I LIFTED MY FACE to look into Kinn’s eyes. He looked back, something wavering in his gaze before a warm hand came up to touch my face.
“I kept seeing images of you, images of what happened that day coming back,” I said, my voice shaking. “I tried to forget, tried with other women, but I couldn’t…” I stared ahead blankly, unfocused, my mind overwhelmed with emotion.
Kinn didn’t speak.
“It’s like…what happened that day stayed with me. It followed me everywhere, all the time,” I continued. “Fuck, Kinn! I knew I hated you, but I hated myself. I couldn’t accept myself… Why do I keep seeing you in here?!” I pointed at my head, my lips trembling. My words and my actions made it seem like I expected an answer from Kinn, but what kind of answer did I even want?
“…Porsche.” Kinn softly called my name.
“The more I saw you, the more those feelings kept coming back. I don’t understand—why did I let you hurt me? You’ve cursed me, insulted me, so why? Why do I feel like this?! How long will you keep hurting me… Is it not enough for you?” My voice hardened, not because I was still angry with him, but because I was so lost. How could one person be the cause of so much pain in my heart?
No matter how much I tried to tell myself that Kinn had done unforgivable things to me, I kept yearning for him, losing myself to his words. It scared me—I was afraid for my heart. I was terrified that I was in too deep, that from now on I would only desire his touch…
“Porsche… I understand that you must hate how you feel right now,” Kinn said. I allowed his warm hand to gently stroke my face.
“Why did I let it get to me?! I’ve never felt so pathetic in my life!” I burst out, feeling helpless. I was disgusted by myself, but if I kept resisting my attraction, I’d continue to be tormented. I couldn’t get rid of how I felt that day at all; instead, it intensified with every passing hour. Behind my self-hatred was a longing for Kinn that was stronger than ever…
Why am I like this?
“What happened that day… It was terrible, wasn’t it?” Kinn said, leaning in closer. His hand grasped the nape of my neck. Our foreheads were touching.
“It was terrible…but those feelings? They never left.” I avoided his gaze and looked down as the tip of his nose brushed against mine. I searched for the answers within myself.
Kinn’s warm breath ghosting over my skin made me waver. No matter how terrible that experience had been for me, I couldn’t forget it. It was hard to accept, but those feelings of warmth, excitement, and confusion refused to leave me.
“I’m the cause of all your distress,” Kinn said. “Can we start over? Could you give me the chance to fix those terrible feelings?”
“I already feel terrible.”
“It can’t be… The fact that you’re suffering because of those memories… I feel awful. Can I…?” Kinn paused for a moment. I didn’t say anything. “I… I’m asking to be the one to erase those terrible memories, Porsche. Please…let me?” he whispered softly, asking for permission.
I didn’t answer him verbally, but I closed my eyes and accepted the gentle press of his lips against my own. I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted to believe him—that he could erase all those awful images from my head.
Kinn kissed and sucked at my lips, nibbling until I felt an intoxicating rush of pleasure spread through my body. He positioned himself over me, holding me tightly as he settled himself above me. Our lips never parted. We kissed until I was gasping for breath. He took the opportunity to dip his hot tongue into my mouth. I let go of control, yielding to the feeling that Kinn told me he could erase.
It seemed Kinn was trying his hardest to create new memories for me, better ones than before. When his tongue flicked playfully inside my mouth, my heart began to beat erratically. He sucked and nudged at my tongue with his, making my entire body flush hot; he slid his tongue all throughout my mouth until I melted with desire.
Click! Kinn reached over to the air conditioning remote and turned off the AC, even though our lips were still pressed together. I furrowed my brow. Although I wanted to ask what he was doing, there was no opportunity to speak. Kinn was a good kisser, alternating between sucking and biting my lips and sucking at my tongue like a starving man. His demanding kisses made my stomach swoop.
“Mmm…” I moaned quietly.
Kinn smiled, satisfied, before moving his mouth down to my jaw and nipping at the skin there. After a while, he nuzzled his face into the slope of my neck and shoulder, his hot tongue licking all the way up to my ear. It felt practically ticklish. He began to gently bite my neck, wet and dizzying.
“Don’t… Don’t leave a mark…oh,” I gasped, turning my face away to give Kinn better access to my neck. I didn’t know if he heard me or not, but he kept going, his hand sliding under my shirt. I flinched when his fingers brushed against my nipple and gave it a firm pinch.
“Mmm…” I bit my lip to stop myself from making embarrassing noises. My hands wandered all over Kinn’s back, trying to find purchase.
Kinn’s hand pulled away from my chest and yanked my shirt up and off. I breathed in heavily, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes. He bent down to lick my nipple, sucking and biting it until I felt a tingling sensation spread through my entire body.
“Ah!” I tensed up when I felt the scrape of his teeth, but I didn’t want him to stop—I just let my feelings take control. Kinn’s hand groped and squeezed the other side of my chest, pausing to pinch my nipple until I squirmed. His tongue teased my nipple once more before he dragged his hot tongue down to my belly.
I clung onto his shoulders, harshly digging my nails into his back as he nipped and sucked hickeys into my skin wherever he went. My feelings were a tangled mess, but I had no thought of stopping; I only felt a thrilling rush in my body as my heart pounded in excitement.
“Ah… Mmm …Ah!”
Kinn’s other hand slipped inside my pants, stroking me to hardness through the fabric of my boxers and turning me on even more. I wanted Kinn to get his hand around my cock now, but he had other plans, lazily drawing circles over the fabric instead.
“K-Kinn…touch me!” I gasped out, looking at him with bleary eyes. His face was still flush with my abdomen as he licked it enthusiastically.
Kinn smiled before pulling my pants and underwear down to my knees. I threw my head back and moaned helplessly when he finally took my dick in a loose grip and slowly stroked up and down the shaft, his thumb lazily circling the leaking tip. My pulse raced as arousal simmered inside me.
“Ah… Hmm… Ah!”
Kinn leaned down to kiss me once more. I responded, kissing him back as his hand pumped faster. My body twisted and curled with need.
“Do you know how fucking sexy you are…?” Kinn whispered against my lips. I felt like I was floating, warmth spreading in my chest. Kinn’s hand sped up until I couldn’t take it any longer.
Kinn pulled away to lie down on his side next to me, his eyes fixed on my cock in his fist. I glanced up at his face and his clouded eyes, thinking how sexy he looked. He bit his lip, hand still deftly pumping my dick. He licked his lips before locking eyes with me, my face twisting in pleasure.
“Are you close?” Kinn asked, leaning in to inhale deeply at my cheek and my neck, his sweet voice making my heart stutter.
I nodded. “M’close… Mmm… A bit more… Ah!” I moaned with abandon.
I had to admit he was good at this—thumbing hard at the head of my cock again and again, alternating with frantic strokes. My whole body tensed up as I came, white fluid shooting out of my dick. My vision blanked out for a moment, the tension I’d been bottling up for so long finally finding its release.
“My turn…” Kinn whispered in my ear. I lay there panting as he took hold of my body and flipped me over. I heard him swiftly remove his shirt and trousers. I turned my face to look at Kinn. His cock was rock hard and standing tall. He gave it a few unhurried strokes before sliding over to the bedside table to bring out a box of condoms and some lube.
I swallowed thickly, watching as Kinn stood there stroking his cock. My face flushed with heat and my heart pounded against my ribcage as Kinn leaned down to press tender kisses to my back. He settled his weight on top of me again, nuzzling the crook of my neck, then licking and nipping his way to my lips.
“Mhmm…”
Kinn’s body glistened with sweat, his musky scent growing stronger. The more I inhaled it, the hotter I felt, my burning desire almost reducing me to ashes. Kinn licked a hot stripe all the way down my back to my asscheek, one hand kneading at it incessantly. I felt a dull ache around my tailbone where I’d fallen, but Kinn’s ministrations only aroused me more. His teeth scraped against my ass before he bit down harshly.
“Ah… Ahh, that hurts!” I yelled at him, but it felt so different from that first time. It had been so careless then; now, he was trying to make our time together memorable. It was exhilarating, yet laced with a hidden fierceness and tenacity.
“Ah… I can’t hold back any longer,” Kinn rasped as he dragged my hips up in the air, my torso still pressed against the bed. He then spanked me with a hard slap.
“Ah!” I yelped, twitching. Kinn laughed before mouthing at the swell of my ass, his hand dragging down the cleft. My entire body shivered.
“I won’t hurt you too much,” he said. “I promise.”