I tried not to overthink it…but how could I not? The more time we spent together and the closer we became, the harder it was to control my feelings. And what about Kinn? The confusion, the vulnerability, the joy—did he feel the same way I did?
Did he feel anything for me at all?
The door behind me opened and Kinn emerged, coming to a stop in front of me. “You’re drunk already?”
“I’m not,” I lied, rubbing my tired eyes. I was starting to feel a bit dizzy. People had kept handing me glass after glass of alcohol from the moment I stepped foot in the bar. I’d had too many drinks to count.
“I kept seeing tables sending you drinks,” Kinn said, putting his hands in his pockets and sighing. “You’re quite popular.”
“…Not as popular as you,” I said, looking up at him. I’d noticed a lot of girls checking him out.
“Hey, I didn’t flirt back with anyone.” Kinn raised his eyebrows and glared at me. “You kept smiling at everybody.”
“Just my old regular customers… Hell, why would you want to flirt, anyway? You’ve already got March, your best lay,” I said, not knowing what compelled me to bring it up.
“Don’t talk nonsense.” Kinn reached over to stroke my hair, smiling. “My best lay…isn’t March at all.” I squinted at him and he gave me a salacious smile. “Don’t you want to know who it is?”
My heart thumped erratically in my chest. I secretly hoped for a certain answer. I remained still until Kinn leaned down to whisper in my ear.
“It’s you,” he murmured. I smiled, but quickly schooled my features back to normal. I put my hands on Kinn’s chest and pushed him away from me. Even though there was no one out here, I still didn’t know what to do.
“…Pervert,” I scolded him. Don’t you dare fall for his playboy bullshit, Porsche!
Kinn chuckled. “What about you? You lied quite a lot during that game,” he said as he pulled the pack of cigarettes from my hands and lit one for himself. Kinn smoked sometimes, but not often. Sometimes after we, uh… He’d go out for a smoke on the balcony.
“I didn’t even want to play,” I muttered. Why did seeing Kinn smoke turn me on?!
“Aren’t you afraid of being haunted…?” Kinn teased. Strangely enough, my heart swelled. The anger I felt before had all but disappeared, leaving only one feeling. Not to mention the fact that I was drunk—I wasn’t overthinking things like before.
“What do you mean, haunted?” I asked Kinn.
“Liars will be haunted by ghosts,” he said. I smiled at him.
Here goes nothing…
“If I sleep with you, what ghost would dare to haunt me?” I said, gently lowering my head to lean it against his shoulder. Kinn froze. My heart pounded wildly. The alcohol was giving me courage, and Madam Yok’s words came back to me:
“You have to learn to act spoiled… All of them will lose to someone who knows how to beg.”
“Why are you acting like this…? Do you want a house or a car?” Kinn took the cigarette out of his mouth and bent down to kiss the top of my head. I grabbed his waist in a loose hug and bit my lip as I figured out what I was going to say next.
“…I want you,” I whispered.
Kinn stiffened for a moment, and my head slid down from his shoulder to his chest. I heard Kinn’s heart beating wildly—just as frantically as mine—and I felt a little better. At least I was starting to get a handle on his feelings.
I looked up at Kinn through my eyelashes. “Kinn…let’s go home.”
He smiled, then stubbed out his cigarette and pulled away from my embrace.
“I’m not in the mood for partying anymore, either…but I am in the mood for something else.” Kinn bent down to give me a chaste kiss. I nodded, my face flushing with heat as I watched Kinn go back inside the bar.
I rubbed at my face, not wanting to believe what I’d just done. That was mortifying! Why the fuck did I do that?! Fucking hell, Madam Yok!
I followed Kinn inside and said goodbye to my friends, who were having a blast dancing to the music. Before we left, Kinn entreated Pete to look after Tankhun. No one dared to ask why we were excusing ourselves early.
It was good that Kinn had driven his own car here, so no one had to drive us back. Madam Yok’s words kept circling through my mind the entire way to the house. How shameless was I to have done something like that? Argh!
The closer we got to the house, the more anxious I became. Kinn made small talk, but I only had the presence of mind to answer part of the time. Thankfully, Kinn didn’t pry.
“You’re drunk, huh?” Kinn asked with a chuckle. When we got to his room, he went to pour me a glass of water. I stood there in the middle of the room for a while, my mind somewhat fuzzy. The next thing I knew, Kinn was holding up a glass in front of me.
“Mm-hmm… I’m dizzy,” I said, looking at the water. I deliberated, then steeled myself and walked right up to Kinn. I leaned my head against his chest.
“What’s up with you today?” Kinn asked, twisting around to put the water down on the table before encircling me in his arms.
“Why, don’t you like it?” I asked, my voice muffled against his chest.
“I like it,” Kinn rasped. “I like it so much my heart is racing.”
I pulled away to loop my arms around his neck.
“Hmm…if you keep this up, you won’t get to sleep tonight,” said Kinn, kissing my cheek.
I let him do as he pleased as I tried to get my shit together. Was I really doing this? I looked up at him through my lashes and asked for something that I knew would surprise even him…
“Sing me a song,” I said.
In truth, I wanted to buy some time to gather my courage. I’d heard Kinn’s off-key singing a couple of times before, and it would probably help calm me down.
“If the top has a wandering eye, you must have him wrapped around your little finger—he needs to know he can’t get what you have anywhere else.”
Madam Yok’s words kept coming back, echoing in my mind again and again. I’d already fallen for him—should I grow a pair and follow Madam Yok’s advice…? What the fuck should I do?!