Chapter 8

CHAPTER THREE Let the Mutual Understanding Commence The day after I managed to coax Kenta back to the real world, I arrived at the Yamazakis’ at seven AM sharp. The man himself was pacing around in the living room, already wearing his school uniform. It looked like he was all ready to go. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he’d been too nervous to sleep much last night. Or at all. “’Sup? Looks like you didn’t get much sleep, huh?” Kenta turned to look at me. He really did have a “That time I got reincarnated as a hippo” kinda panic. “G-good morning, King… I couldn’t sleep, thinking about today…” “So I see. Ah well. If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I’d be nervous, too. But we have a whole hour until we get to school. Let’s chat and see if we can get you prepared psychologically.” “Huh? It only takes twenty minutes to get to school.” “Yeah, by bicycle. But starting today, you’re walking. It’s only about four miles. Should take around an hour. Actually, I’d prefer it if you ran, but you’re so out of shape you’re liable to bust a knee. Now give me your phone.” Kenta handed it over meekly. I grabbed it and started tapping. “I’m downloading this running app I use myself. You can set it for walking, too. It gives you goal distances and times, so use it to keep your pace. It also records your movements. You’re going to send me a screenshot of the results page every day. No chance to slack off, get it?” “…An hour? Th-that’s kind of a long time…” “It’s a good pace for burning fat. You’ll soon get used to it. Anyway, it’s only walking. If you walk seven, eight miles a day, you’ll easily manage to bring your fitness levels up. By the way, I already walked like six miles to get here just to take you to school, and now I have to walk four miles back. So quit complaining.” “…I’ll grab my stuff, King.” After I said hi to Yumiko, we left the house together. The path through the rice fields didn’t have that same springlike “Ah, the joys of youth” vibe with Kenta like they did with Yua and Yuuko. Eh, it is what it is. “Last night, you got me all fired up with that talk about three-dimensional boobies, but overnight I think I cooled down some… And now I wonder if maybe I was right, that it’s going to be too tough for me…” As we walked, Kenta began whining. “Also, I took a look at that training plan you messaged me with last night… It looks like torture, but I guess I can give it a go… It’s just…” The basic plan of action I had set up for Kenta went like this: morning weight lifting followed by a protein shake. Lunch and dinner would be tofu noodles, plus chicken soup with a ton of veggies. No other food. And for drinks, only water, tea, black coffee, and black tea without milk or sugar. By the way, tofu noodles are a super-handy diet food; you can buy them at any convenience store. Like the name indicates, they’re mostly made of tofu, so they’re low-carb while still being filling. And they give you a good hit of protein for only around a hundred calories per meal. Perfect. The rest of the nutrients come from the veggies in the soup. I gave Yumiko careful written instructions so she knew what to cook for Kenta. For the weight training, I was going to have Kenta do a thirty-minute fitness challenge catered toward total beginners. If I threw him in at the deep end with a hard-core training routine, he’d probably injure himself. A beginner’s course would be more than challenging enough for someone who usually avoided all physical activity. “Just relax. I calculated everything based off your height and starting weight. Just do what I tell you to do, and weight loss is assured. Anyway, I’m not trying to make you skinny. We just need to get you back to where you were before you started skipping school. The things I really want you to focus on are your social skills and your communication skills.” Kenta nodded obediently. “But I haven’t been to school in three months. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to walk back into the classroom…” “Well, don’t worry about that, because hardly anyone even knows who you are. Look, to be honest, you don’t even register on anyone’s radar. You’re lucky that the new school year just started, and you’ve already been assigned to a whole new class. This way, nobody even missed you, and I can assure you there’s zero gossip going on about you not coming to school.” “I…I kinda knew that, but hearing you say it all out loud makes me feel like crap…” “That said, there’s a few students who’ve realized we’ve got an empty desk in class. So technically, that does count as a rumor, but nothing too serious. I do think there’s a few kids who were in your class last year as well. But it’s not a problem. We’ll just play it by ear. Today, at any rate, you’ll be with me, Yuuko, Yua, Kaito Asano, Kazuki Mizushino, Haru Aomi, and Yuzuki Nanase. All the members of Team Chitose. So you can try to develop your social skills with us.” “Wow, those are all the most popular kids in our grade. Everyone in school knows their names… You really are the king, King. But to be honest, I’m not confident I’m gonna be able to hold a conversation with kids like them…” “You’ve got it wrong. These are all the popular kids who I can vouch for personally. No matter how awkward or dorky you act, they’ll be fair to you. None of them will try to put you down or look down their noses at you. There’s not a bully or a jerk in the whole bunch. Think of this as a training level. No ‘game overs.’ Just relax and give it your best shot.” “…Feels more like I’m being thrown straight to the final boss.” “Good. Once you’ve conquered the final boss, you can handle the slimes and goblins with ease.” We were strolling along. I was feeling fine, but Kenta was already starting to huff and puff a little. “S-so I guess I should make sure not to mention anime or light novels, right? Otherwise, they’ll think I’m gross.” I was kinda impressed—not everyone can maintain such a tiny voice when they’re out of breath, too. “You really are an idiot. Why would you have to hide your interests? Popular kids and otaku aren’t all that different, you know. Besides, what else have you even got to talk about, hmm?” “But…I’m not confident I can read the room… What if I say the wrong thing?” “I hate that expression. Read the room. It’s just a way people have of trying to suppress individualistic expression.” “Yeah, but it’s true… If I want to be popular, I need to know how to gauge the mood of the group, right? And fit in?” Kenta was looking up at me quizzically. “Just forget about reading the room altogether. It’s far too broad a guideline to be of any use. I told you that there are different types of popular kids. Stop making assumptions. Don’t look at us all and think we’re a bunch of pretentious jerks with some kind of hive mind. Use your own judgment; don’t just rely on your own preconceptions.” I don’t know how it is in adult society these days, but in our school, there’s a crazy amount of labeling and categorizing going on. All of it is so cynical and negative. For example, pretentious. That word originally came about to criticize people who act better than others, but now it’s thrown at anyone who actually puts effort into bettering themselves. I’m not here to excuse people who diss the first category, either, but putting down people in the second category doesn’t sit well with me especially. It’s just jealousy, the whole crabs-in-a-bucket mentality. You slap a label on someone so you can mock them and try to drag them back down to your level. All so you can feel better about yourself even though you’re not doing anything to improve your own lot in life. I think that’s a pretty pathetic, meaningless way to live. I continued. “For example, it’s definitely important to be careful not to say things that would upset someone else who’s maybe feeling down or sensitive about something. But holding back your opinions just ’cause you know they differ from the majority, or hiding the things you’re into because they’re not mainstream, or putting too much stock in the whole adage about how the nail that sticks up gets hammered down… I think that’s making a huge mistake. Everyone’s an individual and should feel free to be themselves. It’s so much more interesting if everyone allows themselves to be unique, right? So assert yourself. Say what you believe is right, talk about the things that excite you, and own it.” I paused for breath, turning to look at Kenta. “People who get the wrong idea about that and focus only on blending in—eventually, they’ll blend in so well they might as well not be there at all.” Well, in my case, I read the room first, and then I use that to figure out how best to present myself. But that concept seemed a bit beyond Kenta. “Being mindful of others and living your own way… Those are two separate things. Is that right?” “Yeah, more or less.” “Well, can’t you teach me some basic techniques for conversation?” “If I taught you them now, you’d only panic and get it wrong when the time comes, and I’d have to remind you anyway. So we may as well wait.” “Whatever you say, King.” 8:10 AM. Kenta and I were standing in front of the classroom for Year Two, Class Five. Through the window in the door, I could see that the other members of Team Chitose were all in attendance already. Homeroom started at eight thirty, but Kura was often late, so usually it was more like 8:35. In the twenty-five minutes we had available, Kenta’s fate would be set. “K-King… I’m sorry, but my stomach hurts all of a sudden. May I go to the nurse?” “Oh, quit whining and get it together.” “It’s the first day, so perhaps I should just take a quick peek and then leave…come back tomorrow…” “Listen to me, Kenta. If you’re really going to change, then this is the moment. It’s all a mental game. All you have to do is make up your mind and take that first step. Then your life really will begin to change.” Kenta seemed to be ruminating over what I was saying. “But the people who tell themselves: ‘I’ll change when this happens or when the timing’s right…’ They’re kidding themselves. The right time will never come. You’ll just keep on making fresh excuses. And your initial enthusiasm will fade. You’re just putting things off until one day you die. But if that’s how you want to live, then be my guest.” “So if I decide to change right now… Then just making that decision will mean I’ve started changing already?” I smiled. “Exactly. Come on; it’s time.” I slung my arm around Kenta’s shoulder and opened the door. “Morning, all!” Kaito, Kazuki, Haru, and my other classmates all turned toward us. Instantly, question marks popped up above each of their heads. Metaphorically, of course. “This is Kenta Yamazaki—he hasn’t been in school since January. I, Saku Chitose, have convinced him to finally come back and join our class. A round of applause, everyone!” …Clap, clap, clap. Several people clapped hesitantly, prompted to do so by the energy in my voice. But it was clear they didn’t really know what to make of the odd couple who had just waltzed in. They were all exchanging looks that basically said, “Who the heck is that?” It goes without saying that Kenta was more bewildered than any of them. And alarmed. His lips were flapping soundlessly. It was as if he wanted to say, “King! Are you sure you meant to say that just now?!” Ignoring him, I continued. “And just FYI, the reason he hasn’t been coming to school is that the princess of his otaku group—the object of his affection—hooked up with the group’s prince instead of our boy Kenta. Yikes. I know I wouldn’t have been able to come to school again if I knew my classmates found that out about me. So be extra-nice to him, okay? He’s still mentally fragile.” Kenta had gone as pale as milk. He was gazing at me in absolute horror. “K-King?!” he hissed. “Are you in demon mode right now?! Did you really have to say all that? No one knew about my situation, but now that you’ve told them, I’m going to be the biggest joke in class!” “Exactly. Just roll with it and watch what happens.” … … “Aw, Chitose, you shouldn’t have said all that. Don’t worry, as a class, we’ll all agree to pretend we never heard it. Let’s just rewind and go back to two minutes ago, okay?” It was Nanase who broke the awkward silence. Then everyone in class began to chuckle. As if on cue, Kazuki leaned in and started talking to Kenta like they were old buddies. “Saku, our resident airhead, tends to put his foot in his mouth sometimes, doesn’t he? It happens more than you think. Kenta, you should head on in and take your seat, before Saku exposes any more of your personal secrets.” Kaito grinned and started joking around to keep the mood light. “By the way, this otaku group princess… Is she real? Like, a cute girl who actually likes anime and stuff? Does she cosplay for you? You got any pictures? I need pictures, dude.” Haru laughed and jumped in, too. “Geez! Just ignore them, Yamazaki. But seriously, though, how cute are you? You couldn’t come to school ’cause you were heartbroken? Aw! You know, if Kaito was going to quit school every time he got shot down, he’d never be able to come to school again! He tries it on everything in a skirt and strikes out every time!” Haru’s bright smile and teasing tone helped to lift the general mood of the class even higher. “King, what’s going on…?” Kenta blinked at me in confusion. “I told you—you’re gonna be a joke. That will endear everyone to you way more than it would if you tried to hide the truth and acted all shady about where you’ve been. It’s better to make fun of yourself and invite everyone else to join in. Wear your weakness with pride, and it’ll make everyone feel more at ease around you.” I clapped Kenta on the back as I muttered this to him, sotto voce. “But don’t be all tense about it. Act like it was no big thing. Be matter-of-fact about it. Go on.” Kenta took a deep breath, and then in a tremulous yet determined voice, he took a step forward. “Ah yeah, well, she was really cute, though. She would always share her nuggets and fries at McDonald’s. And she’d offer you a sip of her soda and stuff. She lent me a handkerchief at summer Comiket, and she said I didn’t even have to give it back afterward. She was super kind. That’s why I fell for her.” Kaito immediately responded to that. “Oh, I totally get it! She sounds like a real nice girl. Any guy would fall for that type. What do you think, Haru?” “Uh, what? You boys are so naive. I mean, maybe she gave away her fries and soda because she was on a diet. And the handkerchief thing… I mean, if I lent you a towel, Kaito, I sure wouldn’t want it back!” “What?!” “’Cause it would be all stinky from your sweat! I’d rather you buy me a brand-new one than give the same one back!” “But I thought girls liked the scent of a man’s sweat?!” Kaito and Haru had picked up Kenta’s conversational ball and run off with it. And Kenta was looking stricken. “What’s up?” Kenta mumbled sadly as he watched Kaito and Haru continue to joke back and forth. “I…I guess I look like I stink, after all…” Ah, I see, so that’s how he took that. “Haru isn’t the type to diss someone based on how they look. Anyway, she said it to Kaito, not you. Giving him a hard time, to her, is like saying good morning or how are you. It’s just her way of being friendly. It shows familiarity. You wouldn’t want to hang out with someone who didn’t have any capacity for in-jokes or banter, would you?” “There wasn’t any banter or in-jokes in my otaku group…” “That just means everyone was too scared of offending the others or hurting someone’s feelings. And they didn’t have enough confidence in themselves to expect that others wouldn’t turn on them eventually. It takes time to get to know people, sure, but a little good-natured teasing and banter brings people together. Does it look like Haru and Kaito seem afraid of offending each other?” “No… They look like good friends.” “Right. Banter forms strong bonds. It shows that what’s between you is strong enough to handle being tested a little. It’s real communication, no walking on eggshells or blowing smoke up each other’s asses.” Kenta still didn’t seem fully convinced, so I continued. “You want friends who get all red in the face and offended just ’cause you teased them a little? You want friends who only speak in trite platitudes? Does that sound like a good relationship to you?” True, it’s a fine line to walk, between banter and bullying. A lighthearted joke, coming from a popular kid, might end up being taken as a serious jab by an unpopular kid. Of course, you should be careful not to presume. But if you get too hung up on hurting the other person’s feelings even a little, you’ll never get anywhere. You have to think about the intention behind the words. Is it kind, or is it malicious? It’s good to work on cultivating the ability to tell the difference. “You heard Kazuki call me the resident airhead just before, didn’t you? If I got all butt-hurt and started yelling ‘Who are you calling an airhead, asshole?!’ would that retroactively make Kazuki a jerk? Just ’cause of the way I took it?” Kenta rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “…No, I’d think you were the one who couldn’t take a joke.” “See? Unpopular kids tend to let their own insecurities color every interaction they have. I mean, straight-up bullying is always a dick move, but sometimes a person really is just trying to playfully tease, and the other person misunderstands and blows everything out of proportion. Remember what I said about the fundamentals of making conversation?” “You said it’s about trying to get to know the other person…and wanting them to get to know you.” “Precisely. If you get to know them well, you’ll be able to tell whether they’re trying to put you down, or if they’re just teasing you in a loving manner. It’s a mark of trust, the ability to identify that key difference. When it’s friendly teasing, the best thing to do is tease right back.” “But…what if they really are trying to be mean?” “Then you crush them. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to back you up if that happens.” I clapped him on the back again, a little harder this time. “Go on, try teasing Kaito and co. But think loving teasing. Loving teasing.” Blinking rapidly, Kenta took a step forward, toward the rest of Team Chitose. “I…I have a feeling my sweat stinks less than Asano’s at least.” “Aw, man! My sweat has floral top notes! It’s a complex bouquet!” Grinning, Haru picked up the conversational ball that Kaito passed and threw it back. “Chitose and Mizushino may be all right, but you, Kaito? You’re the typical sweaty, stinky jock!” Kenta seemed to have gathered together some courage. “I actually, uh, have this cologne that’s supposed to resemble the scent of teenage girls…” “Really, Kenta? Let me get a sniff of that later!” “Ew, you guys are too much! If you wear that stinky cologne to school, I’ll hose you down in the schoolyard!!!” There, they were playing a good game of conversational ball. The two of them had naturally stood aside a little, making a space in the Team Chitose circle for Kenta. Yuuko reached out and poked Kenta in the chest. Stop that. “Kentacchi, later on I’ll show you how to style your hair with wax.” Yua was smiling kindly at Kenta, too. “Yamazaki, sorry I couldn’t come yesterday because of club practice. I’m glad to finally get to see you in person, though! Will you lend me a good light novel sometime?” “Thank you both, I—” “Aw, no need to thank us! Welcome to Year Two, Class Five! Welcome to Yuuko Hiiragi’s Angels!” “Exactly. Welcome to the class!” Kenta blinked, blushing as these two beautiful girls welcomed him. I debated kicking him in his nasty little ass, but I managed to control myself. “All right, guys, take your seats.” It was 8:35 AM, and Kura entered the room right on cue. His gaze flicked briefly over to Kenta and me. Giving me a quick “Seems you succeeded, then,” kind of look, he headed on over to take up his position behind the teacher’s lectern. “I’m gonna take the roll call.” Everyone took their seats, chirping “Present!” as their names were called. Haru Aomi, Kaito Asano, Saku Chitose, Yuuko Hiiragi, Kazuki Mizushino, Yuzuki Nanase, Yua Uchida… “Kenta Yamazaki.” “P-present! I haven’t been to school since final semester last year, but I’m back now. I’m, uh, Kenta Yamazaki. Y-Yuuko cut my hair like this for me. And Kin…er, Chitose said I look like a hippo emerging from a pond with weeds on my head. It’s nice to finally meet you all!” Kenta had taken it upon himself to stand up and introduce himself to the class. I grinned to myself. Not bad, not bad, Kenta. You learn fast. There was an awkward pause of about three seconds before the class erupted in laughter. Standing up to introduce himself in the middle of roll call was a dorky move, the kind of move that highlighted an inability to, as they say, “read the room.” But at the same time, he’d name-dropped both Yuuko and me—and even made a joke. Everyone in class therefore felt comfortable giving him the laugh he was fishing for. I don’t really like it, but I can’t deny that name-dropping a popular kid’s name is always effective. By letting everyone know that Yuuko had cut his hair, and that I had been there to witness it, he went from potentially being seen as a greasy shut-in to a lovable goofball character instead. The whole class seemed to make up their minds about him in an instant, quickly adopting him as one of their own. After harboring all that jealousy and resentment toward popular kids, Kenta seemed to know better than anyone how useful it could be to borrow the popularity of others. Overall, his bold move had paid off, and it made him look self-secure and even masculine in the eyes of the class. “Oh, I see. Well, take it easy until you’ve settled in. And if there’s anything you’re not sure about, see our class president. He’ll take care of it.” “Kura! What have we told you about neglecting your duties as an educator, hmm?!” At lunchtime, we sat down at the usual table. Over the course of a week, it had become “our” table. Of course, Kenta was invited to eat lunch with us. “King, everyone’s staring at me…” “Stop looking around. Just be cool. Act like you belong. I know we’re all good-looking, but there are tons of popular kids who aren’t conventionally handsome. Pretend you’re one of them.” “But I can’t eat while I’m being stared at like this…” “Who cares about them? They don’t matter. They can’t do anything for you, and they can’t take anything from you, either. They’ve got no skin in this game. Focus on the people who are willing to share their precious time with you right here, right now.” Tremulously, Kenta pulled his lunch out of his bag. Yuuko’s eyes widened. “What’s that, Kentacchi?” “It’s…tofu noodles and chicken vegetable soup…” Haru whirled around. “Whaaat?! Based on your size, you need more food than that, Yamazaki! You need to eat carbs, or you won’t have enough energy!” “Er, I’m actually on a diet. King said I could eat only this.” “King? Oh, you mean Chitose. Are you doing calories in, calories out? You have to exercise, too, you know!” “King’s made up a training plan for me. I never usually exercise, but he said he’s taken that into account.” Kenta showed Haru the training and diet plan I sent him on the LINE app. Haru leaned in to see, oblivious to the closeness between Kenta and her. Kenta, meanwhile, blushed. “Whoa. Chitose, this is devilish. The poor guy doesn’t even have an athletic background, and he’s been in the house for however long, but you still have him doing hard-core workouts like this?” I lifted my chin and put my hands on my hips, trying to look regal. “Lowly Subject Haru. In this world, there is much happiness to be found in ignorance. Simply trust in the words of the king, and the way will become clear.” It was cool, though. Sure, if I had Kenta doing three laps of the butterfly stroke in the River Sanzu, that mythical boundary between life and death, he would crack. But I wasn’t that cruel. In fact, I had spent a lot of time balancing my diet and workout plan. He’d survive. By this point, though, Nanase and Yua had taken an interest in Kenta’s lunch, too. “Dieting!” “Good for you!” “Well, butter my biscuits, keepin’ mah weight steady’s hard ’nuff, and here y’are a-fixin’ t’lose a whole barrel! Sounds right awful, it does!” (Translation: It takes all I’ve got just to keep from gaining, so to see you doing all that and actually trying to lose major weight! You must be having a terrible time of it.) “Y’cain’t jus’ diet in secret’n show up outta the blue all skinny-like—’s kinda sneaky, if’n y’ask me. Y’gotta come out’n say it! We better keep up, y’all!” (Translation: You’re right, Yuzuki. But for me, I feel like dieting in secret and then showing up one day suddenly having lost weight… There’s something sneaky about that. It’s better to be up-front first! We’d better step up our game, too!) Ah, they were doing that exaggerated Fukui accent thing again today. The retro version.