But Luo Binghe was unreservedly immersed in Shang Qinghua’s account. “I’m still not clingy enough?” he muttered. “Still?”
Shang Qinghua babbled nonstop. “Clinginess is the main tactic, but aside from this absolute truth, there’s another terribly important angle you must consider. Gentlemen must understand that women’s love comes from admiration, and men’s from a desire to protect. The matter of women we will not discuss for now; I am convinced no woman could resist being subdued by my lord’s peerless and godly strength, his elegant manner that defies the heavens, and his sincere affection, so we will reserve ourselves to the other case. If you—ah, no, my lord—if my lord wants a man to understand his true intentions, and furthermore, to respond in kind, then what ought my lord do? It’s quite simple. No man doesn’t wish for a weak, lovable, and docile partner. And what do I mean by lovable? Lovable means some person or thing that can evoke a heart’s tenderest affections, so a partner must unquestionably be most obedient, most…”
Bullshit and flattery flowed forth in equal measure, and the crowd in the hall peered at Luo Binghe, seated high above them. His face was gloomy, his pupils glowing red, and a murderous aura surged beneath the surface, painting a most vivid picture of untouchability (a.k.a. discontent). The distance between him and the words “weak, cute, docile, and obedient” was practically a bottomless chasm.
Sha Hualing couldn’t resist letting out a scoff.
Shang Qinghua hurriedly shut his mouth.
Luo Binghe rubbed his temple. “Continue.”
Having been given official approval, Shang Qinghua continued to explain. “I’ll take Shen Qingqiu as an example,” he said, brimming with ill intent. “This guy, you know, he’s a straight man… Oh, what does ‘straight man’ mean? Well, a straight man is a normal man—obviously I’m not saying you aren’t normal, my lord. Rather, he very much values his dignity as a master and teacher. And teachers, they all like students who do as they’re told, so if you want him to like you, the first step would be to listen to him and be good…”
The hall full of demons and beasts was practically scared stiff by his brazenness.
“Impudence!” Sha Hualing snapped. “You mean to have my lord p-p-pretend to be piteous and obediently listen to him? My lord is the grand ruler of the Demon Realm—how could he do such a shameless thing?!”
That’s right, that’s precisely what I mean! Sha-sha, turn around and take a look at the thoughtful expression on your lord’s face. Does he look like he thinks this sort of thing is shameless?
Impassioned and vehement, his mouth running like a torrent from the heavens down to earth, Shang Qinghua concluded his twenty-minute-long romantic consultation. Sha Hualing had already throttled him to death with her eyes ten million times, and as soon as Luo Binghe left, Shang Qinghua hurriedly moved over to Mobei-Jun’s side, pressing close to seek protection.
Mobei-Jun looked askance at him. “So, if you want to be liked by a man, the best method is to act pathetic?”
Shang Qinghua thought about it. “In theory, that would be correct.”
Mobei-Jun reached out his hand.
Thinking he was about to be beaten up again, Shang Qinghua hurriedly put his hands over his head. But the pain he expected never arrived. Mobei-Jun only lightly tapped him on the top of his head.
Afterward, seemingly in a bit of a good mood, he got up and started walking out of the assembly hall.
Though Shang Qinghua was confused, he couldn’t handle Sha Hualing staring at him from the side, her fiery gaze like that of a tiger eyeing its prey, so he hurried to catch up, taking three steps for every two.
— PART 4 —
IN THE END, it was still a whole ruckus.
As Shang Qinghua had planned in his outline, Mai Gu Ridge exploded into a mass of flying sand and countless pieces of rubble, with roiling smoke and clouds of billowing dust.
Moreover, he performed a heroic feat on the way and saved Mobei-Jun, who didn’t know how to fly.
When he grabbed that hand of Mobei-Jun’s in midair, Shang Qinghua could clearly see the astonished disbelief in his eyes. Understandable. Mobei-Jun undoubtedly held the firm belief that Shang Qinghua hung by his side solely to protect his own pathetic little life, and the human’s sole uses were, at most: flattery, boasting about him, and a target for venting his anger or whatnot. And, if they ever met any real danger, Shang Qinghua would definitely be the first to run to save his own ass. To be honest, Shang Qinghua himself had also held this firm belief. He dared say he was even more astonished, even more disbelieving than Mobei-Jun.
Ever since then, perhaps because he had earned merit protecting his master and had performed well, his wages, material benefits, treatment, and so forth had all improved, and he was also permitted to return to Cang Qiong Mountain and visit his old home.
Yue Qingyuan, that great philanthropist, let all bygones be bygones and even permitted him to return to An Ding Peak, as well as to continue holding the title of peak lord. These past few days in the Leisure House, Shang Qinghua had, for the first time, truly been leisurely—to the point of agitation.
After munching on half a kilogram of melon seeds, he suddenly realized that the System hadn’t made a peep in quite a while. For once, Shang Qinghua took the initiative to poke it.
The System gave him an earth-shattering response:【 Objective completed. Downloading Return Home function. 】
Shang Qinghua was speechless.
After a moment, he began to furiously shake the System’s (nonexistent) shoulders. “Objective completed?! Return Home function?! What Return Home function?! Is it the one I’m thinking of? Huh? O Great System, this is the first time you’ve said so many words—can you say a few more?! I’m begging you, quick!”
【 Basic completion of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s original outline achieved (slight deviation in romance plotline); objective complete. Retrieving function to return to original world; download complete. Activate Return Home sequence? 】
Basic completion of the original outline? That he agreed with. All the holes that needed to be filled had been filled. But this “slight deviation of romance plot” wasn’t quite right. Bing-ge was now fully gay; how could you say that was a “slight deviation”? Ah, fine, fine, in fact, in his original outline, Bing-ge hadn’t even had a romance plotline; he had been doomed to fade away, alone and unaging forever. If you insisted on adding a romance plotline, all right, that was whatever, so putting aside all the System’s rambling…this meant he could return to his original world?!