Chapter 9

“But what made you want to start dieting, Kenta?” Kaito leaned in, looking curious. “Uh… I want to show the girl who rejected me what she’s missing, I guess.” “Ooh, are we talking about our love lives?” I said. “Yesss! Tell us everything, from start to finish, come on!” Kenta shot me a look. I nodded in a “Knock yourself out” kind of way. “Er… Well… I was in this otaku hobbyist group. We met via social media. We would hang out on weekends to talk about anime, light novels, stuff like that…and we went to Comiket together and other events and stuff. There were three boys, including me, and one girl.” “That’s not many… I was picturing a bigger group somehow.” “I guess there’s bigger groups in the major cities, but we’re in the sticks of Fukui, so there’s just fewer people in general.” “So anyway, you fell for this girl?” Kenta nodded. Kaito and the others were all listening intently. “Her name’s Miki. You write it with the characters for beauty and princess. And she really was like the princess of our group. Of course, she can’t hold a candle to any of the girls sitting at this table… But otaku girls with even half-decent faces are super rare. We treated her like she was an idol.” “Does she cosplay?” Kaito seemed really interested in that prospect, for some reason. “Oh yeah. I mean, she was always in cosplay when we met up.” Smiling, Kenta began naming some female characters from anime. Ones who even I had heard of. Kaito leaned in, eyes wide. “Really?! Okay, okay, I’m picturing it…’cept in my mind, I’m seeing Yuzuki and Ucchi in cosplay instead…” ““Jus’ geddidout!!!”” (Translation: Just get it out, in the Fukui dialect. Though whether this was said to encourage Kenta to continue with his story or was just them telling Kaito to erase his mental cosplay imagery, I can’t say.) Those two were really quite the pair. “Well, we weren’t that close at first. It’s obvious I was the worst-looking of the three of us guys, but one of the guys who was kinda average, like Miki—he became like our group leader. So she talked to him a lot more.” Kenta took a sip of water before continuing. “But then all of a sudden, it seemed like we were talking more and more. Not alone, but like, in a group setting, she started talking to me, and like I said before, she would offer me some of her soda or fries or whatever. And she started responding to stuff I said in our LINE group chat…” “Wow, it sure sounds like she was into you. So you asked her out?” “I started to think that maybe…there was a chance. And I already knew I liked her. So I took the plunge and invited her to meet me at a café…and told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend. But…” Kenta swallowed and hesitated, and I jumped in. “She told him: ‘Excuse me? Are you delusional? I would never date someone like you. Don’t you even realize what your own social status is? Loser!’…” Kaito and the others all gasped in horrified indignation. “What?! Is she crazy?! What’s she talking about social status for? She was in the same nerd group you were! And who cares about social status when it comes to romance? Hasn’t this bitch ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?!” Kaito slammed his fist down on the table as Haru rolled her eyes. “I agree, Kaito, but when a meathead guy like you references Romeo and Juliet, it’s just painfully obvious you’ve never even read a single Shakespeare play.” Romeo and Juliet were also from “two households, both alike in dignity,” but whatever. Kenta chuckled a little. “That’s not all, though,” he said. “She was already dating the dude who was the leader of our group. She’d used me to make him jealous so he’d fall for her, since her other attempts weren’t working. That’s why she was chatting me up. I guess it worked for her…” Kenta trailed off, clearly reliving the painful memories. “…After that, they made a new LINE group chat without me, and they made fun of me and my reaction there. Actually, right after I asked Miki out, the leader and the other guy popped up out of nowhere and started saying stuff like ‘Have you ever looked in the mirror, loser?’ and stuff… I guess it was my fault for getting the wrong impression, though…” “No, it wasn’t!” Kaito slammed the table again, bubbling over once more. Now everyone in the cafeteria was looking at us. “You were totally sincere! How dare they just take a giant crap on your feelings?! What a small-minded bunch of jerks! Hey, Kenta… Call them out this weekend! I’ll kick all their asses!” Kaito looked ready to grab Kenta’s phone and dial up his ex-otaku buddies right then and there. Kazuki put a soothing hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. “Just take it easy,” he said. “…Let’s put all the hotheaded machismo stuff aside and really think about this, okay? Seems to me the only thing to do is to become the best man you can be and make this girl eat her words. After all, isn’t that why Saku has taken you under his wing, Kenta?” “Yes. I know I’ve been a weak loser…but I’m willing to try.” Kenta smiled shyly, and that was when I knew he’d be fine. He’d get stronger, now that he’d really owned up to how weak he’d been. Haru interjected then, putting her hand down in the middle of the table. “You are not a weak loser, Yamazaki! They’re the losers.” Nanase nodded, putting her hand down on the table on top of Haru’s. “I actually agree with Haru for once. If you follow Chitose’s instructions and do your best, you’re sure to become the best you can be. Then you can stick it to all of them. Okay?” Kazuki and Kaito both slapped their hands down on the pile. “Yeah, you have to rise above those jerks and become the better man. If you need any help with your training, you can come to me anytime, Kenta.” “Same for me. We’ll leave the finessing up to Saku, but if there’s anything we can help you with, don’t hesitate to ask. In exchange, you can lend me some choice titles from your otaku collection…” Haru rolled her eyes and smacked his hand. Yuuko and Yua also put their hands on the pile. “You’ll be fine as long as you just follow Saku’s instructions,” said Yuuko. “Saku will never let you down, Kentacchi.” “But maybe lay off the whole ‘harem slut’ thing. Sooner rather than later,” Yua added. They both grinned. I noticed that Yua’s free hand was clenched in a fist. Hope she didn’t plan to use it. Meanwhile, Kenta was sitting there looking like all his dreams had just come true. “…There ya go. Training level over. It was easy, wasn’t it?” I was the final one to add my hand to the pile. After hesitating for a second, Kenta finally placed his hand on top. “Thank you for having my back, everyone… Was that the right thing to say, King?” I grinned. Then we all raised our hands in the air, cheering as one. There, now it was official. He was endorsed by Team Chitose. “…So what was that whole song and dance about?” “Ah, you caught me.” After lunch, we were on our way back to the classroom when Kazuki pulled me aside. Just like Nanase did last week. My luck was all over the place, it seemed. “You weren’t exactly being subtle. Look, I don’t discriminate, but I do differentiate. That kid just isn’t the type that belongs in a group like ours. Sooner or later, he’s gonna realize that, too, suffer a massive inferiority complex, then have a complete breakdown.” “Listen, I just forgot to explain things to you beforehand. I wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on you. I don’t have the energy for that.” I gave Kazuki a brief explanation of the situation. “Honestly, there’s a ton of other routes you could have gone down that didn’t involve him having to hang out with us. You could have gotten him hooked on Ucchi or Yuuko, used them as bait to bring him back. Or you could have just shamed him and lectured him into returning to school. This way…it just causes the most inconvenience for everyone, Saku.” Kazuki almost seemed annoyed with me or something. “Dude, I thought about all that. But it just didn’t seem right. It didn’t fit with my aesthetic.” “Your ‘I am so great, and everyone loves me’ aesthetic?” “Yeah. But it doesn’t sound as cool when you say it like that…” Kazuki sighed deeply. “All right, all right. Whatever. If that’s what you need to do to feel good about yourself, then fine. You could have just said you felt bad for him and wanted to help him out of the goodness of your heart.” “Well, I don’t. I only want to do it to boost my image. You don’t get an opportunity like this every day. I wanna be Saku Chitose, the class president who takes care of business and helps the teacher deal with his little problem student.” “Right, but no one in class, no one in our group even, knew what you were doing. You want to show how superior you are? At least make sure people understand what the hell is going on. Otherwise, what’s the point of even doing it? Your actions are completely illogical, you know.” Kazuki trailed off then and shrugged. His grin said he was willing to let all this slide. “Have you ever turned down anyone’s request for help, brah?” Man, he was pissing me off. Don’t “brah” me. You’re a Fukui country bumpkin like the rest of us. I hoped that one of his fangirls stole his change of underwear during training so he had to walk home stinky. “I don’t help out everyone I see who’s in trouble. Only the people who come directly to me.” “So that means you assist everyone who asks you. You act like you’re such a cool guy, but you’re really a regular old Good Samaritan. And you’re so sneaky about it. Why can’t you just be more honest? Drop the tough-guy act. Maybe you’d have a few less enemies if you did that.” “Ah, shut up, asshole. Don’t try to label me! Anyway, you’re always bending over backward to get people to like you, too. Can’t you see the irony, hmm?” I was getting annoyed with this conversation, and I wanted to change the subject. “I’m nice when it suits me. But you seem to have this Kenta kid fooled. No matter how nice you have us all act toward him, the social hierarchy still stands. You think he can change that just based on his tone of voice, his conversational skills, or what seat he takes at the cafeteria? Too bad, the social structure has already been solidified by this point. Second year is way too late to change that.” “…Yeah, probably.” Social structure this, social hierarchy that. I’m so sick of it all. I knew Kazuki himself didn’t really care that much about things like that. He was just speaking in broad terms here. But the school hierarchy in this Podunk Fukui town…had deep roots. Kazuki kept on doggedly. “If he had any knack for this stuff, he’d have dealt with his issues himself. Locking himself in his room, avoiding school, and making excuses… That kind of thing just proves where his position in society ought to be.” “I’m not arguing with you there.” I meant it, too. “What do you think of Kenta as a person, though, Kazuki?” “Honestly? I don’t mind him. He’s pretty funny. I wouldn’t mind being casual school pals with him.” I knew there was a but coming, so I stayed silent and waited for it. Kazuki sighed. “But…I don’t really want to hang out with him every day, like how I feel about you, Kaito, Yuuko, Ucchi, Yuzuki, and Haru. He doesn’t have that spark. He may be a novelty and a source of amusement now, but it’s going to get old fast.” “Yeah, I know. I agree totally.” I made that clear to Kenta himself, after all, didn’t I? “But just picking something and setting your mind to do something… Don’t you think it’s kinda…cool and ‘hard-boiled’ of me?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I never do. Anyway, I prefer soft-boiled eggs myself.” “Okay, let’s use your metaphor, then. You’ve got this runny egg in front of you… Don’t you wanna throw some soy sauce on that bad boy? Improve it some?” “I usually cut off the tops and sprinkle on some salt, myself.” “Let’s try another example. Say Yuuko and I were drowning in the sea, which one would you save?” “Yuuko, obviously.” “Even if the waters were filled with crocodiles and piranhas?” “If the waters are filled with crocodiles and piranhas, you’re both on your own. I’ll light a candle for you sometime. If I remember.” “…So that’s where you fall, huh?” After school that day, I gave Kura a basic progress update up on the roof. Kura had only asked me to get Kenta back to school, so I guess it would be more accurate to call it a final report. Everything I was doing from this point forth was optional. After hearing me out, Kura said, “You definitely went about this in the Saku Chitose way, didn’t you?” “What do you mean by that?” “OTT and overdramatic. Doing it for the look of it. You’re like a titty bar waitress in her thirties, wearing a school blazer and pretending she’s in her teens.” “Are you trying to start trouble with me, sir?” Kura cackled and blew a stream of Lucky Strike cigarette smoke out of his nostrils. “Perish the thought. But I like a brazen titty bar waitress in her thirties who pretends to be a teenager for the laughs, rather than one in her twenties who almost seems embarrassed that she’s no longer in her teens. Being considered a hero is mostly nonsense, just meaningless optics. Unless you’ve got the skills to unleash a powerful surprise attack when the moment calls for it.” “Meaningless optics?” Kura narrowed his eyes. Maybe smoke got into them. I couldn’t read his expression. “Not that I’m blaming your methodology. Getting sidetracked and taking the long route is where the real spice of life is to be found. After all, sometimes we have to move ahead faster than we want. While you’re young, you should take time for detours. Focus too much on getting to adulthood in the most efficient way, and you’ll end up an efficient adult with little in the way of character. You’ll end up versatile, functional, and entirely replaceable.” “If only Kazuki were here to hear this.” “Never mind him. He’s different from you. He’s the type to seriously consider whether a detour would mean something to him or if it would simply be a waste of time. Whether that’s the right decision doesn’t matter. He’ll end up like a mass-produced, consumable product.” “Yikes, imagine a world flooded with mass-produced Kazukis.” I slurped down some of the iced café latte I’d bought at the nearby convenience store. Thinking back over my spat with Kazuki earlier, I suddenly realized I wanted to get Kura’s opinion on something. “Can I ask you something, Kura?” “There’s still four days until payday. I’ve only got twelve bucks in my pocket. Can’t lend you what I don’t have, kid.” Kura pulled a crumpled note and two coins from his suit pocket to show me. “Geez, next you’ll be borrowing from us. But listen, Kura. What do you think about social hierarchy?” “Hmm, that’s an unusually abstract question from you.” Kura fell silent, sucking down his cigarette for a while before speaking again. “To answer in equally abstract terms… Social hierarchy is inevitable. It’s our cross to bear, as human beings.” “Our cross to bear, huh?” “Living life your own way is flowery rhetoric that sounds good, but there aren’t many people out there who can go their own way in the society and times we live in, with the backgrounds we come from and the paths that are open to us. Most people never make the effort to recalibrate their moral compasses and social altimeters to try to understand what the inner landscapes of other people are really like.” The tip of his cigarette let off a crackling sound as it glowed red. “So instead we simply observe others and ask ourselves if what they’re doing is the thing we should all be doing or not. We want to drag everyone down to our level so we can reassure ourselves we’re in the right. We can’t relax unless we do that. Rather than strike out alone and risk failure, it’s better to fail as a group, relying on the safety and security of the herd. That’s how we live our lives, like herd animals.” Kura stubbed out his stump of a cigarette in his pocket ashtray, then immediately lit up another one. “But every now and then, you encounter people who are making their own path, people who never stop to wonder if what they’re doing is what’s normal or right. People like you, and Mizushino, too.” It sounded like Kura was actually choosing his words thoughtfully for once. “But people who are making their own path, not wondering if they’re in the right… That doesn’t mean they actually are in the right, now, does it?” I remained silent, listening for the rest. “When people come across someone like that, there’s a range of ways they react to them. If they feel like that person is coming from the same place as them, they’ll follow. Then you have the blind sheep who follow anyone who looks confident. But you also have those who simply observe, as well as those who seek to distance themselves as much as possible, claiming that person is simply misguided. Those differences lead to the construction of a social hierarchy. Only the ones in the lead get to set the standard that everyone else is supposed to reach.” “…Somehow, I feel like your moral compass is more righteous than any other adult’s I know.” “No one’s got a completely righteous moral compass. Certainly not you kids. We have to decide for ourselves what morality means to us. That’s all we have to go on.” How did I get to this point, again? The thought seemed to come out of nowhere. My compass was pointing right up at the sky, probably. Toward the moon… The moon I reached my hand up to that day… Then Kura yawned, distracting me from my nebulous thoughts. “Incidentally, I don’t really care whether I’m right. I’m not headed in any specific direction anyway. I just go with the flow, wherever the tide takes me. As long as the direction I’m headed in has booze, cigarettes, and titty bars, I’m fine with that.” “Replace titty bars with women, and you’ll sound fifty percent less asshole-ish.” I decided to stop thinking about the heavy stuff any further. “Good job, though. It looks like you’re planning to stick with Yamazaki for a while longer. But from here on, you’re on your own, okay?” Kura got to his feet with a “Hup!” “You didn’t even give me any guidelines or advice to begin with.” “I pointed you at the kid and gave you a simple instruction, and I thought that would suffice. Which it did.” I got to my feet as well, swiping the dust off the seat of my pants. “You’ll do anything to pass the buck, won’t you? I think it’s scandalous on the part of a so-called educator. Once your paycheck comes in, you should take Kenta and me to lunch to say thank-you—” “Whoops! Almost time for my private session at the gentleman’s club!” “Get back here, old man. It’s not even dark yet. And you’ve only got twelve bucks.” “Listen, Chitose. You have something far more precious, far more valuable than money. You might not understand it right now, but someday…with the wisdom of age…” “Don’t think you can distract me with some sappy ‘Youth is worth more than money’ talk.” “…Ah, hello? Yes, I’d like to book a private room with Hitomi tonight at nine PM…” “Hey! Are you seriously booking a call girl right now?!!!” I sent Kenta a quick message saying “I’m done,” and he instantly responded with “I’m waiting by the school gates.” I made sure I had all my stuff and then headed out of the school building. I could see Kenta standing by the school gates with his back to me. I already told him I’d walk home with him today, so we could go over his progress so far. “The heck is wrong with you, man? The school gates? Why couldn’t you wait in the classroom? Meeting by the gates—are you a schoolgirl with a crush on me or something?” “Ah, I just thought this would be the easiest landmark to meet at… I mean, I figured this way I’d be able to catch you if you forgot and tried to go home without me…” “Forget the schoolgirl with a crush; you’re actually just a stalker. You could have just called me if it came to that.” Kenta’s eyes widened, as if the thought had never occurred to him. Shaking my head, I started walking. “So how did it go? Your first day back at school?” “Uh, well. This probably sounds overdramatic, but I have to say…it was the kind of day that made me want to rethink my entire life up until this point…” “You weren’t getting baptized in the Ganges River or anything. You keep saying stuff like that, and you’ll be easy prey for cultists and Ponzi schemers.” “No, no, I really mean it, though. It’s like, wow, what kind of tiny, sheltered world have I been living in all this time, you know?” “Oh yeah? …What do you mean, specifically?” “Honestly… Popular kids are nice. No one tried to put me down, and none of them did any backstabbing or bitching about any other kids, either. They were super nice and welcoming even though I inserted myself into their group out of nowhere, and I look like…this. Everyone’s so…open-minded and earnest, and they even took my side when I told them about my personal problem… I mean, really, one day with them was already way more uplifting than all the times I spent with my otaku hobbyist group…” Hearing Kenta say all this made me feel really good about dragging him out of his otaku den and pushing him back into the real world. I’d been a little concerned about the possibility that exposing Kenta to popular kids might backfire and lead him to develop an inferiority complex, but it seemed like he’d really warmed to us. Good—that meant I could cut him loose sooner, and he’d be fine on his own. At any rate, the chances of him wanting to retreat to the safety of his bedroom seemed to have dropped dramatically. “What about your conversational skills? That’s what you were worried about.” “I can’t say it went smoothly or anything, but I managed to get through it! I asked questions like you said. And I tried to open up about myself, too, and find points in common. Communication, making conversation… It’s a legitimate skill, isn’t it?” “…In other words?” “I know you kept telling me it’s all about wanting to get to know the other person, King… But when I actually put those things into practice, the words just started flowing. I guess all I need is practice! The reason I always sucked at making conversation was because I got hung up on my own insecurities… I didn’t care to get to know others, and I feared them getting to know me then rejecting me…” “Well, yeah. If you’re only using your conversational skills to find out about someone else’s interests, but you’re not actually interested in them, then it’s like trying to build a secure castle out of papier-mâché. It’s not the conversation that’s the objective. It’s improving relationships. If you’re not sincere, the other person will be able to tell.” “…Before I met you, I don’t think I even thought that hard about sincerity. I was like, how do you make yourself seem sincere?” “Good. Then at least you were questioning it.” Kenta nodded, smiling. It looked like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders over the course of the day. “I guess I’ve realized that complaining all the time and making excuses won’t ever lead to any kind of personal growth…” In only one day, Kenta’s mindset had progressed this much. I was genuinely pleased to see it. “…That’s one of your good points, Kenta.” I threw that out there as a casual, offhand remark. “…One of my good points? What makes you say that?” “You’ve got the ability to recognize where you’ve gone wrong and have taken steps to correct it. Until now, you’ve been way too entrenched in otaku culture. Of course, I’m not saying you have to abandon that mindset completely. It’s one way of seeing the world, after all. And I’m not saying that popular kids are always in the right.” Kenta didn’t seem to realize I was trying to give him a compliment here. But that was fine. One day, Kenta would look back on this and be able to feel proud of how he’d grown. Figuring there was no need to say any more on this topic, I changed the subject. “By the way, Kenta… What did you think of the other members of Team Chitose? Who would you date if you had the option?” Kenta blushed. “Wh-what?” He flailed. “…Wh-why would you ask me something like that, all of a sudden…?” “Oh, relax. It’s a totally normal topic of conversation among kids like us. I’m ready to cheer you on, as long as it’s not someone I’m interested in myself.” “Y-yeah, but… Uh…okay, then. If I had to pick someone…if I absolutely had to… You won’t tell her, will you? Okay, if I had to pick someone…it would be—” “Oh, let me warn you first that Yuuko and Yua are already on my list. Sorry about that.” “…Th-then, what about Nanase?” “Sorry…” “Aomi…?” “Hate to inform you…” “Then there’s no one left for you to cheer me on with!” “Not true. You still have your pick between Kazuki and Kaito. Lucky you!” “Aw, man…” That weekend, on a sunny Saturday afternoon, Yuuko, Kenta, and I all met at the entrance to the Lpa mall. Kenta was in his school uniform as instructed, and Yuuko and I were wearing our regular clothes. “King, Yuuko… Thanks for giving up your weekend time for me.” Kenta’s eyes kept darting about. “No worries. This is actually a date between Yuuko and me, and us helping you pick clothes is kinda like if we were at an amusement park, and we wanted to go into the haunted house.” “That’s right!” “…Is the sight of me trying to improve my appearance really such a monstrous thing to you guys?” Lpa was filled with little kids and their parents, junior high schoolers, high schoolers, college kids, grown-ups, old folks, the whole spectrum. I guess it was the weekend and all, but didn’t they have anywhere else to hang out? “By the way, Kentacchi, have you lost a little weight?” Yuuko prodded Kenta’s chest and belly as she spoke. “Uh, y-yeah. I’ve been weighing myself every day, and I’ve lost four pounds.” Kenta was as jittery and nervous as ever, but I guess I could give him a pass today. “Wow, you really must have been feeling the effects of staying inside all day. Four pounds in one week—that’s amazing! And you’ve even mastered how to style your hair with wax, like I showed you at school! Good job!” …I take it back. Yuuko was wearing a light, off-the-shoulder top with short-shorts. It was the kind of outfit that could look a little trashy, but she made it elegant with her sophisticated rose-gold necklace and pinkie ring—and her little leather shoulder bag. The top’s exposed neckline offered the faintest suggestion of cleavage, especially if she leaned forward. It was designed to kill a virgin instantly. I leaned in to whisper in Kenta’s ear. “Listen here, Kenta. Sometimes a man has to rise to the occasion, you know what I’m saying? And then other times, he needs to show serious self-restraint. You dig me?” “S-s-stop it! You’re just making me even more aware of it! I was busy trying to steel my mind and count backward from a hundred, but now you’ve distracted me!”