“Asada, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
The next day before class, Sousuke Andou showed up in front of my desk. I heard someone sipping on a nearly empty juice box from the seat behind me.
Andou was a cheerful guy and easily one of the most popular kids in class. He was on the soccer team and really energetic. That was why most everyone in our grade liked him.
But he only ever talked to me about school stuff. I got along well enough in class, and the two of us sat near each other, so we’d talk if we needed to, but he’d never gone out of his way to come over and chat with me before.
I already knew what he was going to say, though. I was certain it had to do with the text that Odajima had sent me the day before.
Andou was fidgeting as he stood in front of me.
“Do you know Mizuno? She’s in Class Three.”
I knew it.
I wasn’t expecting this to happen so soon, but since Ai had come into the classroom the other day to talk to me, perhaps it was inevitable.
“Yeah, we met in junior high.” I nodded, and Andou hummed vaguely and shot me a sidelong glance.
“So you two aren’t dating or anything, right?” he asked directly.
I smiled wryly and shook my head. “No, we’re not dating.”
The moment those words left my mouth, someone kicked the back of my chair. It was clearly Odajima, who sat behind me, but I ignored her.
Andou looked restless as he leaned over and whispered to me, “Mizuno’s supercute, right? If she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I think I’m gonna go after her.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve seen her talking to you several times, though, so I wanted to check first.”
“Yeah. There’s…nothing going on between us.”
As I spoke, Odajima kicked my chair twice. I frowned and turned to face her. “What?” I glared at her, but not to be outdone, she glared right back at me.
“…Tch.” It seemed like she wanted to say something, but instead she just clicked her tongue.
I sighed and turned back to Andou. “There’s nothing going on between us, but I think you’ll have a hard time trying to date her,” I said.
Maybe he could handle it, but I had a hard time picturing the two of them together. Then again, maybe people thought the same thing when they saw the two of us.
Andou’s eyes widened. “Why?” he asked simply.
I’d said something pretty cocky, but he didn’t seem to care about that. He appeared genuinely interested in what I meant.
“Because I don’t think…Mizuno’s really that interested in dating,” I said, feeling a lump in my throat. Am I sure about that? Doubt ran through my head.
The Ai I knew was free-spirited and always acted on her feelings.
“I love you, Yuzuru.”
I could almost hear her voice saying those words in my ear again. Goose bumps popped up on my skin.
That’s right—she always did exactly what she wanted. But didn’t that make everything she did, everything she said, her truth?
Because in that case…
“Hm? What’s up?”
My gaze had fallen down to my desk, and Andou waved his hand in front of my face, bringing me back to reality.
“Oh, um. I’m fine,” I said. “Anyway, I think it’ll be tough to have a romantic relationship with Mizuno.” At last, I remembered what I’d wanted to say.
He said, “Oh…,” and then smiled. “But it’s kinda thrilling and fun to make a girl who’s hard to get fall for you, right?”
My jaw dropped. There was a kind of sparkle in what he was saying—something I lacked. And the intensity of it was overwhelming.
“O-oh. Well, good luck.”
“Yeah, thanks!” Andou grinned at me and then walked away. I learned back in my chair and sighed deeply.
If only I were as optimistic as he was. Maybe then things between Ai and me would’ve turned out differently.
“…You’re such an idiot,” Odajima muttered behind me. I pretended not to hear her.
I felt so pathetic.
Before I knew it, school was over for the day.
I’d taken notes in class but barely remembered anything about what we’d covered. I copied down what was written on the board and answered questions that were asked of me, but I’d been spacing out the whole day.
Andou was the kind of guy who always followed through on what he said. I had a feeling he’d ask Ai out on a date fairly soon and start trying to get closer to her.
I wondered what Ai would do.
Of course, it wasn’t any of my business.
The day before, I’d kept telling myself that over and over again, and now it weighed heavily on my heart.
Ai and I had dated in the past, but we wouldn’t have a relationship in the future. I felt like my past with her was a burden I wanted to escape from. That was why I’d rejected her—why I’d turned down a relationship with her.
I thought that I’d feel better afterward. But now I was fixated on how I’d broken up with her. I was just going around in circles. Despite everything I said, I probably still loved her. And there was nothing more pathetic than that.
I shoved my textbooks and notebooks into my book bag and stood up.
On days like this, I wanted to forget about everything and lose myself in a book in some quiet room. I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to focus on my reading, but it was better than sitting there helplessly thinking about the same thing over and over.
I was just about to leave the classroom when Odajima, who was also packing up her bag, tugged on my sleeve. “Wait. I’m coming with you.”
I felt my face stiffen. I just knew she was going to nag me again.