: Hwa?!
: did I just hear that?
: what (terrified)
: Shion-mama's Live has never been so On???
“Okay! Let me explain how this is going to work!” she continued. “We’re gonna spin the wheel. At random, we’re going to pair up Sei, Nekoma, Shuwa-chan, and Alice-chan and have each pair conceive a child. Ideally, I would’ve liked to switch the pairs around and try out every combination, but that would’ve been a bit unfeasible...”
“Allow me to clarify,” Sei-sama said. “When Shion says ‘conceive a child,’ we mean hypothetically, of course. All she wants to do is imagine what our various offspring would possibly look like.”
“Yep, no switching around, so that means two pairs between us four, two kids total!” Nekoma-senpai added.
“Give me Awayuki-dono’s child. Give me Awayuki-dono’s child!” Alice-chan said.
*GULP* *GULP* *GULP* *GULP* “PA-HAAAA!”
: oh good, I was worried this stream was going to be completely off the rails ￥4,000
: sarcasm detected
: my time here has altered my perception of what is allowed or not. Here's hoping you don't get banned!
: not Shuwa-chan chugging like she used to
: hm? Shion-mama's sitting this one out?
“No one else wanted to join!” Shion-mama said. “If we just got one more, that would’ve been six, making three pairs! That would’ve been perfect! Ugh! This sucks!”
“Can’t blame them. This was one collab even Nekoma wanted to sit out, nyafter all,” Nekoma-senpai said.
“Now, now, let’s give Shion credit where it’s due,” Sei-sama said. “She sat herself out knowing full well she’d be too biased toward second gen and too incapacitated to carry out her hosting duties if she were a participant.”
“Nobody deserves credit for digging themselves out of a hole they dug in the first place,” I said. *GULP *GULP* *GULP*
“Well, I like it!” Alice-chan said. “For me, the fewer people join, the better!”
: Sei-sama has just become a Shion-approving bot lmao
: absolutely didn't think Sei-sama of all people would be so smitten lmao
: so basically Shuwa-chan is the sole reason this stream could even happen
: Wait, so when Shion said she wants babies, she wants other people's...babies?
: forgive our daughter. ￥50,000
StroZero-chan, I’ll be counting on you today. Before throwing myself into the chaos that was sure to follow, I gave StroZero-chan a final, parting peck on the cheek.
“All right. Bring out the wheel!” Shion-mama said. A spinner wheel appeared on the screen, divided into quadrants, each labeled with one of our names—except for Shion-mama’s. “There’s only one arrow, so we’ll spin it once to determine the first person, then again to complete the pair!”
“Hey, Shion-mama!” I yelled. “One name’s missing! StroZero-chan’s!”
“Huh?” she said. “Wait, of course! If we add StroZero, we’ll have an even number and then I can participate!”
Oh? I just wanted to complain, but it seems I’ve struck on a good idea. And the thought that I could pair with StroZero-chan made me actually hyped for the stream!
“Nyot so fast!” Nekoma-senpai interjected. “If we add StroZero to the wheel, that means one of us is going to have to bear a child with StroZero! Shuwa-chan might be fine with that, but what about the rest of you?”
“Sounds good to me,” I replied. “In fact, why aren’t you all getting freaky with StroZero already?”
“I’m with Awayuki-dono!” Alice-chan said. “Getting with StroZero is basically equivalent to getting with Awayuki-dono!”
“I’ve cum to a can of StroZero thinking of Awayuki-dono before,” Sei-sama added.
“I see. So Nekoma’s the odd one out... Nya-nya,” Nekoma-senpai mumbled defeatedly.
: house cat Learns About Majority Rule
: Is what Sei-sama just said allowed?
: we're actually adding StroZero?!
“Mmmmmm...” Shion-mama grumbled in hard thought. “Mmmm... No! We’ll keep it as is. I don’t want to throw the entire plan out of whack.”
Tsk. It seemed Shion-mama valued having a properly run stream over a child with StroZero. Shame.
“Now that that’s settled, let’s spin the wheel! Whee!” Shion-mama exclaimed, and the wheel began to turn at last. All eyes were glued to it, anticipation high as they waited to see where it would land. As the wheel picked up speed, so did Shion-mama’s enthusiasm, and she started chanting, “Impregnate, impregnate, impregnate, impregnate!”
“Shion-mama, could you not do that to the tune of ‘chug, chug, chug, chug’?!” I snapped.
: what is that chant lmao
: bruh LOL
: Shion-chan is completely off her rocker today
: remember, no one's truly normal, just normal-presenting
: You know you've got it bad when Shuwa-chan's the one calling you out
Slowly but surely, the wheel began to lose speed, its rotation growing sluggish until, at last, it landed on...!
[Sei Utsuki]
“It’s Sei!” Shion-mama said.
“Yeugh,” Nekoma-senpai said.
“Swing and a miss!” Alice-chan said.
“Would you look at the time, I have to go water my fake plants,” I said.
“Now hold on,” Sei-sama said, clearly upset. “I can understand Awayuki-kun’s and Alice-kun’s reactions, but you, Nekoma-kun?”
“Nya? What about me?” Nekoma-senpai asked.
“You don’t want to sleep with me?”
“Whether I do or do not isn’t relevant to the game...”
“Hm. Can I ask why you’ve been so opposed to this game? I thought you were always up for strange and interesting stream ideas.”
“I-I am. It’s not that, it’s just...”
Nekoma-senpai’s voice trailed off into silence. A few heartbeats later, her voice returned, this time like a burst hot-air balloon plummeting toward the ground. “I just don’t want to imagine having a child with either of you. You’re my genmates...and a couple! That’s so weird!”
: lolcat
: what is going on
: a cat is caught between a rock and a hard place
Even I let out an “ohhh” in understanding. Right, of course this would happen if Sei-sama and Nekoma-senpai ended up pairing. Poor Nekoma-senpai. I also desperately didn’t want to get paired with Alice-chan, but at least we weren’t genmates...
“Nekomaaa,” Shion-mama said, her tone full of warmth and understanding. “It’s okay. I don’t mind! I want to see your and Sei’s child. Please! Pretty please!”
Ope, my mistake. That wasn’t warmth and understanding in her tone. It was more of a sticky, clammy something else.
“No!” Nekoma-senpai yelled. “Guys, she is clearly not okay, do something about her!”
“Nekoma-kun,” Sei-sama said.
“Nya?”
“Rest assured, I want to have sex with you both physically and emotionally.”
“You’ve just been thinking this is about sex from the beginning when it’s not!”
Talk about a power couple...
“Hey, kouhai, help me out!” Nekoma-senpai said.
“I mean, in the end, it’s all down to luck, so not sure how I can help you out,” I said. “Want a StroZero?”
“I want to pair with Awayuki-dono, so it’s in my best interest that you get paired with Sei-dono!” Alice-chan said.
“Nyot like this... Ah! I just realized that if I’d agreed to add StroZero to the wheel, that would’ve bettered my odds!”
: you've heard of cutting-edge couples, bleeding-edge couples, now get ready for fallen-off-the-edge couples
: it's a miracle they're lovey-dovey behind the scenes
: this cat is so cute in her misery
: is it bad that I kind of want her to get paired with Sei-sama now?
: clearly no one here understands how thin the line is between pitiful and adorable