I was about to die from exhaustion. What a battle of nerves! Were they joking around? Were they fighting? I had no idea. If this is how adults do things, I never want to grow up!
While I sat there, sweating, Moffle-senpai and Ashe-san continued to exchange cheerful(?) banter. In a complete change of subject, they moved on to pro baseball. Surprisingly, Moffle-senpai was a fan of the Giants. But he was the annoying kind of Giants fan who had a lot of internal conflict as a baseball fan, and had to contort himself into all kinds of knots to get over it. Meanwhile, Ashe-san was a fan of Hiroshima. She was an old-school fan who’d been very resentful of the recent “Carp Girls” phenomenon, but by now she’d gotten over it and remained a Hiroshima fan on the basis that the team’s growing popularity was helping them. It was so annoying!
When they asked me what team I liked, I answered, “the Red Sox,” and got ignored; apparently, MLB wasn’t allowed. I should have read the table better. Sorry!
Incidentally, when they asked the question of Wanipii-senpai, he just shut them down with, “I don’t watch baseball, pii.”
“You never change, Wanipii,” Moffle-senpai sighed.
“What does that mean, pii?”
“You know... Just name any ball club, even as a joke,” Moffle told him. “Like the Nankai Hawks.” I couldn’t tell how that was a joke, though I’d heard a ball club with that name had existed a long time ago.
“But I really don’t know anything about baseball teams, pii!” Wanipii-senpai protested. “I could name every past and present Morning Musume member if you want me to, though.”
“R-Really, fumo?”
“Easily, pii. Want me to try, pii? I’ll go alphabetically...”
“No, that’s not necessary.” Ashe-san cut him off swiftly. Wanipii-senpai looked sad about that.
“But idol groups... that’s an unknown frontier for us, isn’t it, fumo?” Moffle said thoughtfully. “We just kind of threw Task Force ABC together, of course. What do you think of them, Wanipii?” Moffle-senpai may have been trying to be considerate, as Wanipii-senpai had been almost completely silent since they’d first arrived at Savage. Maybe he was feeling bad about that and was changing the subject to Wanipii-senpai’s specialty.
Incidentally, Task Force ABC was a local idol unit produced by AmaBri. It was made of Adachi Eiko-san, Bando Biino-san, and Chujo Shiina-san—three mortal part-time workers. You could say they were like rivals to Elementario, but I was the only one who seemed to notice the threat they posed. Salama, Kobory, and Sylphie would all just watch their PVs and say things like, “Wow, so cute!” Didn’t they realize that they could steal our theater?! I mean, they really are cute, okay? I just wish someone would acknowledge that they’re our rivals! That’s all. Excuse me. Anyway, back to the question to Wanipii-senpai.
When Moffle-senpai asked him about idol groups, Wanipii-senpai immediately took on the air of the expert, let his shoulders relax with a sigh, and said, “Well... they’re not bad, pii.”
“Hmm?” said Moffle.
“But that by itself won’t get them out of the ‘local idols’ realm,” Wanipii-sensei pointed out. “They lack passion, pii. It feels like a local club’s side project, you know?”
“Hmm... I suppose that’s true,” Moffle admitted. “But don’t people like that these days, fumo?”
“It’s not that simple, pii,” Wanipii sighed. “Back in the day, you know? A girl born with good looks could go to an audition and say ‘My friends forced me into this; I didn’t want to come,’ pii. But things are different now, pii. There’s been improvements in diet and plastic surgery... well, I’ll assume they don’t have surgery, but all the girls are a lot prettier now, pii. The industry’s gotten more refined, pii. It’s become harder to break out of the pack, pii. So if you’re the kind of girl who’s ‘pretty enough, but you might have two or three like her in class,’ the best way to get people rooting for you is to be seen working extra hard, pii.”
“Oh-ho... I can see that, fumo.”
“In other words, they need passion, pii. They need to work hard and care deeply about the people who support them if they want to pick up fans, pii. Task Force ABC lacks that, pii.”
“Hmm...” Moffle mused.
“That’s not to say they don’t each have things going for them, pii. Eiko-chan is sexy, which is rare to see combined with a rich girl background these days, pii. Biino-chan’s positivity is great, pii. And... Shiina-chan’s singing voice is amazing, pii. ...But they need more than that to compete, pii. They don’t realize what they bring to the table, pii. They seem skeptical about their fans, too,” Wanipii critiqued, “which suggests that they don’t think highly of themselves. Of course, it’s really difficult for adolescent girls to strike a good balance between confidence and arrogance, but a slight lean towards arrogance is preferable, pii. In other words, unless those girls really get serious, they’re never gonna break out any further, pii.
“...Of course, breaking out brings its own challenges,” he continued. “It’s a harsh world out there, pii. The Internet’s not like it used to be, either; people can send you cruel comments directly, pii. They may have to do a lot of work they don’t really want to do... So staying as a loose local unit like they are now, then dispersing some time next year or so... might really be the best choice for them. They’ll make some lovely memories, and in 20 years or so, they can show pictures from this time to their children, and say, ‘That’s mommy right there!’ It’s not a bad thought, is it, pii? It’s a safe compromise that doesn’t hurt anybody.”
I’d never seen Wanipii-senpai speak so lucidly about anything. Plus, everything he was saying sounded really smart. I’d actually gained some respect for him.
“Of course, that’s just my own analysis,” he finished. “Others might feel differently.”
“Hmm... but it’s a very fine analysis,” Ashe-san said.
“I’m impressed too, fumo,” Moffle-senpai agreed.
“Ehehe... really, pii?”
“Well, let’s set this talk of idols aside, and go back to the earlier subject, fumo.”
“P-Pii?!” I had to agree that their treatment was cruel. Why not give him a few more moments in the sun?
Moffle-senpai just ignored Wanipii-senpai’s shocked stare, and cleared his throat. “Well, if we let you talk any more, you’ll go on forever, fumo. Besides, it’s similar to work talk,” he said dismissively. “Enough!”
“So cruel, pii...” Wanipii-senpai slumped over.
“What was the earlier subject, again? Girls who start dating after attending women’s colleges?” Ashe said, dragging up the topic everyone had more or less forgotten.
“Not that, fumo. ...Well, that was interesting in its own right,” Moffle admitted. “But we were talking about Seiya, fumo.”
“Ahh. Kanie-san, right,” Ashe-san agreed. “Speaking of which, Moffle-san, you seem very concerned with Kanie-san. Do you love him now?”
“Why would you say that, fumo?” Moffle asked in shock. “Who are you, Kobory?”
“I don’t mean it that way,” Ashe-san protested.
He struck the implication right down. I knew I couldn’t tell Kobory about this; it would shatter her. That thought reminded me of the fact that Ashe-san’s voice and Kobory’s sounded very similar. (Not that it matters. Please forget I said it.)
“It’s just, Moffle-san, you seem to praise Kanie-san a lot more than you used to,” Ashe-san pointed out.