Chapter 152

Chapter 16 September III 1 Wednesday, September 12. Third period, math class. Rrm, rrrrm… I heard the faint rumbling of the earth right before it happened. I didn’t even have time to wonder what it was. Crack! The sound and the tremor came at the same time. The shock, which seemed to be forced up from directly below, lasted just a moment. Then the ground under our feet began to shake, the desks and chairs clattered together, and the chalk fell from the chalkboard tray… An earthquake? Even though I realized that’s what it was, my body froze in place, and I couldn’t react. The reactions from my classmates varied. There were quiet and loud screams. Some people leaped out of their seats, while others clung to their desks. Some even tried to crawl underneath them. There were a lot of students who were completely frozen, like me. Even though our responses were different, we all shared surprise and fear. “Everyone, calm down!” Our math teacher, Ms. Inagaki, was writing on the blackboard just as it happened, and she turned around, still gripping the chalk. “It doesn’t seem to be a very large quake. Everything’s fine. It will settle down soon.” Just as she’d said, the shaking was already starting to diminish, but still… One of the pencils I had out on my desk fell to the floor. I looked up and saw that the light fixtures hanging from the ceiling were swaying, but not that dramatically. It certainly seemed like it hadn’t been a major tremor, so I began to relax. However, just then— Crash! There suddenly came the loud noise of something shattering. Since I’d already let my guard down, it was terribly disarming. Several screams shook the air of the classroom again. The flower vases that had been placed on Shimamura’s and Kuroi’s desks on Monday had fallen. Both of them, together with the white chrysanthemums that had filled them, lay shattered on the floor. The flower-filled vases hadn’t been particularly secure, positioned close to the edges of the desks, and they’d plummeted during the earthquake. It seemed like a bad omen. I had a sinking feeling. The destruction of the vases may very well have been one of the triggers for the strange situation that occurred in the Grade 3 Class 3 classroom that day. 2 Even fewer students in Grade 3 Class 3 had shown up at school that morning than the day before, down to about half our original number. I’d been among those who had arrived at school on time for morning homeroom. However— I had chosen to go to school that day. Auntie Sayuri had told me that I could stay home if I wanted. But even if I had skipped school and stayed home, I would probably have just shut myself in my room and spent the day depressed. And if I did that, it would cause unnecessary worry for my aunt and uncle…that’s what I’d told myself. I’d been certain that the television in the living room had been on all night. From the time I’d gotten up until I’d left the house, it had been reporting endlessly on the horrible tragedy in America. According to Auntie Sayuri, she had finally been able to get in touch with Hikari, her oldest daughter who was living in Queens, that morning. Both she and my uncle had seemed very relieved by that, but it had sounded like the chaos at the site of the attack was going to go on for quite a while, so it was easy to tell that they were still very anxious. The information we’d been getting from the TV news alone had been more than enough to convey the gravity of this incident, which would later be called the “9/11 attacks.” It was obvious that America, and the rest of the world, had uncertainty in store. However— Even after I’d fully awakened, the assault still felt somehow unreal to me. It was incredibly shocking, but it still hadn’t registered as something happening in this reality… I’d been more concerned about Yagisawa’s condition and the pressing issue of the “calamity” weighing on my mind. Though no matter how much I worried about either, there was nothing I could do. Everyone else at school that day must have felt the same way, more or less. “Did you see the news last night?” “I did. I just happened to turn on the TV, and it suddenly showed those images.” “At first I had no idea what was going on.” “It looked like a scene in a movie.” “My dad was watching with me, and he kept repeating, ‘This is really serious!’” “They’ve been running special reports all night. I wonder what’s gonna happen?” “It looks like lots of people died.” “They did, tons of them.” “What will become of all of it?” “It’s terrorism, right?” “That’s what they’re saying.” “Will there be a war?” “Maybe…” Those sorts of conversations had filled the classroom all morning, but on the other hand— “I heard that Yagisawa has been unconscious this whole time.” “I wonder if he’s gonna make it?” “I wonder.” “If this was also the ‘calamity,’ it might be difficult.” “But it was suicide, wasn’t it? Why would he try to kill himself?” “The ‘accidents’ have gotten scarier.” “Suicide is a scary thing. I could never do it.” “You say that, but it was Yagisawa of all people who went through with it.” “I wonder if he left a note or anything?” “Maybe…” On the other hand, many students had still been discussing other affairs. I hadn’t felt up to talking about anything with anyone. Instead, I stood alone by the window, staring outside. Rain had been falling off and on the previous night, but the weather had improved. However, that didn’t mean a clear blue autumn sky was stretching out above me. I’d caught sight of a big swelling of cumulonimbus clouds near the mountains, and though it had looked like ordinary summer weather to me, the breeze had seemed to carry an unseasonable chill… Or maybe that was my imagination. “…I can’t.” My ears had picked up on another conversation in the classroom. “I just can’t do it anymore.” “Me either, not anymore…” “I don’t want to come to school anymore, either. I don’t want to come, but even when I’m at home, I’m thinking this or that on my own… I feel like I’m going crazy.” “I know what you mean. Why is it like this…?” “Ah geez, I really can’t stand it. I’m terrified!” “Maybe it’s better than the terrorism in New York…but it doesn’t feel that way.” “How could it?” “I don’t want to die!” “I hate this. I’m scared. I don’t want to die.” “None of us does.” Me neither. I don’t want to lose my life, either, I’d thought. But as long as the “calamity” continues and there’s a possibility of becoming one of its victims, that risk hasn’t gone away. All we can do now is pray for our own safety every day, I suppose. Mr. Chibiki looked downright pitiful during homeroom. Obviously he was trying his best to act like a responsible teacher. But he hadn’t been able to hide the exhaustion on his face or in his voice. His voice was incredibly pained as he updated us on Yagisawa’s condition, and it had lacked any conviction when he’d told us students not to be pessimistic and to take “appropriate precautions against accidents and illness.” It was obvious he felt helpless. “In this situation, everybody is frightened and anxious. If you think it’s necessary, I want you to come talk to me without hesitation, no matter how minor the issue seems. Even if it’s impossible to resolve the situation, I may be able to offer you some sort of advice, based on my own experience. “Police will be coming to investigate yesterday’s incident, but you don’t need to worry about them. It will all settle down soon. Also…” Then Mr. Chibiki’s voice had grown somewhat more intense. “…Starting yesterday, members of the press have been spotted around town, but you shouldn’t talk to them, even if they ask you questions. Even if you were to tell them about the ‘calamity,’ they would just write it up as a curious story in some irresponsible article. There would be no use to it. Besides…” Here, Mr. Chibiki’s voice grew yet more intense as he continued. “Even if they make a fuss over it for a while, they will soon forget. The rest of the world, and even the people of Yomiyama, will quickly vanish from their minds. Anyone without a direct connection to the ‘phenomenon’ at North Yomi or the ‘accidents’ won’t hold on to memories of the ‘calamity’ and any related events for very long. It’s not a natural circumstance, you see? So no matter how worked up they may get about it, it’s only temporary, and their awareness will quickly fade. In my nearly thirty years of observation, that’s how it’s always been. Presumably this, too, is related to the ‘alterations’ and ‘falsifications’ that the ‘phenomenon’ brings about.” 3 Between first and second period, a student showed up to school late—Hazumi. I’d been a bit surprised to see her. When I spoke to her on the phone on Monday, she was very insistent that she was not going to come to class anymore, so…why is she here? After second period, I had looked over at Hazumi, and our eyes had met. She turned away awkwardly but didn’t stand up from her seat. I had gone over to her desk by the window and tried to speak to her. “I thought you weren’t going to come anymore. Did you have a change of heart?” Hazumi had stared silently out the window for a long while. “I’m scared. Somehow being home alone is just as frightening. If I turn on the TV, every channel is showing nothing but the incident in America…and it’s scary.” Her face was extremely pale. Upon closer inspection, she seemed much more haggard than before. “You told me about it on the phone the other day, but Misaki came to your house, didn’t she?” The question had been weighing on my mind, and I hadn’t been able to stop myself from asking. Hazumi had continued staring out the window and only nodded wordlessly. Then I’d asked another question. “You said that Misaki had on an eye patch when she showed up, right? When you went out to the entryway, did she take it off at all?” At last, Hazumi glanced up at me. “She did. She took it off, and she stared right at me.” “And then?” “That’s it.” “She didn’t say anything?” “I did hear her mumble, ‘I see,’ but that was it.” Stopping to picture the scene, I’d been able to understand why Hazumi had been creeped out. But even so, my mind had raced, wondering what had happened. If Mei had been wearing the eye patch over her left eye, then she’d likely been wearing the “doll’s eye” in her left socket. Then she’d taken off the eye patch to “look” at Hazumi. Just what was she up to? It couldn’t be… At that point, a nagging suspicion had bubbled up in my mind of its own accord. It couldn’t be… No, but… Nothing had been clear. The chime signaling the start of class had played, shaking me from my thoughts, and then third period had begun… 4 The earthquake hadn’t been that serious, but the two flower vases had fallen off the desks and broken. Vase fragments and flowers were scattered across the floor, along with spilled water. Several students left their seats to clean up the mess of their own accord. They all moved somewhat timidly. One student gathered the fragments with a broom and dustpan, another wiped the wet floor with a mop, and another bundled up the scattered flowers and set them back on the desks… At a glance, it looked like their movements were coordinated and focused. The students cleaning up did their work in silence, and the other students watched them attentively. Everyone’s expressions were incredibly stiff. Though we had recovered from the shock and fear of the earthquake, it was obvious that the surprise of it had caused a surge of fresh anxiety to spread through the classroom. In the midst of all that— The one who realized the first little change was none other than me. I suddenly became aware of a dissonant sound and looked around the room, wondering what it could be. What I saw there, one of the white chrysanthemum flowers that had been picked up off the floor and set on a desk— A single black insect was resting there. What’s that? I strained my eyes, and it became clear. “A fly…” The words rushed from my mouth reflexively, and one of the girls who had been cleaning (Fukuchi, the class representative) let out an, “Oh no!” Normally, a single fly in the classroom wouldn’t cause much of a stir. But considering everything that had happened, it was really ominous and unsettling to see one sitting on the flowers set out in tribute to the dead… “Oh no,” Fukuchi repeated, “when did that get in here?” She waved the fly off with her hand. The faint sound of its wings as it left the flower petal made it to my ear. And then, immediately afterward— Suddenly, a different noise, dozens of times louder than the fly’s wings, was audible from somewhere. Someone shouted, “Wah!” It was a boy sitting in a seat by the windows. When I looked— Right outside the open window was some kind of huge, unstable black mass… Quickly, I realized what it was. Flies. Dozens of them, no, hundreds, flying together in a swarm. Right at that moment, they started to pour into the classroom through the window. The class burst into chaos. In the middle of it, in my head, suddenly— Bzz—, bzzzzbzz. There was a high-pitched vortex of fluttering wings. It was separate from the buzzing I was hearing in reality and seemed to overtake it for a moment… Bzz—, bzzzzbzz. Is this…? Is this the sound from three years ago? A flashback to that disgusting experience in the basement of Lakeshore Manor? And I only just finally managed to stop thinking about it so often this past year… Bzz—, bzzzzbzz. The harsh noise seemed to surround my whole body and reverberate through my brain. Whether I wanted it to or not, the sound was calling to mind the vivid memory and terror of “death”… The students were in an uproar. Since the windows to the corridor were all open, some people frantically tried to drive the swarm away. A few bugs flew out of the room, but many remained. “Nooo!” I heard a scream, and when I turned around to look, I saw it was coming from Hazumi. She was batting at her hair and clothes with both hands as flies pursued her. “Why…oh why?! Leave me alone!” Kusakabe rushed over to Hazumi, who was almost in tears, and the two of them drove the insects away together. Eventually, Hazumi’s agitation subsided, but— Bzz—, bzzzzbzz. Even though the chaos in the classroom had finally settled down, I could still hear the high-pitched buzzing in my mind. I shook my head hard and squeezed my eyes shut, but it just wouldn’t go away. Dropping back down into my seat, I put both elbows up on my desk and rested my head in my hands. The endless droning of wings was joined in my mind by the odor of “death.” I knew that it couldn’t be real, but I felt like I was losing my grip on “reality.” I pinched my nose shut with one hand. “Um…teacher, I’m…” Just then, I heard someone make an anguished appeal. 5 “I’m, um, not feeling…” The complaint was coming from a girl named Ichiyanagi. She sat in the very front desk in the second row over from the corridor. Only her back was visible to me from where I sat. “Oh?” Ms. Inagaki answered. “If you’re not feeling well, go to the nurse’s office…” But before she could finish her statement, Ichiyanagi’s figure disappeared from sight, accompanied by a dull thunking noise. Perhaps she had tried to stand, and her legs had given out. She’d keeled over in her chair and collapsed to the floor. “Oh! Are you all right?” Ms. Inagaki rushed over with a panic stricken across her face. However, as she did— “I feel bad, too.” “Me too.” “And me.” …One after another, students started complaining about feeling unwell. “It’s hard to breathe,” whined a boy whose shoulders were rising and falling furiously, as if he had just finished running as hard as he could. “It hurts, I…” “Something smells weird,” remarked one girl, Takanashi, pressing a handkerchief to her nose and mouth. “Hey, you smell it, too, right? The weird stench. It’s making me feel kind of sick.” “Me too. It’s…” The boy who answered her as he stood up was Morishita, the new head of the biology club. “It’s suddenly gotten worse.” He took several tottering steps toward the window, but before he got there, he put both hands on his upper abdomen, fell to his knees, and began to vomit. Several other students tried to stand on unsteady legs and collapsed. Many others remained seated, facedown on their desks and suffering from headaches. What about Hazumi? I looked over to her with concern and found that she, too, was lying limp with her face planted on her desk. Kusakabe must have noticed the offensive odor, too, because she was holding her handkerchief against her mouth. Etou had left her seat and gone over to the windows on the corridor side, and now the upper half of her body was hanging out over the sill, and she’d stopped moving. Even Tajimi, who had come to school despite losing his older sister on Sunday, hadn’t found the strength to get out of his seat, and now he sat crouching beside his desk. Clearly, something strange was going on. Almost every student in the classroom was now doing poorly. Ms. Inagaki just stood there in earnest confusion, watching it all happen… We had fallen into a state of mass hysteria. So many deaths in such a short time since the start of the second semester—the “calamity” had stopped for a little while, but it obviously wasn’t really over. The fear and anxiety of our situation had been building and building, and then the earthquake, and the broken vases, and the swarm of flies… These ominous events had pushed our stress past the breaking point, manifesting as real, physical symptoms. It wasn’t clear whether everyone had been affected all at once or if the symptoms had spread like a contagion. I was only able to make sense of the situation later, after it was all over. At the time, I’d been too engrossed in the pathological chaos of the classroom to understand it. I had been swallowed up by the hysteria. “What the hell is this?” I heard someone yell. “What’s going on? Are we all about to die here?” That’s ridiculous! But even as I was thinking that, I had been sitting there the whole time with both hands on my desk, positioned as if I was going to stand up from my chair but basically unable to move beyond that. The high-pitched whine continued to reverberate around inside my head. The disgusting smell of “death” wasn’t going away at all; nausea and vertigo assaulted me. It felt like the person I knew as “me” was gradually slipping away from “reality”… At some point, I must have passed out. The only other thing I remember is a chorus of ambulance sirens. 6 “…Sou?” I opened my eyes upon hearing my name to find Izumi Akazawa. I was in a familiar place. It was her apartment in the Freuden Tobii. “So as I was saying, the important thing in the end is the balance of ‘power,’” Izumi insisted. She looked rather upset. “The balance of ‘power.’” I realized that it was my own voice repeating her words back to her. She was—Izumi Akazawa was this year’s “casualty,” and I had returned her to “death” that night in July, so of course, the girl sitting with me now was not my real cousin. She must have been a reproduction of my own mind… “You’ve got the resurrected ‘casualty’ and the ‘non-existers’ established as a ‘countermeasure.’ The balance of those two seats of ‘power’ is surely—” “Surely?” Even though I knew this wasn’t reality, that it had to be something like a dream, I felt a sort of sense of impatience as I asked, “Surely what?” Izumi’s expression changed to a sad smile as she turned her back on me. “Think, Sou,” she said. “Think and remember.” “…Sou?” I heard my name and opened my eyes to see Mei Misaki. I was in a familiar place. It was the Freuden Tobii again, in the room where I had lived for close to four months. “So I had a sister born on the same day in the same year as me—a twin sister. We were fraternal twins, but we looked a lot alike…,” Mei said quietly. “But she died before me, in April three years back. Of illness.” Ah, this is…this isn’t reality, either. It’s not happening now; it’s in the past. If I remember correctly, this happened in June when she visited my apartment. It’s not a dream—it’s my memories playing back in my mind. That evening, Mei had told me her “life story,” something she had barely ever spoken of before. From hearing her tale, I had learned of the true relationship between Mei and Kirika, and… “Aah,” Mei groaned as she intertwined her fingers and stretched both arms straight up. “I’d rather not have any family or blood relatives to worry about, but I’m still a child, and children can’t just run away. And while I’m stuck here, wishing I could run away, I, too, will inevitably grow up.” I don’t want to grow up. That had been my urgent wish as an elementary schooler—at least up until that summer three years ago. But now… I wonder…? How do I feel about that? The very same thoughts echoed again in my mind. And then… “Listen, Mei? Can I ask you just one thing?” I inquired. “It’s that twin sister you told me about earlier. What was her name?” “Her name…” Mei moved her lips. “She was…” In broken syllables, she told me the name. “She was…… … .” But I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I couldn’t read her lips, either. Mei’s figure suddenly melted into the darkness, leaving me alone in my confusion. Then I heard whispering in my ear. “Think, Sou.” I could only hear the voice. Is this Izumi’s… No, is it Mei’s? “Think and remember.” 7 I woke up in bed. For a moment, I didn’t understand what was going on, but an instant later, I realized that I was in a hospital room. I could recall hearing the sound of ambulance sirens just before I blacked out. Someone must have noticed the crisis in our room and called emergency services, and now… I tried propping my upper body up slowly. Though my head was still a little fuzzy, I didn’t feel particularly unwell… Well, there was a dull pain running from my right palm into my wrist. When I examined the area, I saw there was a bandage wound around my hand. I must have injured it when I’d lost consciousness and collapsed. My left arm had an IV needle stuck into it, and when I moved it, a slight pain ran up that side, too. “How are you feeling?” someone asked me. A nurse had just stepped into the room. She was an older woman but still several years younger than Auntie Sayuri. “Ah…fine. I think I’m all right.” I caught sight of her name, “Kurumada,” on her ID tag. “Does the wound on your hand hurt?” “No, not that much.” Ms. Kurumada came over to my bedside, checked on the state of the IV drip, then spoke to me like she was comforting a child. “I’ll be done with this soon, okay? Then I’ll call the doctor in.” “Um…where am I?” “In the municipal hospital. Someone called us about a bunch of students getting sick and collapsing.” “So everyone’s here, then?” “Yes.” I looked around the hospital room. It was for a single patient. Atop the single bedside chair sat my bag. Someone must have brought it along when they transported me here. I couldn’t see the clock, so I asked the nurse what the time was. Ms. Kurumada informed me it was 1:45 in the afternoon. “Where is everyone else now?” “We’re having the students with minor symptoms rest in one of the large rooms on the sixth floor. Those who collapsed or came in with injuries were put into whatever private rooms were available for more serious treatment.” “So everyone’s all right, then?” I couldn’t help myself from asking. “There was nothing life-threatening…?” “Everything’s fine on that account,” Ms. Kurumada said with a kind smile. “I heard there was a disturbance over an offensive odor—is that what happened?” Even when asked directly, I couldn’t quite give an answer. Really, at the time, I didn’t know what I could have possibly said. “Okay, all done here,” announced Ms. Kurumada as she pulled out my IV line with skilled motions. “Now then, you rest here, just like this.” The nurse departed, and once I was left alone in my private room, my ears picked up a long, low rumbling. Is that thunder? But it’s been sunny all day… Apprehensively, I peeked out the window. I couldn’t see even a sliver of blue sky. It was so dark that it was hard to believe it was still daytime. I shuddered, full of dread. It seemed like a terrible omen. Then I began to shake again. 8 Despite being told to rest, I had no desire to lay there motionlessly. I got out of bed and pulled my cell phone out of my bag where it sat on the chair. There were two missed calls in the history, both from Auntie Sayuri. The school must have reached out to her. She had called my phone directly, likely worried sick. I had to let her know that I was all right, so I pressed the button to call her back. However, the only thing I could hear was some kind of terrible static, and the line never connected. Maybe the reception is bad… I stuck my phone into my pants pocket, then left the hospital room to go relieve myself. Though I was a little unsteady on my feet at first, that went away after a moment. I must be all right now. My room number started with the digit 5. When I examined a display on the wall, I discovered that I was on the fifth floor of the hospital ward. The pediatric area, apparently. I found a bathroom quite a distance from my room and did my business. I tried calling Auntie Sayuri once again from there, but yet again my efforts were fruitless—all I could hear on the other end was static. Just as I was about to quietly return to my room— “Huh?” I let out a noise of surprise and stopped in my tracks. I was standing in a small open room like a lounge that joined two corridors. It was about half the size of our classroom, and it had several sets of tables and chairs. In one section of the lounge stood a large television. A special news report on the present situation in America was playing on screen, but the sound had been muted. In front of the TV— A very young girl was standing there, alone. Her back was toward the screen, and she tilted her head to the side as she looked at me. “Hello,” I said out of curiosity. I recognized her. “You’re Kiha, right?” I think I’m right; her name is Kiha. The second-grade daughter of Dr. Usui, the head doctor at the “clinic”…but… The girl was wearing lemon-yellow pajamas instead of the usual uniform she would have donned on her way home from school. Which meant— “Are you staying here?” I asked without thinking. “Is something the matter?” The girl—Kiha—ignored my question. “I’m worried about Papa,” she said quietly. “Huh?” I didn’t understand. “Your father? What’s—?” Before I could ask what was going on, Kiha silently turned around and walked calmly over to one of the windows in the back of the lounge space. I followed after her, growing concerned. I had absolutely no grasp on where this space was located in the confusing labyrinth of the hospital ward, so I didn’t know where the window was positioned exactly or even which direction it faced. Only one section of the window was open, and Kiha paused in front of it. I followed her over, and when she stopped, I looked out to see where she was staring. It was even gloomier outside than it had been when I’d looked out the window of my room earlier. It was so dark that you would think it was nearly sunset. Though the low rumbling of thunder was absent here, the shrill cry of the wind filled the air in its place. And there was another noise, completely different from the gale. It was not a noise of the natural world. It was dreadful—harsh and grating. Is it some sort of explosion? A helicopter? Kiha was looking directly out the window. She said nothing, didn’t move at all. “Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked quietly. “Is something…?” “The wind,” she replied. “Huh? What about it?” “The wind,” she repeated, extending her right arm in front of her. I stepped up to stand beside her and gazed out at the dark sky where she was pointing. When I noticed her expression, my breath caught in my throat. Both her eyes were open wide. Her irises were a different color than they had been just a moment ago. They were now a strange shade of dark blue with little rivulets of silver running through them. “That girl…” Suddenly, something Dr. Usui had told me about his daughter at some point in the past came back to me. “You know, that girl’s always had something a little strange about her.” “The wind is coming,” Kiha announced. She looked possessed. She spoke in a hollow, flat voice, like she wasn’t really the one doing the talking. The wind is coming… The wind is coming? As soon as she said that, the sound of the gale shifted abruptly. The constant, high-pitched whine was replaced in an instant by a terrific, thunderous boom, as if all the sound had been gathered together and pressed into a single, massive din. It was terrifying, but it still did not prepare me for what came next. The illumination outside also rapidly faded. Before my eyes, the sky grew dark as night, as though a wave of inky blackness had swept over the world all at once. And then came the wind, accompanied by a horrendous tumult, like the bellow of some gigantic creature. A great gust blew in through the open window, sweeping Kiha off her feet. She let out a short scream as the winds literally blew her small body away, sending her sprawling across the floor. The gale buffeted me as well, and although it did not blow me away, I was forced to take several steps backward and then drop to one knee. Unable to stand, I resorted to using my hands and knees to brace myself against the force of the squall. I could hear people in the hospital (several adults and two or three children) screaming. Pamphlets and other papers that had been sitting on tables and counters swirled through the air in disarray. Somehow or other, I managed to stand up and made my way toward the window, moving against the wind. I was thinking that I had to at least close the open window. However— Bam! A dull, violent noise rang out nearby. Another shriek came from someone’s mouth. I nearly shouted, too, in my surprise. Bam! The same sound came again. What is that? What on earth is happening now? As my head was in chaos with these questions— Bam! Wham! B-bam… The clangor persisted, reverberating from somewhere beyond the bank of windows before me. It sounded like something was colliding with the glass over and over again. Once I reached the windows, the source of the noise became clear. Birds. From the color and size, they were probably pigeons. Maybe they were being blown about by the sudden gale. Or maybe they were trying to escape it. Perhaps the sudden change in weather had taken them by surprise. Whatever the case, a flock of frenzied pigeons was swarming about the building’s windows, crashing into them again and again. Some of the birds bounced off the glass and flew away, but many plummeted motionless to the ground, or stuck to the windows, writhing and bleeding. The windowpanes were smeared with gore and run through with cracks. It looked like the glass might shatter at any moment. Argh, what on earth is happening outside? What’s going on around this building right now? What’s next? I recalled a day in early May when a sudden hailstorm had struck the school in the middle of the late Ms. Kanbayashi’s science class. It was right after Hazumi had renounced her role as a “non-exister” and insisted that we acknowledge her. The hail poured down like bullets and shattered a window, after which an injured crow flew into the classroom… This time, there was no hail. There wasn’t even any rain. And yet the ferocity of the terrible gale was unlike anything I’d ever seen. The roar of the wind was inescapable. A lone pigeon fluttered in through an open window, battered by the gusts. By that time, a few hospital staff members had noticed the commotion. Several people screamed, and the bird flew off down the hallway and disappeared. I saw one of the nurses take Kiha by the hand and help her stand up. “What happened, Kiha?” I heard the nurse ask. “Are you all right? What a surprise that was! Okay, let’s go back to your room, shall we?” I was somewhat relieved to see the girl obediently follow the nurse’s suggestion. I fled from the area near the windows. My knees were quivering. It felt like the temperature in the room had suddenly dropped, but at the same time, it seemed like it was someone else who noticed it, someone who was not “me.” Argh, what is this feeling…? Oh… It felt as though the gale had blown half of “me” away, leaving another “inner” part of “me” exposed somehow. So if things stay like this, I… Just as I began to sense those disturbing thoughts overtake me, once again, several people screamed at once. The lights in the hospital flickered before suddenly giving out. 9 The blackout lasted only a few seconds. Power was almost immediately restored, but even after the electricity came back, the lights continued to flicker. There was no way to know for certain, but the violent winds had probably caused some problem with the electrical system. Turning my back to the disturbance near the windows, I set off down the hallway. I was still beset with the bizarre sensation that some part of “me” was not “inside” but “outside” myself. Should I go back to my room? Or should I look in on everyone who’s in that big hall on the sixth floor? I walked down the corridor, vacantly musing to myself. Prompted by the sudden violent weather or the problems with the lights, people were emerging from their rooms and going every which way. I heard a number of cell phones getting calls. I heard the cries and shouts of children. I saw adults stopping staff members and grilling them about the situation. What had been a quiet afternoon in the hospital until just a few minutes earlier had abruptly been replaced by a complete clamor. The lounge I had just moved from probably wasn’t the only place where pigeons were crashing into windows, for as I walked down the hallway, the din of the wind engulfed me. Windows had probably broken in other areas as well. At any rate, it was a bizarre situation. And surely the problem wasn’t isolated to the fifth floor. The whole ward was probably dealing with the same craziness right now. Despite the chaos, half of “me” was still wondering—What was going on with that girl Kiha earlier? Did she notice the wind was coming and tell me at the perfect time? Or…? She said, “I’m worried about Papa.” And she was obviously hospitalized for some health problem herself. She left her room on her own. But what about her “papa,” Dr. Usui…? Oh, I get it, I realized. Maybe Dr. Usui is in this building now? With all the students they brought in, he was probably called over from the psychiatric ward to help examine them. Maybe that’s what she meant by “worried”? Just what is she worried about? What kind of worry? What on earth did Kiha Usui mean…? I think I’ll go to the sixth floor after all rather than return to my dorm. If I go to the sixth floor, I might be able to see Dr. Usui. And if I see him, I’d better tell him how Kiha was acting earlier. There was a floor map exactly where I needed one. I found the marking for the central elevator and figured out where it was in relation to my present position. As the lights continued to flicker, I moved down the hallway at a cautious pace. After rounding who knows how many corners, I arrived at the elevator lobby. However, neither of the two elevators was operating. A consequence of the power outage earlier, no doubt. Several adults were gathered in the lobby, and anxious voices asking, “What was that?” and “What’s going on?” filled the space. They all sounded very irritated, or upset, or nervous… “Hiratsuka?” Just then, someone called my name. I spotted a familiar black-clad figure in the hallway across the lobby. It was Mr. Chibiki. “I heard you were in a room on this floor. How are you feeling? Okay now?” “Yes, I’m all right,” I replied. “Is that so? Good.” “How’s everyone on the sixth floor?” I inquired. “They mostly seem to have calmed down,” Mr. Chibiki replied. “Though it’s hard to get much information, what with everyone’s parents complaining.” “What do you think happened during third period, Mr. Chibiki?” “Well, I heard the whole story from Ms. Inagaki. Apparently, the disturbance was caused by some sort of foul stench—however, it turns out that nothing smells at all, so it was probably a byproduct of group hysteria or something similar. The teachers who examined the other students were of the same opinion.” “Okay.” I nodded, recalling the moments of confusion before I’d lost consciousness. The bandaged wound on my right hand throbbed with dull pain. “I’m glad everyone made it through unharmed.” Mr. Chibiki nodded back at me. “Mm-hmm. But it’s not calm here, either, is it?” he remarked, frowning sharply. Looking up at the flickering lights in the ceiling, he continued. “Somehow, these…” “Pigeons,” I informed him. “Just now, a whole lot of pigeons crashed into the windows and caused a big uproar.” “A bird strike against the hospital windows, huh?” Mr. Chibiki frowned even more severely. “And the weather has been odd for a while, too. It’s not raining, but it’s as if this place—as if the hospital, and all of Yumigaoka—was suddenly swallowed up by a massive storm.” Do these strange circumstances mean that students of Grade 3 Class 3 somehow brought the “calamity” with them to the hospital? I’d like to think that would be impossible, but after all the strangeness surrounding the “calamity” this month, I don’t think anything would surprise me. That’s how it felt, and I was horrified. “What will you do now, Mr. Chibiki?” “I was planning to head back upstairs.” “All right, I’ll come with you.” I can go back and get my bag from my room later. “The elevator doesn’t seem to be working, does it? Well, the stairs are this way.” Mr. Chibiki led the way, and we headed up to the sixth floor. 10 Halfway up the stairs, we ran into a female student going down the steps. It was Hazumi. “Ah!” We both gasped simultaneously. “What’s the matter?” Mr. Chibiki asked her calmly. “Um…I’m frightened,” she answered, looking Mr. Chibiki in the face. “I’m not feeling unwell anymore, so…” “Oh, but, Hazumi—” “If I stay in that room with everyone, something else scary might happen. Since we’ve been in there, the lights have gone out, that terrible wind shattered a window… I’m too scared to stay there.” “It’s dangerous outside because of the strong wind.” “I’ll be in the first-floor lobby. It’s less scary there.” Refusing to listen to anything further, she jogged off down the stairs. I couldn’t help but sense some kind of unspeakable danger surrounding her, but—it occurred to me that she was hardly alone there. Everyone who’d suffered a breakdown during third period, myself included, was still very much at risk. Even if our outward wounds had been treated, even if we were no longer showing any symptoms, the danger lurking within each of our minds had not yet disappeared— We came out into the sixth-floor hallway, and I followed along behind Mr. Chibiki. Just like on the fifth floor, the lights overhead were unstable, and pockets of raucous noise blared throughout the corridors. After following him around several corners, Mr. Chibiki stopped briefly and pointed to the end of the long hallway. “It’s down there. The hospital said they had a large room that wasn’t in use…” He trailed off. Suddenly, there was a crash, a furious sound, like something had been destroyed with terrific force. A violent tremor seemed to shake the whole building. Another earthquake? That was my first thought, but it was obvious that that was not the case. This wasn’t a natural disaster. Instead, it seemed more like the accident I had witnessed last Wednesday, when that huge chunk of concrete had fallen from the building that was being demolished… People were curled up on the floor in the hallway, holding their heads in their hands. “What was that just now?” Mr. Chibiki grumbled. “It was kind of like—” I didn’t hear the rest. People started wailing and screaming, crying and bellowing. “This is bad.” Mr. Chibiki broke into a run. I followed after him. I still didn’t know what was going on. When I reached the end of the hall, I froze in place, confronted with a disastrous spectacle. The light fixtures had shattered, scattering broken glass everywhere. The air was hazy, filled with a whirl of dust and debris, along with a musty, chemical odor and the smell of something burning… Mr. Chibiki came to an abrupt halt. I stared with eyes wide open. I could hear screams and frantic footsteps coming from up ahead. Figures were rushing out of the haze, one after the other. Students wearing the North Yomi uniform. First one boy, then three girls, then another boy… “Ah, Mr. Chibiki, it’s t-terrible!” the first boy shouted to our teacher—it was Morishita, from the biology club. His face and hair, shirt and pants, were filthy. All the other students were in the same state. “What was it?” Mr. Chibiki asked. “What happened?” Morishita turned toward us as if to answer but was pushed aside by the three girls behind him, who shoved him about as they rushed past us. “I can’t do this anymore.” “Not again!” “We have to run.” “We’ve got to get out of here!” I heard the students shouting. “A helicopter suddenly—” Morishita called out frantically. “I think it probably crashed into the window of the room next door. The wall and ceiling collapsed, and it took our room with it…” A helicopter? A helicopter crash? I was stunned. I had no words. The vehicle must have been caught in the gale and blown out of control. But for it to crash into this building, on this floor, into the room beside the one where everyone from my class was staying of all things… “…The helicopter is really messed up. The broken rotor blades flew off, and the room’s a wreck, too. It’s awful, just…terrible.” “Any injuries?” “I think so. But we have to get out of here. Everyone’s freaking out; there’s nothing we can do…” As we were having this exchange, people continued streaming past us. There were students from our class and unrelated adults, too. Some people had frantic expressions like Morishita, while others wore faces blank with shock… Then, before long— An ear-splitting explosion jolted the building. I guessed that the fuel tank in the damaged helicopter had caught fire. I could make out some flames flickering on the other side of the haze. A wave of intense heat washed over me. “It’s no good—run!” Mr. Chibiki ordered us loudly, and we turned on our heels in a mad rush. The flickering lights dimmed completely, and the windowless hallway was plunged into darkness. The fire alarm started wailing. Patients and their visitors rushed out of their rooms, joining the confusion in the corridor. There were doctors and nurses there, too, but they had no hope of directing the maddened crowd. The hospital ward was quickly consumed by panic and confusion. 11 After that, my mind grew more and more unstable, and my hold on reality became strangely fragmented. I knew for sure that I was turning, thinking that I had to escape. Then I was running off down the hallway. But it was only half of “me” making my body move like that. My other half was still “outside” myself; even as I was jostled about in the growing mayhem of the place, I felt as though I was watching myself from a slight distance. People were running every which way as they attempted to escape the pitch-black corridor. It sounded like everyone was shouting. Then the emergency generator kicked on, although only a few of the emergency lights actually seemed to be in working order. To make matters worse, the smoke from the fire that had occurred down the hall was beginning to spread. The scene grew more and more frenzied. It was on the verge of devolving into total madness. I could see the elevator lobby on the other side of the crowd, but the elevators must have still been out of order. When people saw this, everyone started streaming toward the stairs. The stampede surged around several inpatients with obviously limited mobility, and I wondered what on earth would become of them. Part of “me” was watching the situation as if from outside, while at the same time, some other “me” was pushing through the crowd in an attempt to flee, keeping low so as not to inhale any smoke. I had long since lost sight of Mr. Chibiki. The light from the emergency lamps was dim and spotty. I could hardly see a thing. There was an announcement running on the hospital PA system—I thought it probably had something to do with the emergency, but I couldn’t make out what it was saying because the hallway was much too noisy. In the midst of all this— The crush of bodies streaming toward the elevator lobby knocked me about. Then I felt someone push me, and I staggered. Then another person ran into me, and I lost my balance entirely, falling face-first into the floor. People stepped on my back, my legs, shoulders, and arms… Unable to stand, I rolled over onto my side and curled up on the floor to protect myself from the surging crowd. While I was on the ground, half of “me” was overcome by an intense fear. I recalled the dreadful footage of the American terror attack that had been running on TV since the night before. The airplanes crashing into the buildings and exploding, the fire breaking out and spreading, then finally the buildings collapsing… In my mind, the shocking spectacle coalesced with my current situation. I was certain that the hospital was going to crumble to the ground just as those buildings in New York had. It was a powerful and entirely irrational fear. I’m sure it’s not just me, thought half of “me” dimly. I’m sure that almost every person here is imagining the same thing, whipping themselves up into a frenzy. That’s why they’re like this… But another part of “me” couldn’t stop to think. Gotta run away, run, run away. Run fast! If we dawdle, this building could collapse at any time, and we’d all die. We’ll die. We’ll die! I rolled across the floor, and at some point, I took a powerful blow to the chest, knocking the air from my lungs…then I briefly blacked out. …Aching all over, I finally sat back up. The smell of smoke hit my nose with more of a sting than before. Flustered, I took off down the hall, keeping my head low. By this time, however, I had no idea where I was or where I was headed. Suddenly, I caught sight of an EMERGENCY EXIT sign. I didn’t see anyone near it, but I did not hesitate. Rushing over toward the sign, I lunged for the gray iron door beneath it. I grabbed the bar with both hands, threw my shoulder against the door, and pushed it open. I fell through to the other side and briefly blacked out again. …The space was incredibly dark. There were no windows. There was but a single, dim light fixture in the ceiling. In the sparse gloom, I could just make out the emergency stairs extending downward to the lower levels. I couldn’t see any light farther down the staircase. It was like it was being swallowed into the depths of the earth. But at that point, it would have been dangerous to go back the way I’d come. I couldn’t stop moving forward. My mind made up, I began to descend. There were no signs of anyone else. Has this stairwell been somehow forgotten by everyone? Or maybe there’s some kind of problem with it…? At this point, it was too late to think about it. I had to go down these stairs regardless; I had to escape the building. I wanted to hurry, but as I descended, the light vanished, leaving me in darkness. With one hand against the concrete wall, I continued down the stairs one step at a time. After making it about one level down, I was completely blind. It was at this point that I felt the fragmentation of my consciousness, which had started when the “wind” on the fifth floor struck me, finally resolve itself. I sensed that the half of “me” that had been knocked “outside” by the wind had now returned. I was a singular being once again. But it also seemed as though I’d lost my sight in the process. Looking forward or back, left or right, I couldn’t see anything—only stark, utter blackness. Naturally, I couldn’t see where I was walking, either. Nevertheless, I still had to get down the stairs, so I groped along with my hands and feet. Curiously, no outside sounds made it through the walls of the stairwell. The smell of smoke didn’t follow me down, either, cut off by the iron door above. But for precisely those reasons, I couldn’t stop there… I descended the staircase in blackness. As I went down, an eerie sensation sprouted inside me. I know I’m still definitely inside the hospital, but it feels like these dark stairs are cut off from the real world somehow. As I go down floor by floor, am I sinking into a world consumed by even greater darkness? But I wasn’t able to ruminate on those strange thoughts for very long. After going who knows how far down, I finally missed a step. I frantically tried to catch myself, but I couldn’t do it… I began to fall. I had no idea how far I fell or where or why I stopped. I think I hit my head hard on the way down, but I didn’t have time to register the pain. Once again, I blacked out. 12 “Think, Sou.” I heard a voice. “Think and remember.” What’s that…? Ah, again? Is it the voice of Izumi Akazawa again? A dream?—I thought and opened my eyes, but even after I opened them, there was only darkness. I couldn’t see Izumi. “Think, Sou.” Darkness and the voice, which repeated the same words. “Think and remember.” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be thinking about… I stared into the inky black. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to remember… What? And how? I continued peering into the deep darkness. Suddenly, a pale light shone from some source I couldn’t see, gently illuminating a certain object. It was a huge set of scales. There was a long balance bar with two plates hanging from it, one on either side. It was the only thing I could see, suspended there in the void. “So as I was saying, the important thing in the end is the balance of ‘power.’” Izumi’s voice came to me again. Balance. The balance of “power” between the “casualty” and the “non-existers”… Is that what this scale is trying to show me? While I was contemplating this, a ring of luminescence, like a spotlight, illuminated a space to my left to reveal a single, naked, ball-jointed doll. Its gender was ambiguous, and its bare white skin was somehow captivating. For some reason, its head was covered with a black hood. Next, another light beamed down onto a space to my right. This time, it revealed two similar dolls. Both had their heads covered in the same hoods… Then, an invisible hand began to move. It lifted up the doll to my left and the two to my right and placed them on the left and right plates of the scale. After tipping slowly for a moment, the balance stopped, its bar horizontal. These are… The left is the “casualty.” The right are the “non-existers.” Is that what this is? The “casualty” that appeared this year in Grade 3 Class 3, Izumi Akazawa, was the doll on the left. The “non-existers” who were set up as a “countermeasure” were the dolls on the right. One of the two was me, Sou Hiratsuka, and the other was Yuika Hazumi. Thus, the “power” of the “casualty” and the “non-existers” was in a state of equilibrium. This “balance” had lasted from April until the start of May. The “calamity” had been prevented as long as both sides were in alignment. However, one week after the start of May, Hazumi had renounced her role as a “non-exister.” The invisible hand removed one of the dolls from the right-hand plate, and the scale tilted dramatically to the left. The balance of “power” had changed, and the “calamity” began. First, Ms. Kanbayashi’s older brother died, then Tsugunaga, then Takanashi’s mother… In order to restore the skewed equilibrium, Izumi had proposed an “additional countermeasure,” but around the end of May— A new doll appeared. This was Makise, who had volunteered to be the “second non-exister” in Hazumi’s place. The invisible hand picked up the doll and placed it on the right-hand plate. But the balance of the scale did not change. The “calamity” had not stopped, and at the end of June, the brothers Shunsuke and Keisuke Kouda and their parents had died. The retroactive “countermeasures” could not stop the “calamity” once it had started. Once the balance was broken, it couldn’t be restored. And then— The “countermeasures” were discontinued. The invisible hand removed the two dolls from the right-hand plate. Only the single figure on the left remained, and naturally, the scale tipped even farther in that direction. The “calamity” would not let up. However— Now the invisible hand moved again and removed the hood from the doll still sitting on the left-hand plate. From underneath the hood, Izumi’s delicately constructed face appeared. The hand lifted the doll. Unseen forces tore at its torso and limbs, quickly breaking it into pieces, which faded away into darkness. That night at the start of July, the “casualty” Izumi had returned to “death.” With her disappearance, the balance should have been restored. And yet— I stared at the scale, looming out of the darkness. There was no longer anything on the left or right plates. With nothing on either side, it should have reached an equilibrium, and yet— There were the rapid deaths of many “related individuals” in September. The “calamity” had not ceased. Which meant… The scale still tipped to the left. Even though there was nothing on either plate… Why? I asked myself as I stared at the balance. Why? Why? Why?… “As long as you do your job as a ‘non-exister,’ Sou, I’m sure everything will be fine.” I recalled Mei’s words from some time ago, in April. “By designating someone as the ‘non-exister,’ we can account for a ‘casualty’ appearing in the class and keep the roster at its original number. That way, balance is maintained. That’s the original meaning of the ‘countermeasures’—they’re a charm. As long as you do your job, the class should still be protected from ‘accidents.’” At the time, Mei had seemed very confident. We had both thought that even if Hazumi quit being a “non-exister,” the balance would be preserved, with one “casualty” against one “non-exister.” And yet, reality had proved different. Hazumi abandoning her role had been enough to start the “calamity.” “That’s the power dynamic we’re working with this year.” Izumi had given me her opinion on the subject. “Wait…you mean that we’re out of alignment with only one ‘non-exister’?” I had asked. “Out of whack, off balance…yes, that’s the picture. If we don’t increase the ‘power’ of the ‘non-existers,’ we won’t be able to negate the ‘power’ of this year’s ‘casualty.’” That’s how Izumi had answered me, and at the time, I’d agreed with her, but…now I probably needed to rethink the meaning of the power balance. Why? Still questioning, I kept staring at the balance scales. Why was Mei’s prediction wrong? Why was the balance of power wrong this year? Why? Why? Why? …As I repeated the question, staring at the scales, something appeared on the left plate, as though it had coalesced out of the darkness—something I had never seen before. It was a doll, its whole body painted pitch-black. …It can’t be. The instant I saw it, a cold chill ran up my spine. 13 “Think, Sou.” Izumi’s voice came to me again from somewhere. “Think and remember.” The scales that had been floating in the darkness disappeared, and as they vanished— …Thud. A certain scene played back in my mind. I was in the Grade 3 Class 3 classroom on the third floor of Building C. Nothing was written on the blackboard. There were desks and chairs, lined up in neat rows. But none of the students moved to sit in their places. This is… Yes, this is the classroom on April 9, after the opening ceremony for the first semester. On Ms. Kanbayashi’s order, everyone sat at their desks except for me. One student occupied each place. The number of seats was exactly right. In other words, there was nowhere for me to sit. …We were one desk short. “Think, Sou.” I shook my head slowly as the voice repeated. “Think and remember.” …Thud. I remembered thinking at the time that we had one too few desks. Everyone must have had the same thought. So…no, wait. Ah, what was it? Just now, something… …Thud. …Something’s out of place. Something feels wrong about this… …Is that really what happened? Was there really one desk too few that day? Everyone was in the classroom, and then the “extra person,” the “casualty,” Izumi was there, too, so… Ah, wait! That’s wrong. I’m wrong. I was wrong. It wasn’t everyone. Because Makise didn’t come to school that day. She was in the hospital from April on. In which case… With her absent, there should have been one too many desks in the classroom. Even with the extra student, Izumi the “casualty,” the numbers would have evened out, so there should have been exactly the right number of desks. And yet… …What could it mean? Why didn’t I notice such a blatant irregularity before? …Thud. The same low reverberation from earlier rolled over me, outside my hearing range. As I felt the strange vibration, I grew totally disoriented. In this peculiar “world,” where the “phenomenon” can freely alter memories and records, how am I supposed to figure anything out? How can I know anything for sure? “Think, Sou.” And yet, Izumi’s voice repeated again. “Think and remember.” 14 I felt my cell phone vibrate and woke up with a start. Apparently, I’d lost consciousness after missing a step on the stairs and falling. I had no idea how long I’d been out. Despite opening my eyes, my surroundings were still pitch-dark. I was lying facedown on the cold, hard floor. That was all I knew. I fished my phone out of my pocket and looked at the display. It read: “Incoming call.” The vibration continued. The caller was— Mei Misaki. I hurried to push the answer button and held the phone to my ear. Ksh-ksh-ksh… Beneath the static, I could hear her voice. “…Sou? Are you okay?” I wonder if she knows about everything that happened to our class and the disaster at the hospital just now? Maybe she heard about it somehow and is calling to see if I’m safe? In that moment, there were so many things I wanted to ask her. But I didn’t exactly have the luxury of time on my side. “Mei.” I wrung out the word. “Did you figure it out already?” When I didn’t get an answer, I continued. “Why did you go visit Hazumi?” Ssh-ssh-ssh, ksh-ksh-ksh-ksh-ksh… Terrible static filled the line. Before I knew whether my words had actually made it through to Mei or not, the call went dead. I sighed and lowered the phone from my ear. I looked down at the display. Its faint light pushed back the darkness slightly. I had fallen onto a landing between sets of stairs. When I looked around, I saw a gray door right next to me. I could see that it had a sign on it that read <3-F>. Should I keep on going down these stairs? Or should I…? After some hesitation, I extended a hand toward the door. 15 The hallway on the third floor of the hospital was also dim, illuminated only by the sparse light of the emergency lamps. I didn’t see anyone else around. Everyone must have already escaped to a lower level. I couldn’t hear the fire alarm anymore. There was no smell of smoke. But I couldn’t imagine that the crisis on the sixth floor was over already, so it seemed dangerous to stop where I was. From knee to elbow, from shoulder to hip…I was throbbing with dull pain. And my head was pounding, too, on the top left, where I’d hit it during my tumble down the stairs. The bandage that had been wound around my right hand had come loose, and blood was oozing from the wound on my palm, which had reopened. The injury was larger than I thought it was, and there was a lot of blood. Catching my breath, I stood there alone in the eerie silence and glanced around. Just then, in the corner of my vision, a pale human figure stirred. Who? I thought. But a moment later, I accepted it. “I see.” So pale…and yes, that’s the North Yomi summer uniform. I saw the skirt flutter, so it’s a girl. The figure had her back turned to me. She paused at the corner of the corridor ahead. And then she gently turned back for a second to look at me. It was dark, and she was quite far away, so I couldn’t see her face clearly, but I murmured, “Ah…of course.” It was definitely her. It was Izumi. The ghost of Izumi Akazawa, who should no longer be in this world… Wait, I’m looking at a phantom right now. Just like that time in August, the 8th, I think it was, when I spotted her in the first-floor lobby of the hospital and followed after her. Izumi rounded the corner and disappeared. I followed her again and turned the same corner. I could faintly make her out in the gloom ahead, several meters down the hall. I broke into a jog and followed. She continued down the hallway, around another turn. I chased her. I persisted with this nightmarish repetition for a little while. I was trying my best to catch up to her, but no matter how fast I ran, the distance between us never closed an inch, and before long, I eventually lost sight of her… I had no idea where I was or the path I’d taken to get there. Just like that time in August, it was like I had wandered into some kind of enormous, ghostly labyrinth, and eventually— Before I knew it, I was standing in the dead center of a long, familiar corridor. I don’t want to say that I was led there by Izumi’s “ghost.” At the end of the day, she was nothing more than a phantom created by my own mind. Without thinking about it, I had sought out that hallway, which I knew had to lie somewhere on the third floor of the ward. Honestly, I’m not sure which explanation is easier to accept, but either way… I know this place. I had been there once before, after chasing Izumi’s specter back in August. This is—this hallway is… The hospital was made up of two sections: the “main building,” which combined the medical offices and the inpatient ward, and the “auxiliary building,” which housed the psychiatric and neurology departments. This was the corridor that joined the two. They connected on the first and third floors, and this was the third-floor passage… Of course, I knew that hospital room was ahead of me. I felt like I had to go there now. My thoughts were still muddled up, and though I was starting to put the pieces together, I couldn’t yet see the whole picture. Windows lined both sides of the passageway, but very little light shone through. Outside, it was still as dark as night, and on top of that, most of the lights were still out— The wind was flowing violently again. It blew without interruption, making a distinctive high-pitched scream. Like countless people wailing. I could also hear the sound of the rain. I wasn’t sure when it had started, but raindrops were battering the roof, walls, and windows with frightful force. However— In the moment, all those sounds seemed incredibly distant to my ears. Almost as if this hallway were an otherworldly tunnel that had been partitioned off from the rest of reality. I steadied my ragged breathing and began to press forward. As I advanced, a voice echoed through my head. It wasn’t Izumi’s. “Think, Sou.” This time, it was Mei who spoke. “Think and remember.” I continued on. …Thud. As if illuminated by flash bulbs, suddenly I recalled many different scenes that had taken place and remembered my own thoughts at those times. Ah, yes, this is like that strange sensation that came over me on that night in early July, when I was chasing Izumi’s fleeing ghost. …Thud. …April 21, Saturday. The day of my first visit to the “clinic” at this hospital since starting my third year of middle school. I’d already seen the doctor, and I was passing through the corridor, heading toward the lobby of the first floor of the main building, where the cashier’s window was located. The world had gone black for a second, along with a low, reverberating thud. But it was really only for an instant…and then the next moment, some information had surfaced in my memory. Since the beginning of April, one student in Class 3 had been continually absent because she was in the hospital—I didn’t know any of the details, but apparently, she needed to be hospitalized for a long time, so it was hard for her to attend school. That student was Makise… …What does this mean? An uncomfortable feeling swelled up suddenly in my mind. It is possible that my memories from that time have been…? …Thud. …Sunday, May 27. That evening, Izumi and I had spoken in my apartment. “You remember what happened at the ‘strategy session’ at the end of March, right?” she had asked. “When we decided who would be the ‘non-exister’ if this year turned out to be an ‘on year’?” Her words had spurred me to recall an earlier scene in March, when the class was discussing who would bear the burden of being the “non-exister.” I had raised my hand, and Etou had asked if that would be enough, and we had decided on adding a “second” that year. And then, after that, the rest of the class had held a lottery with those playing cards… “They drew lots with playing cards, right? That’s when Hazumi pulled the joker and it was decided that she was the ‘second,’ but… Okay, so think back. To before that.” Izumi had narrowed her almond-shaped eyes as if she was looking at something far away. “Before the lottery began, someone else tried to volunteer, right? In a small, quiet voice that everyone was a little surprised to hear. Why so suddenly? We all wondered…” When she’d said that, the scene in March more than two months prior had unfolded in my mind, as if revealing itself out of the darkness. That’s right—I had thought at the time. Something like that did happen. I had finally remembered that someone else, besides me, had volunteered to accept the role of the “non-exister,” and that I’d been a little surprised when they had… In the end, that person’s offer had been dismissed, and the lottery had been carried out as originally planned. And then Hazumi had drawn the card and become the “second non-exister,” but…the other student who had volunteered was Makise. Even when I had heard the name Makise, even when I had been reminded that we’d already met at the “strategy session,” I had never been able to clearly recall her face. She was a feeble, inconspicuous girl… That was all I had been able to remember at the time. Ah…this, too, could it be? These memories, could they also be…? Maybe… 16 As I continued onward, I thought back on other things. When I’d encountered her on August 8, Etou had been standing in front of the hospital room at the end of this very hallway, holding a modest bouquet of flowers. “I’m here to visit someone,” Etou had said. “She was in the hospital ward in the main building before, but they told me she switched rooms. The layout of this place is kind of confusing, so I got pretty lost before I finally found it.” And now, a familiar door, the door to that hospital room, was just ahead of me. I had passed through the corridor connecting the main building with the third level of the annex, where the psychiatric patients had once been housed. “Come on in.” I recalled hearing a girl’s voice from inside the room last time I was there. Right. I’m sure I’ve heard this voice before, I had thought at the time. It belongs to the girl I met at the “strategy session” in March… “Hiratsuka…Sou? I’m so glad you came.” I’d been drawn in by that voice, which had had a carefree quality despite its frailty, and entered the room after Etou, but— …Thud. When I did, a low reverberation came out of nowhere, and the “world” had gone black for just a moment… …Thud. I finally arrived in front of the hospital room. As I stood there staring at the unassuming cream-colored door, I thought. I tried to think. I wonder if she’s in this room right now? Or if she evacuated because of the uproar in the main building and isn’t here any longer? No, she’s here. Without any good reason, I felt certain of that. She’s here. I’m sure she’s still here. In that case, what should I—what should I do? I stood stock-still in that spot as the moments passed. I opened and closed my eyes several times and took a few deep breaths…and then I pulled out my cell phone. “Think, Sou. “Think and remember.” I was thinking, and probably in the process of remembering. The faint silhouette that was the cornerstone of the problem was coming into focus. However— I had no way to determine whether that shadow was real or phony. So… I gripped my phone with my right hand, sticky with my own blood. If only Mei were here, I thought. But that was an impossibility. It was a weekday, and at this time of day, she would still be in school. I wasn’t sure where she’d called me from earlier, but even if I sent her an SOS with my phone right now, she probably couldn’t get there in less than thirty minutes, or maybe an hour. “It’s no use,” I grumbled, adjusting my grip on my phone. As I did, inspiration struck. I’ll ring up Koichi Sakakibara. If I call him, maybe… I pulled up Koichi’s phone number from my address book and hit the call button with a prayer. Thankfully, this time the reception wasn’t bad. After several rings— “Hello, Sou?” Koichi picked up. “What’s the matter? Is something…?” “Sorry for calling you suddenly,” I interjected. “Just answer my questions without asking anything back. Please.” “What…the heck?” He sounded surprised and bewildered. No surprise there. “I heard something from Misaki about you having trouble again?” “Sakakibara. Regardless of what you heard, I need you to answer the questions I’m about to ask. Please.” “Hmm? Okay, got it.” “They have to do with what happened three years ago.” Straining to keep control over my voice, I tried to sound as reserved and dispassionate as possible as I posed my questions. “Three years ago—do you remember the name of Mei’s twin sister, who passed away in April of 1998? Can you recall it?” At the moment, I couldn’t remember what it was. Even though I was certain that Mei had told it to me that night in June, when she’d come to visit my apartment and shared her “life story,” I could not produce that name, no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t sure when I’d forgotten it. I had no way to confirm it at the moment, but I suspected that Mei herself was in the same situation… But if I ask Koichi, I think he might remember. He’d been “out of range” for a long time, far from Yomiyama. Plus, he bore the special distinction of being the person who had returned the “casualty” to “death” three years earlier. That meant he had the unique privilege of retaining his memories of the “extra person” even after everyone else had forgotten them. He seemed to remember more than most when it came to the “phenomenon” and “calamity” of three years ago. Koichi Sakakibara was the one. “Mei Misaki’s younger twin sister, who was originally the daughter of the Fujioka family. That April, she died in the hospital… I remember her, Sou.” I wondered whether he sensed anything unusual in my behavior. Koichi answered my question without interrogating me about the reason behind it. “Her name was Misaki.” “Ah…” “Misaki, spelled with the ‘mi’ from the word for future and the ‘saki’ from the word for flowers blooming. Misaki Fujioka.” I pulled my phone away from my ear and lowered my voice. “Oh…” My eyes fell on the nameplate hanging beside the door to the hospital. The patient’s full name was written there in sharp, angular letters. It said MISAKI MAKISE. 17 “Hiratsuka…Sou? I’m so glad you came.” A memory from the afternoon of August 8 played back in my mind, the day when I had just so happened to run into Etou, and she’d insisted that I go with her to this very hospital room. There had been a single bed in the dreary, spacious room. A girl had turned to greet us, still lying on the bed—Misaki Makise. Etou placed a flower bouquet on a small table near the window. I had been surprised to see a sturdy-looking iron lattice fitted over the window…perhaps as a relic leftover from when this room was part of the psychiatric ward. Actually, it wasn’t until I saw the lattice that I had finally realized that this was a room in the annex, which was connected to the rest of the hospital by a passageway. “In the end, I wasn’t helpful at all.” She had sounded lonely when she spoke. At Izumi’s suggestion, Makise had volunteered to replace Hazumi as the “second non-exister,” but it hadn’t amounted to anything, so… “That’s not true,” I remembered answering. “But still, I couldn’t do anything…” “That’s not true,” I remembered repeating. “Besides, it’s all right now. There’s no longer any need to worry about the ‘calamity.’” “Really?” Makise had raised her voice somewhat as she asked but continued lying where she was, sideways in the bed. “Is that really true?” I had been standing a little far from the bed, so I hadn’t been able to see her face clearly. But on the edge of the nightstand, something had caught my eye, glinting silver as it swayed. A cell phone strap. The strap had dangled off the side of the table where her phone sat…and I had seen that silver mascot before. The design was based on a famous mythological creature from Okinawa. It was a shisa, the same as the souvenir Mei had brought me from her school trip…and that was when I’d had a realization. I almost let out a gasp, then quietly approached the bed. “The ‘calamity’ is over.” That’s what I had said before taking a good look at the face of the girl who turned to glance at me— I remembered being shocked. The girl before me had been awfully gaunt, and with different hair, but her face had been almost identical to Mei’s. They definitely could have been related. But that couldn’t have been the first time I had noticed the resemblance…because I had also met her at the March “strategy session.” Surely, back then I had also seen her face and noticed her resemblance to Mei. Then I’d recalled that yes, I had seen her and noticed that before. Simultaneously, I had also remembered spotting Kirika at the hospital several times. Only it wasn’t actually her. The woman I had seen was Mei’s birth mother, Mitsuyo. Her surname had been Fujioka once, but two years earlier she had divorced, then remarried and moved into a house nearby, which was one of the reasons why she had started occasionally reaching out to Mei that spring. Then a thought had crossed my mind. Maybe the surname of Mitsuyo’s new husband was “Makise”? And…that’s why this girl in the hospital is named “Misaki Makise”? Because she also changed her name when her mother got married, from “Fujioka” to “Makise.” She must have moved as well, over to this part of town, and transferred to North Yomi for middle school… Mitsuyo has been coming here because her daughter has been hospitalized since April. She’s not coming to receive medical treatment herself; she’s visiting her daughter. Could that be what’s going on? Besides the twin sister who died three years ago, Mei also has a sister who is three years younger than her. I heard that from someone once. This girl—Misaki Makise, I’m almost certain she’s Mei’s “younger sister by three years.” That was what I’d thought when I had visited her room. And at the time, it had seemed completely true to me. The fact that she had the same shisa phone strap as the one I’d received from Mei had been almost enough to convince me. But at the time, I hadn’t said anything to Makise herself to confirm my suspicions. For some reason, I had hesitated to bring it up the first time I’d visited her hospital room. Even then, though, something had been weighing on my mind. I had been thinking about how unnatural Mei’s speech and conduct had been on that crucial day in July. The question had been bothering me ever since Izumi had returned to “death” and disappeared— —on July the 5th. It had rained all day that day. By the time Mei called me, the sun was already started to set. The moment I had heard her voice, I’d known immediately that something was wrong. Mei definitely seemed different somehow. She had always been standoffish, never one to let her feelings show. But as soon as I’d heard her voice, I could tell that her composure was broken. …On that phone call, Mei had said to me: “We have to hurry. That’s what I was thinking, and I…” Then she had asked me if I had “a photo that shows as many members of your class as possible.” When I had replied that I had the group picture taken on the day of the entrance ceremony, she had asked: “I don’t suppose you could come show it to me now?” Per her request, I had immediately set out for the “Blue Eyes Empty to All, in the Twilight of Yomi” gallery where she was waiting, carrying the photo, but… Her voice and mannerisms that night had seemed agitated and desperate. I had never seen Mei act like that before. But after her phone call with Koichi in Mexico, Mei seemed to have lost her conviction and resolve to use the “power” of her “doll’s eye” and return the “casualty” to “death,” and maybe that was why… That night, we had used Mei’s “doll’s eye” to determine that Izumi was the “casualty,” and the two of us had chased her down and returned her to “death.” That should have ended the “calamity” for the year—that’s what we had believed at the time. But— Even after it was finished, questions had continued to weigh on my mind. Why had Mei rushed me like that? Why had she seemed so impatient? “Why are you in such a hurry tonight?” I remembered asking Mei the question directly. But her answer was: “…I don’t know why.” “You don’t know why…you’re in such a hurry?” I had asked her again. And her answer was: “I have a bad feeling…” At the time, it had felt like Mei was hiding something. Something had definitely seemed off about the way she was talking. Maybe—an idea struck me. Maybe, that day, Mei—maybe July 5 was actually when Mei learned that her little sister, Misaki Makise, was a member of Grade 3 Class 3 at North Yomi? She hadn’t known before then. Her mother, Mitsuyo, may have told her that Makise was ill, and Mei had said she even went to see her in the hospital, but the topic of school and her sister’s class had never come up. They hadn’t talked about it at all, not about her transfer to North Yomi or about the special circumstance of Grade 3 Class 3, nothing. However, on that day—on July 5—maybe that was when Mei had finally found out the truth. I didn’t know how it all went down, but she’d probably heard it from Makise herself. That was the reason why. That was why Mei was acting like that… In my memories, I discovered the answer to a question that had been bothering me for a long time, an answer that I could confirm with another recollection. …Mid-August, after our dinosaur-film-festival outing— I had left Yagisawa after the movie and dropped by the doll gallery on the way home. In that familiar basement space, I had prepared myself and then started that conversation with Mei. I laid out the facts as I had witnessed them, plus my own thoughts about what was going on, and listened to Mei’s explanations, then confirmed how various things fit together… On July 5, Mei had indeed learned that her younger sister by three years, Misaki Makise, had transferred into North Yomi, and moreover, that she was a member of Grade 3 Class 3. The news caught her off guard, and she panicked. After all, if her sister was in my class, that meant that Mei herself could be a victim of the “calamity,” as well as her biological mother, Mitsuyo, since they were both “related individuals.” I’m sure that Mei was most concerned about her younger sister, though. The fact that she hadn’t known any of this had come as a great shock. So she’d panicked. And that evening, driven by the thought that she had to stop the “calamity” as soon as possible, she had called me… “Oh…” Without realizing it, I let out another noise. I was still staring at the nameplate that read MISAKI MAKISE. I extended a hand toward the door of the hospital room. When I had visited this room on August 8, I had met Makise and then realized, remembered, and registered—I had awakened to a whole series of facts and memories and the connections among them. All of them were actually part of a “false reality” that had been altered or invented by the “phenomenon.” Is that what’s been going on? Is that really it? My hand reached the knob. It felt unpleasantly cold. Without knocking, I opened the door. 18 It was even gloomier in the room than it had been in the hallway. All the lights were out. But even though it was as dark as night, there was still a tiny bit of light coming from the window. I could just barely make out the inside of the room via that faint illumination. The bed stood stark and pale against the darkness. And I could see a figure of a girl lying on it. The girl on the bed didn’t move at all, even when I entered the room. Maybe she was sleeping. Or maybe… Despite the chaos going on in the hospital, the girl had been left here on her own. That was certainly unusual, no matter how far her room was from the main building. Everything seemed too contrived, like the setup for a cruel game being played by some entity outside our world… It gave me chills to think about. Outside, the wind howled and the rain pummeled the ground ceaselessly. But the noise seemed far away somehow, as though the corridor that had brought me to this room had also taken me to another plane of reality. I took two or three steps toward the bed, trying not to make any noise. She was lying there faceup, with her eyes closed. I could see her chest slowly rising and falling. In the end, I’ve been asleep this whole time, too… But now that I’m here, what should I do…? “Sou.” That was when I heard a voice. It didn’t come from the girl on the bed. The owner of the voice was somewhere behind me. She had been standing in the shadow of the open door, so I hadn’t noticed her at all. “Ah…!” I nearly screamed when I saw who it was in the semidarkness. It was an awful surprise. Though I was quickly relieved to see— “…Mei?” Standing there was Mei Misaki. She was wearing her high school uniform. And over her left eye was a white patch… “Ah…um…” Keeping my voice down, I said, “Earlier, you called me…” “Mm-hmm.” “Was that…from here?” “Yes. I heard about the mass transportation to the hospital, so I thought maybe that meant you were here, too. I was worried that you might have gotten caught up in everything going on. We got cut off right away…but I’m glad you’re safe.” “Um…don’t we need to evacuate?” “This room is far away from everything, so I think we’re okay,” Mei said as if it was no concern, taking a step toward me. I asked, “When did you get here?” “Quite a while ago.” Did she cut class? Or maybe she slipped out partway through the day. “Mitsuyo came to see her today, too. But she already left.” She stayed in the hospital room even after Mitsuyo left, and…? “You called Sakakibara, didn’t you?” Mei asked. “Just now, in front of the room. I heard you. And I understand why you called him.” “…All right.” Mei stared at me. She was very close. “So?” she continued. “What did Sakakibara say?” “Um, he…” “My twin, who died in this hospital in April three years ago. What did he say her name was?” As I suspected, Mei can’t remember her name, either. With a crushing feeling in my chest, I answered, “Misaki… He said her name was Misaki Fujioka. That was the name that Sakakibara remembered.” Even when she heard that, there was no conspicuous change in Mei’s expression. “I see.” She nodded slightly. “I knew it,” she mumbled softly, as if saying it to herself. Then she looked over at the bed where Misaki Makise was sleeping. Watching her, I asked quietly, “When did you realize?” “Last Saturday, after I talked to you,” Mei answered dispassionately. “Back then, when I said I ‘didn’t know,’ that was the truth. But something was bothering me a little…” Sure enough, Mei had said something like that. She had told me about feeling sort of strange or uncomfortable. “It was all about the balance of ‘power,’ right? Like Akazawa said.” Mei inhaled deeply, then took a step toward the bed. “Akazawa returned to ‘death’ in July, but the ‘calamity’ didn’t stop. Why…?” Mei mumbled the question, as if to herself, but I answered. “Because there was more than one ‘casualty.’ And that was almost certainly because we added a second ‘non-exister’ to the ‘countermeasures’ this year. In doing so, we destroyed the balance, and a ‘power’ moved to correct it. The ‘second casualty,’ who appeared in the middle of everything, was…” As I spoke, I was working it all out in my head. I figured that Mei had gone to see Hazumi because she was searching for the “second casualty.” When she had looked with her “doll’s eye” at that group photo of the class that I brought her on the evening of July 5, she had identified Izumi as a “casualty,” but not every member of the class was present in that photo, which had been taken the day of the entrance ceremony. There were three students who weren’t there. One of the three was me, since I had accepted the role of a “non-exister,” and one of them was Hazumi, the “second non-exister.” And the last was Makise, who was absent because she had already been hospitalized. In my case, Mei had used her “doll’s eye” on me early on and confirmed that I was not the “casualty,” so that left Hazumi and Makise. She went to see Hazumi first. She met her, looked at her with the “doll’s eye,” and checked whether she was a “casualty”… As usual, Mei seemed to see straight through my thoughts, and she added, “I didn’t see the ‘color of death’ around Hazumi. So that meant the only one left was this girl. That was my thinking.” She closed her right eye and paused briefly. “That’s what I thought, but I also thought it couldn’t possibly be… I couldn’t make up my mind right away.” That’s only natural. It’s understandable. But…despite that, today, Mei must have made up her mind, resolved herself in some way, and come here alone. “Have you checked yet?” I asked. “Have you looked with the ‘doll’s eye’ already?” Mei nodded silently, then abruptly removed her eye patch. With the figure of the sleeping Makise reflected in the exposed “doll’s eye,” the “blue eye, empty to all,” she said, “After Mitsuyo went home…she wasn’t sleeping yet, but I looked at her like this.” “Did you see it? The ‘color of death’?” “I did. I see it now, too. Clearly.” “So…” “But still, I hesitated,” Mei admitted, sounding anguished but stubbornly quiet. “I kept on second-guessing myself; I was really perplexed. Was this girl really a ‘casualty’? Did I even have a sister three years younger than me in the first place? Were my memories false? Did ‘false memories’ really exist? …I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.” Mei approached the hospital bed. I stayed where I was, dumbstruck. On the table beside the bed, there was a fruit basket, which Mitsuyo had probably brought with her on her visit today. Beside the basket was a stack of several white plates. And beside the plates was a paring knife. “Thank you, Sou.” Mei stopped walking and glanced back at me. “Thank you for calling Sakakibara. And for asking him about her name.” She turned back toward the bed and took the blade in her right hand. In my mind I was shouting at her, but my throat seized up, and nothing came out— “The only younger sister I have is the half of me who died three years ago—Misaki Fujioka. I never had a sister three years younger than me…” I could barely understand her murmuring. “…which means that you don’t exist.” Gripping the knife with both hands, Mei leaned over Misaki Makise where she slept. My mind screamed at her to relent. Part of me wanted to do something, to rush over and stop her, but another part was holding me back, refusing to let me move an inch. In the end, I did nothing. The knife swung down straight at Makise’s chest. There was a dull sound. I saw a dark stain begin to spread out across the bed. Makise opened her eyes. She looked surprised, but she didn’t try to resist. She didn’t let out a single groan. Like a doll that had already lost its “life.” Like one of those girls on display at the “Blue Eyes…” gallery, laid out on a deep-crimson bed. Mei pulled the knife out and then immediately drove the bloodstained blade into Makise’s throat. For a second, I thought I saw an expression like a faint smile pass over Makise’s face, but it might have been my imagination. At the same moment, her lips trembled slightly, and she looked like she was trying to say something. However— Mei did not relent. She sliced through the blood vessels at the base of Makise’s pale throat, severing the thread of her false life. Without hesitation. Without mercy.