It’d happened back when I’d first joined the guild. I’d been trying to not get in everyone else’s way as I’d hung around the entrance, thinking about what to do for the day. I’d looked around for my drunkard friend number one or my food-loving friend number two so we could kill some time chatting or something.
Just then, I overheard the members of a Diver Team, who were standing around nearby, talking.
“I heard a new item was added to the dining hall menu.”
“For real? It’s been a while. What was the last one they added again?”
“Grapenut and Honey Pudding.”
“That sounds pretty decent for an item on the dining hall menu. Adorners will be all over that.”
“You’re right, and it’s sold out. I heard they’re looking for a new supplier. Anyway, word on the street is that the new item is a dessert too. They’re probably trying to ride the popularity of the pudding with this one.”
“I hope it’s good. Please let it be good.”
The last comment almost sounded like a prayer, but I knew how they felt. I wished whoever made these menu items taste-tested them first. They really should have a trial run with a test kitchen or make their superiors try them. The bottom rung always got the short end of the stick, but I didn’t want to see that being true in a fantasy world too. It was completely reckless of them to put their untested dishes out into the world and use Divers as guinea pigs. This was why the food in the dining hall was considered one of the first trials that new Divers must face when working in Freida. Supposedly, it was a way of filtering out the weak. That was one way to put it.
I had little hope for the new menu item, but I peeked into the guild dining hall anyway out of curiosity. There, I saw the name of the item that people had been buzzing about: Jelly-Flavored Slime.
I was at a loss for words. What was with that awful name? It had similar vibes as poop-flavored curry or curry-flavored poop. First of all, “jelly” didn’t have its own flavor. And were they literally trying to feed us slimes? I had so many questions. They should’ve gotten administrative guidance for not adhering to the Act against Unjustifiable Premiums and Misleading Representations and for trying to make the dish sound better by unnecessarily adding “Jelly-Flavored” to its name.
In this world, the word “slime” inevitably reminded me of Pop Slimes, which were giant amoebic creatures that immobilized Divers with poison, then melted and absorbed them, which sounded awfully scary. And no, it wouldn’t end up like a pervy manga scene if a girl got caught by one. I always wiped them out right away, but I’d heard anyone who got absorbed by a Pop Slime had their flesh dissolved until their bones became fully visible. It was pretty gruesome.
Were the folks at the dining hall trying to feed us such a monstrosity? Sure, they already served outrageous things like Nasty Soup and Mystery Steak, but this one really took the cake. I had a feeling that it’d melt me from the inside out if I’d eaten it. I truly hoped it wasn’t actually made of Pop Slimes...but I was gonna buy it anyway.
“Excuse me, I’d like to try the new item,” I said to the lady at the counter.
“You really aren’t afraid of trying out new things, are you, Akira?” she said.
“I’m a Diver after all. But wait, you probably shouldn’t be selling things that make even Divers tremble in fear,” I said, making her laugh out loud. “By the way, this stuff isn’t made of Pop Slimes, is it? This isn’t one of those cases like how people detox poisonous mushrooms with hot water or pickle blowfish ovaries to make them edible, right?”
The lady laughed again. This really wasn’t a laughing matter. It was fine, though. Life was all about taking on challenges—though I strongly recommended sticking to the non-life-threatening kind. Since this slime was being served as food, it had to be edible at the very least. I had to give it a try.
I had no idea what this Jelly-Flavored Slime would taste like. Driven by sheer curiosity, I opened Pandora’s box. At first glance, it just looked like colorless, clear jelly. The lack of color made me think it’d be flavorless too, but that probably wasn’t the case. Probably. I’d soon find out if this was as foolish as tickling a dragon’s tail. I’d defeated giant zombie monsters that appeared on the same floor as Pop Slimes, but as I sat my butt down on the chair, I fearfully prayed my spoon wouldn’t turn into a flathead screwdriver.
Then, out of nowhere, something incredibly disturbing appeared in the corner of my vision. There, casually sitting at a corner table with his cane, was a dreadfully evil being. He looked like an ordinary old man you’d find just about anywhere, except that a dense evil aura emanated from him, and the parts of his eyes where the whites were supposed to be were completely black. He looked absolutely terrifying; a nurarihyon from Japanese folklore looked cute in comparison, not that I’d ever seen one in real life. Not to mention, he seemed to be only visible to me for some reason. No one even noticed the entity, whose appearance was like a visual sledgehammer, but they all naturally avoided sitting in the seat he occupied. This was bad. Seriously. He seemed on par with Sensei on the scale of “beings I don’t want to mess with.”
“Can you see me, young one?” asked a voice.
The question was probably directed at me. We’d met eyes for a second, but I’d immediately looked away. My only option here was to act like I’d never noticed. This was one of those horrors where I couldn’t let him find out that I could see him.
I saw nothing. I saw nothing. I saw nothing.
“You can see me, can’t you?” asked the old man again.
“No, not at all,” I said. “Not even a little bit. Come on, there’s no way I can see a super-evil-looking old man.”
“I don’t see how you could’ve replied if you hadn’t noticed me.”
“Ahhh! Ahhh! I’m hearing things! I’m hearing things that aren’t real!” I shouted as I repeatedly tapped my ears with the palms of my hands.
Maybe I was being too obvious, but the old man just stared at me the entire time. I didn’t know what he found so interesting about me. I had a totally average face that wasn’t particularly handsome or cute. Surely, I didn’t look like I’d taste good.
I figured I’d be too distracted to eat my slime or jelly or whatever it was with him staring at me, so I moved a bit closer to him.
“You’re quite brave to willingly try the new items here,” said the old man.
“Well, I wouldn’t call it bravery. It’s more like a duty for someone who came here in search of good food,” I replied.