“What’s wrong?” Hazuki, who was sitting next to her, asked.
As expected of her other half, Hazuki had noticed before anyone else…No, she was the only one who had noticed Hana’s turmoil.
“I-it’s nothing…,” Hana lied.
“You look pale.”
“Really?”
Hana did her best to appear calm, but on the inside, she was rattled. The small part of her that maintained composure warned her to leave the party.
Hana carefully stood to avoid drawing the attention of others.
“Hana?” Hazuki was looking over at her with concern.
Hana experienced a strange, indescribable feeling hearing that her sister was still capable of concern for her, but it was fleeting. She was preoccupied with her own problems. She had no time to pay attention to Hazuki.
“I don’t feel well, so I’m going to retire to my room,” Hana told her sister.
“Are you all right?”
“I’ll be fine after I get some rest,” she said and left the room.
The guests would be satisfied as long as Hazuki was there. No one would care if Hana disappeared.
Away from the public eye, Hana rushed to her bedroom, which had been relocated outside the main building of the family estate at some point over the years. The detached house she’d been given was more than spacious enough for one person.
Sae and the others dropped by frequently. Azuha had been by her side ever since she was ten. Rather than feeling lonely due to separation from her family, she welcomed the distance. Thanks to the move, she was subjected to her parents’ censure less often.
Hana had requested the move herself. Thankfully, since the room hadn’t been in use, she had quickly gotten approval.
Perhaps her parents had agreed so easily because they saw her as an eyesore, but whatever the reason, Hana was happy to have secured a private sanctuary away from any nuisances.
Her room was a safe haven, and so she ensconced herself there. She made a beeline for the bed and collapsed immediately.
Azuha danced around her, worried, but since the shikigami was only a butterfly, there was nothing it could do to help.
Hana curled up, hugging her knees to her chest.
“Ugh…,” she groaned.
She was hot. Deep in her chest, a fire burned. The heat assailed her body, bashing away at her like it was looking for a way out.
The fever tortured her the entire night, but when dawn broke the next morning…
Her fever had disappeared as if it had all been a dream. As a matter of fact, her body felt lighter than it had ever felt before.
She noticed one other thing.
Residing within her was a deep, vast, and rich well of power. She didn’t need anyone to tell her what this power was. She understood it very well. It was as if the power itself taught her everything she needed to know.
“Azuha, come here,” Hana called to her one and only shikigami.
Azuha flew to her and landed on her outstretched finger.
Hana fed Azuha a trickle of the power surging within her. She kept a tight rein over the flow, pouring it slowly into Azuha so as not to overwhelm the shikigami. The colors of Azuha’s wings grew more vibrant.
When Azuha reached its limit, it flew off Hana’s finger.
Hana cut off the current of power and looked at her shikigami. “Are you okay, Azuha?”
Speech should’ve been beyond Azuha, but Hana heard a voice, one that could only have belonged to the butterfly, say, “Yes, Master.” The voice sounded like a child, high and gender-neutral, and with a bit of a lisp.
Hana had attained what she had long given up on.
Inside her lay the bountiful strength of a true practitioner. More than that, she sensed that her power surpassed Hazuki’s.
Hana put her face in her hands, riding the waves of power, which were cresting within her endlessly.
What did one call the emotion washing over her? Hana didn’t have a word for it.
“Are you crying, Master?” Azuha asked.
“…No. I’m not.”
“Are you sad?”
“Sad…hmm? I’m happy, I think… No, maybe it is sadness. I don’t know what to call it.”
She had thought it was a lost cause, that her lack of ability as a practitioner was something she would never be able to change.
Being compared to Hazuki had made her sad. She had suffered, and at some point, without realizing it, she had given up on her own potential.
Who could have predicted that her latent power would awaken at a time like this? Hana herself still found it hard to believe.
But the flood surged on ceaselessly inside her, indifferent to her acceptance or denial.
The power she’d given up on was real, and it sat comfortably in her body as if it had been there all along.
She was overjoyed, but she couldn’t help thinking, Why now?
If it had only awoken earlier, she needn’t have felt such pain. Or envy. She wouldn’t have been tortured by her inferiority complex.
“Of all times, why now?” she murmured.
But the question was too little too late. Who could she take her complaints to now? She didn’t know.
“Master?” Azuha asked.
When Hana noticed how anxiously Azuha was watching her, she finally cracked a smile. “I’m all right, Azuha. More importantly, we can finally talk to each other!”
“Yes. I am happy.”
“I am, too.”
Butterflies were assumed to be inferior shikigami, but Azuha was now host to a strong power. Doubtless, the people around Hana would notice the change, unless she did something about it.
“Azuha, can you suppress your power?” she asked.
“I will try.”
Hana watched Azuha. After a few moments, the brilliant luster of the shikigami wings dimmed until she looked the same as she usually did. The power pouring from her had also ebbed.
“How is this, Master?”
“You did great. From now on, hide your power unless it’s absolutely necessary to use it,” Hana instructed.
“Won’t you tell anyone? You’ve finally unlocked all of this power.”
“I won’t. This is our little secret, Azuha.”
Azuha seemed to find it strange that Hana would try to hide her own strength, but the shikigami didn’t give the matter any more thought. If that was what her master wanted, that was what she would do. “All right,” Azuha agreed.
Hana hadn’t made the decision lightly.
Her parents would no doubt be ecstatic to learn she had obtained a power greater than even Hazuki’s and would finally praise her. All the people who had denigrated her as Hazuki’s scraps would look at her with new eyes.
But what was the point?
Their newfound interest in Hana would do nothing to undo their actions toward her up until now. She would never forget their contempt, disappointment, and jeering, nor would she forget that she had been abandoned. She had no desire to see their attitudes do a one-eighty simply because she had attained power.
Besides…Hana thought about what Hazuki went through.
Hazuki, who bore the weight of everyone’s expectations on her shoulders.
Whose schedule left her no time to breathe.
Who was under such immense pressure.
Who constantly wore the mask of an honor student and went along with what others wanted for her.
Hana, on the other hand, held a deep mistrust of their parents and relatives and refused to play their game. The days when she had yearned to be accepted had long since passed.
That was why she would remain as she was.
She would live as if she were no better than Hazuki’s scraps.
As if I’d follow the path my parents would want me to! she rebelled internally.
Her upbringing had warped her personality a bit. She swore that she would conceal her powers.
“Their meaningless expectations belong in the trash. I don’t need them,” Hana said out loud. “My goal isn’t to be a top student like Hazuki. I want to live freely, without being jerked around by anyone else’s opinions. I’ll protect my right to be myself and live the way I want to, no matter what!”
To that end, it was definitely better to keep her powers a secret.
The last thing she wanted was for those around her to change their attitudes and cling to her instead. She had less than an ounce, no, less than a fingertip’s worth of trust for her parents and family. Keeping quiet was no doubt her best option.
“Until the day I finally leave this house, I’ll behave as I always have,” Hana resolved.
She felt guilty hiding her secret from Sae and the others who had always looked after her, but she knew she had to if she wanted to continue her quiet life.
Until the day she was freed from this household.
Someday.