For a brief moment, Yuri was taken aback. At least it looked that way to Brigitte.
“Let’s go, Brigitte,” Joseph said.
“Oh, um…”
As she hesitated, Joseph pushed her back and started walking. She wanted to stay, but Yuri was staring at the ground. It felt like a rejection.
She glanced back several times, but he remained rooted in place at the carriage stop.
When Brigitte was young, everything frightened her. Her parents. Fire. The hearth. The mocking laughter. Crowds of people. The world was so frightening that she despaired.
In that difficult time, the only person who smiled and reached out a hand was Joseph—just like Prince Charming on a white horse in a fairy tale.
“Brigitte, did someone call you names again?”
She hurried to wipe the tears from her cheeks when she heard his voice behind her.
It was six years ago, at a tea party hosted by another earl’s family. Brigitte had been invited because she was Joseph’s fiancée, and at first, she had managed to smile, albeit awkwardly, as she sat with the earl, his wife, and his daughter. But gradually, they began talking about changelings…and someone mentioned that in this kingdom, too, a couple claimed that their baby had been stolen by spirits.
“How frightening! Imagine having your very own baby exchanged for a spirit!”
“If I were its mother, I would never forgive it. I’d be tempted to pop that little pretender in a cooking pot and roast it alive.”
“Don’t you think it would be better to throw it straight into the hearth fire?”
“But I’ve heard that sometimes you can’t tell it’s a changeling even if you stick its hand in the hearth! …Isn’t that so, Miss Brigitte?”
Everyone tittered cruelly and stared at her. They seemed to be looking straight at her gloved hand.
The hand her father had burned.
The hand with the hideous scars.
Unable to stand it any longer, Brigitte fled from the table, found a place to hide, and cried.
But Joseph ran after her and found her.
“…I’m sorry, Sir Joseph,” she said, sniffling.
She knew her behavior was not appropriate for the prince’s fiancée, a future princess. No matter what anyone said, she ought to maintain a noble and dignified appearance. Otherwise, she could not stand by Joseph’s side. She knew that, but whenever they went out in public, she would shake uncontrollably.
After a pained glance at her puffy red eyes, Joseph smiled.
“It’s fine, Brigitte. In the future, you don’t have to force yourself to come to things like this.”
“But Sir Joseph…”
“Don’t worry. I’ll manage on my own.”
She didn’t know what to say. The truth was, she wanted to overcome her situation. She wanted to be someone people didn’t laugh at anymore. If Joseph was by her side—she thought that one day she could do it. But he was saying she didn’t need to push herself.
It wouldn’t be right to trouble him by insisting…
“All right,” she answered reluctantly. He smiled with satisfaction.
Of course. He was always kind to her, his eyes were always gentle, and he was her shield from the world. But little by little, he was changing.
“The dumber a girl is, the more I like her.”
That was the start of it. He told her to wear pink dresses, talk more loudly, put on heavy makeup, get bad scores on tests…and every time he asked, she did her best to obey.
“Stupid Brigitte Meidell.”
“Miserable Red Fairy, abandoned by her father.”
Every time she heard people say these things, something deep in her heart cried out. But she was desperate to make herself into what Joseph wanted. For some reason, though, each time she forced herself to go against her own timid nature, she grew more estranged from him.
After they started at the academy of magic, their relationship worsened.
“Sir Joseph, shall we ride home together?”
“Sorry, I’ve things to do today.”
Joseph was in the class next to hers, Class 1, so they didn’t have much chance to interact at school. She summoned her courage to visit his class a few times, but he was always cold and aloof. She pretended not to care, telling him they could try again next time…but the truth was, she had noticed the change in him a long time ago.
He had grown close to a girl in his class. He would take her to empty classrooms and not come out for hours. He would bring her to parties and dance with her. Brigitte constantly heard the nasty rumors about their relationship, even when she wasn’t listening for them.
She had never directly spoken to this girl, a baron’s daughter called Lisa Selmin. She’d seen her a few times, though. She was lovely…and unlike Brigitte, she had a strikingly natural smile. So that’s the sort of girl he likes, Brigitte thought, but she didn’t say anything to him.
Regardless of the details, she’d been his fiancée since they were five. Maybe it would have been all right for her to mention his unfaithfulness once or twice—but she didn’t, because she wasn’t good enough for kind Joseph.
It’s my fault. He didn’t do anything wrong. He only tired of me because I’m a bad person…
She went home every day and wept. Her inability to change was humiliating. She hated that Joseph didn’t love her, but worst of all was that she couldn’t do anything about it.
Then one day, he ended everything.
“Brigitte Meidell, I declare my engagement to you officially over!”
In that moment, it hit her. She was so sad, she wanted to laugh.
Aaah…I’ve been abandoned again.
Why are these the memories that always come back to me?