Chapter 154

“Uh, Masato, tell me—do we actually have a shot at this?” “Honestly, I dunno. I’ve been doing my best to think of a plan…but part of me thinks we’d be better off just letting Porta’s pure emotions do the heavy lifting. So let’s do that.” “I think that’s a wise choice. Porta’s purity is the ultimate weapon.” “Yeah. I don’t know what her mom’s like, but no way she can ignore feelings that powerful. Like, even my mom got it eventually.” “Even my extremely stubborn mother understood by the time the dust settled.” “My mom’s ridiculous in her own way…but she’s always been a mom. She knows how her son feels.” But as each of their thoughts turned to their mothers… A shiver ran down their spines. “Erk…I just got a really bad feeling…b-but maybe I’m just imagining things! Mothers always know how their kids feel! They’d never…never, you know, just hypothetically speaking, do anything that would drive their children to the brink of despair! Ha-ha-ha!” “N-no, never! Ah-ha-ha!” “Definitely not! Heh-heh-heh!” The party forced some smiles. But reality was far crueler. Back at the Adventurers Guild in Catharn… Shiraaase appeared in the doorway, clad in a business suit. “What name should I give this time…? Shiiirase? Shirararassse? No…I think I’ll go with the mysterious producer-slash-manager, Shirase-P!” Shirase-P named herself to no one in particular, or perhaps the world at large. She stepped outside, a massive overstuffed backpack on her shoulders. “All right, everyone!” Shirase-P called, addressing the building. “To save the world and see your children in the process! A great adventure awaits! Let’s give it all we’ve got!” Kazuno and Medhimama peered around the doorway, scowling. “W-wait, Shiraaase…you can’t be serious?” “Shiraaase? Who might that P? I am the producer/manager extraordinaire, Shirase-P!” “Oh, God, she’s replacing random words with P… Are you seriously going to make us do this?” “It wasn’t my idea! This is a proposal from the queen herself! The disturbances in the earth and ocean are caused by the unnatural independent streak in children around the world. The best way to stabilize the children is to turn the children’s hearts back toward their mothers!” “I mean, I understand the logic, but…” “But this is too much! It’s just stupid!” “Not at all. It’s a wonderful idea. There is no better method to convey the wonders of mothers to children and the world. Come on out, you two! Your audience awaits!” Indeed, a crowd of adventurers was gathering. “Mm? What’s up?” “Something going on?” The Adventurers Guild was the hub of any adventurer’s life—they were never in short supply. Kazuno and Medhimama were looking paler by the moment. “Y-you’re kidding. We really have to show ourselves in public dressed like this?” “K-Kazuno…you couldn’t accidentally cast a transport spell? We could run away together!” “Great idea! Let’s do this… Transportare! …Argh, my magic isn’t working…because Shirase-P has my magic tome…” “Why did you let her take it?! She took all my gear, too, leaving me without a single spell!” “Wait, wait, wait, wait! Seriously, wait! If I go out in public like this…and if that dumb daughter of mine sees me wearing this outfit…” “P-perish the thought! If Medhi saw me like this, I wouldn’t just pass out, I’d die instantly!” “Don’t worry! I’m sure Ma-kun and your girls will be delighted! I can already see them waving their glowsticks!” “Please, as if that would ever happen! …Wait…” “Augh! Mamako! Don’t…!” From the back of the Adventurers Guild, moving like the wind… Dancing out before Shirase-P and the adventurers… “My love is boundless! I love you sooo much! Let me give you a biiig hug! I’m Mom Idol Number One, Mamako Oosuki! Hee-hee-hee.” Wearing an adorable top and a short frilly skirt… There was Mamako with her cute smile and a flirty wink. In the darkest hour appears a mom idol to impart how wonderful mothers are! “Hello, everyone! …Oh? No answer?” This was all too sudden. The crowd of adventurers were frozen in silence. Shirase-P nodded. “You show up full of excitement and anticipation, but the audience is unmoved. That is how debuts go! This is a road every idol must walk down. It all starts here!” “Right, Shirase-P! I’ll do my best! Hee-hee-hee!” “Now there’s a beautiful smile! I love the enthusiasm. You’re the leader, the heart of the idol group, so please take center stage—and strike a symmetrical pose.” “Like this?” She spread both arms, as if waiting for a dive into Mommy’s bosom. “Perfect!” Shirase-P gave it the seal of approval. “Next, Idols two and three! Come on out! The longer you keep us waiting, the more adventurers will arrive. Which works well from a strategic perspective…” “Argh…f-fine! I just have to get it over with!” “We agreed to do the job. And if Mamako’s so confident, I’m not about to be outdone! Ever!” Fueled by irritation and a competitive spirit, Kazuno and Medhimama finally stepped through the door. “Neither of us are honest with our feelings! You got a problem with me? Spit it out! Family squabbles are my thing! I’m Mom Idol Number Two, Night Queen! Quit your ogling!” “Being strict is an expression of love! Side by side with the children, we’ll strive for greater heights! I’m Mom Idol Number Three, Medhimama! Oh-ho-ho!” Clad in idol costumes that matched Mamako’s, the other two mom idols took their positions at her side, striking poses! Kazuno went for the “Come at me!” delinquent pose. Nailed it. Medhimama went for the strict-and-brainy class president look. Nailed it. But the crowd was still just gaping at them in silence. “Argh…kill me! Kill me now!” “Kazuno, no idol would ever speak like that. Be proud! We can’t pull back now.” Tears were streaming down both their cheeks, but Shirase-P started clapping for them. “Well done, you two! …If I had my druthers, you’d have gone for a more idol-like ‘Tee-hee ’ but…” “Don’t push it! Consider how old we are! If we tried that, the audience would puke blood!” “Hee-hee-hee. Don’t worry. We can do it if we try! Tee-hee! ” “That worked?! …W-well, maybe if you look as young as Mamako…” “Mamako can do it… Very well, I’ve made up my mind. I’ve just got to act like an idol…like an idol…tee…tee…tee-haghhh?!” Blood puke. “See? I knew it! Memama! Hang in there! Although your wounds are severe and you’re probably doomed!” “Hmm…well, in that case I shall leave it up to your best judgment and your individual personalities. We don’t have much time, so let’s get started.” With Shirase-P in the lead, the moms began to take their leave. “Shirase-P, what is our idol group’s name?” asked Mamako. “Oh, right! We hadn’t picked one yet. Let’s think about it as we go.” “Uh, is this really the time? Memama’s in critical condition!” “Kazuno…I don’t think I can make it… Just leave me here…” “No, you’re definitely coming! No way I’m letting you wriggle out of it this easy!” “Argh…group solidarity is a thorn in my side…” The mom idol group walked away, before the stunned stares of the silent crowd. A sad launch—but they had much to accomplish. Someday, they would be on a shining stage, basking in the cheers of their fans… All in order to save the world, and to be reunited with their beloved children. “Ma-kun…Mommy’s coming! Just you wait!” Mamako whispered, gazing up at the sky. She envisioned Masato’s smile…and his eyes rolling back in his head and an anguished expression on his face, but surely that part was just her imagination.