Even saying it aloud hurt. She knew it was true.
What could Hana do to make her mother and father take notice of her?
She had thought and thought, but she had never found the answer. One’s skills as a practitioner were innate. They couldn’t be improved through mindless effort.
Seeing Hana so miserable, Sae tried to cheer her up.
“The useless ones are your parents, who fail to see their child’s efforts. Wash your hands clean of them,” Sae advised.
Sae’s judgment was incisive. They weren’t words a servant should use to talk about her employers.
Hana was shocked.
“There’s no need for you to cater to your parents, Miss Hana.” Sae reached out and took Hana’s hand. Her hand was warm, and the smile she directed at Hana was filled with familial affection.
Hana was shaken by the kindness of that smile, an expression she had never seen on her own mother.
“There are people who are watching you, who see what you do. That includes me, of course,” Sae said. “Be true to yourself, Miss Hana, and live the way you want to.”
With that parting message, Sae exited the room, leaving the cake on the table.
Sae’s words struck a chord in Hana’s heart. Alone in her room, she felt the power of those words resonating within her.
Hana wanted her family to see her for who she was, and she had worked tirelessly to achieve that.
She wanted nothing more than for them to recognize her existence.
But in the end, everything she did amounted to kissing up to her parents to curry their favor.
“Ha. Hee-hee-hee.” Inexplicably, she burst into laughter. If there had been anyone watching her, they would’ve thought she’d gone mad. But she couldn’t stop. “Ah-ha-ha-ha… Haah…”
Once she had laughed herself to exhaustion, she flopped down onto the tatami-mat floor with a deep sigh and spread her limbs wide.
“No need to cater to them, huh…?” she muttered.
There was wisdom in those words.
No matter what she did, her parents always ended up comparing her to Hazuki. They had never once praised her accomplishments.
Besides, ever since they had stopped eating together as a family, Hana almost never saw her parents anymore. They were well on their way to becoming strangers who happened to share blood.
How long was she going to have to tiptoe around her parents?
Forever?
Her mind protested the thought. She didn’t want that.
It was pitiful, wasn’t it?
Knowing that her parents didn’t care about her and would never care about her, yet continuing to chase after them in the hopes that one day they would.
Knowing in the back of her mind that they’d never turn to look her way…
How pathetic.
She hated that part of herself. She wanted to be free. She wanted to live the way she wanted without a second thought about anyone else’s opinions.
It was foolish to allow other people’s words and actions to dictate her happiness or despair.
She wanted to be able to be sincerely proud of herself. She had come so far.
Even if no one else recognized her efforts, she should at least be able to…
Hana’s heart was suddenly as light as a feather.
She felt as if all the pain and sadness wracking her had been absorbed by something indescribable and condensed down into a hard lump.
All that was left was resignation and forgiveness.
From that point forward, Hana stopped caring about what her parents said to her and about other people’s evaluations of her. She stopped trying to gain their approval.
Hana realized that she was plenty happy.
She had Azuha, didn’t she? A partner that would stand by her no matter what.
She had attained so much. What was there for her to lament?
Freed from her shackles, Hana found it easier to breathe. She felt refreshed, like she had been reborn.
And she was able to turn an objective eye toward her own family.
Her thoughts turned to her other half, who had been with her since they were born.
Hazuki was her older twin sister, so they should have been similar, and yet they were not.
Hazuki was a practitioner immeasurably more powerful than Hana.
To Hana, who had always been told she was good for nothing, Hazuki was her pride and joy.
But when Hana stopped to reflect, she wondered if that was wise.
From Hana’s perspective, Hazuki looked like she had been bound from head to foot by their parents’ expectations. Her schedule was utterly uncompromising. Every day, she woke up and went to school. Once she came home, her schedule was jam-packed, and she didn’t have a moment’s rest.
Their parents were entrusting the fate of the family to Hazuki. From where Hana was standing, it looked like an oppressive existence.
Was Hazuki content?
Hana worried over these thoughts. Then, for the first time in a long time, she got the chance to speak with Hazuki.
“You don’t have any extracurriculars today, Hazuki?” she asked her sister.
“The teacher is ill,” Hazuki answered.
Hana felt a tinge of nostalgia. It had been ages since the last time they’d exchanged words, trivial as they were, with each other. She was genuinely happy to be able to speak with Hazuki, but Hazuki’s attitude toward her felt cold and distant.
On top of that, Hazuki looked tired.
The question was out of Hana’s mouth before she realized it. “Isn’t it hard on you, Hazuki?”
“What are you saying all of a sudden?” Hazuki demanded.
“Your schedule is packed with back-to-back lessons and activities every single day. Aren’t you tired? You have no time to relax at all,” Hana said. “What if you asked Mother and Father for a bit of time for yourself? If it’s difficult for you to ask, I can…”
“Don’t interfere with my life!” Hazuki shouted in fury.
Hana was shocked, and she froze with her mouth half-open.
“My studies and extracurriculars are all indispensable. Everyone’s expecting great things from me,” Hazuki said. “I wouldn’t expect someone worthless like you to understand, Hana, but someday, I’m going to have an important position in the clan. I’m different from a washout like you!”
“Hazuki…”
“Don’t you dare say anything about my life from now on! You don’t understand anything about being a practitioner!” she yelled before turning on her heel and walking away.
Hana couldn’t say anything back. She was rooted to the spot, dazed.
She was astonished to find that Hazuki thought so little of her.
Well, considering the way they’d been compared all their lives and how much Hazuki had been pampered, it might have only been natural that she thought of herself as superior whether she realized it or not.
Hana was finally able to analyze their interactions calmly.
Thanks to Sae, Hana had finally freed herself from the fetters of their parents’ expectations, but Hazuki was still shackled tight. Hana knew now that Hazuki wouldn’t be able to escape so easily.
It was as if Hazuki had been brainwashed. Their expectations had a firm hold on her. She could not get free.
What a miserable situation she was in.
And yet, even if Hana were to say something, Hazuki would never listen to the words of someone she thought of as inferior, which was clear from their conversation just now.
Hana sighed and shook her head despairingly. “Nothing will change unless Hazuki realizes the predicament she’s in herself.”
She knew Hazuki couldn’t help herself, but at the same time, she burned with anger at the way Hazuki had spoken to her.
Hana chose to just watch and wait.
Over the years, she let go of the things that didn’t serve her and made room for good to enter her life. At some point, she had started to think of her family as complete strangers.
Furthermore, the status quo in her family was unlikely to shift in the future. Her family would continue to ignore her—and she’d ignore them—until she became an adult.
Time passed, and unbeknownst to everyone else, the apathetic home environment gradually warped Hana’s personality.
But Hana had a cute ally by her side. She had Azuha, and as long as she did, she would be fine.
That was until her fifteenth birthday—the day of the incident.
While Hana was in the middle of eating her cake, a wave of discomfort flooded her body. It was so intense that she couldn’t stifle her reaction to it.
The sensation that assaulted her felt like the shedding of an old skin to reveal something new…
Or like something hidden inside her all this time had finally burst out through its shell.
Immediately after, power the likes of which Hana had never felt before welled up inside her.
“…Agh.” She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to soothe the discomfort and suppress the feeling.