This is something I can do for both of them.
Hinami heard the door open and shut with a clunk. She jumped to her feet from the sofa, where she had been lying down. While she’d been waiting, she’d been thinking about a lot of things. She must be lonely and sad too. Just like me. Hinami was at a loss as to how to fill this hole. But when we’re together she seems a little distracted.
“Touka!” Hinami exclaimed, clinging to Touka, who had just come out of her room. She buried her head in her chest. Touka gave her hair a stroke. Hinami looked up and saw that Touka was quietly smiling.
“What’s up with you, Hinami?” Touka said, and gave her a worried look. Concealing her own emotions, her face was one of pure concern for Hinami. “Wanna play a game?” she said, and went into the living room.
Hinami watched her walk off and started twisting her own shirt in her hands.
✦ ✦ ✦
After the Aogiri battle, there had been an oppressive air hanging over Anteiku, although everyone had made it through safely. Perhaps the missing “piece” was much larger than themselves.
“Irimi, is Mr. Yoshimura all right?” Hinami asked, seeing Irimi coming out of the room where Yoshimura, the manager of Anteiku, was recuperating. Yoshimura had singlehandedly fought the CCG elites in order to buy time while they were rescuing Kaneki. He was heavily wounded.
Irimi gave her a gentle smile. “He’s just resting up so he can get better, so don’t worry,” she said.
“Oh. Will he get better soon?”
“Definitely. He’ll have the café up and going again in no time.”
Anteiku was temporarily closed at the moment. The door was shut, and the café, which was usually filled with a gentle buzz, was deserted.
But Koma, the big-nosed waiter who had been left in charge of the store while it was closed, was keeping things in good order so that the café could be reopened at any time. And the rooms that had been destroyed in the Aogiri attack were still being repaired and would soon be restored to their former state.
“I guess you and Touka are gonna be really busy,” Hinami said casually. A faint shadow passed over Irimi’s face.
“Hinami, how’s Touka doing?”
“Um, well … same as always,” she answered.
Touka had gone into battle against the Aogiri Tree, fully prepared to die in order to save Kaneki, who had been kidnapped and imprisoned by them. Hinami thought that nobody had wanted to rescue Kaneki more than Touka, the young woman who let Hinami call her “big sister.”
She was often rather cold when it came to Kaneki, but she worried about him more than anyone else.
Hinami remembered seeing Touka immediately after Kaneki was kidnapped by Aogiri, pale-faced and shaking a little as Yoshimura told her that she should consider the fact that she may never see Kaneki again.
Bring Kaneki back and get back to normal. That was what everyone had wanted.
Hinami couldn’t fight like Touka could, but she’d learned from Irimi how to use her senses and had joined the fight by supporting everyone else. And then finally they’d succeeded in finding Kaneki, but—
It was like a novel by Sen Takatsuki, Hinami’s favorite author. There had been a conflict over something—conflicted emotions, misunderstood feelings, and a longed-for conclusion that never came to pass.
“Now things can go back to normal,” Touka had said, but Kaneki rejected that notion.
“I’m not going back to Anteiku.”
That was not all. Touka wanted to follow Kaneki if he was going to go his own way and do what he wanted to do, but he had rejected those feelings as well.
And then he’d taken off and left her there.
It must have been quite a shock for her, Hinami thought. And I’m sure it still hurts. But it wasn’t something she ever talked about in front of Hinami. And that made Hinami desperately sad.
What can I do to cheer her up?
Everyone was gathered in the entrance room, as if something was happening. When Hinami walked in, their pet cockatiel Hetare sang, “Hetare, hetare!” Hinami realized that this was the day of the week when Kaneki would usually give Hetare food, so she got the food out and changed his water. Hetare—whose name meant “loser”—buried his head in his food tray, pecking at his food like it might disappear soon.
She pulled a chair over by Hetare’s cage and watched him. Hetare started hopping around on his perch. Maybe he’s anxious because I’m here.
“I wonder how Kaneki’s doing …”
Touka wasn’t the only one she was worried about. She was also concerned about Kaneki, who had gone and left them.
Hinami hadn’t gotten to speak to him before he left that day, but watching from a distance she thought he looked lonely as he walked away, and that thought had stayed with her.
None of that changes the fact that they care about each other. So why do they both have to be so sad?
Hinami stood up, then put her finger through a gap in the bird’s cage. Hetare took note immediately and pressed his red cheek to her finger, playfully pretending to scratch his head against her. When she started to gently scratch his head with her fingernail, the overexcited bird looked at her happily. That’s probably enough, Hinami thought. She pulled her hand away and had started to walk out of the room when Hetare squealed, “Hetare, hetare!”
“I’ll come back later,” Hinami said, and shut the door. Hetare was still squawking.
She slipped secretly into the café. Even though it was temporarily closed, the store still smelled like fragrant coffee. Every time she took a breath the taste of coffee in the air made her tongue dance.
“Oh, we’ve got a customer. A cute one, too.”
A jolt of surprise went through Hinami. She had thought she was alone, but Koma was standing behind the counter. She thought he would be mad at her for coming in without permission, but Koma went back to work without telling her off.
“Mr. Koma, what are you doing?”
“Checking the coffee machine. Has to be done at a time like this.”
With practiced movements, Koma busily dismantled the device and wiped down its interior workings, replacing parts as needed. Hinami sat down at the counter and watched. Then, as if something had just occurred to him, he started brewing coffee with the machine he’d just checked.
Compared to the scent of coffee that lingered in the store, it smelled so rich that it tickled Hinami’s nose.
“Here you go,” Koma said, pouring the coffee into a cup and handing it over the counter to Hinami.
“Oh, are you sure?”
“I think the café feels lonely too, without any customers here.”
Hinami looked around her.
“Can a café be lonely?”
“It sure can. A café is like the cup, and customers are the coffee. One is not complete without the other. So I’m sure the café misses having people in it. Well, drink up, before it goes cold,” Koma said.
Hinami brought the coffee up to her mouth.
Coffee was the only thing she could have without feeling a sense of guilt, and it was also one of the very few things that Ghouls could share with humans. The coffee that Koma had made smelled somehow friendly. With each sip she remembered when the café was crowded. Hinami turned to look around again.
“You know, Kaneki used to come here a lot before he started working here.”
“Really?!”
“Yeah. I think he really liked the coffee I make.”
“Oh … Maybe he still misses your coffee …” she murmured, and Koma smiled.
“You’re worried about him, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m worried about him too. I wonder if the people in his group feel they can’t stop him even if he’s being reckless … But then, I don’t know if it’d be any different if I were there.”
“What do you mean, can’t stop him?” She tilted her head, unable to understand what he meant. Koma gave her a know-it-all look.