child.” “Go ahead, suit yourself. But classes are in progress, so keep it down.” “I know! You are so spiteful! Humph.” Similar types rarely get along. Sparks flew between Medhimama and the head of the PTA pack, but the latter clearly wasn’t planning to stand down. Searching for the students, they found their way to a hall filled with ordinary classrooms. Suddenly, the mother broke into a run, stopped outside a classroom door, and puffed herself up with pride. “Medhimama, was it? I imagine you’re unaware, so allow me to explain. This is the honors class! My daughter is a member. Ha!” “Oh myyyy, is she? Well, let’s see how she’s doing.” “Go on! Observe how accomplished she is with your own eyes!” Medhimama opened the door a crack, peering inside. “Squeeze in!” “No pushing!” The annoying mother did the same. Inside, uniformed students were sitting at their desks, focused on their studies. The only sound was the scratching of their pencils. “See? That one there! My daughter. Class president. Ho-ho-ho! When I heard they’d occupied the school, I couldn’t believe it, but see? She’s still studying. She’s doing exactly what I say!” “Yes. She certainly appears to be…but you’re missing one thing.” “I am…?” Medhimama could see the black cloud hovering over the students—the aura of dark power. If you listened closely, you could hear them whispering: “If I get better grades, I can skip a year and graduate early… Get results, graduate school, and leave home forever… Get away from my parents and live free…” And not just the class president. All the students were whispering their desire to leave home, studying like they were possessed. When the mother realized this, she gasped. “Oh no…they’re working this hard so they can leave us? That’s why…?!” “Perhaps she was originally very close to you. But the pins foster a desire for independence. Perhaps the reason they drove the teachers out was because they encouraged good relations with their parents. Either way…” Medhimama grabbed the mother by the collar and pulled her away from the door. Seeing Mamako’s anxious look, Medhimama gave her a quick smile, then huddled up with the PTA mom. “This is the result of your actions. What do you plan to do about it?” “I…I just wanted her to grow up right. I never imagined that would mean she’d leave me…” “Then we’ll have to get rid of that creepy pin, and get her heart back at your side, where it belongs.” “But how? It’s too late…” “That’s easy!” Medhimama flung the door open and stepped into the class. “Good morning, everyone! Mind if I interrupt your studies? …Come, Mamako, Kazuno! Hurry up!” “Oh, right! Coming!” “Er…uh, we’re really doing this?” “This is an idol’s role! Of course we are. Line up!” While the students gaped at them, the three moms lined up at the front of the class. This time Medhimama took the center, with Mamako and Kazuno flanking her. One, two… “““We’re MOM-3, the all-mom idol group!””” Group pose: Nailed. The three of them were getting good at this! The students were still staring in shock. The moms’ grand entrance elicited neither cheers nor applause, but they paid no attention to that. Subtly scoping out the pins on the boys’ collars and the girls’ scarves, Medhimama addressed the crowd. “Assume that we are idols brought here to be teachers for a day! I have a question for you, students. Is this really want you want? Here you are, occupying the school, and you’re just studying like you always do? How boring!” “…But that’s what’s most important right now,” the class president said. “Leave us to it! Weird people in weird clothes babbling about being mom idols have no right to interfere with my life plans.” This was the daughter of the mother in the hall, who was watching with bated breath along with Shirase-P and Mr. Burly. But no matter how dead the eyes staring back at her, Medhimama responded with a smile. “Studying is more important? But why is that important?” “So we can be independent and contribute to society.” “Oh my! What a textbook answer. You think you can contribute to society and live a wonderful life just because you studied what school has to teach you? Heh. Children.” “Wh-what’s that supposed to mean? I didn’t say anything wrong!” “Oh, but you did.” These words were like a slap to the face, and her glare silenced the class president. Medhimama turned around and wrote a single word on the chalkboard. Play. It was somewhat crooked. “Medhimama, you have bad handwriting?” “Shut up!” It wasn’t that bad. And that wasn’t the point here. Dusting the chalk off her fingers, Medhimama turned back toward the students. “School is a time both for learning and for play. You can’t just study. So come on! Play! You’ve occupied the school! You can do whatever you want!” “You can’t just say that and expect us to…” “My parents said I can play all I want once I grow up!” “That’s wrong. If you don’t play as children, you won’t learn how. If you don’t know how to play, and how not to play too hard, then you’ll make fatal errors as a grown-up. It’s a very real danger.” “Well…yeah, I know some adults like that…” “So while you still have a guardian to take responsibility, you need to cut loose! Not that we appreciate having to cover for your blunders, but, well…that’s just another thing only parents get to experience. As a mother myself, that’s how I look at it.” “I see…that does sound like an advantage.” The students were starting to get on board. It wasn’t like they’d ever had anything against fun. One after another, they stopped studying, their attention shifting to Medhimama. The noise level in the classroom rose until… “Stop that right now!” the class president roared. The room fell silent again. But Medhimama stood her ground. Looking utterly confident. Here it comes. Medhimama’s trademark single-breath word torrent! “Oh? What are you yelling about? Sorrrry, I suppose you must not know how to play at all. Oh, dear, oh, dear. Such a shame. I should have known. If you’re good at studying, naturally you have no idea how to even begin playing. You poor thing.” “Wha?! D-don’t be ridiculous! I’m the class president! I’m the best at studying and playing!” “Oh, don’t try to force it, dear. You only think of a school as a place to study and have never even considered playing. Yes, a complete failure of initiative. If you don’t know how to play, that’s how you turn out. Poor thing. I do pity you.” “No, I…even at school…I play! At the festival or…the appropriate times! But that’s only once a year and…I’m sure my mother would say to prioritize studying even then…” “Oh? You want to be independent but you’re doing what your mother says?” “Th-that’s not what—” “Don’t worry, I’m not making fun of you. I’m actually impressed! I have great hopes for you.” Medhimama had wound her up so much, she was clearly blurting out what she really felt. Even under the pin’s influence, the girl’s bond with her mother was still intact. Medhimama pressed her advantage. “Mr. Burly, if you could step inside for a moment.” “Y-yes! Coming!” Mr. Burly hustled in. The students all braced themselves, but he waved one of his beefy hands to settle them. “Mr. Burly, will you grant permission for a student festival? Oh, and permission for a MOM-3 live performance as well. You have the authority, yes?” “A school festival…well, I suppose there is precedent for surprise festivals here…” “Mr. Burly?” Medhimama shot him a reproachful glare. He suddenly got it. “Oh no, I’m afraid that wouldn’t do at all. We can’t have a festival without the approval of the parents and guardians. Perhaps if the PTA members were all on board, or…” “Oh my! Such a shame. Too bad.” Mamako and Kazuno had figured out what she and Mr. Burly were up to. All four of them looked at each other, waiting. “Then allow me to grant permission!” Shirase-P had pushed the class president’s mother into the room. The rest was up to her. Medhimama stepped aside, leaving the mother and Mr. Burly facing each other down. “I think a school festival sounds like a grand idea! I’m entirely in favor of it. You have my approval! All these children work so hard, so why not make a special exception and let them play today?” “I see…then…hmm…very well! Today we’ll be holding a surprise festival!” “Whaaa…M-Mr. Burly?! Mom?! You’re sure?!” “Of course! Your mom doesn’t change her mind. For the rest of the day, play to your hearts’ content! Come, hurry up and get this festival ready. Oh, but first, we mustn’t get your uniforms dirty. Best to change into something you can move around in.” “““Yeah! Festivaaaal!””” The boys cast off their jackets, and the girls their scarves. Expressions of pure joy spread across their faces…and the next moment, the pins fell to the floor with a clatter. Seeing the problem resolved, the mom idol group gathered around a very proud Medhimama and clapped hands. Time for the Gioco Accademia adventurer academy crown jewel—the surprise school festival! Thanks to the technological power of the game world, decorations, displays, and shops alike were all pulled from existing data, and set up in less than an hour. The starting gun signaled the festival opening, and the crowds flooded in. The depressions in the road leading to the school gates had filled in, and the crowd’s progress was unimpeded. Not just the crowd of overbearing, education-obsessed moms—every parent and guardian had been informed, and they were all here. PARENT-CHILD PAIRS GET A SPECIAL BONUS! These ads meant most students were exploring the festival with parents in tow. “Say ahhh!” “Stop that!” The boys looked slightly ashamed, but they would. And the mom idols were observing the festival from behind the table set up on the event stage. At least, those who had the spare time to observe. “That was a pretty good stunt,” Kazuno said, resting her chin on one hand as she watched the crowds. “I thought it was lovely. Okay, all done! Thank you for supporting MOM-3, the mom idols! Hee-hee-hee!” Mamako had been too busy with her hands to spare a glance at the festival. “My class did a play at our high school festival. That was the last time I was onstage…actually pretty mortifying in hindsight.” Medhimama, like Kazuno, had nothing better to do than people watch. The mom idols were holding an autograph event. There was a long line of fans—in front of Mamako. Kazuno and Medhimama glanced at it and sighed. “…The popularity balance in this group is totally lopsided. Makes us look bad.” “Mamako is already world-class famous. No point griping about it now, Kazuno.” “S-sorry…I don’t want this to be a competition… There, all done! Thanks for your support! Hee-hee-hee.” “Don’t worry about me. I’m only joking. I learned my lesson about trying to compete with you long ago. Still…” “Having absolutely nobody ask for our autographs is still sad. I’d like to at least beat Kazuno!” “I’m not about to let that happen! I’ll—” “If you don’t mind?” The class president’s mother was standing in front of Medhimama. Her tone was as haughty as ever…but she bowed her head, and held out an autograph card. “Oh my! That is a surprise. You want my autograph? Did my efforts earlier turn you into a fan?” “Let’s not get carried away. That’s not it. You taught me a lesson, and as much as that vexes me, I wanted to get a word from you on paper. It can be a harsh rebuke or whatever you like. Just make it snappy.” “Oh? In that case…” Medhimama picked up a pen and wrote: Mothers should be as strict with themselves as they are with their children. The size of the letters was all over the place, and the sentence went rather diagonal toward the end. “I knew it…!” “Shut up!” Medhimama had turned bright red. Then she looked down at her own bad handwriting. “I’m hardly a perfect mother myself. I’m always trying to be, but I never quite succeed. Consequently, I’ve had no end of setbacks raising my own daughter. I’ve made life quite hard for her.” “…So how did you change?” “I apologized. And she was furious with me. After all the time I spent bossing her around and forcing her into stuff, how dare I try to fix it now? She had my number. But I felt I owed her that apology. Being strict with yourself means casting pride aside. If you really put your daughter’s needs first, you have no choice.” “How’s she doing now?” “Our relationship is much improved. At least…I believe it is. Perhaps that’s just wishful thinking on my part.” Medhimama smiled and held out the card. The mother took it from her, looked it over, and turned to go. “Honestly, I still can’t bring myself to like you…but you’ve given me food for thought. I’ll put this card somewhere I’m sure to see it daily, as a reminder to myself.” Her daughter had been waiting at a distance. She bowed, took her mother’s arm, and they left. And… “Oh? Is this…?” A glowing crystal appeared in front of Medhimama and was absorbed into her bosom. Medhimama obtained the Parental Bond Tough Love! “Oh dear…getting this just makes me want to see my daughter even more.” “Hee-hee-hee. Of course you do. You want to rush right to her side.” “Well, we solved the problem, and Memama got her quest item. Let’s head to the next place. Also, I still haven’t signed anything, and it’s getting depressing.” Mamako had finally wrapped up the last of her line. Medhimama was looking terribly proud, and Kazuno extremely disgruntled. “Then let’s have you write in this, Kazuno,” Shirase-P said, appearing beside her with a notebook. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! …Write what?” “The lyrics to the song you’re all going to sing! The school band helped out, and we’ve completed the music. Your concert is starting in five minutes, so do hurry.” “I’ve never written lyrics befo—wait, what? A concert? In five minutes?!” “Come to think of it, I did ask Mr. Burly to approve our performance…” “Memama! Why would you do that?! Five minutes to write a song we all have to sing?!” “Well, we agreed to do it, so we’re doing it. Be strict with yourself! That is my motto as a mother, and as a mom idol. Come, Kazuno! Make sure we’re ready.” “Kazuno, Medhimama! This is our first concert! Let’s make it a big success! Yay!” “Even Mamako’s into this?!” cried Kazuno. Mamako had leaped to her feet and was now doing stretches to work out the stiffness from her marathon autograph session. She held her arms out in front of her… And her Idol Sensor activated! Mamako knew at once where they needed to go next. “This is…oh, dear! There’s a war going on in Thermo!” Everyone immediately tensed. Following Mamako’s memories, the group took a teleport spell to the town of Thermo. The town entrance was flooded with people, all carrying a ton of luggage. When the mom idols appeared, several glanced their way…but most were staring at the town landmark, the tower dungeon on the coast. They all looked anxious. Piercing the very sky, the Solo-Killer Tower had plumes of smoke rising from the base. In the distance they could hear grunts and the clash of metal. “Goodness! What a fuss! We’d better hurry!” They pushed through the crowd and reached the coastal road. This gave them a better view of the situation. A crowd of young adventurers, heavily armed, were racing across the bridge to Solo-Killer Tower Island. Meanwhile, another group of adventurers were defending a barricade in front of the tower. They were holding their ground, but the fighting was fierce. Kazuno and Medhimama frowned, examining the battlefield. “They’re really going at it! That tower is…?” “If you reach the top, you can have any wish granted, yes? You all cleared it, right, Mamako? I remember seeing it in my daughter’s progress reports.” “Yes, we did! You can’t climb the tower without a lot of people, so we made a guild, gathered party members…oh, and this is where we first met Amante!” “Mamako, this is no time to reminisce,” said Shirase-P. She was watching the battle through a pair of binoculars. “The situation seems grim.” The army attacking the barricade wore pins with the kanji for mom written upside-down—the mark of Libere Rebellion, meaning these were the pins that accelerated growth in children. The defense was being handled by a number of rough-looking adventurers and several mothers in full armom—armor versions of normal mom-wear. The mom idols each took a turn with the binoculars, gasping. “Oh dear! Those are the mom guild members! And their children!” “The attackers all look like a bunch of kids, which means…” “Terrible thoughts infected their minds, giving them violent desires. And Mamako’s friends rose up to stop them. Then…” “We have to back them up! Yay!” “I dunno about ‘Yay’ but…how do we even get over there?” The only way to the island was the bridge…which was absolutely packed with young adventurers. Maybe a boat? But all the boats in the harbor had fallen into depressions in the water. There were none left in usable condition. Kazuno thought for a moment, then pulled out her magic tome. “Eh, worth a shot…Grado Zero Assoluto!” She stood at the water’s edge near the bridge, casting her spell toward the ocean surface. The ocean’s dulled power had left the sea calm, with no waves at all—but now extreme cold blew over it, rapidly freezing the water. And the frozen part moved straight ahead—forming an ice passage all the way to Solo-Killer Tower! “Not bad. I mean…it’ll be slippery.” “Well, we’ll just have to be very careful! Let’s go!” “Wait, Mamako. You can’t crab-walk across this thing—you’re an idol! I suggest you use a sleigh. Much more elegant.” “Sleigh? But…where would we find…” “I, Shirase-P, can info-P you that I have an idea. Leave it to me! Medhimama, hold this,” she said, handing her the digital phonograph. “Your ideas just fill me with dread…,” Medhimama whispered. Shirase-P stepped onto the ice. She immediately slipped and fell. “Augh!” And cracked her head on the ice. Shirase-P was dead. Her body was soon inside a coffin. The party obtained a coffin-shaped sleigh! “This really does not sit right with me…but if we wasted Shirase-P’s sacrifice, heaven only knows what she’d say to us later,” said Medhimama. “Fine, everyone on board! Let’s make a quick entrance.” “Then I’ll turn that digital phonograph on!” “And I’ll rocket us over! Bomba Vento!” A blast of wind, and the coffin sleigh swept the mom idols along. All eyes on the bridge turned toward them. “Mm? Yo, what the hell? Something’s on the water!” “Listen up, boys! …Uh, aren’t we going too fast?!” said Medhimama. “L-let’s just introduce ourselves!” shouted Kazuno. “I’m Mom Idol Number—nope, too late…” “MOM-3 will soon…aughhh…” “…What was that?” “……No clue.” The mom idols struck their group pose, but the Doppler effect made their words unintelligible, and they whooshed past the bridge in a blur. They could soon see the battle for the tower with the naked eye. Pocchi, the mohawk-sporting thug Mamako had reformed, was there with his mother. The two of them were standing side by side at the head of a mixed team of moms and thugs, desperately forcing back the onslaught of adventurers. “C’mon, Pocchi! Don’t be mean! Pull your punches!” “I know! They’re adventurers, too! They ain’t gonna die that easy!” “Wha?! Whoa!” Pocchi grabbed a boy as he tried to climb the barricade, tore the pin off his chest, and threw both the adventurer and the pin into the ocean. As he did, he saw a coffin with three passengers rocketing toward them. “Mm? That…oh! Mamako! We’ve been expecting you! …Uh, that outfit is definitely unexpected, though…” “Pocchi! Everyone! We’re coming! One, two…” “Hello! We’re the mom idols!” “MOM-3! Pleased to meet you.” The moment they reached the island, the mom idols jumped, landing safely on the ground! They nailed their group pose! Perfect mom idol arrival! Behind them, the speeding coffin sleigh slammed into the tower wall. “I’ll handle Shirase-P.” “I’ll resurrect her.” Kazuno and Medhimama hustled over, leaving Mamako to race over to Pocchi’s gang. “It’s been far too long! How have you been?” “Great! Thanks. Masato’s not with you?” “Oh, it really is Mamako! You look extra fabulous today.” “Always so young! Makes me jealous. What’s the secret to your youth?” “I brought some tea and cookies! Let’s have a little break and chat…” “Yo, moms! This ain’t no time for a chat! Remember what’s going on here?!” The moms had started converging like they were at a watercooler, not the front lines of a brutal battle. Magic attacks were thundering against the barricade, fire and shards of ice spitting through the gaps. “Mamako, listen! I’ll make it snappy! As you can see, Rebellion crews have gathered to wipe parents from the world! They must’ve heard the dungeon reward got reset! We’re busy fending ’em off!” “Got it! Then let us help!” “No! Mamako, you hurry to the top! Given the situation…well, we figured you’d show up, so we cleared everything but the top floor! All you have to do is get up there and make that wish!” “Er…we get to make the wish? Are you sure?” “We considered wishing for a solution to this mess! But we don’t really know what’s going on! We figured it wouldn’t be enough just to quell this conflict. But I bet you do!” “Yes. The problem is much deeper than this one. We became idols to solve all such problems!” “Then we’ll let you handle it! Go on! …Yo, Mom! Lead them to the warp floor.” “Right! Mom’s got it! …Come, Mamako! Shiraaase and the rest of your party, get moving! This way!” “At the moment I am called Shirase-P—but perhaps this isn’t the time. Let’s go.” The mom idols and their producer/manager followed Pocchi’s mother to the tower doors. They paused outside, waiting for the tower to count them. “Hey, wait! Damn! …Yo, mohawk! You’re in the freakin’ way! What the hell’s wrong with you?! Only a lunatic would fight on the side of moms! You oughta be ashamed of yourself!” “What’s wrong with adventuring with your mom?! A snot-nosed kid who doesn’t even know how to be grateful to his mom ain’t got no right to mouth off to me! Rahhhhh!” The rude adventurer was grabbed and thrown—and so was the adventurer behind him. Smiling proudly at Pocchi’s heroics, the five moms headed into the tower. “Honestly, Mamako, you’re the reason he talks like that… Sniff.” Pocchi’s mom was tearing up. “That’s a boy you can be proud of! You can take him anywhere. Hee-hee-hee.” They raced through the tower halls. When the reward reset, so did the interior layout—the rubble staircase was no more. “This way!” They passed a flight of stairs, but they were ignoring the main route, headed for a little door in the back. Inside the door was the warp room. Here, too, the tiles Amante had destroyed were repaired. Magic circles showed numbers from two to nine… But some distance from them was another circle, glowing with a strange light. “That takes you to Floor 99! The rest is in your hands, Mamako!” “Got it! Let’s go!” Pocchi’s mom waved them on, and they jumped in the circle—and were gone. The mom idols reached the ninety-ninth floor. “Better save first.” “There’s no save system, though.” It was certainly the place for saving your progress, but they elected to ignore Shirase-P’s joke and climb the stairs. Floor 100. Like a heavenly palace, a beautiful space surrounded by porcelain walls. No signs of the boss that guarded it—the final doors were flung open, and the staircase to the tower room stood before them. Entranced by the solemn air, the party moved forward in silence. But as they reached the center, Mamako paused. “Mamako? What’s wrong?” “Oh, just remembering what Ma-kun and the girls said here… They said they wanted to adventure with their moms! I was so happy, I couldn’t stop myself from crying.” “I get that. And the other mothers and their children did, too, right? That boy…Pacchi, was it?” “Pecchi. Didn’t care for his face, but he had a rockin’ bod.” “Neither. It’s Pocchi,” said Shirase-P. “And Kazuno, you really should look past a person’s appearance to see the individual within.” “Hee-hee-hee…you sure do love muscles, Kazuno. Well, then…oh?” Mamako was about to step forward…when a crystal glowing with a warm light appeared in the air in front of her and was soon absorbed into her bosom. Mamako obtained the Parental Bond Making Up! “That’s right! Yes. This is my bond to Ma-kun. A warm, joyful treasure. Hee-hee-hee.” “And Mamako got her quest item, too! So…” “Um, Shirase-P—we all have our Parental Bonds now. What do we do next?” “No clue!” Shirase-P replied cheerily. Kazuno and Medhimama both glared at her, but Shirase-P was not so easily perturbed. “Ugh, this woman…,” grumbled Kazuno. “Sigh, fine. I’m used to it by now.” “We’ve got bigger fish to fry,” said Medhimama. “Let’s take care of them first. Mamako?” “Yes. Let’s go.” They headed up the stairs to the roof. As they climbed, Kazuno said, “I was thinking…if we make a wish to end the problems upending this world, and it’s granted…does that mean we’re done being idols?” “Well…I suppose that would be mission complete.” “Then we’d all graduate together…?” “Hmm…I guess so…” Lost in thought, they climbed the rest of the stairs. Before them stood a stone slab. The only words written on it? MAKE THY WISH. “I suppose the honor is yours, Mamako.” “Yes. We’ll leave this one to you. Go ahead.” “Well, then… Mamako stood before the stone slab. Now for the wish! “What should I say…? Um…” “Repeat after me! ‘Broadcast our song and dance to the whole world!’ Go on!” “Broadcast our song and dance to the whole world!” ““……What?”” Kazuno and Medhimama couldn’t believe their ears. “……Oh, my!” Even Mamako seemed surprised. Shirase-P pumped her fist. The stone slab sank into the floor, replaced by lights, mic stands, and what looked like TV cameras. Shirase-P connected the digital phonograph to the sound booth. “I have always been a fast writer,” she said, and quickly wrote up some lyrics on a set of cue cards. Preparations complete! The stage was set for an idol concert! “Heh-heh-heh. I knew this might happen, so I spent my time in the coffin thinking up the lyrics. Come, everyone! To the stage of our dreams!” “Shirase-P! This was your goal all along?! You just had to force us into this?!” “I’ve had all the crap I can take from you, woman!” Kazuno and Medhimama both grabbed Shirase-P and shook her so hard, her neck looked ready to snap, but… “Hee-hee-hee! Then we’ll just have to do our best! Kazuno, Medhimama, and me! Three mothers brought together by our precious children!” Mamako was already onstage, reaching her hands out toward the other two mom idols. Holding Shirase-P in a Neck Hanging Tree, Kazuno and Medhimama glanced at each other…and couldn’t stop themselves from smiling. “……Okay, okay, fine. You talked me into it.” “After all we’ve been through, graduating without singing a single song would be pretty sad… Well, Shirase-P?” “Absolutely. To restore bonds between parent and child and restore peace to the world…start the music!” Freed from the mothers’ clutches, Shirase-P flew into the sound booth and punched a button. Then she ran back out in front of the stage, holding up the cue cards. This was the mom song. “If you wanna laugh, laugh away! But be ready for the whip of love.” Dazzling beneath a rainbow of lights, Kazuno took a step forward with all the haughtiness of a gang leader. “If I’m strict, it’s because I’m thinking of you. After all…” As imposing as she was elegant, Medhimama projected an intelligentsia vibe as she grabbed her mic. And then Mamako spread both her hands. “…I love you more than anything! Because I’m your mommy!” Up-tempo music started blaring, and the all-mom idol group MOM-3’s message song spread far and wide! MOM-3’s concert was broadcast to the entire world. “Oh my! They certainly know when to go large, ho-ho-ho!” On the palace terrace, the queen smiled at the image projected in the sky above the Catharn capital. The same image was playing in Maman Village. “Oh! Mommy, look! Those old ladies!” “Oh? What’s going on? Huh? Huh? Huh?” Their bonds restored, the little girl and her mother stared up at the sky. In the school town of Mahweh: “Mother, won’t you join me? One, two, MOM-3! MOM-3!” “J-just this once! I’m not going to call myself a fan or anything!” The class president and her mother mingled with the audience gathered at the school festival stage, waving glow sticks. And far below the actual concert stage, at the base of Solo-Killer Tower: “Uh, what?! Moms, singing and dancing? Wow! And they’re super cute!” “Plus, the one in the middle was the first person to conquer this tower. We sneakily made some commemorative goods in honor of her achievements, if you want some! There’s a discount if you act now!” “I’ll take them at full price!” The attacking adventurers threw the pin-studded equipment away of their own accord, replacing them with coats emblazoned with Mamako’s face. Mothers good at sewing were busily working on Kazuno and Medhimama jackets, too. The mom idol group’s song and dance reached every corner of the world. Children who had been unnaturally pried from their parents’ sides found themselves pulled back. Mothers smiled again, and Mother Earth and Mother Ocean were restored. “Dearest Mother Chaliele, I thought this would be the last we saw each other…but could I stay another night?” “Stay as long as you want to. But Salite…do watch your step.” “Good idea.” Even in the elf village deep in the forest, a mother and a child clasped each other’s hands, watching the depressions around them fill in. “I don’t want this pin!” “Neither do I!” “I like Mommy better!” “Mommy!” “Hugs!” “Jeez, you finally snapped out of it? I was so worried! …Still, this hardly seems fair. Those moms are having so much fun! They could have at least invited me! Heh-heh-heh.” Even in a world housed on a different server, a beastkin mother hugged her children tight, watching the sea restore itself as her brood jostled for position. The song was for parents and children everywhere. Which was why… “…Nope, no matter how hard we look, we can’t find a way.” “I figured there had to be a trick to it, but there seriously isn’t…” “Physical and magical attacks are equally useless. All they do is wear us out.” “I was sure there was a really big door here before! Awww…” At Deathmother Castle, in the hall outside the throne room: Masato and the girls had done a thorough search for the door that should have been there, but hours of investigating had gotten them nowhere. Masato, Wise, Medhi, and even the hardworking Porta had worn themselves out and were slumped against the wall. But then…out of nowhere…they heard a song. “Huh? That’s…my mom’s voice…” “I think I hear mine, too.” “And I can hear Mama’s voice!” “My mom, Wise’s mom, and Medhi’s mom, singing together…? Sounds kinda like an idol song, too. That’s giving me goose bumps—in a bad way… What’s going on?” Masato had no idea…but before the party knew it, their exhausted bodies were back on their feet, looking around, trying to locate the source of the song. “Mm? Whoa, what the…?!” A crack opened on the wall behind them, and part of it crumbled away. It left a hole just big enough for Porta to squeeze through. “Um, the heck?” said Wise. “Does that, like, lead to the throne room?” “I’ll check it out! …Hnggg…this doesn’t go to the next room at all! It opens to a place I’ve never seen before!” “The moment we heard our mothers singing, this happens… It feels a bit like there’s a reason for that, huh?” said Medhi. “Yeah…I feel like Mom…well, our moms…pulled one over on us again, but…moving forward definitely seems like the right thing to do. I bet this’ll take us to Porta’s mom.” “Then…Masato!” Porta looked up at him, earnest eyes gleaming. Masato returned a reassuring nod.