I forced my shaky legs to stand. My vision was cloudy, but I had a solid grip on my knife at least. As I healed the most pressing injuries with an orison, I stared across the cathedral hall. Cion’s next attack...didn’t come.
“Please, rest assured. I won’t kill you. I simply want you to understand.”
Cion was back at the saint’s side, looking over at me. The saint probably saw both of us as useful pawns to have under her control.
“Dammit...”
That woman made me sick to my stomach.
“You just keep talking all high and mighty... What, you think you’re a god now?!” I shouted.
“None of us can ever be gods.”
As the saint spoke, Cion leaped back into motion.
My left shoulder was dislocated. My injuries were healing slowly, and I felt a cold, clammy sweat covering me—I think one of my broken ribs might have been stabbing into something important.
“Fuck’s sake...”
My legs were shaking all the way down to my toes; just standing was taking all of my effort. Cion was deliberately avoiding my vital spots as she came at me, and so I managed to just barely put up some semblance of a defense. I was only able to fend off her blows because I knew she wasn’t trying to kill me, and even then, her attacks came way too close for comfort...
“Wha—?”
She cut a gash on my forehead, and the dripping blood forced one of my eyes to shut for a moment. Right as I lost my depth perception, she delivered a clean hit straight to my abdomen.
“Gah...”
Even as I groaned and whimpered, Cion remained silent and expressionless.
“Graaaah—!”
Squinting through tears, I pushed Cion back and retreated on unsteady feet. I panted and heaved, trying to calm my breathing as best as I could.
“Just let go,” the saint said softly. “You’re only human. There are heights you can never reach, foes you can never equal—surely you understand that much.”
Just the sound of her voice, just the scent of the mana spilling out of her, made my breath catch in my throat. The pressure emanating from her felt powerful enough to shatter me. I was simply outclassed as a living organism. I thought I’d long since understood, but that soul-crushing awareness was still utterly infuriating.
General Heavenfang had told me that the Demon Lord had wanted to coexist with humanity—and that if demonkind truly wished it, they could wipe us out in the blink of an eye.
“Of course I know that, dammit...”
Just one month ago, I’d been killed by a demon. Not nearly killed—I’d actually died back then. Just thinking back on it sent chills down my spine; I could feel my face tighten into a cold grimace at the recollection. I remembered that sensation of my own existence disappearing. I remembered the outlines of myself and the world becoming indistinct as my consciousness dissolved away. I remembered that terror, and I never wanted to experience it ever again.
Maybe humanity truly didn’t stand a chance against demons. Aside from the small handful of people we called champions, no one was capable of resisting them. Maybe we didn’t have any option but to accept their rule and live as their pets.
“But even so—!” I gritted my teeth. I wouldn’t let my teacher’s death be in vain. “I won’t—I can’t obey you!”
No matter how much blood my body was stained with; no matter how sullied and tainted a bride I became; no matter how many innocents I’d murdered with my own hands...
“I will never avert my eyes from the lives I’ve taken!”
Even if killing others was the only way this world would allow me to live—even if someday, that cycle came back around, and I lost my own life in turn—I would carry no regrets. That was my duty as the one who’d plucked out all those lives; that was my cross to bear.
“Even if there comes a day when the souls of the dead seize your body in their grip?”
“I know what I signed up for.”
“Even if you burn alive in the flames of hell?”
“I’ll reap what I’ve sown!”
“Why...?” The saint grew distraught in the face of my defiant glare. “That— That is not a path anyone ought to walk of their own will!”
“But it’s my past and my weight to carry.”
The same went for those devil-touched children—for all of us, even those who bore no sins of their own.
“In order to live in this world—this Godless world, devoid of salvation—we need to carry it with us. Our pasts, our mistakes—all of it.”
How else could our debts to the dead ever be repaid?
“Is that it, then?” The saint spoke softly, tears still streaming down her cheeks. “I see now why he thought so highly of his pupil—why he entrusted you with this.”
Her crimson eyes were fixed on me, and her trembling lips formed themselves into a smile.
“But all the same, I cannot simply abandon one who would walk such a path.”
The moment I saw that smile, I instinctively braced for death.
“I will no longer ask for your understanding. That would merely be an insult to you.”
Blazing light shone forth at the saint’s bidding, spreading through the cathedral hall as orison after orison unfolded around us. I’d never seen a single one of these formulae outside of tomes in forbidden archives.
“Please despise me as much as you wish, for knowingly trampling your will...”
That is all that I can offer you, her eyes seemed to say.
“Dragonbane, Executioner’s Axe, Divine Lance, Arrow of Heaven...”
She was practically putting on an exhibition of the most advanced orisons ever developed. These were all on a level I’d yet to master, and any single one of these large-scale incantations would normally drain every last bit of nearby aether.
“Seems a bit extravagant for one solitary bride, don’t you think?” I asked slowly.
At this rate, she wasn’t just going to use up all the aether in the cathedral—she’d drain the entire Holy City.
“But even so, will it suffice to break your solitary spirit?” she replied. “Only the Gods can say.”
Well, isn’t that just ridiculously merciful and caring of you.
The saint smiled softly at me as she prepared her arsenal. I could only manage a single dry laugh in response.
From every direction at once, the light bared its fangs.
I immediately activated the orison I’d been preparing. I created layer upon layer of barriers, then reinforced them further with magic to hold back the armaments of the Gods.
The piercing screech of barriers tearing echoed out over and over, bursting my eardrums and resonating through my gut...
“Graaaaaaah—!”
The air shook with the impact of one divine weapon after another, and even just the shock waves tore at my skin.
Gods, if you’re out there, you could stand to treat people a little more fairly, couldn’t you? Actually, I’m your damn bride—how about some nepotism, huh?! Amid the world-shattering roar, I shouted out my grievances—but it seemed the Gods had abandoned me.
All around me, spears flew out faster than sound to punch through my layered defenses and stab into the floor. The next instant, the ground rose up beneath my feet...and everything fell apart. As the impact hit, my control over my mana slackened for a split second, and she seized the opening to destroy all of my barriers before I could even react.
The wrath of the Gods rained down upon me like the will of the world itself.
“There aren’t even...any Gods...dammit...”
As my vision whited out, I felt no fear.