Afterword
HEY ALL. It’s me, Yasohachi Tsuchise.
Volume 4, right? Four whole volumes! Talk about a historical undertaking, amirite? By the way, this is completely unrelated, but I’m basically the magistrate who handles anything and everything. Sorry, I know this has nothing to do with anything. Please forgive me. I have a full five pages to fill here, largely because I miscalculated how long this volume would be. If I don’t shift jobs over to being a magistrate, how am I supposed to fill up an additional five pages?
I am the magistrate who can handle anything! As such, five pages is nothing to me!
That’s more than enough self-brainwashing for now.
Anyhow, I’m going to use this vast space to write about something I haven’t written about in any of the afterwords yet. That said, if I suddenly write about the matcha latte I got from the drink bar at Jonathan’s and how tasty it was (it was sweet and green), I doubt the readers would be very happy (I’ve already spent nearly three lines on this), so instead I’m going to write about something related to shovels. But now that I think about it, there’s nothing on this planet unrelated to shovels, so I guess that means I can write about whatever I want. Man, being omnipotent rules. All hail the shovel!
Ahem. So, about them shovels.
Back in Volume 1, I wrote about the reasons why I went with a shovel fantasy. If I remember correctly, part of it was because of a famous idol character who would often dig holes for herself, and how I felt that was extremely fantasy-like. As part of my current brainwashing technique, I just had some shochu to strengthen the effect, so my memory is a bit fuzzy. You’ll have to forgive me.
The little idol that digs holes only to bury herself in them is both extremely cute and extremely fantas[tic/]y.
That was reason numero uno.
But actually, things get real after that.
Reason number two: I wanted a fantasy where shovels are the most useful weapon when it comes to trench warfare.
Needless to say, as this is common sense, it is widely believed that during the first and second World Wars, the shovel was the most useful weapon in trench-based close-range combat. Legendary, even. Now, let’s put aside whether that’s true or not and embrace the fact that it sure seems like an attractive bit of fantasy, no?
Nearly two hundred million people participated in both wars. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that almost all of those soldiers held fantasies of shovels within their hearts. In other words, you’re looking at the fantasy power of over two hundred million people. If I remember correctly, Japan’s population is something like one hundred million, three hundred thousand people, give or take. So we’re talking about a fantasy power almost one and a half times greater. Isn’t that nuts? Is this even correct? I’m kind of worried now, but whatever, it’s all true (self-brainwashing).
On top of that, Japan is the source of what we call Asian fantasy, which means that this shovel fantasy power (remember: one and a half times greater than Japan’s) is also one and a half times greater than the fantasy power of the ninja, the icon of oriental fantasy.
One and a half times greater than ninja fantasy power. This is undoubtedly amazing.
The shovel has quantitatively been proven to be fantasy.
Well then, now that I’m almost done with my shochu, on to the next reason.
Reason number three: The shovel is an extremely important tool when it comes to clearing dungeons.
I believe I wrote about this in Volume 3 during the Dark Nation arc. Yeah, that sounds about right. I’ll have my editor confirm this for me later. Seriously, I’m really sorry (random apology ahoy!). Anyway, dungeons have been an important function of fantasy since the beginning of time. Considering how that one series about picking up people in dungeons has grabbed the hearts of so many, I think it’s safe to say that to many, dungeons = fantasy now.
Anyway, when it comes to clearing dungeons, being able to control the terrain is extremely important.
For example, let’s talk about one of the grandfathers of fantasy game genres, the roguelike—specifically, games like NetHack, Angband, and the Wanderer series. Being able to dig into the ground and control the environment to create an advantage for yourself is a key technique across all three games.
Because the shovel is what makes this possible, it’s extremely important. And because dungeons = fantasy, shovels are therefore a requirement in fantasy stories. And since the shovel is a requirement, one could argue that fantasy and shovels are actually one and the same.
Whoa, hold up, me. Is this really okay? Aren’t you kind of brute-forcing this a little?
Sorry, now I’m kinda worried about my whole thesis.
It’s easy to be misunderstood when writing a novel like this, but I often worry about my own point of view. For example, I spent three years worrying about whether zaru soba was cute or not. I’m the type of person who has to keep thinking things over, then at the end of that long process, I have to come up with a bunch of reasons as to why I shouldn’t be concerned.
That’s the kind of “worry” I’m talking about right now, so I’m gonna get on to reason number four.
Reason number four: Shovels fire Wave Motion Shovel Blasts.
Shovels fire Wave Motion Shovel Blasts, even outside of this series. As proof of this, there were powers akin to Wave Motion Shovel Blasts in a game I played just before writing this novel. The Wave Motion Shovel Blast-esque power in said game pierced walls and enemies alike, dealing 500 points of base damage. It was the strongest attack in the game and had a decomposition attribute.
The important bit here is the decomposition stuff. In terms of that attribute, both shovels and the Wave Motion Shovel Blast are one and the same.
The shovel is a tool designed to allow you to take apart the ground. A Wave Motion [Shovel] Blast is a beam designed to take apart space itself. This means they have a high level of compatibility with one another. If I remember correctly, back in Volume 1, I wrote about how I came up with the Wave Motion [Shovel] Blast because of one of the cheer songs at summer high school baseball tournament. Although, even before that, I knew that beams could be fired from shovels, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to start writing about them.
So: Wave Motion Shovel Blasts are the most extreme fantasy of all, which makes a shovel that can fire a Wave Motion Shovel Blast fantasy as well.
Under that logic, I believe that shovels are fantasy.
And just like that, five pages, POOF! Gone. Shovels are awesome.
Last but not least, some words of gratitude.
To my editor. All I can do is keep apologizing. The fact that you’re reviewing even this afterword is something I’m so grateful for. Hagure Yuuki-sensei, despite how crazy things were this time out, thank you so much for the incredibly adorable Lithisia illustrations you drew for me. To Fukuhara-sensei, in charge of the manga adaptation, thank you so much for the Alice juices. They’re the best. I’m hoping for mountain bandit boss juices too. Wait, what am I saying?
And last but not least, to the readers. Thank you for everything. If you laughed even once while reading this, I’m eternally grateful. I plan on writing stories like this going forward. Apparently, I’ll be writing Volume 5, so, uh, I’m hoping for your support going forward.
And that’s all from yours truly, Yasohachi Tsuchise! Catch you later, shovel (farewell)!