The bazaar had been a disappointment; there was no getting away from that. But there was something else on Chika’s mind now.
The way I felt when I was in that gap… Was I about to remember some other time when I was in a tight space like that?
She thought that was probably it. But she couldn’t clearly remember what kind of place it had been, or where it was, or why she’d been there.
Oh, but…I’m pretty sure it was somewhere in this school.
Yes, it hadn’t been at home or out around town, she was confident of that much. Somewhere on this campus, there was a narrow gap that she’d squeezed into once, years ago. And… And then…
And then what…? I feel like something really important happened, but…
If it was that important, why had she forgotten about it? She didn’t know what all this meant, but she didn’t like it.
Maybe I just have to find that place again… If I see it in person, it’ll probably jog my memory, and I’ll remember the whole thing.
✦ ✦ ✦
And so, over the next few days, Chika searched high and low for the narrow gap from her past. There were gaps everywhere, of course, but it was surprisingly hard to find one big enough for a person to squeeze into.
The gaps between books on the shelves in the library… The gap between the raised storehouses and the ground… They were all too small. And she somehow knew it wasn’t something as simple as a door or window that had been left slightly ajar, either.
Every time Chika found a new gap, she’d peer into it, and she’d feel that old memory stirring. But it never quite came back to her. She extended her search beyond the inside of the school and began looking outside, even wandering around the little mountainous area on the edge of the campus.
It was while she was in that area that a curious incident occurred. She’d reached a place where the ground began to slope upward and was just taking a step forward. The moment before she put her foot down, a butterfly flew in front of her, so close it looked like it was going to collide with her face.
Chika stumbled backward. She’d never seen a butterfly like that before—its wings were a bright shade of pink. The same pink as the hoodie the girl who’d given her the Gap Entry Ticket had been wearing.
Now that I think about it, who was that girl, really…?
Then her gaze wandered down to her feet. Almost completely hidden from view by fallen leaves was a set of old, rusted metal bars.
Chika peered closer—on the other side of the bars was nothing but a deep, dark hole, leading underground.
“What is this…? A dried-up well, maybe?”
She’d never heard anything about a well out here. It must have been really old. The landscape around it had changed so much that the top of it was now at ground level, after all. The metal bars must have been put there at some point to keep people from falling in.
Chika glanced at the darkness on the other side of the bars again and felt a shiver run down her spine. If that butterfly hadn’t flown in front of her… If she’d put her foot down and stepped on this…
“That was a close one…”
She was walking around with the ticket in her hand. If she’d stepped on those metal bars, which were basically just one big series of gaps, she’d have slipped through them and ended up trapped on the other side. She’d have fallen right down to the bottom—however far down that was—with no way to climb back up again.
✦ ✦ ✦
The days continued to roll by, with Chika checking out every narrow gap she could find. And then, finally, she found the one she’d been looking for.
It was behind the elementary school. Next to the main school building was another one that had been added in more recent years. Between those two buildings was a small gap about the width of a child’s head.
But how strange. It shouldn’t have been this hard to find this place. Why had this taken her so long?
Perhaps she’d been subconsciously avoiding it.
Oh… I think I’m starting to remember… On the other side of this gap is…
As Chika stood there, memories of the last time she’d peeked into that gap came flooding back. It must have been… That’s right, five years ago. She’d been in her second year of elementary school…
✦ ✦ ✦
Back then, Chika hadn’t gotten used to the school rules yet. Things hadn’t been going well for her. Due to her lackluster grades and lack of achievements in her first year of elementary, she’d been placed in the Minus classes for her second year. She couldn’t raise her test scores, and she wouldn’t follow the rules. Unlike now, she used to get angry a lot.
The harsh, constantly changing rules, the mean-spirited punishments, the attitudes of the Plus students—all of it got on her nerves. “It’s not fair!” she’d say, and “Why should I have to do this?!” and “This is just mean!”
And of course, every time she acted out, she’d get scolded even more harshly. Not only by her teachers, but by her parents, too. Chika was unable to discard the ugly, impure emotion of anger. She was useless. A bad girl. She heard that so often that she’d started to believe it herself.
I can’t go on like this, she’d thought. I don’t get good grades, and if I keep being a bad girl, I’ll grow up to be completely useless. If I can at least cultivate a beautiful heart, I’ll have some value in this world…
That was the attitude that had been driven into her.
Despite her efforts, Chika seemed to find something new to get angry about every single day. Even if she didn’t want to, she couldn’t help it.
And then one day, something had called to her from this gap behind the school. Somewhere on the other side, someone with a faint, echoey voice had called out to her:
“COME HERE… COME TO ME…”
The voice had sounded so…nice. So kind. Chika felt that if she followed it, she’d find someone who would help her.
And so, she’d gently squeezed herself into the gap. It was so narrow she barely fit inside and had to shuffle along sideways to make her way forward.
Step by step, she inched along toward where the voice was coming from. Finally, she reached a dead end, blocked off by an old wooden fence that marked where the school grounds stopped. One of the fence boards was slightly askew, leaving a tiny space between it and the next board. Chika caught a momentary glimpse of somebody looking through from the other side. Then there was that voice again.
“GIVE IT… GIVE IT TO ME…”
It had such a strange, drawn-out inflection… Chika asked the voice what it wanted her to give it.
“GIVE ME…THE EMOTION…THAT DWELLS IN YOUR HEART…”
Emotion? Her heart…?
Before she could respond, the voice said more:
“JUST A TINY PIECE OF YOUR HEART… YOUR ANGER… YOU DON’T WANT IT, DO YOU? YOU WANT TO DISCARD IT, YES? SO LET ME TAKE IT FROM YOU…”
When she heard that, Chika’s heart almost skipped a beat.
Whoever this person on the other side of the wall was, they were right. She didn’t want her anger. She did want to get rid of it. If she didn’t have her anger holding her back, she could become a good girl who followed the rules…
Chika didn’t even have to stop and think about it.
“All right. I’ll give it to you.”
The moment she spoke, a strange red ball floated up out of her chest and was sucked into the gap between the fence boards, leaving a glowing trail in its wake.