“Come on. I don’t have to say it like that, do I?” quipped Egbert, although he honestly wondered if it was necessary. “You’re slowly becoming Qatora. You’re becoming more and more conscious of when you were Qatora...”
Lyse was drawn in by his gentle whispering voice, all while the bangle seemed to be cladding her body in a gentle lightness.
“You’re gradually becoming Qatora. You’re recalling time you spent with two blond boys in Summer Hall...”
Egbert’s words tickled a loose thread in the back of Lyse’s mind, grabbed hold of it, and unraveled her memories before her inner eyes.
It was springtime. Qatora had originally been posted in the capital, but she worked her way up into taking a position at the palace. One early afternoon about a week after her transfer, she was passing by Summer Hall. That was where she met young Egbert and Sidis.
“You’re a fresh face around here. New addition to the royal knights?” asked the emperor at the time—Egbert’s father. He was a large but mild-mannered gentleman who sported the same golden blond hair as his son. “You’ll be part of the force to whom I entrust my family. Do us all proud, okay?”
“I promise to do my utmost, Your Majesty,” Qatora responded and returned his smile.
Egbert, clinging to the emperor’s legs, imitated his father. “Do me proud!” he ordered—perhaps a little pompous but very much endearing.
“Of course, my liege,” she said, bringing a smile to Egbert’s face.
Meanwhile, Sidis stood timidly beside them and could only stare at Qatora. He was much more reserved back then, too shy to even greet her.
“Oh, Lord Egbert and Lord Sidis are absolutely adorable!” Lyse exclaimed, eliciting a chuckle from the room.
“That’s right. We had you play hide-and-seek with us that day, and I never did find Sidis...” said Egbert.
“Lord Sidis fell asleep crying under a bush in the garden, so I carried him back to his quarters.” Lyse could still remember how snugly the young Sidis had fit in Qatora’s arms, and she could even recall how the late emperor had thanked her for taking care of him.
“Do you remember the time you were struck by a ball of mud?” Sidis asked.
“Yes, Lord Egbert aimed right at me. Just prior to that incident, Her Majesty the Empress requested that I reprimanded him when it was called for too...” mumbled Lyse.
Qatora had been quite cross with the mischievous emperor-to-be. He’d managed to evade her, only to be caught by his father in the end. Sidis had bawled, begging for forgiveness for his role in the crime. Apparently Egbert had asked him to make the mud ball, so Qatora lectured the young prince for being an accomplice.
“Both boys were so fond of me, even when I got angry at them...”
There, Lyse heard the voice of someone else’s heart in her mind—“That’s because you were genuine with us.”
Was that...His Majesty? She wasn’t quite sure who the thought had originated from, as she was under the effects of both Sidis’s magic and Egbert’s suggestion.
“Hark back to the day the intruder stormed the villa. Qatora was posted at the door. Do you remember meeting me and Sidis as we entered?”
“Yes, I waved to the two of you.” Lyse transported herself back into Qatora’s consciousness again. “My fellow knights and I took turns guarding and patrolling the villa that day. I remember Lord Sidis waving to me in the hallway.”
“Sidis was always trying to catch your eye.”
“But then...I saw him taken...”
Lyse could recall all of Qatora’s vivid emotions as she’d tried to chase the intruder down.
“Halt!”
“Step away from him!”
“He’s just a boy!”
“You fiend!”
The pressure from the Light had been oppressively stifling, but Qatora had only grown angrier as her vision diminished.
“Why didn’t you stop when you were ordered to do so?” Sidis asked. Egbert and other members of the imperial family had tried to call Qatora back from the danger.
“Lord Sidis was snatched right before my very eyes. I couldn’t forgive myself,” she answered honestly. Every fiber of her being had implored her to do whatever it took to save the boy. The two young princes were like children to her—and she chose to sacrifice herself. “Lord Sidis and Lord Egbert were so dear to me. I had no regrets as I fell into the Light of Origin.”
“When Qatora reached her hand into the Light, what did you feel?”
“The Light...of Origin...” It had all happened in a split second. “It felt like a pool of warm water.”
“What did you see?”
“Light... Nothing but light.”
“What about the formulae?”
“The formulae...” Though Sidis had walked Lyse to this memory, the picture in her mind was still too unclear to envision the particulars. “They form...a circle...”
“Sidis, let His Majesty take over here,” prompted Alcede.
“You’re in the Light of Origin now. You’re beginning to see the spell circle. It’s becoming less and less blurry, and now it’s completely in focus...” Egbert said, guiding Lyse’s mind.
On the heels of this, Sidis asked, “What’s in the circle?”
Lyse suddenly felt her consciousness shift, sinking deeper into the memory. She could see herself within the Light. It washed over her and into her mind. In a snap, everything became clear.
“May the soil be abundant and fertile so that we may thrive... May it last for generations to come... May the light pierce the darkness of the land...”
The hopes of the Light’s creators fueled the magic.
“Mana strengthens all. If it reaches out to every corner of the world, then surely the earth will remain bountiful...”
The Light diffused mana into its surroundings, blessing both the land and the people near it. Though its mana also attracted monsters, that risk was offset by the capable warriors it produced. It was a symbiosis only possible because the Light dispersed and harvested mana ad infinitum in addition to its powers of light, earth, and water magic.
“It both sows and reaps mana, does it?” mused Egbert.
“That explains a few things,” said Alcede.
As the fuzziness subsided and Lyse’s consciousness returned to her, she began to see someone else’s memories.
Is this from the Light too...?
Rather, it was something Qatora had seen when she was swallowed into the Light. Her arm had been extended, reached out, as she’d disappeared into its depths.
Oh, this is how I died...
Following that came the pain and sadness.
“Don’t go!”
“You mustn’t, my lord!”
“Nooo! Come back! I promised I’d protect you when I’m strong enough... Please...!”
That voice, so desperate, wasn’t that of a young boy calling out for his parents... But the images in Lyse’s head faded as she awoke in a dim room. The air was crisp, like a smothering blanket had been torn from her in her sleep.
Oh, the magic wore off... She realized she was back to reality when she opened her eyes and saw her fiancé.
“Are you okay, Lyse?” he asked.
“Yes, thank you.” She nodded and smiled, much to his relief. “My memories are much clearer now, but were you able to learn anything about the Light?”
“Indeed. We should be able to fill in the blanks now. Boy, am I glad to have someone with memories of the past!” exclaimed Alcede with a big smile on his face.
Egbert, sitting by her bedside, smiled too, although he remained quiet.
Oh, he’s right there... That must be why I sensed his feelings too. Lyse wondered if she should feign ignorance as, after all, what she’d seen and heard was from over a hundred years ago. Surely neither she nor Egbert still felt the same way, not to mention that Lyse was a completely different person now. Thus she decided to spare Egbert the embarrassment.
“I’d like to discuss what just happened with Lyse privately. Excuse us for a moment, gentlemen,” Egbert announced as he escorted Lyse to the next room.
The room they’d used for the ritual was to be a guest room, and the smaller room beside it was intended for the servant of said guest. It wasn’t cramped by any means, however—especially without any furniture in it. Lyse couldn’t help thinking Egbert deserved a grander setting to discuss anything important. After all, he’d been born and raised to be the emperor. That was how she’d seen him all his life.
Egbert stepped into the room and let out a sigh. “There’s something calming about small, cozy rooms like these,” he said. “Do you remember how I used to always pester you to play hide-and-seek?”
“Yes, Your Majesty. You would always try to sneak up on me...”
It was less of hide-and-seek and more a game of cat and mouse to him. So Lyse thought, though she didn’t dare say so out loud. It wasn’t that she thought Egbert would take offense. Merely that she didn’t want to be disrespectful to the emperor.
He stared longingly out the window. “All through my childhood, everybody told me that my mana was even stronger than my father’s. I always felt that I had to prove my strength by besting the adults around me. How wrong I was...” That was something he’d come to realize over time.