“Such a pioneering spirit. I could learn a thing or two from you.”
He seemed a bit old to be changing his ways now, but I didn’t dare say the words out loud.
“Um...you wouldn’t suddenly attack me or do anything like that, would you?” I asked.
“No need to worry about that. As you can see, I’m just here people-watching,” he chuckled.
And boy, what an evil chuckle it was. It sounded like a chattering skull, and it scared the crap outta me. I felt like there were way too many horror elements in Freida lately. Well, part of that was because I’d walked toward them on my own, but still.
“Do you really expect me to not worry when you have that evil-looking aura coming out of you?” I asked.
“What am I to do? This is who I am. No one can choose what they are born to be.”
“That’s true, but still...”
“No need to sit so far, young man. Come closer,” he said.
“Actually, I’m a bit timid, so I try not to go places that are too intense for me,” I replied.
“You joke. If you’d been truly timid, you would’ve fainted before uttering a word to me.”
“Oh, in that case, I’d rather go with that. Ahhh, I’m getting lightheaded...” I said, staggering around unsteadily.
“Why do you insist on categorizing yourself as a coward?” asked the old man, baffled.
I didn’t live for vanity like some other Divers, so I didn’t care one bit about being called timid or a coward. Where there was life, there was hope. Staying alive was more important than anything else.
Anyway, I didn’t sense any ill will from this old man, so I figured he was safe. I could feel his evil energy radiating like crazy, but he wasn’t setting off my bad-guy sensor, which was why I’d decided to interact with him in the first place. There was one thing that I had to ask, though.
“Um, by the way, I won’t be cursed or anything by talking to you, will I?”
“Unfortunately, you already are,” he said. “Once you talk to me, you must find three others who can see me and have them talk to me as well. Otherwise, misfortune will follow you.”
“Now hold on just a minute,” I said. “Haven’t your teachers at school told you not to write chain letters?”
“Hmm? So something similar already exists, huh. Then let’s make it ten instead of three—”
“That’s even worse! How badly do you wanna curse me, huh?!”
The old man laughed. “Jokes aside, let us talk for a while. It’s been quite some time since I’ve had someone to talk to since no one can even see me.”
“Wait, does that mean I look like a weirdo talking to myself right now?” I asked.
“Indeed, you poor, pathetic young man. I shed tears of pity for you.”
“This is your fault!” I pointed out, and the old man chuckled creepily again.
I looked around and noticed no one was looking at either me or the old man, nor did they seem to realize we were chatting. It was as if we’d been pulled into a strange dimension created by the old man.
“Why can’t anyone see us, anyway?” I asked.
“Because I made it so,” he explained. “Though, you seem to be able to see me, for some reason.”
For a moment, I thought he should just undo whatever spell was making him invisible to others, but then I realized the entire guild would be sent into a panic if he did. It would’ve been total chaos if an old man emitting such a dreadfully evil aura suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
“What are you doing here, anyway? Are you watching for an opportunity to take down the Divers Guild or something?” I asked.
“Yes, that’s exactly it. I lurk here day and night, observing the guild’s movements so I can show them a nightmare like they’ve never seen,” he said with an evil laugh.
“You know, mister, you pass the vibe check,” I said.
“Don’t you think so? I was once serious to a fault, but a subordinate once told me, ‘You can be quite the buzzkill, Your Highness.’ That stung me. So ever since then, I’ve made it a point to go along whenever others joke around. After all, it’s all over if your subordinates give up on you. A one-man show will eventually lead to ruins.”
“Being a leader sounds like hard work,” I said.
“It truly is. Now, I get to enjoy a comfortable retirement life,” said the old man.
His story sounded like one of hardship you’d find anywhere. In fact, I was sure these struggles existed in every world. Working at the bottom was tough, but being at the top had its own problems too.
“So you really aren’t up to no good?” I asked.
“That’s right. I may not look it, but I’m a pacifist. I’m not a fan of violence, to tell you the truth.”
“Yeah, that isn’t very convincing at all,” I said. “You either sit in some luxurious chair in a giant castle at the end of the world with a horde of monsters under your command, or you’re a super evil madman who conducts secret experiments in an underground lair at the corner of some major city, or you’re a supernatural being who lived a thousand years. Something like that, right? You’ve probably offered half the world in a deal with someone before.”
He chuckled.
“Hey, don’t just laugh! You were supposed to deny that. Which one was right? Come on, seriously,” I said.
“All of that aside, I truly am telling the truth when I say I mean no harm. I simply enjoy being here,” he said.
“What? Just sitting here and watching Divers?” I asked.
“Exactly. Watching the relationships between humans is quite entertaining, and I simply can’t get enough of absorbing the envy and resentment that seep out from time to time.”
“I was kind of on board with you in the first half, but the second half was kind of crazy.”
He really was evil. Absorbing such negative energies sounded really out-there. Though, that reminded me of a time when Hiro had beaten up someone like him before.
So anyway, that was how I’d gotten to know an evil yet silly old man. But then there was still the most important issue of all: the Slime-Favored Jelly or Jelly-Flavored Slime or whatever it was. Not to worry, this wouldn’t conclude with a tragic ending where my body was dissolved from the inside out.
“Thanks for the meal,” I said to the lady serving the food. “To be honest, it didn’t taste very good. Actually, it didn’t taste like anything at all, which I think is an even greater crime.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” the lady laughed.
I felt like I’d eaten unflavored konjac or tokoroten. And why did she laugh when I told her the food wasn’t good? I wished the people working there put effort into cooking. Seriously. It was their fault there were always people on the brink of death even though they hadn’t even dived into the dungeon. They really needed to consider their roles in these things.