And so the three arrived at Asmodeus’s palace, Ballad Willnua. It was a terribly strange place. Halls stretched for miles in all directions. Molten steel poured from ceilings as tall as towers. Beneath translucent floor tiles, the stars sprawled in their multitude.
“Space-time is falling apart, melted by the flames,” Alan explained. “In other words, don’t try digging up the floor here. You’ll fall into a distortion of space-time.”
“You’re the only one who’d try that.”
“Scoopty, scoop! Underscooped!” The princess replied as she sang and skipped along.
Catria sighed. Even in this haunting, fairy tale-like place, these two were the same as usual. Being scared would just make her look like an idiot.
“This is it. Keep your guard up,” said Alan as he stopped in his tracks. A colossal steel gate awaited them at the end of the hall. As they stood before it, it slowly opened with a boneshaking rumble.
Before them lay the throne room. A long red carpet led into it, and on both sides of the carpet were hundreds of demons standing in a line. But what really caught Catria’s attention was the thing sitting on the throne at the center of it all.
It was a girl, almost completely naked, with wavy silver hair and bone-white skin. She looked to be about half as tall as Catria.
“Hrmph, I was wondering who would have the gall to visit.”
However, the second Catria met the girl’s eyes, her blood became sluggish with fear. It was as if the thing before her could see into her very soul. She couldn’t stop shaking. With every quaking cell in her being, the lady knight knew this was the demon lord Asmodeus.
As for Asmodeus, she chuckled.
“It’s been three hundred years. I welcome you, Alan the miner.” Asmodeus rose to her feet, and she spoke in a voice that seemed to rumble directly within the mind. “What brings you to my palace, shovel?”
“You too?!” Catria interjected with everything she had. Give me back my sense of danger!
“No worries, Catria,” said Alan. “I’m just using my shovel to automatically translate her thoughts.”
“Then there’s a critical flaw in your automatic translation system! I feel bad for the demons!”
“You have quite the mouth on you, Shovel Follower of the Miner.”
“Excuse me?! I am no follower, I’m…!”
Asmodeus turned her gaze on Catria. It was a piercing gaze that threatened to simultaneously suck out and pulverize Catria’s soul. Catria couldn’t squeeze out the least bit of sound.
This is bad. She’s bad. She’s just like Alan before he fires his Wave Motion Shovel Blast.
Then Catria wrapped her hand around her sword, regaining her senses. “I’m…no…follower!”
If this being was anything like Alan, she could overcome them, too!
“Oho!” Asmodeus’s eyes flared and she cackled at the lady knight. “Miner Alan! Shoveltastic! A mere human managed to push back against my aura!”
“Catria’s no mere human. She’s exceptional.”
“AmazDemonShovgenius! (Amazing! Catria’s such a shovel genius that she’s even impressed a great demon!)” Lithisia joyfully bounced about using Shovel Transmission.
Meanwhile, Asmodeus stared long and hard at the princess. She looked vaguely uncomfortable. “Miner Alan, what is that? Is it a person? A shovel?”
“Shovel! (If I had to pick one, I’d say shovel!)”
“Humans truly are fascinating. She possesses the presence of both a human and a shovel.”
“Shovel (Humans can’t really exist without being shovel).”
“And this one is capable of pushing back against my aura as well. Incomprehensible.”
“Shovel (It’s the blessing of the shovel.).”
Princess Lithisia had come face-to-face with a similar being not too long ago. She wouldn’t budge this time. Asmodeus stared at her with great curiosity.
“It’s about time we get to the point. Asmodeus.” But there was only one thing on Alan’s mind: the return of the Purple Orb, which had begun as a treasure he excavated himself.
“…”
Asmodeus closed her eyes for a moment and listened to Alan’s case in silence. When at last she spoke, she said, “Here are my conditions. I’ll give you the orb, but in return, I request a shovel.”
An inconceivable response.
“Alan, your translator is busted. Fix it.”
“No, it’s working just fine. She really did just say she wants a shovel.”
Even a great demon’s consciousness had been corrupted by the shovel?
“Then just give them one. You have a bunch on you, right?” asked Catria.
“I can’t. The shovel Asmodeus wants is…”
“Her.” Asmodeus pointed at Catria.
An indescribable terror flooded the lady knight.
“Or perhaps, her.” Asmodeus then pointed to Lithisia. She was eyeing both women. It didn’t take long to understand what she was implying. “I have a great number of underlings, but I have no Shovel Underlings. Not yet.”
A moment of silence passed. Well, silence other than Asmodeus as she cackled gleefully. “I quite want one now. Miner Alan, what is your answer?”
The eyes of the demons lining the throne room glowed red. If Alan said no, they’d attack.
A flood of thoughts rushed through Catria’s mind all at once. Could Alan win? Normally she could state with confidence that he had any situation in the bag, but this time, their opponent was something else. Alan had told Catria that when he did battle with the King of Hell, Demogorgon, it was a fierce struggle. Furthermore, Asmodeus was a demon lord on her own turf, meaning she had the homefield advantage.
Plus, if this was an opponent Alan could easily beat, would he have needed to negotiate in the first place? Which meant…
Just as Catria stumbled upon the dire truth of the situation, Lithisia stepped forward.
“You mustn’t!”
“Shovel?!”
Catria forcibly pulled the princess back and hurriedly covered her mouth. Lithisia glared at the knight in protest, but Catria didn’t care. Regardless of the current circumstances, Lithisia was still a princess. Even if she had thrown away her humanity to become a shovel, Catria would be a failure of a knight if she let Lithisia sacrifice herself.
“Grrr! Shovel! (Catria, stop it! I’m going to shovel you!)”
“I’m sorry, Your Highness, but I can’t let you do this.” Catria gripped her Holy Knight Blade and stepped forward herself.
Her heart thudded, but not with fear. Her adrenaline was surging because of the upcoming battle. Catria had no intention of becoming an underling for a demon. She might hand herself over now, but she would remain vigilant for any opening that would allow her to destroy that thing from the inside. This would be no easy task, but the Holy Knight Blade in her hand gave her courage.
“Wait, Catria. Don’t be hasty,” Alan said.
But Catria did not wait.
“Alan, I leave the princess in your hands.” Catria pushed Lithisia into Alan’s arms. Her heart felt refreshed. A smile formed on her face.
But why?
In a heady moment, Catria realized the answer. At the end of the day, I guess I just wanted to catch him off guard, just once.
“Asmodeus. I understand your request. I, Holy Knight Catria…”
Shall become your underling.
But just as she was about to finish, Catria found her feet buried in the dirt. This caused her to fall forward and smack her forehead against the floor. It seriously hurt.
“GAAAAAH!”
“I told you not to be hasty,” said Alan. “I dug a trap hole there.”
“WHY?!”
“As prep for our battle, of course.”
Asmodeus’s eyebrow moved slightly. Catria twitched as well.
You mean he planned on fighting this thing all along? The reason he didn’t take action was because he was making preparations?!
“No, whoa, wait!” said Catria. “I was just gonna pretend to be their underling, not…!”
“You idiot. As if I could ever let you do something that dangerous.”
“Better than having the princess do it!”
“I’m not about to make comparisons. You’re both equally important to me.”
Catria froze. Er, wait, what did he just say?
“Miner Alan, will you not give me one of your shovels?” asked Asmodeus.
“I refuse.” Alan bluntly denied Asmodeus’s request and stood in front of Catria and Lithisia. “It’s my job to protect Lithisia. I promised to save her country in exchange for her shoveling for me. She even went so far as to offer herself up to the shovel for that promise.”
“Er, Sir Miner?!”
“That’s why it’s my responsibility to watch over her until the very end.”
Lithisia’s cheeks nearly exploded as they turned bright pink. The shock from hearing him say “it’s my responsibility” was too much for her, and she was now producing shovel juices from all kinds of places. Alan wasn’t about to be distracted by this, however.
“And you, Catria. It’s my job to raise you. You keep picking up my techniques with incredible speed. Starting with the Wave Motion Shovel Blast, just showing you the Shovel Basics is enough for you to learn them on your own. You’re even coming up with your own techniques.”
“H-hold on! Wait! What are you…?!”
“Catria, you’re like a gold vein of pure talent. That’s why…I want to mine everything you have.”
✦ ✦ ✦
A moment of silence settled on the room. Catria couldn’t breathe. All she could do was open and close her mouth.
What are you saying, you nut job?! I haven’t picked up any shovel techniques! I haven’t made any, either!
But she couldn’t voice her protests. The last bit about mining everything she had just kept repeating over and over in her head.
She was going to be mined. Catria. Everything.
“?!?!?!”
Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! The words wouldn’t come out. She felt hot. Her cheeks and chest and all sorts of other places were on fire. What are you, what are you, what are you saying?!?!
“Ah, jeez! Ah, jeez! Ah, jeeeeeez!!!!”
You can’t just go and say stuff like that to women! You damn natural-born shovel gigolo!
“What’s wrong, Catria? Get yourself together. Prepare for battle.”
“How can I get myself together, you big, dumb, idiot?!” Catria’s heart was racing a mile a minute, and the tears wouldn’t stop. Neither would her runny nose.
Damnit, damnit, damnit! This can’t be! This is total BS!
“ARRRRGGGGHHHH!” Catria put her hands over her chest and tried to calm her heartbeat.
“Hee hee, Miner Alan. You have quite the shovels on hand.”
“I’m not a goddamn shovel!”
“The fact that you’re saying that with tears in your eyes already shows just how shovel you are, Shovel Knight.” Asmodeus laughed delightedly.
No, no! This can’t be! These aren’t shovel feelings!
✦ ✦ ✦
But the pitter-patter in her heart just wouldn’t stop.