You don’t understand, you don’t understand, you don’t understand. Why won’t you understand me?!
I do everything I do for you, Auld. Why won’t you understand?
I’m the only one who can protect you. I can’t let anyone fall in love with naive, vulnerable you. I’m the only one allowed to love you. I’m the only one allowed to love you. It’s fate. You and I only have each other. We must only love each other.
Please… You know I’m right.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Who were you with?”
“I was at work.”
“Liar. I know you were with that harlot!”
I knew everything. Everything. I knew the woman by his side. I knew her name, her face, her age. I know where you saw her today and what you talked about. I know what you shared a laugh over. You wouldn’t bring me with you, yet you had the audacity to smile with a woman other than me? That’s insanity. You’re my destiny. We were born to be together. That’s why you can only love me. You care only for me. Your kindness, your chivalry—only I need know your virtues. Your beauty belongs only to me.
Please…tell me you love me.
✦ ✦ ✦
See? I knew you and I were destined for each other.
✦ ✦ ✦
The weight I held in my arms—that alone was precious. This soft creature, its eyes still closed, was a symbol of my love with Auld. Our love had been made tangible; it had danced into my arms from the heavens. How beautiful, how sublime. Auld and I loved each other. My love had reached him. I wasn’t mistaken.
Perhaps he’d mistaken my actions for distrust toward him. Perhaps he was a man who turned toward those who showed him love. Perhaps that was why he’d gotten so angry and snapped at me to stop. Ah, I see, I see. He’d thought that I doubted his love. He was wrong. I didn’t doubt his love; I simply couldn’t bear even the minute possibility of anyone stealing him from me.
It was a misunderstanding that only could have happened to a pair of lovers who adored each other so much. But I hadn’t told him everything he needed to hear. I hadn’t explained that I’d only done everything I had out of love. I needed to tell him when he got home.
So please, hurry… Come home to me.
✦ ✦ ✦
Auld hadn’t come back. My father named our daughter. He saw the violets my mother let wither away and decided to name her Violette.
Her round eyes and soft hair were a light ash gray. She had the exact face of Auld in the photographs from his youth. Anyone would know her to be Auld’s child on sight. What a beautiful baby. A symbol of our love. Proof of his love for me. My treasure, that I wouldn’t let anybody else touch. As long as I had his baby, he would have to come back to me. He would remember his love for me… My love for him. He loved me. He loved only me. He would remember that I was the only one he could love.
As the baby giggled in my arms, I felt warmth deep in my chest.
Ahh… You really do look exactly like him.
✦ ✦ ✦
Auld didn’t return home. I heard he had another baby.
That couldn’t be. He loved me; he loved only me. He could never possibly love anyone else. He cared only for me; he could care only for me. We were destined.
Only for me… My only… He’d been born into this world for my sake alone!
“Deaw Mama?”
Such round eyes, looking at me. Light-ash hair. The same coloring as his. My beautiful, sweet child, who looked just like a young Auld. Looked like? No. Was the same as. Had the same face as his, the same hair, the same eyes. Oh—but the hair length wasn’t right. I could just cut it. The name wasn’t right either—I could just change it. Then this child would be just the same as Auld.
“Oh,” I breathed. “Why didn’t I see it before?”
You were here all along, Auld.
✦ ✦ ✦
Auld had come back! Back to me! He was born into this world for my sake!
He was still quite short, but he would grow up in time. I compared him to his photographs over and over, and he looked identical. I could impart the same knowledge, little by little. I could even give him the same scars. It was all right; I knew where they all were, even the ones out of sight.
Ahh. So sublime, so wonderful. He truly was mine and mine alone. He’d been reborn into this world to love only me. To make right the past, when he’d loved someone else. My, how deep his love ran. I love you so much, my dear, that I’ll wait as long as it takes. Even if you call me Mother by mistake, I’ll teach you to address me the correct way as many times as I have to.
Come, now—call my name.
✦ ✦ ✦
My Auld left me again. It seemed he’d been reborn for me, but it ended in failure. He hadn’t come back to me. Without him, I couldn’t eat. So, please, come back to see me. Without you, I can’t go on living.
It’s the same for you, my sweet. Isn’t that so?
✦ ✦ ✦
I could feel my heart slowly coming to a stop. My arms, no different from withered branches, were a strain just to lift. I could hear somebody’s voice… But it wasn’t Auld’s voice, so I didn’t care. Where was he? Why wasn’t he here?