“Kinn?” I called out. He was so quiet—I wanted to check he was still there.
“Hmm… What?” he replied, still with me. That was a relief.
“Nothing,” I said, continuing to wash up.
Five minutes later, a sense of unease crept up on me again.
“Hey, Kinn.”
“Yes? I’m still here.”
I smiled slightly at his reply and heard him make swatting sounds, probably trying to shoo the mosquitoes away. I was thankful he had patiently waited for me instead of doing something to provoke me like usual.
I was almost done cleaning myself when I realized I hadn’t heard a sound from Kinn in a while. I began to tremble, freaking out again.
“Kinn!” I called out. I waited for his reply, but none came.
“Hey, Kinn!” I shouted louder, unease twisting my stomach. My body grew tense with fear, and I hesitated to turn around…
“Kinn! This isn’t funny!”
I was so petrified that my legs shook. It was already difficult to see in the dark forest, but the creepy vibes and the cold water made it feel like ghosts could appear at any second.
Splash!
Suddenly, someone—or something—emerged from the water and wrapped their arms tightly around me from behind.
“Fuuuuck!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, terrified.
“Ha ha ha, you’re afraid of ghosts!” Kinn said, cackling. I shakily took a deep breath to calm myself before turning around to shove him with all my strength.
“Son of a bitch! You almost gave me a heart attack, you asshole!” I kept pushing him away, but his arms held firm around my waist. Finally, I gave him a hard shove that sent him tumbling backward into the water—and he pulled me down with him, the fucker.
I made a gurgling sound, swallowing water. Kinn tried to stand and pulled me up with him. Then his arm returned to wrap tightly around my torso.
“Let go of me!” I barked at him as soon as we regained our balance. Kinn ignored my words. His gaze was fixed on me, and I unconsciously stared back into those dark eyes. Our faces were so close that it made my heart race uncontrollably.
“Nope!” Kinn stubbornly replied. He leaned his face even closer to mine, forcing me to jerk my head back.
“Kinn, let go of me. Please. I don’t want to think of that night ever again!” I pleaded, trying to pry off his hands. I meant what I said—after spending the day with him, I’d almost forgotten about those painful memories. However, with his arms around me, images from that night threatened to come flooding back.
“Porsche, listen to me…” Kinn sighed, his tone serious. His arms stayed tightly wrapped around me, reminding me vividly of that fateful night. I felt the hurt and horror slowly creep back into me.
I remained silent, unable to tear my eyes away from him. I was captivated every time I looked at him, like some kind of wicked magic in his eyes compelled me. Everything went still save for my heart, which fluttered frantically in my chest.
“I didn’t mean it,” Kinn said with regret. “I didn’t know it would cause you so much pain.” His words were much softer than usual; he must have seen how shaken I was.
When I didn’t respond, Kinn continued: “I forgot to take your feelings into account… I know what I did was horrible, but I didn’t mean for it to turn out that way.”
His firm yet gentle words echoed in my ears. The sincerity I saw on his face in the darkness made me believe he genuinely regretted what he did to me.
“I know you might not have a shred of sympathy for me anymore, but I can’t change the past. I wish I could turn back time—I don’t want you to hate me. At least let me say one thing… Don’t leave me, please.”
I frowned. He didn’t want me to leave, but why?
“Please don’t quit being my bodyguard,” Kinn whispered.
I wanted to ask him why he was so fixated on me, on just one person. He did turn over every rock to find me and make me his bodyguard, so I guessed he didn’t want me to quit after all the effort he’d spent on me.
“Don’t go unless I tell you. Can you do that?” Kinn’s plea sounded vaguely like a command, but it hit me hard. I didn’t notice him leaning in closer until I felt his lips brush mine. Unsure of what to do, I stood motionless as a whirlwind of feelings tumbled through my head.
“I’m sorry,” Kinn said, evoking a warm sensation in my heart. He gently pressed his lips against mine once more, confusing me further. A part of me wanted to hate him and reject his apology, but another part told me to accept it.
I slowly closed my eyes, finally accepting his gentle kiss. Kinn nibbed lightly at my lower lip before delicately slipping his tongue inside, exploring my mouth and igniting a spark that spread through my entire body. This kiss was unlike any other we had shared before; there was no sense of force or coercion. It felt like a promise, an assurance that Kinn’s words were true. Without thinking, I let my emotions take control once again.
I remained still and let Kinn declare his feelings through his kiss. I didn’t reciprocate his actions, but I didn’t reject him, either. My heart went into overdrive, like it might burst out of my chest.
Kinn eventually pulled his lips away, but he stayed close, his forehead touching mine. “Are you cold?” he asked. At some point, he’d released me from his arms in order to gently hold my face between his palms, brushing away the hair that fell over my forehead with his thumb.
“Mm-hmm,” I hummed softly.
“Get to the riverbank and wait for me. I’ll wash up quickly,” Kinn instructed before moving away.
“Okay,” I replied, emerging from the stream. Confusion and disbelief swirled inside my mind—why had I let Kinn kiss me without protest? Why hadn’t I pushed him away? Why? Why? Why?! My thoughts infuriated me. Why was I so conflicted? What had happened to make me feel this way? Damn it, I should hate him! Fear him! Be disgusted by him! He did horrible things to you, Porsche!
“Turn around,” I told him. “I’m gonna get dressed.”
Kinn looked amused but did as he was told. I swiftly removed my wet boxers and pulled on my sweatpants and t-shirt.
“Why are you so quiet?” Kinn asked.
“How loud do you want me to be? We’re in a forest, not a Thonglor dance club,” I quipped, wringing the water out of my boxers.
“It still shouldn’t be this quiet,” he insisted. I didn’t understand Kinn’s logic. Did he think he was at The International Horticultural Exposition, where ambient music played everywhere you went?
“Why don’t you sing a song if you think it’s too quiet?” I remarked. Bantering with him like this made the atmosphere of the dark forest a bit less creepy.
“Are you sure you want me to sing?” Kinn joked.